Diamonds in the Dumpster: SILVER SISTERS MYSTERIES, #4

By Morgan St. James and Phyllice Bradner

IT'S TROUBLE AT SEAS WHEN Goldie and Godiva's eighty-year old mother Flossie and Uncle Sterling Silver, former Vaudeville magicians, are invited on a relaxing cruise.

Goldie’s husband, Captain Red Pepper, has arranged forthem to sail on his ship, the Aurora Borealis, and mingle with magicians during the Magic on the High Seas cruise. Goldie thinks it’s a great idea and her twin sister, Godiva, sees it as a chance to keep the old folks out of trouble while she spends time with her new boyfriend, Dexter Diamond. 

They even connive to bring Waldo the Wonder Dog along masquerading as a service dog, and it's a good thing they do.

Magic turns to mayhem when one of the star magicians is murdered on board and Uncle Sterling becomes a suspect. The FBI gets involved and soon the whole Silver family is caught up in the search for an international jewel thief. How will the feisty octogenarians get out of hot water this time? When can Goldie Silver return to her quiet antique shop in Juneau? Will advice columnist, Godiva Olivia DuBois, find true love this time around? 

And, what was thrown into the dumpster that made Sterling look very guilty?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Marina Publishing Group
• Release date: Mar 14, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386619666

Morgan St. James

Morgan St. James is an award-winning author with fifteen published books to her credit.  In addition to books she has written on her own, Morgan’s funny crime capers in the comical Silver Sisters Mysteries series are co-authored with her real-life sister, Phyllice Bradner. More information about Morgan and all of her books, can be found on the My Books page on her website. St. James has written over 600 published articles related to writing and frequently presents workshops, appears on author’s panels and radio or TV shows. The columns inspired her book Writers Tricks of the Trade as well as a quarterly online magazine of the same name. She lives in Las Vegas NV with her husband and dog Dylan.

Book preview

What readers are saying about Silver Sisters Mysteries

Like Two Undercover Agents. The 'oldsters' Flossie and Sterling Silver have been treated with a cruise by Flossie's son-in-law who just happens to be the ship's captain. The cruise will, in part, be made up of old and new magicians which fits them perfectly since they too are magicians - on the old side. Sterling has his eye on a turban that is being worn by one of the performers, and believe it or not, ends up with it, in a shady way. What follows is far from what he nor Flossie ever expected.

Martha A. Cheves

More Please. I wish these two ladies would write more Silver Sister books. I can hear the characters speaking as I'm reading, I recently purchased an audio book of theirs to have for our car trips. Their mother and uncle in these books could fit so many different ethnic groups. An Italian mother, or a Greek uncle. I can see so many different folks in these two characters. The twins are so funny. Please keep them coming.

Judy Lake

You Will Enjoy. Cute cozy mystery. A read that was enjoyable and light. Easy to identify and like the characters and move right along with the story. Always good for a laugh also. Pick this one up and you're sure to finish it.

Sandra Walker

A Delightful Main Dish. A wonderful, fun read. St. James and Bradner do well by the humor and the settings are cleverly portrayed. The Silver Sisters make an engaging duo. You can feel their chemistry woven into the text. Exploring the cutthroat kitchens of the uber-chefs unfolded realistically. I look forward to reading the next of the Sisters' mysteries.

William F. Wales

Delightful Who Done It. I just finished reading A Corpse in The Soup (A Silver Sisters Mystery - Book 1) by Morgan St. James and Phyllice Bradner (also sisters). This is an engaging little who done it. Follow Goldie and Godiva, the Silver Sisters, as they try to clear Godiva's new beau, Chef Caesar Romano, of murder. Get a behind the scenes look at the cutthroat world of televised cooking tournaments. Goldie Silver travels from Juneau, Alaska with her daughter, Chili Pepper to aide her twin sister Godiva Silver DuBois, the local syndicated advice columnist.

