The Faith in Peril Trilogy Box Collection

By Holly Newcastle

Welcome to the Glick family of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania! The “Faith in Peril Trilogy” spans six years in the lives of Rebekah, Anna, and Ruth Glick. Each girl will face an enormous challenge, which will not only test her faith and courage, but also lead her to love.

In Thrown to the Wolves, Rebekah Glick and her brother and sister are lost in the forest. When rescue finally comes, it’s Daniel Stoltzfus who appears, although Rebekah does not like him in the least. She’s forced to confront the past, realizing she may have judged Daniel too harshly. But this is the least of their troubles, as a pack of wolves are determined to attack them.

Anna Glick adores Bishop Elijah Hartzler’s sermons in Tears of the Bishop, preferring him to all the other preachers. After his wife dies in childbirth, she comes upon him in a field of corn, where he has gone to grieve. In the greatest of agony, she comforts Elijah, forming a friendship that develops into something deeper. But … she’s courting Abram Zug, and Catherine Albrecht has her sights set on the bishop, wanting him for her own.

In Walk Through Fire, Ruth Glick plans to marry Isaac Zook, who she has been courting for months. An elderly neighbor in need garners her attention, but after the man falls ill, she is forced to find his son, Gabriel Fisher, who left the Gmay years earlier. Gabriel owns a saloon in Intercourse, preferring whiskey and women to the stringent rules of the Ordnung. His plans change the moment he meets Ruth, who captivates him from the start. A devastating house fire alters the course of everyone lives.

Each story is a standalone novel of faith, courage, and love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: All Is Calm Publishing
• Release date: Aug 6, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386469131

Book preview

The Faith in Peril Trilogy

The Faith in Peril Trilogy

Holly Newcastle

All Is Calm Publishing

Copyright © 2014, 2017 Holly Newcastle

All Rights Reserved

D2D Edition

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http://hollynewcastle.wordpress.com/

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This work contains three books previously published by Holly Newcastle, Thrown to the Wolves, Tears of the Bishop, and Walk

Through

Fire

.

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Cover art by Erin

Dameron

-

Hill

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All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

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All Scripture quotations are from the King James Version

This book contains material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this book is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author.

Contents

Volume 1

Thrown to the Wolves

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Volume 2

Tears of the Bishop

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Volume 3

Walk Through Fire

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Volume

One

Thrown to the Wolves by Holly Newcastle

Thrown to the Wolves

Holly Newcastle

Chapter

1

Lancaster County,

Pennsylvania

1882

I lay in bed thinking about the evening to come, as twinges of anticipation raced through me. My mind spun at the thought of seeing Michael Esch tonight, thereby preventing sleep. I wished he would ask to court me. Being eighteen and eager to find a husband, I wanted a family of my own. A neighbor, Daniel Stoltzfus, twice asked to take me home after singing, but I detested him with a passion, refusing the offers. I felt certain my life would be complete if Michael courted me, and perhaps he

would

soon

.

My sister, Anna, and I shared a bed. I stared at her face, the flawlessness of her skin and her full, pink mouth, which was partially open. Her chest gently rose and fell with each breath. Though four years younger than me, I felt closest to her out of all my siblings. Ruth, who was barely twelve, slept across the room with Molly, a German shepherd mix, who took up most of the bed. The dog had lain on its back, with its paws across its chest, while the legs had fallen open. Poor Ruth had been forced to the edge, where she was in danger of falling off, but, despite the lack of space, she slept soundly.

I believe I know who you’re thinking of, Rebekah, but Daniel Stoltzfus would be a better choice,

said

Anna

.

I groaned inwardly. She wasn’t asleep after all. "Oh, please don’t

say

that

."

The Troyers had hosted church this morning. The barn accommodated the more than thirty families who attended the service, and we had borne the discomfort of the late August heat, sweating in the nearly stifling humidity. Lunch had followed, as we had eaten at long wooden tables, while dozens of conversations rang out. Once we had arrived home, everyone had taken to bed to rest, until the evening singing. The look of the shadows in the room, told us that we should wake and get ready. I awaited the singing with nervous elation, because the courting would begin afterwards, and I had my heart set on Michael Esch, who I secretly admired.

It’s only a suggestion, said Anna. If you want dull and docile, then pine away after Michael.

I’m ignoring that. I disagree completely.

Because you’re blind and stubborn.

"I’m ignoring that

as

well

."

I stared at the wood beams over my head that reached across to the other wall. My life had begun in this farmhouse, and here I had spent its entirety. My sister, Anna, and I had made yellow, paper stars years ago, hanging them from little nails. Only three remained, the paper having faded to white. This brought back sweet, happy memories of childhood and running around through the fields that surrounded our house. I stared at them now, while a slight breeze billowed the curtains, bringing with it hot,

sticky

air

.

