The Watson Letters Volume 3: Curse of the Baskervilles

By Colin Garrow

Intrepid investigators Holmes and Watson continue their fight against crime in a not quite Post-Victorian, steampunk parallel universe.

In three more adventures, the intrepid duo tackle a ghostly locomotive, journey to Dartmoor in search of a gigantic hound, and team up with bloodthirsty psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter in the hunt for a murderer. Adult humour throughout.

Curse of the Baskervilles is book #3 in this Victorian comedy adventure series.

If you love historical mysteries, buy something else instead, but if you're into fart-gags and innuendo this'll be right up your Victorian street. Download your copy of The Watson Letters Volume 3: Curse of the Baskervilles now.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Colin Garrow
• Release date: Nov 18, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370680030

Colin Garrow

Colin Garrow grew up in a former mining town in Northumberland. He has worked in a plethora of professions including: taxi driver, antiques dealer, drama facilitator, theatre director and fish processor, and has occasionally masqueraded as a pirate. All Colin's books are available as eBooks and most are also out in paperback, too. His short stories have appeared in several literary mags, including: SN Review, Flash Fiction Magazine, Word Bohemia, Every Day Fiction, The Grind, A3 Review, 1,000 Words, Inkapture and Scribble Magazine. He currently lives in a humble cottage in North East Scotland where he writes novels, stories, poems and the occasional song.

Book preview

The Watson Letters

Volume 3: Curse of the Baskervilles

By Colin Garrow

Distributed by Smashwords

Copyright 2017 Colin Garrow

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

In a not quite post-Victorian, steampunk parallel universe,

Holmes and Watson continue their fight against crime...

The Watson Letters is based on my Blog of the same name and features manly characters, crude language and adult inclinations. It is not intended for persons of a delicate nature.

Contents:

Curse of the Baskervilles - Part I

Curse of the Baskervilles - Part II

Curse of the Baskervilles - Part III

The Ghost Train - Part I

The Ghost Train - Part II

The Ghost Train - Part III

The Ghost Train - Part IV

Silence of the Lambtons - Part I

Silence of the Lambtons - Part II

Silence of the Lambtons - Part III

Silence of the Lambtons - Part IV

Other Books by This Author

Connect with Me

About the Author

Marlborough Hill

Christmas 1891

Sitting here in my little house, enjoying the fruits of the festive season and the tenderness of my wife's touch (as she massages my feet and occasionally runs a finger up my trouser leg), it is with pleasure and a little regret that I reflect on the last few years. I'm happy to say I now spend a great deal more time with my dear Mary, though the supreme excitement of my life so far has been when in the company of the world's first, and greatest, consulting detective.

In this foreword to the third volume of my adventures with Sherlock Holmes, I have veered a little from my original purpose. From the beginning, my intention had been to set out only our most recent cases, and those which (to my eye), might be deemed both enjoyable and enlightening. That said, I am aware one of our best-known adventures is one that, as yet, has remained firmly within the confines of 221B Baker Street. Although partially documented in some of the less salubrious periodicals, Holmes has thus far refused to give permission for the full details of the case to be made public.

I realise there are those who wish my companion ill, and who might prefer all records of his successes to be cast into the deepest pit, never to see the light of day. Therefore, it is with some sadness I must declare Sherlock Holmes himself to be one of those individuals who hindered the publication of this particular case. I confess that while Holmes has never sought publicity, he has at the same time refused to allow his faithful partner (me), to bask in any glory which may, or may not, be forthcoming from such indulgence.

Nonetheless, I am delighted Holmes has finally given his consent for a shortened version of the case to be presented here for your delight and delectation. Originally titled The Case of the Curse of the Hall of the Hound of the Baskervilles, I have called this account, simply, Curse of the Baskervilles.

I know Holmes won't bother reading this, so I would also like to validate my own opinion that the only thing keeping the details of it from the public gaze all these years, has been the Great Detective's lack of input, and his unwillingness to give praise where it is due. Truth be told, he did solve the mystery (eventually), leaving his faithful companion to sacrifice time and energy tracking down and documenting the innumerable characters who people this strangest of stories, and placing the pieces together in such a way as to enable Holmes to see what he likes to call the 'bigger picture'.

The other cases in this volume relate the details of two recent investigations. The first of these involves an isolated railway station and a phantom locomotive. Like the Baskerville tale, the final adventure in this collection concerns another curse—thankfully not of the gigantic-hound variety. The mystery centres around the murders of three members of the same family, bringing Holmes and myself into contact with one of the most dangerous villains on the planet—the psychiatrist Hannibal Lecter.

And now, I hope you will join me in travelling back to 1884 and a mystery that challenged my perceptions of murder, illustrating the lengths some people will go to in order to get what they want.

John Horatio Watson

Curse of the Baskervilles

Part I

Marlborough Hill

Monday, March 31st, 1884

To Sherlock Holmes Esq. from Doctor J. Watson

Holmes,

I’d begun to think you had once again disappeared off the face of the earth, dear friend, so am heartened to learn you had merely been languishing in the bowels of a Turkish brothel. I trust you are now ready to meet our next challenge, however I should first of all like to bring you up to date concerning my notes on the Thor Bridge incident.