As identical twins, they throw confusion into the investigation. The twins also have to deal with two old feisty vaudevillian magicians, their 80 year old mother Flossie and their uncle Sterling. These two over the hill Has-Beens try their hand at undercover work that runs amok. Despite all the subterfuge that takes place between this family, when it comes right down to it, you realize how much they care for and look out for each other. Fast paced with just the right amount of humor. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

Sue Ann Thompson

Hilarious. Absolutely a hilarious read. Murder, madness and mayhem abounds in this novel, not only the characters for the most part have funny names but the authors game them such wonderful personalities, The story was very well written and easy to follow. I know not everyone has the same sort of sense of humor but if you've ever been a fan of Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance (I Love Lucy), Bette Midler in her comedic roles or Estelle Getty (Sofia from The Golden Girls) you should surely enjoy this work.

Diana S. Long

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This is where it all began...

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Email: marinapublishing@gmail

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Blog: silversistersmysteries.blogspot.com

Other Silver Sisters Mysteries

Morgan St. James and Phyllice Bradner

A Corpse in the Soup

Vanishing Act in Vegas

Diamonds in the Dumpster

OTHER BOOKS BY MORGAN ST. JAMES

Betrayed

Confessions of a Cougar

The Mafia Funeral and Other Short Stories

Eight Surefire Signs of a Jewish Mother

Writers Tricks of the Trade

***

OTHER BOOKS WITH CO-AUTHORS

Ripoff (co-author Caroline Rowe)

Bumping Off Fat Vinny (co-author Dennis N. Griffin)

La Bella Mafia –True Story of Bella Capo (Co-Author Dennis N. Griffin)

Incest, Murder and a Miracle: The True Story Behind the Cheryl Pierson Murder-For-Hire Headlines (Cheryl and Robert Cuccio

with Morgan St. James)

Can We Come In and Laugh, Too? (Rosetta Schwartz

with Morgan St. James)

~CHAPTER 1~

Eighty-one year old Flossie Silver poked the front page of Magic Moments Monthly with her bony finger and held it up for her daughter Godiva and brother-in-law Sterling to see.

Just look at this!

The headline, "Sheik’s Assistant Sizzles in Macabre Mishap," jumped off the page. Right next to the horrific story was a photograph of a smiling magician accompanied by a beautiful Asian girl wearing a skimpy harem costume.

Sterling Silver put down his fork and leaned across the kitchen table to reach for the newspaper. Let me see that.

The elderly man adjusted his reading glasses and studied the image of Sheik Ali Kazaam, elegantly dressed in cape and turban. He shook his head and handed the paper back to Flossie. She passed it over to her daughter, then turned back to Sterling.

"Oy vey, did you read the part about how his poor assistant, Pearl Woo, was accidentally electrocuted during a rehearsal? It happened at the Chateau Magique in Vancouver. Didn’t we do our act there one time?"

Sterling nodded solemnly and speared a slice of bright green avocado.

The two retired vaudeville magicians ate breakfast in Godiva Olivia DuBois’ large airy kitchen every day at nine o’clock. It had become a morning ritual. Many years before, after Godiva’s millionaire husband dropped dead in Las Vegas, her uncle Sterling moved into the gardener’s cottage on her Beverly Hills estate. Not long after that, her mother Flossie sold the pink stucco bungalow where Godiva and her twin sister Goldie grew up, and moved into the little guest house behind the mansion.

Godiva’s recent career as a syndicated advice columnist kept her very busy, so she enjoyed spending a little time with her mother and uncle on mornings when she woke up early enough. But that morning the discussion about a beautiful young woman dying during a magic act was anything but enjoyable.

She looked up from the last bite of her omelet and stared at the newspaper. What did you say, Mom? Electrocuted? How could that happen during a magic act?

Well, it says Sheik Ali Kazaam uses lots of electrical gadgets in his act. Oh, my poor Harry wouldn’t have liked that! The old woman’s eyes got a little misty when she mentioned her late husband, one of the three great Harrys of the bygone era of magic.

Sterling grabbed the tabloid newspaper out of his niece’s hand and scanned the story again. Humph! It’s just a bunch of flimflam these days. Young upstarts adulterating good magic with electric gizmos and geegaws. Terrible things like this wouldn’t happen if they stuck to good old fashioned sabers and smoke cookies.