"Do you think she’ll still

marry

him

?"

I glanced at Anna; relieved we had moved on to another subject. I don’t know. She referred to Evelyn Shetter, who had planned to marry Ira Chupp, but a farming accident had left him with a broken back, unable to use or even feel his own legs. She was by his side today.

I saw that. Anna arched, her arms reaching above her head, while she yawned. "I have to ask you something. What would you do if that happened to your intended? Would you seek another or marry him, cripple

and

all

?"

"I can’t

answer

that

."

"It should

be

easy

."

Nothing is ever easy. We’re all tested. Evelyn is being tested now. Her devotion has been brought into question. Everyone’s looking at her. They all want to know if she’ll leave him because he’s an invalid. He can’t walk. He won’t be able to manage a farm. I leaned near, whispering, Will he even be able to make children? I could speak plainly with Anna. We discussed everything, no matter how delicate.

"I was wondering

that

too

."

"How will they get on, if he

can’t

farm

?"

"People will help them, you

know

that

."

The community had already rallied around the couple, offering support—food and money—which was expected. That’s true, but … I know she wants children.

"What did the ‘English’ doctor say? Did you hear anything? Perhaps it’s just the legs. Maybe…other

things

work

."

I giggled, "For Evelyn’s sake, I hope so. I prayed for her,

you

know

."

As did I. I prayed for his recovery too, but it failed to happen.

But he’s alive. The fever is gone. There’s a miracle.

Yes. Anna lifted her head from the pillow, gazing at Ruth. That dog’s taken over the entire bed. Molly, who sensed we spoke about her, kicked a paw, and turned to her side, where she stared at us, her black eyes glinting. You silly dog. She sniffed the air in response.

I need to use the outhouse.

"

Me

too

."

I wonder if Mam and Dat are awake? I swung my legs off the mattress, my bare feet touching braided carpet. The dog, observing this movement, jumped from the bed, waking Ruth, who grunted.

What? She glanced at us, bleary-eyed. "What time

is

it

?"

Time to wake up, sleepy-head, I said. We don’t want to be late for the singing. It’s what I’ve been waiting for all week. We would return to the Troyer farm again, partaking in the festivities, which would go on well into the night.

Anna remained in bed, while Molly followed me from the room, her paws scratching against the wood floor. Walking down the dim hallway, I passed my parent’s bedroom. They had left the door open for the breeze. They lay on their sides, spooning together, Mam curled around the baby, and Dat behind her, an arm draped across her midsection. The three of them were like peas in a pod. My brothers, David and Jacob, slept across the hall behind the closed door of their bedroom.

The only sound in the house came from an old ticking clock, which had been in the family for generations. My Oma, whom I missed dearly, had the clock in her possession before she grew old and sold her farm. Molly and I wandered through the parlor towards the kitchen, located at the back of the house. I saw dishes drying by a large sink. Mam had covered the table with my favorite yellow cloth, which I had made as a child. Three apple pies sat in the center, waiting for us to bring them to dinner tonight. An image of Michael filled my mind. I could imagine him entering a kitchen similar to this and upon seeing the selection of pies, praising me for making them. Daniel Stoltzfus complimented Mam several Sundays ago for a cherry pie he had eaten, and she corrected him by saying I had baked it. A frown appeared on my face from the memory.

I reached for the door, holding it open for Molly, who scrambled down the wooden steps. The outhouse was across the yard, and I wandered over a stone path through the garden just before the small shack. Fluffy, white, billowing clouds had gathered, the sound of thunder booming in the distance. The threat of a late afternoon storm brewed. The dog sniffed at a row of vegetables, while I disappeared into the outhouse, the smell wrinkling

my

nose

.

Our farm encompassed hundreds of acres of corn and wheat, grown in neat rows. A dense forest that remained mostly unexplored bordered this. I preferred open spaces, and I adored the grounds around the house and the pond. My father managed the farm, aided by his twenty-one-year old son, David, my older brother. They worked long hours in the dust and heat, while Jacob, just turned five, helped where he could, although too young for hard labor. He helped tend the animals, and Mam put him to work in the garden, pulling weeds. She also kept him employed feeding the chickens and other

little

jobs

.

Emerging from the outhouse, I spied Mam, who stood in the doorway with Abe in her arms. You’re awake,

she

said

.

"

I

am

."

"We should ready

ourselves

soon

."

I know. Molly had wandered off; I glimpsed her tail swooshing in the distance, her body hidden by tall grass. I can take him, if you want. I held out my hands, and she gave me the baby, who cooed.

Thank you, Rebekah. She stepped onto the path, her blue dress brushing her ankles.

I gazed at Abe, whose face was plump and rounded. I could not resist kissing his cheek, while he squirmed in my arms. He smelled like almonds, sweet and delicious, his skin soft to the touch. Mam tried to have another baby for years, fearing she would not be able to have more. Abe’s birth had therefore come as a blessing to us. Anna and Ruth and I sometimes fought over who would get to hold him, as we all adored our new brother.

