Yours to Love (Yours to... Book 1)

By Cathy Jackson

Recovering from a heartbreaking divorce, prominent YouTuber Maximillian Roselle finds himself a single father of two young children. Lonely and in pain, they cling to each other on the island of happiness he has created for them, longing for a wholeness they cannot voice.

When strong-willed, compassionate, and empathetic Ruthie Eden enters their world, hope for that wholeness is born. Her heart bleeds for Max's children and she is compelled to heal three broken hearts.

Slowly and cautiously Max weaves her into the fabric of their lives fearing she will compromise his trust, yet hoping she may be the healing balm his family needs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cathy Jackson
• Release date: Feb 16, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370735365

Cathy Jackson

Stunningly beautiful and staggeringly intelligent mid-western mother of four writing everything from science fiction to generational epic historical dramas and anything in between.

Book preview

Yours to Love

Yours to Love

By Cathy Jackson

Copyright 2017 Cathy Jackson

Smashwords Edition

Edited by Jennifer Harshman, Harshman Services

Cover design by Matthew Jackson, Mad Celt Designs

License Notes

Thank you for purchasing this book. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed in whole or part to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes without the express written permission of the author. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to purchase their own copy from their favorite retailer.

Thank you for your support.

This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places, or events are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to real persons, places or events is unintentional and coincidental.

Acknowledgements

I want to thank GOD. Without Him, this story wouldn’t be. I thank Him for teaching me and leading me every day.

Connor, Ian, Jessa and Joseph, you are all my lights. I am so happy that each of you have been placed in my life. I love you all very much.

Jennifer Harshman of Harshman Services. I cannot express my gratitude. You continue to take a chance on me.

Opal Campbell, Videos by O. Your video graphics are more than I could ever ask for. Thank you for all that you do!

Matthew Jackson, Mad Celt Designs. You take what I imagine as a book cover and make it come to life. I’m thankful for your creativity.

Tammy Payne, Sharon Obelenus Holland, Sallyann Cole, Sydney Leffler Hopke, Jeri Chavis Torrance, Gwen Sargeant. Your insight and sharp eyes have kept me on track.

Authors and Bloggers, your acceptance of who I am and what I write make you all golden in my book. I truly am thankful for each and every one of you.

Reader, this book has been a labor of love that I hope will encourage and inspire you. You are the ones who will make this book more than what I could ever make of it myself.

For Mom…

Chapter 1

Then to the unmarried and the widows I say:

It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.

But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,

for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 Corinthians 7:8–9

Ruthie

Someday, I would need to learn patience.

But today was not that day. Today was the day for spontaneity and, probably, foolishness. Yeah, in the end I would probably regret doing what I was about to do, but that didn’t matter. Just as surely as the sun would rise the next morning, I would do it.

Bending my knees, I wrapped my hand around the toy that had dropped to the ground.

A small sniffle escaped her and I looked to her.

She was a doll with soft brown, almost blonde hair that reminded me of caramel as it slid just over her shoulder when her head turned to me. The warm chestnut colored eyes made contact with mine and stunned me with their beauty. Her oval face was radiant, angelic. The cupid bow mouth was reminiscent of someone else’s I had seen. The person in question eluded me and, as much as I wanted to remember who it was, I gently nudged the nagging feeling aside.

To say I was a terrible judge of children’s ages would be an understatement. I was hideous at it and knew it. But I would say she would be around seven, maybe eight.

Without thinking, I felt my lips curve into a slight smile that I hoped was reassuring. She looked sad and no child should ever be unhappy for any reason.

Here you go, Sweetness. My hands brushed tiny fingers as I handed it back to the little girl who had dropped it.

A quick movement of a person caught my eye and I stood up straight. My eyes came to rest on a man who was taller than I. There were times I disliked being shorter than the average woman, but I wouldn’t let that show.

I straightened my back and brought myself up to the five foot five height I was graced with.

The man’s hand slipped into the little girl’s and I saw him look down to her lovingly. A slightly perturbed look was on his face and I wondered at the duality of the expression.

Her hand clasped his tightly as she peered up at him with a slight smile on her face.

There you are, Baby.