"Anybody wants more huevos rancheros? Godiva’s cook Martina slipped between them and poured fresh coffee in all the cups. Maybe you, Senor Sterling? You work up good appetite when you grumble like bear."

Sterling smiled at the chubby Mexican woman and shook his head. No thanks, sweetheart, three helpings was enough for me.

"Dios mio! She is very pretty, no?" Martina looked over Sterling’s shoulder at the newspaper picture and made the sign of the cross over her white apron.

"Yes, she was very pretty. I’ve got to hand it to the Sheik, though. What a great costume. I love the turban."

Your uncle, Flossie said. "A poor girl dies and all he notices is the schmaltzy turban her boss is wearing."

Godiva pushed her chair away, got up and brushed the crumbs off her mauve St. Laurent pantsuit. "Well, Mom—Unk, I’m sorry to rush off, but it’s time to write another Ask G.O.D. column. I’ve got a deadline to meet and Angel is waiting for me to sort through a new basket of letters from the lovelorn. My public is calling."

She wiggled her fingers in a gesture of goodbye and hurried out of the kitchen, through the marble foyer, and down the hall to the office in her mahogany paneled library.

~CHAPTER 2~

Goldie’s husband Red Pepper, captain of the cruise ship Aurora Borealis, made it his business to catch a few precious moments with his wife whenever the ship was docked in Juneau. He called as soon as they pulled into port. Although they had been married more than twenty years, she was still as excited to see Red as the day they first met. Goldie left the Silver Spoon Antique Shoppe in the capable hands of her helper Rudy Valentino, as she often did, and headed out the door.

She walked the short distance along Franklin Street to the Twisted Fish restaurant near the cruise ship dock in the heart of downtown Juneau. A light breeze ruffled her hair as she bustled through the door of the restaurant, planning to take full advantage of the rare opportunity to have lunch with her husband during the tourist season.

Seeing that he hadn’t arrived yet, she asked the hostess to seat her in a booth near a window and ordered their favorite dishes. Moments later his broad six-foot-two frame filled the doorway. As he made his way to the booth she couldn’t help thinking how handsome he was in full uniform with his thick red hair, generous mustache and twinkling eyes.

The air was tinged with mouth-watering aromas wafting from the succulent meals just delivered to the booth behind them.

Hey, Goldie Girl. He bent and kissed her square on the lips, then slid into the booth. I don’t have a lot of time, so let’s order right away.

Don’t worry. I know what you like and already ordered Baked Salmon in puff pastry. Is that okay?

Sure is. We offer a salmon-filled pastry on the ship, but it’s never as good as the one here at the Twisted Fish.

She smiled sweetly. Honey, this is so nice. I love it when we get a chance to spend an hour or so, just you and me. She looked around the crowded restaurant. Well, you, me and about sixty tourists.

Red looked lovingly at his wife, her face framed with lustrous silver hair, and gave her a big boyish smile. I have a wonderful idea to share with you, Hon. Remember I mentioned the big group cruise at the end of the month?

She tapped her index finger against her chin, a habit she’d had since she was child. Um, let me see. Big group? Oh yeah, five days, Vancouver to LA, wasn’t it?

He nodded vigorously. That’s the one. Until the other day I didn’t have the group name. Their travel agent just booked the block of cabins under the title MHS Cruise Group. Well, guess what? I found out this week that it’s a bunch of magicians and MHS stands for Magic on the High Seas."

Really? Wow!

Yup, there’s probably two hundred performers plus spouses and companions. I’m guessing close to three hundred people. I don’t have all the details yet, but from what I could tell, it’s a big tribute to magic or something.

Goldie’s eyes narrowed. And you’re excited about that because—? 

Because when I learned it was a magicians’ group, I checked with booking and guess what? Two of the A class cabins—you know those deluxe ones—cancelled yesterday, which means there are two suites open for the cruise. It’s so close to departure time I didn’t think our reservations people would be able to fill the spots, so I asked them to hold both suites and I want to offer them to your mom and uncle as a gift.

Goldie was touched by her husband’s thoughtfulness. Oh, Red, that’s such a nice idea. But, you know Uncle Sterling refuses to fly. How would we get them to Vancouver?