We had several barnyard cats, although Topper was the only one allowed inside the house, the cat having been domesticated years earlier. She sported greenish-yellow eyes, gray fur, and a white-tipped tail. I found her in the kitchen, lapping at a bowl of water, while voices echoed at the end of the hallway. Everyone was awake now. Even Mam had returned, breezing into

the

room

.

Did you sleep well? She undid her white kapp, revealing wayward hair. I need to tidy myself. She glanced at Ruth, who had approached with Anna. "Is David

up

yet

?"

No, said Ruth, pulling out a chair. I’m hungry.

Me too,

said

Anna

.

"We’re going to supper soon. You’ll just have

to

wait

."

Ruth eyed the pie. I wish I could eat this now. It smells very nice. She leaned in, sniffing.

Mam pursed her lips. Don’t touch it, she said sternly, but humor glinted in her eyes. "I’ll be cross if any bits and pieces are missing. You may have pie after supper. We had a big lunch. There’s no reason why you can’t wait a little longer

to

eat

."

My father, a tall, lanky man, appeared, finger combing his messy hair. Scratching his beard, he smiled, the edges of his eyes crinkling. Did we oversleep?

Not at all, said Mam. "But we should get

ready

soon

."

I had taken a seat with Abe in my lap, while Jacob ran into the room. Dat snatched him up, lifting him off his feet. Where are you going in such a rush? My brother squealed happily, while Mam grimaced at the noise.

Where’s Molly? asked Jacob. Where’s the doggie?

She’s outside,

I

said

.

Where we should be. Dat flung Jacob over his shoulder. To the outhouse. He swatted his bottom playfully. We’ll bring her back with us. He strode towards the door, while Jacob shouted with delight.

Mam held her face in her hands.

I asked, Does your head ache again? Prone to terrible pains at times, the effects debilitating, she would often shutter herself away in a dark room until it passed.

No, I’m well. She smiled longingly. They’re just loud. It was peaceful before.

Abe fussed then. I kicked up a knee, bouncing him gently. I thought Bishop Graber might be the cause of your pounding head. I was teasing, as we all knew how long-winded and dull his

sermons

were

.

He wasn’t as bad today. He’s been worse.

A clap of thunder registered, rumbling over our heads. Anna went to the door to look out. "It’s going

to

pour

."

Mam had begun to undo her hair. "Someone needs to wake David. He’s been sleeping long

enough

now

."

I got to my feet. I’ll do it. I needed to change my clothes before

we

left

.

I’ll go with you. Anna stood by my side, glancing at Abe. "You should give him to Ruth. She can

manage

him

."

I’ll take him, said Mam. He’s in need of a feeding anyhow. She cradled the baby in her arms. Just wake David, please.

Anna and I were now free to leave.

My brother had been baptized a few hours earlier. This was the result of months of instruction, culminating in full membership in the Old Order Amish church. I had gone through the process nearly a year ago, choosing to submit to the Gmay for the rest of my life, as I could not imagine living any differently. I had not struggled with the decision like my brother had. We had worried David would not find his way, because he had gone through a rather wild phase, Mam saying often, "Manche Jungen sind so wild." She complained about how wicked and wayward his friends in the district were. He had taken to smoking tobacco and racing buggies with friends in the neighborhood. The final straw had come when he had purchased a harmonica, learning to the play the instrument, which was strictly verboten. Dat had drawn the line then, threatening to toss him from the house.

Anna and I took to the stairs, the hallway even darker now, as the sun had dipped behind the trees. The wind had picked up and a flash of lightning streaked before an open window.

It’s nearly here, said Anna, reaching for the sash, which she lowered.

I’ll wake David. I stood before the door, not wanting to open it without knocking. I had once burst in on him, catching him changing, which had embarrassed us both. I rapped on the door. "David! Wach auf! We’re

going

soon

."

"Ja," was his reply.

I turned to Anna. I need to change.

It had been stiflingly hot in church. The barn had offered little ventilation, and I had sweated through the dress. After singing tonight, there would be the possibility of courtship, and I had hoped Michael Esch might finally ask to court me. I felt it imperative I appeared as presentable as possible just in case this happened.

I closed the door to the bedroom, while Anna pulled open a drawer. The wind gusted and rain splashed against the windowpanes. It’s coming down hard now, said Anna. It sounded like there might be hail as well. "What color are you wearing? The mauve

or

blue

?"

Blue.

"I’ll wear the

other

then

."

Being nearly the same size allowed us to share dresses. I’m eager for the singing.

Me too. She struggled with her apron; the sash was tangled.

I had undressed, washing with a cloth dunked in water from a bowl that stood upon a dresser. "I need to

clean

up

."

