Helen Grady

By Kathleen Davies

So many times it has been stated, sticks and stones can break your bones but words can never hurt you.

How wrong can that be? A lot of women know how it feels to be on the recieving end of hurtful demorolising words, and even though we cringe at a raised fist or feel it's force, nothing can compare to years of verbal abuse.

The feeling of self worth over the years wanes to an all time low.

The only light that shines is the faint beam at the end of the tunnel, for most women too much to contemplate.

Helen found that courage with the help of a friend, she reached out amongst the small village that had been home for twenty-six years.

Sometimes unsure if she could carry on, with the endless love of her boys, she found the courage to prevail.

The spiteful words of her mother-in-law cut deep to the bone and freedom would come at a heavy price.

For Helen the light at the end of the tunnel glowed more powerful every day.

When she believed the worst to be over and love was on the horizon, fate dealt another blow.

Helen knew this was one more hurdle to climb and with all the love she possessed she would be free to love again.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kathleen Davies
• Release date: Jul 4, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386478027

Kathleen Davies

Born in the village of Standish, Wigan Lancashire, raised 3 sons. Worked as a carer for many years. Now I have the opportunity to achieve my dream of becoming a published author. Thank you all. Kath

Book preview

Acknowledgement

To my partner, Alan for all is help, and patients during the many hours I have spent on my computer, and, to the many hours, he has listened while I have read a chapter or two and waited for his approval. Love you.

To my family and friends, who support me, bless you all.

And most of all to Viv for editing my book. I owe you big time.

Table of contents

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER ELEVEN

HELEN GRADY

CHAPTER ONE

Annie watched; as her daughter made her way through the gate, manoeuvring the pram in the direction of the small village to the stone terraced cottage on Talbot Street.

It broke Annie’s heart to witness the sorrow in those dark eyes; God knows she didn’t deserve this; the constant accusations and the controlling way in which Jimmy mistreated her, he, had reduced her girl to an anxious wreck.

Annie had never cared for Jimmy; she remembered the way he and his crony’s used to stand to snigger, every time she got up to sing on a Saturday night at the local.

But there again she used to believe it was probably his generation and the foolish rebellion of the men of his day.

Now she realised he didn’t care who was in the firing line if he got his way.

That mother of his was no different constantly domineering, Annie believed as she waved for the last time before her daughter disappeared down the steep hill.

The panoramic view of the moors that surrounded their small village was breathtakingly beautiful.

Purple heather and yellow gorse covered miles of rough terrain, deep gorges that weaved their way through the harsh landscape. All this stunning countryside yet life seemed so cruel sometimes.

Helen's mother-in-law had even made a list and pinned it on Helen's backdoor, Monday to Friday.

A different job for every day in the week, weekends should be spent repairing her son’s clothes after the hard work he had put in at the mill, she insisted and placing decent food on the table.

Sunday should be a family day though the one thing Helen could have mentioned if she hadn’t been so fearful of her mother-in –law.  Was that she very rarely saw Jimmy at the weekend, for the pub claimed his presence and if the truth was known every night of the week as well.

Helen turned to wave before heading to what surely would be the wrath of her husband. She smiled down into the chubby face of her son; he was the one good thing that had been born out of this Marriage and it warmed her heart just to look at him. Let’s get a move on young fellow she declared, Daddy will be home and mummy’s been gossiping far too long, she was thankful tea was prepared.

Jimmy glared in that way that warned her trouble, was brewing. As she removed the safety harness from young Charlie’s shoulders, she felt relieved that her son had been given his evening meal, and she could concentrate on her husband’s evening meal. She pulled the box of toys from under the stairs to keep her boy occupied, for the slightest murmur these days set her husband off into one of his moods. Potato pie was made ready, and all she had to do was turn on the oven and boil the cabbage, that was already chopped and waiting.

Where have you been again, he asked as he removed his shirt to wash at the kitchen sink. My Mams Helen replied knowing this would create an unwelcome scene. Surprises me she has the time for the likes of you, with all those blokes she entertains, Jimmy muttered splashing cold water on his face.

Helen knew better than to go down that road again; she couldn’t win no matter what she replied on her Mothers behalf. Tying her hair back into a rubber band, she set to and started to prepare tea praying he would let the matter drop.