Well, Goldie Girl, here’s the good part. I’ve asked reservations to put a hold on those cabins all the way from L.A. to Juneau and back. Sterling wouldn’t have to fly at all.

But you said the magicians’ cruise was only five days from Vancouver to L.A. If Mom and Unk get on in L.A. and come up to Juneau and back down to Vancouver to meet up with this magic group—whoa! That’s almost a month.

Red’s face had the bright look of an enthusiastic teenager. I know it’s a long time, but I figured Flossie and Sterling would enjoy the relaxing cruise to Juneau, maybe go into port at San Francisco, Seattle and Vancouver on the way up. It’ll be a great vacation for them. And you’ll be able to see them during the day that we’re docked in Juneau.

While the waiter placed the beautifully presented dishes on the table, poured water and made the usual inquiries, Goldie considered Red’s proposition. She took a few bites of the heavenly seafood and finally said, You know, this really is a good idea. I’m sure the oldsters would love rubbing shoulders with all those magicians. They might feel like they’re back in the business. You know—something more than just doing their magic act every Thursday at the Home for Hollywood Has-Beens.

Yes, and they might even see some of their old cronies from the days when they performed with your dad. You know, Goldie Girl, I think it’s great that they kept performing after he died. There aren’t that many eighty-year-old magicians left who can still do an act. What do you say?

Are you sure you’re willing to put up with their crazy antics for almost a month? They can be pretty tedious.

I think I’m quite capable of handling a couple of feisty octogenarians. You know how much I like those two. I’d love to do this for them. Besides, your evil twin, Godiva the Gatekeeper, will probably be happy to be free of the burden.

Don’t be unkind, Red. You know she does a lot for them.

Oh, I’m aware of that. She mentions it often.

Goldie ignored the little dig. Red, you are the sweetest man. I’ll call Mom and Unk tonight and tell them about the cruise.

Red took the last bites of his lunch and glanced at his watch. Whoops, I’ve got to get back to the other lady in my life. My mistress is calling me.

Well, at least I know your mistress is a sexy ship and not another woman.

Captain Red Pepper looked through restaurant’s picture window and admired his ship tied up at the dock outside. He pecked Goldie on the forehead, then handed her some money to pay the check, gave an exaggerated salute and strode out of the restaurant.

~CHAPTER 3~

Promptly at nine the next morning Flossie and Sterling eased themselves into their chairs at Godiva’s kitchen table. Martina, the cook, prepared two plates of French toast dripping with Vermont maple syrup. Guadalupe, who had been with Godiva for so many years she was part of the family, poured fresh coffee.

So what do you think of Red’s offer, Old Girl? A month on the high seas sounds pretty exciting, especially if we’re surrounded by a whole group of magicians on the way back. Maybe we’ll even get asked to do an act.

My son-in-law is a real prince, isn’t he? Flossie cleared her throat, followed by an exaggerated sigh. I even forgive him for keeping my Goldie in Alaska. I certainly thought she would come to her senses and return to L.A. after she left that hippie commune. But not my Goldie. Instead she meets a handsome sea captain and marries into his crazy Juneau family!

You said that like it happened yesterday. Face it. She’s been up north for thirty-two years now. She’s not coming back. So what do you say we hop on that ship and go see her? He picked up his napkin and wiped some maple syrup off his chin.

Well, I’m just not sure. The thing is, I worry about Waldo.

Right on cue Waldo the Wonder Dog padded into the room holding a big red bow in his mouth. He dropped it at her feet, fixed Flossie with a doggie stare and growled Shoooooww?

Sterling shook his head and shrugged. Always amazes me how he knows when it’s Thursday. Just look at him waggin’ his tail.

As though he understood, Waldo’s tail whipped back and forth like a metronome. The old man rubbed the dog’s furry ears. Aren’t you a clever one? Not only sound like you’re talkin’, but you can read the calendar, too. Hold still, Flossie’s gonna put your bow on.

Flossie held him firmly with one hand while she slipped a streamer from the bow under his glittery collar and tied the ends of the ribbons together. Waldo’s costume was now complete. He gave her a warm canine grin and settled down in the corner to wait for them to finish breakfast.