The room’s furniture consisted of two beds and a set of oddly matched drawers. These came down to us from previous generations. What sort of furniture would Michael’s family give him? Rumor had it he was clever at wood making. I could imagine our house filled with lovely pieces of furniture he had painstakingly crafted. Anna and I had sewn our quilt by hand, from various scraps of cloth. The pattern was a work of art, and it had taken more than eight months to complete. The design consisted of dozens of squares surrounding multi-colored leaves. We had already begun a new one, with an even more ambitious pattern.

The storm had brought in dark clouds, which dimmed the light of the room further. Anna lit a lamp, frowning, while searching through a drawer. "I hope that dress isn’t on the

clothes

line

."

My mouth fell open. "Oh, dear! We’ve left everything hanging in

the

rain

."

The wind howled, the sound whistling over the rooftop. Well, it’s too late now. It’ll all have to dry again. I’ll find something else to wear. I’ve a clean dress or two … somewhere.

"This can’t be good. The roads will flood, and the horses

will

fuss

."

It’s moving quickly. It’ll be over by the time we leave.

"I

hope

so

."

She pulled out a dress, holding it up for inspection. "I don’t want to drown tonight. Oh, Lord, please make the rain stop, so the singing isn’t

ruined

.

Amen

."

I laughed at that. "That will surely

do

it

."

"It’s terribly wrinkled, but it’s all

I

have

."

Cries from the baby caught my attention. I should hurry. Mam will need help with Abe. I tucked an errant strand of blonde hair into my black kapp. Come down when you’re ready.

Yes, Rebekah.

As providence would have it, the rain let up just as we left the house. Dat had already hitched the mare to the buggy in preparation of our departure. The eight of us managed to sit comfortably, with Jacob on Dat’s lap and Abe in Mam’s arms. The girls wore shawls and bonnets, as the rain had brought a chill. David looked distinguished in a black suit with a black

felt

hat

.

Dat clucked to the horse, and, with a jerk, we were off. The singing began almost immediately. Gott ist die Leibe was one of Jacob’s favorites, the little boy joining in with enthusiasm. We lived a mile down the road from the Troyer farm, and we bobbed and shook on our seats, as the wheels jostled over uneven ground.

Mam, who held Abe, met Dat’s gaze, her smile deepening. I frequently caught their exchanges; the affection they felt for one another evident. I wanted so much to feel this way with Michael.

"Sie sind schön," he murmured.

She smiled coyly, clearly relishing being called beautiful. But my mother was lovely, with thick blonde hair, an unlined face, and clear blue eyes. All the females in the family possessed these features, although none of us had grown as tall as our mother. I was an inch shorter and Anna two, but she awaited a growth spurt. Ruth, who was nearly twelve, was even smaller.

We passed fields on either side of the road, but they did not belong to us. Rather they belonged to the Stoltzfus family on the right and the Esch family on the left. I craned my neck to look left; their house stood off at a distance, its roofline hidden by an enormous hickory tree. A black buggy waited out front, which brought a surge of hope through me. Michael would be at the singing tonight, and I had every expectation he would ask to court me. I had known him since I was a child. He had recently submitted to the Gmay, and he was ready to become a member of the brotherhood, which meant marriage, children, and farming. These were the things I wished for as well, and I felt confident I had chosen the perfect partner, although Michael had yet to

know

this

.

A long line of buggies approached the Troyer farm from either side. Most of the households in the district had returned to participate in supper and singing. We carried our pies, while others had baked heartier dishes. The ladies brought their burdens towards the house, while the men congregated in the yard. The boys—acting as hostlers—ran out to unhitch the horses, leading them to the barn for food and water.

Anna stood with me, as we watched the buggies arrive, clattering down the drive, noting exactly which family would be joining us tonight. I hoped Michael Esch would appear soon. He was a fair-haired young man of good standing, whom I had come to admire. I valued kindness and honesty in a potential mate, and I believed he held these characteristics, as I had never seen him treat

anyone

ill

.

Can I guess who you’re looking for?

asked

Anna

Um … I suppose. Groups of men stood by the barn, while youths wandered towards the house, where we would sit for supper.

Mr. Esch is pleasing enough, I suppose, but what about someone like Daniel Stoltzfus?

I glanced at Anna, who smiled teasingly. "Pleasing enough? You know I don’t like Daniel. Why must you bring

him

up

?"

"If you prefer bland. I’ve never found Michael all that interesting. I once listened to him prattling on about how long it took to till a field. He described it row

by

row

."

"Oh,

stop

it

."

What on earth would you talk about? She seemed determined to belabor this topic. "How many eggs the hens laid or whose cow knocked over what fence or who fell in a ditch and broke

an

arm

."

"You’re being

annoying

now

."