Later in the evening when Jimmy had gone to the pub and Charlie was safely tucked in his bed, she reminisced the day she had met her husband.

He was a handsome bloke she could grant him that. She fell head over heels, and before she realised what was happening it was too late.

Six months into what she supposed was a kind of relationship, which now she had to admit was more one- sided; she was pregnant and thrilled at the thought of becoming Mrs Jimmy Grady.

Jimmy was always full of confidence and he feared no one. Was that part of the magnetic charm? She wondered, remembering the time he confronted a male friend, what he threatened she was never sure though he reluctantly kept his distance.

Now and again she would catch Jack glancing in her direction when he was sure Jimmy wasn’t around, and though it sometimes unnerved her, she was flattered.

Now she wondered if a terrible mistake was made and if she had truly loved her husband when their vows had been taken.

Helen had loved Jimmy there was no mistaking the way he made her feel, the building excitement she felt when getting ready to meet him.

And the painstaking way every strand of hair was held to perfection, yes; she had loved him but looking back. The way he treated her during those first few months of their relationship should have been a warning.

One night he left her waiting; standing out in the cold until he thought fit to come out of the pub, even his friends had smiled knowing she waited for Jimmy.

Though once he realised she was pregnant he seemed to change, he even turned up to meet her when the afternoon shift ended at the factory where she worked, in the winding shed. Now there were times when she could no longer bare him to touch her, especially after one of the violent rows that seem to become far too frequent.

It seemed a constant battle that drove her to despair; more often than not it was the early hours of the morning before she eventually managed to sleep and by the time Charlie opened his eyes she felt exhausted and weary.

Charlie was two and a half when Helen realised she was pregnant again, and she was delighted at her husband’s enthusiasm, he seemed thrilled at the prospects of becoming a father once more.

This baffled Helen for he had not shown much interest in Charlie, except to complain if he cried during the night, and constantly threatening to take matters into his hands if she didn’t keep in check.

The winter months seemed to drag slowly, Helen growing bigger in size with every passing day. Jimmy gave the impression he was flattered whenever they were seen in public, showering her with attention so totally out of character.

Betty was pleased with his sudden change of character and was delighted that Rachael was asked to babysit every Saturday night, for her friend seemed to blossom, and he even found the money to buy her a new maternity dress.

Betty realised Helen had to be thankful for small mercy’s, for she still seemed to be struggling to put food on the table, for this had become obvious when they shopped at the butchers or the greengrocers, Helen’s pennies only seemed to stretch so far.

This was a side of Jimmy, Helen had never seen before even through her first pregnancy, he had never treated her this way. He had constantly abused her, especially in their bed, digging her hard in the ribs during the night when he wanted her to turn over.

Even though he still went to the pub every night, he treated her with respect often calling at the chippy on a Friday night, when the pub had closed. And his Mother knitted a variety of baby clothes, and occasionally topped her shopping up with tins of soups and beans from her cupboard.

The nine months of the pregnancy drew to an end with only minor confrontations with her husband and mother-in-law. And that only seemed to happen when she had been to her Mams, or if she ever praised her Mam in any way.  To feel loved and wanted was a whole new sensation, and she prayed with all her heart it would stay this way.

In July that year, Joe arrived on the scene. There had been plenty of preparation, for her second child was born at home and with no bathroom and no hot running water it was a large task for the midwife, clean sheets and newspaper had to be on hand, and true to his word Jimmy was present at the birth. Helen glanced down into the tiny features of her son and noticed the strong resemblance he had to his older sibling, even the midwife commented on the similarity.

Charlie was delighted with his new brother, but his Dad soon had him tucked up in bed, so he could wet the baby’s head down at the local. But he returned with griping pains in his stomach less than an hour later, which they both presumed was a result of the tension he felt during her labour.

Just like his older brother a picture of health, and the cutest tiny face she had ever seen, Helen felt fit to burst with pride for these adorable sons of hers as she pushed the pram through the cobbled high street. Friends and neighbours whom she had known since her school days stopped to peek at the new addition, making sure Charlie was always the first to be fussed.

Helen's heart began to race just that little beat faster as she noticed Florence walking towards her, that stern expression; that never seemed to leave her mother-in-law's face seemed more prominent today as she advanced.

