Lost in the Reflecting Pool: A Memoir

By Diane Pomerantz

Award-Winning Memoir



2017 Readers’ Favorite







When Diane, a psychologist, falls in love with Charles, a charming and brilliant psychiatrist, there is laughter and flowers—and also darkness. After moving through infertility treatments and the trials of the adoption process as a united front, the couple is ultimately successful in creating a family. As time goes on, however, Charles becomes increasingly critical and controlling, and Diane begins to feel barraged and battered. When she is diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer, Charles is initially there for her, but his attentiveness quickly vanishes and is replaced by withdrawal, anger, and unfathomable sadism. What Diane previously thought were just Charles' controlling ways are replaced by clear pathologic narcissism and emotional abuse that turns venomous at the very hour of her greatest need.







A memoir and a psychological love story that is at times tender and at times horrifying, Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a chronicle of one woman's struggle to survive within—and ultimately break free of—a relationship with a man incapable of caring about anyone beyond himself.

• Language: English
• Publisher: She Writes Press
• Release date: Oct 10, 2017
• ISBN: 9781631522697

Diane Pomerantz

Dr. Diane Pomerantz is a clinical psychologist who has been in practice working with children, adolescents, and adults in the Baltimore, Maryland area for over thirty-five years. She has done extensive work in the area of trauma and child abuse and research in the area of personality development of abused children. She currently runs Healing Through Writing groups in her practice. She is a breast cancer survivor and has two wonderful grown children. She and her shaggy dog, Rug, live amidst tall trees on the outskirts of Baltimore, Maryland.

Reviews for Lost in the Reflecting Pool

[cherylk_44 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Reading this book really makes me appreciate my husband. We may get on each other's nerves at times but he cares for me. I appreciate Diane sharing her story. In a way I would imagine that telling this story is freedom like a singer writing a song of heartbreak. Diane went through a lot with infertility issues and than receiving a cancer diagnosis. I was shocked when Diane's former husband was unsupportive towards Diane's treatment and cancer recovery. However, the most shocking was when one day Charles tells Diane that he is tried of hearing about her cancer. Diane found her strength again to leave her husband and emerge a new, stronger person. Lost in a Reflecting Pool is a strong memoir that does not leave you sinking.

[kathleen.pooler · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This story is an honest and gripping portrayal of a woman who falls in love and marries a charming psychiatrist whose narcissistic personality disorder slowly but steadily erodes the relationship and turns into an abusive situation. The fact that she herself is a clinical psychologist adds a deeper dimension to the story. In a fast-paced story with vivid imagery she shares her journey of survival and triumph over both a marital nightmare and cancer.With unflinching candor, she bravely reveals her vulnerabilities and human frailties as she navigates around her husband’s erratic and insensitive behavior to raise their two children while facing a cancer diagnosis. Her characters are believable and her writing is engaging. Once I started reading this story, I had a hard time putting it down.I finished her story with tears in my eyes. This memoir is a riveting and deeply personal story of grace under fire and serves as a reminder of the resilience of the human spirit in overcoming overwhelming challenges. This memoir will appeal to anyone who has endured an abusive relationship at the hands of a narcissistic partner.

[sheila1957 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I expected a very difficult read that would take several days because of my reluctance to pick the book up when I put it down but what a shock when I started reading it. I could not put it down. What a story! Naturally I started judging immediately as Ms. Pomerantz meets Charles who would become her husband. Signs were there that made me question where was her mind but as the story unfolds the reader is shown what a marriage to a narcissist is like. We are shown how good the narcissist is at manipulation and how the victim questions herself--is she the crazy one? I wondered how she could stay but as she explains what is happening I am amazed she did not kill him. As she tells us when she is diagnosed with cancer she has neither the ability (energy/time/health) nor the money to leave as she was on his insurance and not working at the time. Thankfully she had great friends who were there to support and help her as well as making new friends to see her through this time. I am amazed how her friends were able to keep their mouths shut for so long about Charles' emotional abuse towards her. When they do tell her their opinions, all have the same opinion. When she finally realizes she has to leave, she still hopes for reconciliation but Charles is so far gone that there is no hope to regain what she once thought they had. I like that once she determined to leave, she had the support of friends and her father (Poppy.) Her father was super great. Though he was not in the story long, he is a tower of strength. He does what has to been done for his daughter and her children. The children were also supportive of her. There were some shaky times but when they finally leave and get to their new home, life changes drastically. They are in a neighborhood with other kids and they have a different childhood then. As I read the story I did not get very emotional as she is going through Charles' behavior and the cancer but towards the end with Poppy I bawled. I appreciated the young doctor who was with him and gave Diane such words of encouragement and inspiration.The writing is so wonderful that I was absorbed into the story. I appreciate that she wrote it as a memoir and not a novel. The impact of it was strong. This is a definite read for everyone whether you are in a marriage like this or not. I learned so much.