See what I mean? How could we leave him for almost a month? I can just see him walking around the house every Thursday with his bow in his mouth, looking for us. Godiva’s too busy, Angel’s overworked, Martina and Lupe will feed him so many snacks he’ll be too fat to perform. With no one to take him to do the act at the Home for Hollywood Has-Beens, he’ll think his show business days are over. Flossie’s china blue eyes teared up. I know that’s how I’d feel.

Looking more asleep than awake, Godiva padded into the kitchen, tightened the sash on her silk robe and plopped into her chair. Guadalupe was at her elbow in an instant with a mug of gourmet coffee.

After taking a few sips of the steaming brew, Godiva asked, So, why would Waldo feel bad?

"Oy, Totteleh, Goldie called last night while you were out gallivanting with Dexter. She said Red invited us to cruise from Los Angeles to Juneau and back on the Aurora Borealis, first class all the way. There’ll be a big group of magicians traveling from Vancouver to L.A. on the trip back, and he thought we might like to rub shoulders with them. Such a mensch. Not like the bum you married."

Well, I’ll admit, Max was far from perfect. As she gestured around the room, the sun shining through the windows bounced off her eight carat diamond ring. But you’ve gotta admit his millions made up for it.

Humph. You sure aren’t like your sister. But then fancy clothes and racy cars never meant much to her. You’ve always been higher maintenance.

Sterling’s fork clattered on his plate. Alright, Flossie, stop picking on the queen and tell Her Majesty what’s eatin’ at you.

Well, the thing is, we’d be gone for almost a month. I’m a little worried about leaving Waldo for that long.

The old man added, For once I agree with your mother. I’m concerned about Waldo, too. Remember how sad he was the whole time we were in Las Vegas visiting Torch? Sterling dabbed his mouth with his napkin. We’re thinking maybe we should just thank Red for being so thoughtful and take a pass on his offer."

Godiva scrunched her brow and tapped her chin, a trait she shared with her twin sister. Hold on there, Mom, maybe there’s a way to bring Waldo along. It would be a shame to miss out on this nice trip. Red’s the captain, after all. Surely he can pull some strings. Maybe Waldo could be the ship’s mascot or something.

Flossie’s expression brightened. You think he could do that?

Well, I don’t know what the rules are about having dogs on board, but it doesn’t hurt to try. I’ll call Goldie and see if we can devise a plan. You know I usually get what I go after. As Guadalupe set down a plate of French toast, Godiva lifted her cup and inhaled the rich aroma of Blue Mountain coffee mixed with cinnamon.

Sterling took the last few sips from his mug, then stood, folded his napkin neatly and placed it on the table. If there is one thing that starts a morning off right, it’s a cup of Martina’s finest brew. Well, we gotta hit the road. Come on Old Girl. It’s showtime.

Flossie pushed her chair away and, on cue, Waldo jumped up and ran to the back door, tail wagging a mile a minute.

Why don’t you go ahead and call your sister, Godiva? Sterling looked over his shoulder. If you two girls can figure out how to get this hound on board, Flossie and me will be outta your hair for a whole month. Hey, maybe we could disguise him as a First Mate or something.

Don’t you worry, Unk. As you well know, when we set our minds to something we never fail. After all, you were the one who encouraged us to ask for the moon when we were little kids.A light smile lifted the corners of Godiva’s mouth. Sterling could see she liked the idea of sending them on an extended vacation.

***

As soon as the oldsters were on their way, Godiva called Goldie with one mission in mind—getting Waldo on the Aurora Borealis.

Silver Spoon Antiques, if it ain’t old, we ain’t got it. This here’s Rudy speaking.

Hello Rudy, this is Godiva. Is Goldie there?

Well, howdy Lady Godiva. Goldie said it would be you on the phone. I just don’t know how you girls do that flippin’ ESP thing. She’s writin’ up a sale, be with you in a minute.

I’ll wait, I have something important to discuss with her.

"You ain’t gonna drag her into some fool adventure, are ya? It must be important for you to be on the