Reigning in my recognition of the man and the realization that the little girl who had dropped her toy was his daughter, I maintained the slight smile. He would not fluster me in person any more than seeing him online did. I wasn’t some simpering girl who was going to fawn over that oh-so-famous man.

At least not in public, anyway.

When his eyes, the exact same color as his daughter’s, found mine, I resisted the urge to run. The thought to make my way into his arms was mentally pushing me toward him. He was charismatic and magnetic, two very dangerous attractions for me.

I would never show what I was feeling. At least outwardly.

She dropped her toy.

No better words could ever be chosen to be the first ones to utter to the man to whom I had an attraction online.

Resisting the urge to flinch, I waited to see if he would respond. He seemed nice enough on his vlog, but was he the same in person?

I saw you pick it up for her. Thank you. His glance to the toy in her hand was brief and those perfect eyes came back to mine. They pinned me in place. I had hold of her hand one moment and then she was gone.

The frustration in his voice was evident, but I wouldn’t ever tell him that. Besides, an overriding love laced his words. He was afraid for his daughter. Although he didn’t say the words, it was clear.

Kids wander. At least that’s what I’m told. My hand came out to shake his and I drew it back. Was I supposed to shake the hand of Maximillian Roselle, the YouTuber with over fourteen million subscribers?

Maybe that was too forward. I brought my hand quickly back to my side. No, no hand shaking.

When I opened my mouth to speak, from around the corner of the room came a crash. I peeked around to see a young boy no older than ten, maybe eleven, picking up the small display that had fallen over. He began sorting the objects and putting them back on the shelf in order. He was meticulous and careful, making sure they were placed back in a row.

When he was finished, he walked to us and stepped up to Maximillian.

Never in a million years would I ever admit to him that I knew the boy was his son. Or that I knew the little girl’s name. Or his.

Nope, that would sound too stalkerish. Best to keep my mouth shut and pretend to be blissfully ignorant.

Sorry, Dad.

Maximillian shook his head, smiling. It’s okay, Son. I was clumsy at your age, too. You must get it from your old man.

Probably.

His son’s grin matched his own perfectly as they looked at one another. Their laughter was the same, too.

Maximillian’s head turned toward me again, his eyes finding mine.

I hadn’t braced myself for the impact of his gaze. Trying not to mentally note, and failing at it, that his eyes were bringing me closer to him, I tried to pick up my feet to step back but found myself unable to do so. I was trapped in his gaze. Say something brilliant. Are you his father?

Maximillian looked to the hand at his side, then back to me. I was ready for him that time. No way was I ever going to be caught off guard again.

Yes, these are my children. He stood towering over me, and took each of his children’s hands. Their smiles were back in place when they turned to me. The three of them made the perfect family.

You are very blessed. I bet you are thankful.

His head turned slightly and he watched me. A few moments of silence reigned and then he nodded his head. I am very grateful for my children.

What was the quizzical look for? Had I said something?

I don’t think I’ve seen you before. The hand holding his son’s slipped out and he reached that hand out to mine. My name is Maximillian Roselle.

No offer of his children’s names.

Ruthie Eden. My hand came out and was enveloped in his.

The hand was slightly rough and toasty. It was a little smaller than mine, but I had always had large hands for a woman. Or at least I thought so. I had always had to wear men’s watches and the delicate rings for women never fit me, as the sizes were too small.

Chocolate and hazelnut wafted from him as I inhaled deeply. It was a subconscious gesture, one I didn’t even realize I was doing until I had done it. The scents were two of my favorites. Combine them with the striking characteristics and features of Maximillian Roselle, and I knew I was in trouble. Trouble I didn’t need, or, to be honest, want in my life.

Maximillian

The woman in front of me was a distraction. One I really didn’t have time for but that I couldn’t ignore. I needed to be at my table getting ready to sign photographs and assorted items for the people who had come to see me.

The venue was small. The comic book store opening was for a friend and I wanted to show my support. I had meant for it to be a quick in and out for Bobby, but my being there had taken on a life of its own. Before we knew it, people had told Bobby that they were looking forward, not only to his store The Haunted Treasure to open but to see . . . me.

I was overwhelmed. So many people had RSVP’d to come to the opening and to see me. Many had even expressed that if I couldn’t make it, then they weren’t coming. That would have meant a loss of business for my friend and I wouldn’t have that. If I could do anything to help Bobby Cowgill, I would. He had been there for me, helping me start my vlog channel and with its upkeep and it was the least I could do for him.