It troubled me to discover the servant girl wasn't to blame (as I'd originally assumed), and in fact, it was only while ticking off my 'Sherlock Holmes Instant Crime-Scene' sheet, that I noticed how foolish I'd been over the whereabouts of the gun. Can't believe I was taken in by the planting of the weapon in the bottom of the girl's wardrobe. What a dolt!

If you'd been there, Holmes, I'm sure the girl wouldn't have had to bear the misery of that final walk up to the gallows where, luckily, I pitched in at the eleventh hour to save her from a fate worse than death. Well, obviously not worse than death, just death. She was tremendously grateful for my intervention, though rather hacked off when she learned of my blunder, which resulted in her being charged with murder in the first place. Oh well.

I shall let you have my report on the subject when I've regained my composure and straightened everything out with Lestrade. In the meantime, an item has come to my attention which I thought might interest you.

A small article caught my eye last evening while taking tea at my club with my old chum Stinker Murdoch. The Grimpen Advertiser is certainly not a periodical I normally take, but Murdoch buttonholed me, thinking it might be worthy of our attention (I think he meant your attention, but was too kind to say so). Apparently, there have been reports of a deviant creature traipsing round Dartmoor's fens and mires, scaring the pants off neighbourhood folk and putting the willies up the local gentry. Rumour suggests it's all to do with an old legend linked to the Baskerville estate (one of the district's landowning families, though the accusation may simply be an instance of sour milk). =

The story culminates with an account of the death a few days ago of Sir Charles Baskerville, who (depending on what you believe), may have had his throat bitten out by some spectral beast, or simply suffered a case of cardiac failure. In any case, the townsfolk are up in arms at the lack of progress on the part of the Dartmoorshire Constabulary, all of which prompts me to think they might benefit from a fresh perspective. ==

On re-reading the article, I don't see an obvious means of inveigling our way into this odd situation, but it does sound rather exciting, don't you think?

Anyway, I'm off down to the corner shop to get a quarter of sherbet lemons (Mary's playing hard to get at the moment so I'm in need of something hard and sweet).

Watson.

Baker Street

Wednesday, April 2nd, 1884

Sherlock Holmes Esq to Doctor J. Watson

Watson

Apologies for my tardiness, but I have been engaged in a matter concerning a missing lady novelist and her companion, a Belgian detective. As such, I may be called away at any moment. I suggest you deal with the Baskerville matter yourself and report to me anything of interest.

H.

Marlborough Hill

Thursday, April 3rd, 1884

To Sherlock Holmes Esq. from Doctor J. Watson

Holmes

Following my last missive, I contacted Sir Hennery Baskerville and received an unexpectedly quick response from that same individual. It turns out he and I were at boarding school together, though I have no memory of him. The letter popped onto my doormat this morning and I have to admit, it sent more than a shiver down my spine.

Baskerville Hall

Grimpen Village

Devonshire

Wednesday, April 2nd, 1884

To Doctor J. Watson from Sir Hennery Baskerville (Bart.)

John

It was good to hear from you after all these years, though I was a tad surprised, given the ‘punishments’ I used to dish out to you and the other fags after lights out. However, I am afraid you may not feel up to further correspondence once you have digested my news. My uncle, Sir Charles Baskerville, died recently in mysterious circumstances. On hearing of his death, I returned to Baskerville Hall, but have to declare it is a place full of shadows and stories, all of which does nothing to help me sleep at night. If you could spare a few days from your practice, I would be cheered to receive you at the Hall where I shall be glad to hear your opinion on recent events. While I wouldn't say I'm in fear for my life, I could certainly use a friend. Preferably one with a gun in his pocket.

The letter goes on to say he'll provide a chaise to pick me up at the station on Friday evening, should I decide to make the journey. I have to tell you Holmes, I'm more than a little trepidatious at the thought of what might await me.

I shall keep you posted.

Watson

Diary of Doctor J. Watson

Baskerville Hall

Friday, 4th April 1884

I arrived on the outskirts of Grimpen village late this evening, alighting at the tiny and somewhat remote railway station to find I was the only passenger to get off the train. The rain positively fell in sheets and the fact I'd relinquished my umbrella in favour of my second-best bowler, ticked me off a little—a hat is no substitute for a brolly in torrential conditions.

Sir Hennery's manservant—a surly-looking fellow by the name of Barrymore—further cheered my arrival by answering my series of questions with a series of grunts. He sports a square-cut black beard and has a manner about him that suggests he may be hiding some dark secret, though the feeling may have been due as much to the overall solemnity of the place than the man himself. He hefted my bags into the chaise and we drove silently to Baskerville Hall, a distance of several miles. By the time we reached our destination, I was thoroughly chilled to the bone.

A dour-faced woman (who looked strangely familiar) welcomed us at the door. As Barrymore walked past her, carrying my luggage, I realised the two were quite similar (apart from the beard, of course). Her short dark hair and mannish features were a far cry from the softly spoken, feminine creatures I normally meet. Stepping forwards, she shook my hand. Surprisingly, I found it to be warm and pleasantly soft.

'Elvira Barrymore, Docter. Oi'm the housekeeper here. Oi trust your stay will