She nodded, indicating I look in another direction. There comes Daniel Stoltzfus. Hasn’t he grown handsome? He’s taller than nearly everyone.

I was well-acquainted with every member of the Stoltzfus family, and, although I adored Daniel’s sisters, Rose, Jane, and Mary, along with his younger brothers, Adam, John, and Henry, I could scarcely contain my distain for Daniel.

Anna knew why I disliked him, but she persisted on annoying me by pointing him out wherever we went, as if I could ignore him. He stood taller than most of the men, long and lanky, but as solid as a wood plank. A seasoned farmer, he worked the land his family owned, embracing the labor with zeal; I had seen him often enough with his horses, commandeering a plow. Daniel stood with his father and brothers; the female members of the family had disappeared into the house. And, as if sensing my notice, he turned towards me, his face partially hidden beneath a wide-brimmed,

felt

hat

.

Do you think he’ll ask to court you again?

I surely hope not. I had refused him twice already. "He must be weary of asking

by

now

."

"He’s staring

at

you

."

I shrugged, feeling justified in my resentment, although I had forgiven him years ago … for something I could never forget. "I care not if he looks

this

way

."

I know you loathe him, but what happened, it was so long in the past. You know what they say, ‘For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.’

Yes, Anna, I’m well aware of that. I … forgive him. I … just can’t forget.

You judge him still. She frowned, marring her pretty features. That’s not your job. Only He can judge.

Fine and dandy, but I won’t court him. I’ve no desire to speak to him. I don’t wish to be anywhere he is. Nonetheless, I seemed to have his full attention, his dark gaze drifting over me, while he stood with his father. Clean-shaven, he held his chin slightly higher than everyone else’s, giving proof of his pride to any who would see. "Indeed, even if he were the last Amish man on earth and I was the last Amish woman, even if our joining would continue the bloodline, I would not

marry

him

."

Anna, stunned by my sharp retort, snorted, and began laughing uncontrollably, which garnered the interest of several people, who turned to look at us. I took her arm, leading her to the house. We’ve lingered long enough. Let’s help with dinner. As we walked away, I glanced over my shoulder, spying Daniel staring in our direction. This sent a shiver down my spine, which was not in the least bit pleasant.

Chapter

2

With as many people as had gathered in the Troyer house, we were surprisingly orderly, even the little ones behaving themselves, some playing with toys, while others remained close to their mothers. As we took our seats at the table in the parlor, luck failed me tonight. I found myself situated across from Daniel Stoltzfus and his family, the sisters smiling pleasantly. I groaned my displeasure inwardly, fighting the frown that threatened to appear on my face. Anna, noting my unhappiness, grinned mischievously, blinking at me beneath her eyelashes, trying to get my goat. I wanted to

throttle

her

.

My mother, oblivious to my suffering, chatted amiably, an ever-present smile creasing the edges of her eyes, while she spoke with Mrs. Stoltzfus. Having gone to school together, the women were old friends. Conversations abounded, whilst the lilting voices of children added to the commotion. Being hungry, my belly grumbled, anticipating the meatloaf with cabbage and onions. I eyed a large bowl of potato salad and a basket of freshly baked bread, but first there would be prayer. We knelt on the floor, placing our hands on the chairs

before

us

.

Bishop Graber said, "O Lord God, our merciful Father, we thank you for this day, for allowing us the opportunity to better

serve

Thee

…"

Anna prayed with her hands upraised and resting against her forehead, a slight smile lingering around her mouth. While trying to concentrate on the Bishop’s words, I felt eyes upon me. Looking an inch higher, I discovered proof of this, as Daniel Stoltzfus faced me, his look stark, yet indomitable. Annoyed and disturbed, I lowered my head and closed my eyes, listening to Bishop Graber, who knelt

with

us

.

"… guide us and teach us to act accordingly to Thy will. We strive to be obedient in all things, to be kind to others, to share our earthly belongings with those in need, and to live by Thy grace. Bless this food we are about to eat, for it is the nourishment we seek … that you have given

us

…

Amen

."

Amen, I murmured.

Once we had resumed our seats, a bowl of mashed potatoes came my way, and I helped myself to a steaming spoonful. We ate in companionable silence; my sole focus on the meal, yet swallowing became difficult, knowing Daniel Stoltzfus sat directly across from me. His presence was like a bothersome splinter in the finger or an itchy rash from a plant in the garden. The conversation centered mostly on childrearing, farming, and gossip, as several couples had announced their desire to marry recently.

Anna knocked against my knee with her knee, feigning innocence. She knew how I felt about Daniel, thinking it funny to toy with me in such a manner. The males and females would be separated once the singing began. I looked forward to this, because I wanted to remove myself from Daniel’s disturbing presence. His sisters, Rose, Jane, and Mary were lovely girls, and I adored them. We had gone to school together. Jane would soon be married, and she beamed with happiness, because her intended sat at the next table.