Speaking of helping a friend, the stranger’s hand was still in mine. Her hand felt nice and somehow right in mine. A feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time. One I didn’t need as I already had too many irons in the fire. If I added another one . . . I was afraid of an explosion. I really didn’t have any time for anything else in my life.

Carefully, I reluctantly allowed Ruthie’s hand to fall from mine. It was sad, really, to have that happen, but I needed to get the children settled.

Hefting the portfolio case over my shoulder, I took my children’s hands in mine again. Caroline and Michael were still looking to Ruthie. She was speaking to them again, asking Caroline about the toy in her hand.

Oh, yes. Caroline’s hair, so much like her mother’s, bobbed up and down. She’s my favorite character. Daddy, Michael, and I have seen all of the movies.

Really? And she is your favorite of all of them? Ruthie squatted down to speak to my daughter and for some reason that touched my heart. The woman in front of us wasn’t one to talk down to children but one to converse on their level. It affected me more than either of them would ever know to see someone talking with one of my children that way.

She’s brave and kind. In one of the movies, she sold almost everything she had to help another person. In another one, she helped a different person and almost died. Tears filled her eyes and I saw Ruthie reach into her pocket.

I was always very careful around others when I had my children with me in public, which until not long before that, wasn’t very often. The urge to pull Caroline to me was overwhelming, and I tensed my hand to do just that.

When Ruthie withdrew her hand, I saw it was holding a small pack of tissues. She drew one out and folded it.

Watching her make that small gesture was mesmerizing for some reason and I couldn’t turn my head away from her. After the tissue was folded, she slowly reached out to Caroline. Just before she made contact, she paused.

My breath held as I waited to see what would happen next. There was a tear just hovering on Caroline’s left eyelid. Ruthie was waiting for permission to catch it.

The blink was slow and Caroline leaned forward a little for Ruthie’s tissue. It was a slight action that caused my breath to catch.

A bit of jealousy touched my heart and immediately I knew it was selfish. I let it go as soon as I recognized it. Neither of us really knew that woman, Ruthie, and even though she seemed nice, I wouldn’t let my guard down. Too many people had tried to be close to my children and I wouldn’t let them.

But for some reason Ruthie was different. It was a difference I would have to watch out for. I sensed there wasn’t any danger with her; at least for my children. It was myself I would have to guard against.

As Ruthie brought the tissue back to herself, I noticed the tiny perfect circle of my daughter’s teardrop. It was such a personal thing for a complete stranger to have.

Ruthie’s sea green eyes met mine and a slight smile graced her mouth. Her eyes held no joy, but were damp with moisture. Was she moved by my daughter’s emotion?

The hand that contained the tissue came toward me and I let go of Michael’s hand to take it from her.

You might want to hang on to this. We empaths are known to be quite emotional. Her eyelashes moved up and down. In fact, you might want these. She pressed the tissue pack into my hand on top of the tissue. Her hand didn’t linger on mine but moved away quickly. As I looked up from our hands, I thought I saw a blush.

But that would have been ridiculous. Ruthie had given no indication that she knew me or my children. For that I was grateful. There were more people trying to make a living from YouTube than there were a couple of years before. I know I am one of many. Maybe she didn’t interact with social media as much as most. But in this day and age, almost everyone had a cell phone or device that connected them to everyone else.

Did she know us? The thought niggled at the back of my mind and I pocketed the tissue pack into my jeans. My hand reached for Michael again and I brought the kids closer to me.

Ruthie stood, watching me as she did.

I swallowed, my mouth suddenly going dry. I was someone who made a living vlogging my favorite things and about my life. I was always full of words. I needed a never ending supply to earn a paycheck. But with that woman in front of me, I suddenly had none. She seemed full of them. It was a little intimidating, but I loved a challenge. The challenge made me who I was and I loved rising to conquer what threw me for a loop.

Well, I had better let you all get going. Thank you for the conversation. Her gaze touched Caroline’s eyes again and she smiled. Have fun with your new toy. I know you are going to enjoy it. It came to rest on Michael. You have fun, too. This place is filled with so many treasures and wonders. One never knows what they will find when they go on an adventure. Then her gaze found me. And thank you for the time and conversation. You are a very blessed man. Have a good time. With that, she turned on her heel and disappeared into another room.

