Dwarfsploitation

By Chris Watson and Brad Paulson

Dwarfsploitation is an entertaining and educational look into the world of dwarf cinema. From Freaks to Willow, Dwarfsploitaton analyzes a wide variety of both independent and mainstream films, chronicling the number of ways in which little people are exploited. It is a must have for any fan of little people or film itself.

"Dwarfish reviews about dwarf films seems an odd basis for a book, but it's surprisingly entertaining and enlightening and respectful about the little folk. A snappy, unique guide to all films Dwarf."
- Joe R. Lansdale, author of Bubba Ho-Tep

"This book is truly a one-of-a-kind. An inspired idea, and an equally-inspired book. Chris Watson and Brad Paulson have created something special with "Dwarfsploitation". In an age when there seems to be books about every aspect of cinema, these authors have discovered a niche that had yet to be explored. Kudos."
- Andrew J. Rausch, author of Turning Points in Film History

"The first time I went to the Library of Congress to do research on midgets in film, I was directed to a single tattered volume produced by the MGM publicist on "The Wizard of Oz." I was astounded. The literature was virtually non-existent. Later I had a special assignment involving dwarf-tossing, and I sought out any dwarf-tossing trade association that could possibly be of any assistance. Again, my exertions were frustrated. That's why, when I first heard that "Dwarfsploitation" was in the works, I was cautiously hopeful but still ready for a Billy Barty headbutt to the nuts. I'm happy to say that the resulting book is a resource that we've needed for 60 years, and should take up permanent residence on the Ikea children's-room book shelves of anyone shorter than 4-foot-4."
- Joe Bob Briggs, author of Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In

"Brad and Chris's book stands head and shoulders above the run of the mill cinema book types. It makes little people everywhere stand a little."
- James Bryan, director of Don't Go in the Woods

"Paulson and Watson's book is a unique perspective to say the least. We seem to have books on everything these days, so, why not something that is entertaining, informative and celebrates our little friends in cinema." - Robert Davi, actor from License to Kill "It was a short read and I loved it. Don't overlook it!"
- Joe Estevez, actor from Soultaker

"Wow, I'm impressed! This has to be the most comprehensive guide to cinematic dwarves that you'll ever read. Meticulously researched, with hysterically funny yet genuinely fond comments by the authors, running the gamut from dwarfsploitation to 'normal' life. A must-have for any film-fan's library."
- scream queen Brinke Stevens

"A salute to Little People everywhere that belongs on every film aficionado's desk . Horror film makers: A demented dwarf is icing on the cake. I am working one into my next film. I'm the man that discovered both Luis Dejesus and Herve and can say without fear of contradiction what they lacked in height they made up in talent and length."
- Joel M. Reed, director of Bloodsucking Freaks

"Celebrating the little guy, in an easygoing manner that’s both affectionate and amusing."
- bookgasm.com

• Language: English
• Publisher: BearManor Media
• Release date: Oct 5, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370166138

Chris Watson

Chris Watson is an award-winning specialist in the promotion of adaptive skills who founded Endor Learn & Develop in 2002 following a successful career in publishing and higher education. Incurably curious about all aspects of organisational behaviour, his aim is to strengthen relationships in the workplace by sharing straightforward solutions which people can relate to on a personal level.

Book preview

Dwarf Reviews

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988)

Written by Charles McKeown and Terry Gilliam

Directed by Terry Gilliam

Starring John Neville, Sarah Polley, Oliver Reed, Eric Idle, Uma Thurman

Featured dwarf: Jack Purvis

When a performance about Baron Munchausen is being put on, it is interrupted by the Baron himself. He tells the tale of he and a group of misfits saving a city under siege. Of course, a group of misfits doesn’t seem to be complete in cinema without the use of a dwarf (played by Jack Purvis). In this case the dwarf has a special talent of blowing (no, really). When in battle, the dwarf stands off to the side and just blows, knocking over the enemy’s shelter and sending soldiers flying — definitely the highlight of the film. The film is as wild as Terry Gilliam’s other tales but the use of a dwarf certainly adds to the film.

Dwarf stagehand.

Dwarf with sword.

Dwarf with big ears.

Dwarf tattooist.

Dwarf playing cards.

Sweeping dwarf.

Dwarf leads tallie.

Dwarf with cane.

Dwarf can blow over a forest with just one breath.

Dwarf floundering.

Dwarf blows over baddies.

Dwarf falls over.

Dwarf excited and cheering.

Dwarf hugged.

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (2000)

Written by Kenneth Lonergan

Directed by Des McAnuff

Starring Robert De Niro, Rene Russo, Jason Alexander and Piper Perabo

Featured dwarf: Ed Gale

Based upon the popular cartoon series, there is a scene where the President of the United States is meeting with his staff. When discussing how three agents were sent to infiltrate RBTV but disappeared, Randy Quaid’s Cappy von Trapment character says, It’s almost as if there was a mole in the White House. Cut to the President with a mole standing next to him taking notes. The mole is played by dwarf legend Ed Gale, who is wasted here in costume without any lines. He’s not even in all the shots. This one is a waste of time both as a film and as a dwarf watcher.