Dessert and coffee followed the meal, while various discussions continued; talk of fishing, hunting, and farming abounded. Mam sat with Abe on her lap, the baby drooling and babbling, which made me long to hold him. I adored my brother, finding him endlessly fascinating, each stage of his development a joy to behold. He was our miracle baby, a blessing my parents had been praying for and anticipating.

Whenever Daniel spoke, which occurred seldom, the baritone of his voice infiltrated my brain, like a spear thrown expertly, hitting its mark. His words rambled around in my consciousness, and, although he expressed himself eloquently enough, I disliked hearing him, wishing he would be quiet. It wasn’t long before the dishes were taken up and the tables removed, while benches were brought in. Anna and I sat with Ruth and her friends, Mildred and Tessa, while Mam and Dat sat with Abe and Jacob at the back of the room with the other parents. The girls sat in one row, the boys were in the next and it alternated in this manner, while the furthest row held the rowdier boys, who partook in tomfooleries, believing we would not notice, although

we

did

.

The singing was the highlight of the evening, our voices soaring in harmony. The boys sang several verses and then the girls, this process alternating repeatedly. Most of the songs were in German with a few in English. I wasn’t a gifted singer like Anna, whose lovely voice was always in tune. Standing next to her gave me an advantage, as it helped me to stay on pitch. The music calmed my nerves and lifted my spirits, similar to walking through a garden in spring. The effort it took to perform at the top of my lungs had left me exhilarated and sweaty, although I did not mind the latter in the least. Every note had been worth it. These gatherings were always joyous and lively, the songs fast-paced and vibrant, a stark contrast to the hymns sung in church.

The boys were the first to file out of the room, while the girls followed, the parents staying behind with the smaller children. A fair amount of courting happened outside, with those already spoken for leaving together in buggies, the boy driving the girl to her house. I lingered with Anna, my stalwart confidant, while Ruth spoke with a friend.

You did well,

she

said

.

I glanced at her in disbelief. I did not. If it weren’t for you, I’d have given everyone a headache. My singing is terrible.

Nonsense. It’s lovely.

Well, if it isn’t the Glick sisters, said a voice

behind

us

.

I turned to find Caleb Shetler, a friend from school. Hello, Caleb. How are you tonight?

He grinned beneath his black felt hat. "Well,

and

you

?"

Better now, said Anna. It was hot inside with all the lamps.

I nodded in agreement. Yes, it was. Caleb courted Victoria Chupp. Where’s Vicky? I hadn’t recalled seeing her this evening.

She’s not feeling well. His smile faltered. "She stayed home. I really wished she

could

come

."

Anna glanced at me meaningfully, and we silently commiserated with Victoria’s condition, the malady being of a female, personal nature. She experienced difficulties when her time of the month occurred.

I’m sure she’ll be better soon, said Anna kindly.

Several buggies had already left, filled with young couples, while others were in the process of being driven out. From where I stood, beneath the tree near the house, I saw groups of people scattered across the yard. A noisy bunch of men near the barn laughed and shouted. Several girls huddled together near an assemblage of buggies, while children, who had escaped their parents, ran around.

I sought out Michael, craning my neck to find him. He was off himself, hitching a horse to a buggy. I desperately wanted to hope that he would take me home, although we had not discussed this at all, and my house was not up to receiving visitors. Perhaps he would leave alone … but, as he settled within the conveyance, a girl appeared from the crowd, and I recognized her as Beth Beiler, someone younger than myself. My spirits plummeted, realizing he had asked to

court

her

.

Caleb had wandered off to speak to friends, while Anna remained by my side. Well, that’s rather telling, isn’t it?

she

said

.

I wanted to ignore her, but I couldn’t. When did this happen? I felt crushed with disappointment.

"I’m just as astonished as

you

are

."

"I had so hoped he would

ask

me

."

A reserved, yet contemplative look graced her face. You expected too much of him, Rebekah. As I recall, your conversations were never more than casual. He’s told you almost nothing about himself.

I could not hide my frustration. That’s what courting is for! We’re supposed to talk then. It’s almost impossible to discuss anything when everyone’s listening. There were so few opportunities for young people to meet and speak, thereby making the time after singing so important.

Anna touched my shoulder in sympathy, as Michael’s buggy ambled from the yard. If it’s any consolation, you’ve Daniel’s undivided attention.

I groaned, glancing at my feet. "I care not

for

that

."

Yet he continues to pine for you, which is puzzling.

He’s free to make a fool of himself. I shrugged, feeling downtrodden, as the buggy I wished to be in disappeared into the darkness. In my defense, I had to say, "I’ve spoken with Michael before, and it wasn’t only about the weather, although we did

discuss

that

."

"He’s chosen Beth. Everyone witnessed it. She came forward to join him, and now

they’re

gone

."

