Ebook424 pages6 hours
Banged-Up Heart: Dancing with Love and Loss
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5
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About this ebook
Banged-Up Heart by Shirley Melis is an intimate and clear-eyed account of finding love late and losing it early—and of the strength it takes to fall madly in love a second time, be forced to relinquish that love too soon, and yet choose to love again. When her husband of thirty years dies suddenly, Shirley Melis is convinced she will never find another man like Joe. Then she meets John, a younger man who tells her during their first conversation that he has lived for many years with a rare but manageable cancer. She is swept off her feet in a whirlwind courtship, and within months, made brave by the early death of a friend's husband, she asks him to marry her! What follows is a year-long odyssey of travel and a growing erotic and creative partnership—until a mysterious bump on John's forehead proves to be one of several tumors in his brain and spine. The nine months that follow are filled with a life-threatening infection, three brain surgeries, radiation, and chemotherapy. Two years and one week after their wedding, John dies at the age of fifty-nine. More than just a love story or a memoir of mourning, Banged-Up Heart comes down solidly on the side of life. It takes you deep inside an ordinary woman, her deeply felt grief butting up against her desire for more than companionship: passion, sexual fulfillment, and self-realization. It bears eloquent witness to the wild trust it takes to fall madly in love and risk profound loss—a second time. Ultimately, it shows that it is possible to dance with a banged-up heart.
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Reviews for Banged-Up Heart
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
5/5
2 ratings1 review
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Living and loving again after a devastating loss is the main theme in Banged-Up Heart. This fast-paced memoir reads like a romance novel only with a powerful universal message for anyone who faces the loss of a beloved spouse, in this case two spouses within a span of four years. The pace slows as she reaches levels of awareness in her grief journey. There is life again after loss. I felt engaged in this story from the first page.Melis’ writing is fluid and vivid with realistic dialogue, believable characters and a well-paced plot that kept me in suspense. The narrative is enriched with layers of introspection that connected me to my own story. Though my story is different in that I left two emotionally abusive marriages and spent years being single-again. But, the specifics don’t matter as much as the underlying message that a willingness to take a risk to love again can lead to a full and satisfying life. Melis showed me how taking a chance on love again and so soon after a loss can indeed yield positive results. The most endearing part of this memoir for me was the author’s courage in living life to the fullest despite the risks. While her outer journey of losing two spouses in a short period of time is compelling, it was her skill in revealing her inner journey where she questions her choices and reflects on her own actions and responses that kept me turning the pages. She showed me how she “stepped out of her cocoon of grief and found joy in just being alive.”Loss is something we all have to face eventually. For those who are engulfed in their own sea of grief, this memoir will offer hope that it is possible to move on. For others, as myself, it offered me a chance to reflect on how I will face my own grief should I lose the love of my life. At the end of the book, she offers a series of questions to further explore her theme which makes it an excellent guide for a book club discussion.A relevant,compelling and thoroughly enjoyable read. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to explore their own relationship to loss and grief, as well as a guide for grief support groups.
Book preview
Banged-Up Heart - Melis
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