I had to mentally shake myself. The feeling I had was much like being visited by someone important and I should note it.

But I had a signing to get to and I needed to set up for it.

Moving forward with the kids, I thought to Michelle. Michelle was my children’s babysitter. She had called that morning saying she was ill. My parents didn’t live in the same town as we did and neither did Michael and Caroline’s maternal grandparents. My friends were all occupied for the day and couldn’t watch my children while I was signing. The kids had come with me a few times for my work outings, but I knew it wasn’t any fun for them. A lot of handshaking, picture taking, fans vying for an opportunity to say Hello, signings, and awkward conversation. That never made for a good time for Caroline or Michael, but they never said anything. As their father, I could tell, but they were always good for me. I was grateful my children were good and accepting of being out with me.

My table was near the front of the store, not far from where Ruthie had stopped to talk with us. As I approached it, Bobby came up to us.

Bobby was sprinting from table to table, making sure we were all getting ready for the opening. He always had a happy grin on his face. If one looked hard enough, they could tell his mind was turning with ideas, which it always was. An entrepreneur, he always had several balls up in the air. Always able to dexterously catch them when they fell, he had become successful in many avenues before he even thought about opening that shop.

People were already lined up around the block to enter the ten thousand square foot store. Bobby had lined the shelves not only with comic books but assorted items from all fandoms and genres. I had no doubt everyone would come in and find something to take home. It was great to see Bobby so happy and successful. We had both started with nothing and built what we did have from the ground up.

Max! Bobby’s hand came out to me and I slipped my hand out of Michael’s to shake the hand of one of my best friends. How are you today?

Good. My hand came back to Michael’s. Thank you for having me here today.

His hand came up and then down in a dismissive gesture. I had to have you here, Max. Most of the people who knew about this event are here for you. I know that. I’m just hoping to catch some sales. He looked to the table we had stepped around. Right at the front. Thought about putting you in the back so people would have to walk through the store. I do have a couple of people in the back doing signings and whatnot, but I wanted you to have the best spot.

I was okay to walk around and speak with everyone.

Nonsense. You know your fans will want more than just a picture. Besides, I have a comfy chair for you and space for the kids. His gaze fell on them then. How are you, Carrie and Mike?

They both ran up to him and hugged him. Bobby had been there for each of the children since they had been born. He had even been there when the whole Ariel situation went down.

Uncle Bobby! Caroline’s beautiful voice rang out and I couldn’t help but smile wider.

Hey, Uncle Bobby. Michael was distracted by the merchandise and his eyes skittered all over the store.

I have a great big area for you guys behind your dad. I’ve set up some bean bag chairs and made sure you both had everything you might need. Speaking of that, if either of you need anything, just let me know. His eyes came back to me. I really appreciate your being here.

I wouldn’t miss it for the world. You know that.

I do. And maybe you can get something great for your vlog later.

I’ll see what I can do.

He looked to the kids again. They were already setting up their things in the space behind me. I was grateful Bobby had been so generous with the amount of space and for thinking of the kids.

See you later, Max. Yell if you need anything. With that, Bobby was on to the next person. He was never one to really stop anywhere long. That was exceptionally beneficial to him.

Are you two good back there? I opened my portfolio bag and began unpacking the items I had brought.

Yeah, we are good, Dad. Michael was helping Caroline with her things. You just do what you love to do.

I really appreciate you both for being such good kids.

Chapter 2

Ruthie

Oh, wow! Was I ever so thankful that Bobby Cowgill allowed me to be there for the grand opening of his business!

When I submitted my request to be included in the limited number of tables available, I didn’t think I would ever be picked. A couple of months later when the reply came back that I was accepted, I could hardly believe it.

I had the faith to believe that if it was God’s will, He would allow it to happen. But actually experiencing the blessing was truly nothing short of a miracle. God would allow in my life what He knew was right and that would bless me, so I believed the event would be a blessing.

There were a few times I had not been given what I had prayed for, and later I found out why it did not happen. It was always for the best, so I couldn’t really be upset. There were moments I was angry with God for not giving me what I wanted, but