The finality in her tone sat like a lump in my belly. "You needn’t watch over me. Go amuse yourself. I’m … going to the house to

see

Mam

."

I felt as if the evening, with all its joyous possibility had been ruined. Grasping the shawl firmly, I took to the steps, hurrying for the entrance. Daniel leaned against the open door, while laughter and talking emanated from inside. Lamplight threw out a yellowish glow behind him. I moved by him to go in, and, although I didn’t want to, our eyes met. I hid my disdain, while old, unpleasant feelings bubbled to the surface. I schooled my features, fighting the scowl that threatened to appear.

He nodded to me, inclining his head slightly, while staring at me with an air of resigned patience. After I had refused him the second time, not giving him an answer as to why, although he had asked, he had begun to wear this look, and it was unnerving. I did not want to linger here, praying he would not say anything to me. I darted into the house, the awkward moment passing, and I breathed freely again.

We sang all the way home, jostled steadily within the confines of the buggy. I held Abe in my arms, but the baby had fallen asleep. Jacob, who had eaten one too many slices of pie, jumped up and down, full of energy, while Mam yawned, her eyes half-closed in exhaustion. Church Sundays tired everyone, because we had been on our feet since early in the morning, and the singing and socializing had lasted until

after

nine

.

My brother, David, had spoken with a girl he’d had his eye on for months now, Daisy, and she had agreed to see him the Sunday after next. Having successfully acquired a potential special friend, he grinned from ear to ear; his glee would not be restrained. I scowled at him mockingly, amused by his behavior. His quest for a wife could begin in earnest now, since he had been baptized. He appeared to be wasting

little

time

.

While Ruth and Anna sang, Jacob humming along, David leaned towards me, asking, "And how was your evening? I thought I saw Michael Esch drive off with Beth Beiler, but who can be sure. It was rather dark,

wasn’t

it

?"

I shoved him. "

Stop

it

."

Unperturbed, he chuckled, "You mustn’t fear, little sister. Jonas Hooley is still without a wife. He’ll gladly offer to

court

you

."

Jonas was one of the least attractive of our acquaintance, and especially dull to talk to. His intelligence had been called into question on more than one occasion. "No,

thank

you

."

To my chagrin, David began to run through a rather long list of bachelors, most of whom I wasn’t remotely interested in. Dat grinned at us from over his shoulder, guiding the horse down the darkened road, while Mam shook

her

head

.

Don’t tease Rebekah so, David, she said. "It’s not nice. She’s going to find a husband soon. I

know

it

."

"Thank

you

,

Mam

."

Ruth and Anna continued to sing the refrains of In The Sweet By and By, filling the air with the pretty melody, as they sang adeptly. Jacob tried his best to remember the words, his face alight with a giant smile. I hummed along, practicing the harmony.

Once we arrived home, chaos ensued, the girls rushing out back for the privy, while Mam put Abe down in his crib. I held a lantern waiting for Ruth to finish her business, standing near the garden with Anna singing in my ear. My younger sister was truly an angel, her voice one of the best in the district and her face as fair as they come. Her beauty transcended the superficial, encompassing her heart and soul, through the kindness and mercy she freely bestowed upon everyone she met. These same qualities I struggled to master, and I failed more often than not, or at least I

thought

so

.

Bedtime was always a jumble of prayers, songs and trips to the outhouse, as someone felt the need—one last time before the lights went out. We knelt around the kitchen table, while Dat read from Christenpflicht, his voice steady and clear, reading in German. He typically read only his favorite passages, but at times there would be something new. The Lord’s Prayer followed this. Molly decided to join us, sitting next to me with her tail twitching behind her. Friendly and loving, the dog’s breath smelled foul. Not understanding we prayed, she wanted to be petted, but she would have

to

wait

.

We left the kitchen after the prayers concluded. Anna and I shared the larger bed, while Ruth slept in the single bed against the wall. I could hear my parent’s talking in the next room, although their voices sounded muffled. Abe cried once during the night, while Molly came and went, her nails scratching against the wood floor. In the morning, Mam shook me awake, well before five, and, although I felt tired, I slid from the bed and dressed quickly, needing to help her in the kitchen. I let my siblings sleep a little longer, but then they would have to milk

the

cows

.

Ruth and Anna went to school, but Jacob, being only five, wasn’t old enough yet. While Mam made breakfast, I watched the baby. Dat had been in the barn, returning to the house to eat, while I brought out the dishes. We had all gathered in the kitchen now, sitting at the table, listening to David read a chapter of scripture. Then we knelt before our chairs, while Dat read from Christenpflict.

He finished by saying, "O Lord God, please watch over us today, and keep us safe from sinful influences such as pride, superstition, and

disobedience

.

Amen

."

Amen, I said, getting to

my

feet

.