Where are you off to? she asked in her no-nonsense manner, Just had a right set to with Lizzie Knight, broadcasting it all over the shop about your mother’s latest fling? She should be ashamed of herself, with a new Grandson only just born,  Helen felt the sudden panic, wondering how best she could defend her mother when she wasn’t sure if there was any truth in the matter or not. Bloody gossips," was the first words that rolled off her tongue before she realised the consequences of her words.

Don’t you talk like that in front of me, young madam, you can’t blame folk for talking, she only has herself to blame. And if I were in your shoes I would keep my distance if you don’t want to be tarred with the same brush.

Helen felt the heavy weight in her chest as she walked up the hill ready to confront her Mam, praying there was no truth in this latest rumour and hating Florence for being so cruel and abrupt.

Annie’s smiling face was there to greet her. Brown curls full of bounce framing her warm features as she pushed the pram through the garden gates, and Annie instantly realised her daughter was not in the best of moods.

Oh, Mam what’s all this about, are you carrying on with some bloke? Helen asked as she lifted Charlie from the bottom of the pram.

"Who’s been gossiping again? Wait let me guess, it’s that Lizzie isn’t it the one that works part time in the greengrocers. And how do I know it’s her? I’ll tell you how, her poor husband was having a bit of a laugh when we were in the pub Saturday night, and her face was like thunder.

He asked me to get up on stage and sing your cheating heart; he did. Then before I could put in the request, out the door he was, you could hear her shouting the other side of the village.

Helen had to laugh as much as she disapproved of some things her Mam got up to; she never had a bad word for anybody. She would make sure Jimmy got hold of the right end of the stick when he came home before his mother could add any more fuel to the fire.

She stayed for the best part of an hour. Laughing and listening to the tales that surrounded her family, her sister Jenny who was three years younger than herself had started courting, and that didn’t go down well with her Dad, not that anything ever went down well with him, only her mam, for her Mam could do no wrong in her Dads eyes.

Jenny was the one, bearing the brunt of her dad’s mean tested ways at the moment, though like Mam pointed out and not for the first time, his treatment of her was nothing compared to the way he treated Helen. Annie shuddered when she thought back, too long hours Helen used to put in at the factory, and at the end of each week handed her wages over unopened only to be offered five-shilling pocket money. The times he had waited till she was dressed and ready to go out. Before demanding the pots and pans still waited in the kitchen sink, and no amount of protest from her would have saved her from the ordeal.

Helen hugged her Mam before making her way down the hill, making sure she was home in plenty of time to make her husband’s tea. And realising she had better tell her Husband the true story before Florence give her penny’s worth.

Helen waited till the children were tucked up in their beds before she approached the subject with Jimmy, trying her best to make light of the whole episode. He was washed and dressed ready for his Friday night at the pub. Appearing very handsome; his white polo neck shirt emphasising his dark hair almost black with the coating of hair cream when she plucked up the courage to speak, he listened taking everything on board, before the expression on his face started to change with every word that was spoken.

With venom in his words, he plunged forward and held his wife’s cheeks in a firm grip, reminding her that his Mothers word was Gospel;  and she had better never forgotten that he fumed pushing her down to the floor with such force she thought she would never rise again.

Helen felt the need to keep busy, her face streaked with dried up tears. She moved all the furniture to the back of the room and scrubbed the carpet till her knuckles bled. Only satisfied when she realised she could do no more. She gave Joe his last bottle of the night and changed him hoping this would keep him comfortable till early morning.

She replaced the furniture and watched T.V. till it was nothing more than a dot on the small screen. She must have fallen asleep, for the next thing she was aware of was the bitter whiff of alcohol and her husband ranting and raving, his face distorted with rage because his socks were wet from the damp carpet.

What the bloody hell were you trying to cover up he yelled, dragging her from the chair, have you had somebody in the minute my back was turned? his temper worse than she had ever witnessed. Trying the best she could to calm the situation had no impact. His fist landed like a tonne of bricks across the top of her arm knocking her back towards the settee before he stormed up the stairs to bed.

Helen sobbed wondering where all this was going to end, after the peaceful months when she was pregnant it had started up again, and she didn’t believe she could take anymore. Quietly she crept up the stairs, thankful when she overheard his heavy snores. She thought of her father- in-law Stan; wondering how it was possible for a family to be so different in nature. Stan was a