We each ate a slice of egg casserole with bread and bacon, Mam having churned butter earlier, which had been kept in the cellar on a block of ice. Dat and David tended to the farm, dressed in barn-door pants and galluses, while Jacob would go out soon to pick Everbearing strawberries in a nearby field. Dozens of chores would keep everyone busy the

entire

day

.

I walked my younger sisters to school most mornings, but today I had been sent on a special errand, bringing several jars of preserves to an elderly lady who lived near the schoolhouse. With this in mind, we hurried to ready ourselves, tying our black bonnets neatly beneath the chin, while my sisters carried lunchboxes, the metal containers swinging at their sides.

To save time, we wandered through the cornfield to the forest, intending to walk on a well-known path that shaved more than ten minutes off the journey. It felt unbearably humid, even at this hour; the storm from the previous afternoon had dampened the ground, our boots sinking into mud nearly to the ankle in places. Little black bugs flew in the air, annoyingly, sometimes hovering overhead.

Anna and Ruth chatted happily, while I gazed at the greenery, the trees not as dense here, because the sun sprinkled light upon the trail. I played in these woods often as a child, exploring the path to the creek and beyond. The forest was vast, the trails thinning, disappearing, and disorienting a casual wanderer. I would not return this way, since I refused to be here alone, fearing what might lie further in the darkness—hiding in the bushes. Far braver than I, David and Dat explored these woods while hunting, but I lacked the courage to linger, only using the trail as a shortcut.

Once through, we emerged onto a neighbor’s farm, following the path towards the schoolhouse, with its whitewashed siding and barren yard. Too many boots over the years had ruined the grass. A black buggy had been left beneath a tree, which belonged to the teacher. I bid my sisters farewell, and they ran off to meet their friends. Several interested faces turned my way, mostly the older boys, who observed my departure with interest. They saw me as a grown, mysterious woman, and it amused me, wondering what they might be thinking.

I arrived at Evelyn Miller’s farm shortly after. A kindly old woman, she had lost her husband a few years earlier. As I approached the house, I noted signs of disrepair: rusting farm equipment, the tilting barn roof, and the weeds that had taken over the gravel driveway. Mam had said Evelyn would be better suited living in a Dawdyhause—a small house attached to another dwelling. Several families came during the month to help with things, but the size of the farm proved challenging.

Do come in and have some tea, my dear, she said after I had arrived. Wisps of gray hair escaped the confines of her

white

kapp

.

I’m in a hurry. I can’t. I’m sorry.

That’s a shame. I don’t have visitors very often.

"I’ll tell Mam, and perhaps we’ll come in a day

or

so

."

That would be kind of you. She smiled, the skin crinkling around her mouth and eyes. "I’ve been rather lonely since my daughter’s husband moved the family to Indiana. I’m considering joining them, but I’d have to sell

the

farm

."

Being without family is a hardship. I gave her the package of preserves. "Here you are. I hope you enjoy them. We canned the strawberries not that

long

ago

."

"They look lovely.

Thank

you

."

Have a good day, Mrs. Miller.

You as well. She peered out the door. It’s so pretty. I might do some work in the garden.

Better do that sooner than later. It’s getting dreadfully hot. I waved to her, as I hastened down the steps.

I avoided the woods on the way home, choosing the longer route, wandering by the roadside. I regretted not staying and having a drink, because the sun seemed to burn through the material on my shoulders. Perspiration lined my forehead, and I yearned for a glass of fresh water.

Several homesteads thrived among the rolling hills. The Stoltzfus farm stretched out for miles, the family owning many acres of fertile soil. All the men worked now, for I glimpsed them in the fields. A buggy passed, and I waved, recognizing the family within. I spied the roof of our house in the distance, although it would be a while before I

reached

it

.

The rattling of wheels slowly came up behind me. To my annoyance, it wasn’t a buggy, but a wagon of hay driven by Daniel Stoltzfus, who, unfortunately, had slowed. My spirits plummeted at this unexpected and unhappy event.

I don’t want to talk

to

him

.

Good morning, Rebekah, he said, his features shaded by a

straw

hat

.

Good morning. I continued walking, not wanting to encourage further conversation, yet this did not prevent him from clucking to the horse, the animal keeping up with my stride.

Oh, do go away. I don’t want to talk

to

you

.

"Might I have

a

word

?"

No. No, you

dreadful

man

.

I won’t ask to court you again, if that’s your worry.

I stared at the dirt beneath my feet, wishing he would

go

away

.

Rebekah.

Something in his tone stopped me, and I chided myself for the weakness. Yes? I faced him then, the wagon grinding to

a

halt

.

You won’t tell me why you loathe me. You deem me unworthy for some reason.

Then your memory is quite short,

isn’t

it

?

I wish you’d tell me why, but I can see you won’t. He reached for something beside him on the wooden bench. "Will you at least accept