Dwarf in costume.

Dwarf revealed behind larger objects.

Dwarf with small glasses.

Dwarf takes notes.

Dwarf there and then not.

Alice in Wonderland (1933)

Written by Joseph L. Mankiewicz and William Cameron Menzies

Directed by Norman McLeod

Starring Charlotte Henry, Lillian Harmer, Alison Skipworth

Featured dwarf: Billy Barty

In the best scene of the movie, and a very odd one at that, the legendary little person Billy Barty pops up as a baby that is aggressively being thrown around while being sung a lullaby by someone that looks closer to a character from a McDonald’s commercial. Tossed around madly, we get some close ups of Barty bawling his eyes out before he’s thrown to Alice. Alice ends up taking off with him but when he turns into a pig she quickly sets him loose. This one is just weird enough that it’s worth a look.

Dwarf as baby.

Dwarf tossed around.

Awkward dwarf face close ups crying.

Dwarf tossed.

Turns into a pig.

Alien From L.A. (1988)

Written by Regina Davis, Albert Pyun, and Debra Ricci

Directed by Albert Pyun

Starring Kathy Ireland

Featured dwarf: Deep Roy

When a big boned beauty passes into an alien world, she becomes a hot property. To profit from her, a witch-like woman takes her to Mambino, played by Deep Roy, who is very much like an alien version of the Godfather. Deep Roy only has a few scenes but plays the weirdo character just fine. The movie is considered a horrible movie and I agree with anyone who says this. I would only suggest this film to someone I don’t like.

Dwarf with magnifying glass.

Angry dwarf.

Dwarf in make up.

Dwarf with long eyelashes.

Dwarf laughs maniacally.

Dwarf caresses tallie’s face.

American Drive-In (1985)

Written by David Allen Ball and Krishna Shah

Directed by Krishna Shah

Starring Emily Longstreth, Pat Kirton, Joel Bennett

Featured dwarf: Phil Fondacaro (as H.G. Golas)

Even with her naked, I steal the scene!

American Drive-In (1985) is the story of a handful of misfits who come together at a drive-in. Just as you get bored watching the film, dwarf legend Phil Fondacaro shows up sitting in a vehicle, writing a letter to his agent. He’s apparently half playing himself, as he mentions in the letter that he still gets fan mail from Hard Rock Zombies (1985) — the film they are also playing at the Drive-in — but then goes on to complain that George hired every stinking midget on the West Coast but his agent couldn’t get him in — Fondacaro actually played an Ewok in Return of the Jedi (1983). We then discover his name is Rocky Magellan (and Phil uses the pseudonym H.G. Golas for the REAL movie credit instead of Phil Fondacaro). Why they didn’t just let him play himself, or at least his pseudonym, baffles me.

When Phil’s character comes on screen, the movie cuts back to him going, This is a good movie. This is a really good movie. This is repetitive for a while until a youngster pulls a prank by moving the speaker system to the vehicle of two tallies having sex. As Rocky’s best scene comes on screen, Phil as a Nazi zombie on top of a cow, the moaning of the two tallies having sex is heard.

As if that wasn’t enough insult to our dwarf friend, later on he tries to buy some popcorn. Being a true actor, he finds himself unable to come up with fifty cents. Luckily, an adoring tallie drops him some money.

Rocky disappears again and doesn’t show up much but is in it enough to almost make the movie worth watching. It’s an okay movie made better by the appearance of Phil Fondacaro almost playing himself. While watching himself on screen, Phil says, Thank God every day for my extraordinary talent. So do I.

Dwarf has hard time getting in car.

Dwarf zombie.

Dwarf Nazi.

Dwarf on cow.

Angry dwarf.

American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007)

Written by Erik Lindsay

Directed by Andrew Waller

Starring: Shannon Beckner, Steve Talley, Eugene Levy

Featured dwarf: Jordan Prentice

The American Pie sequel before this, American Pie: The Naked Mile (2006) brilliantly introduced a rival fraternity comprised entirely of dwarves, with the exception of the one tallie they allowed to join due to the fact he was a legacy. One of the film’s main subplots revolved around the feud between Jordan Prentice’s dwarf fraternity and Stifler’s tallie fraternity. The movie blatantly appears to end with the promise of a continuation between the dwarf and tallie rivalry. This was perhaps one of the greatest endings I had ever seen put on film since I was all but promised a sequel with the same returning dwarf fraternity. When it reached that moment in the film I had to fight back a powerful dwarfgasm. And I was expecting an even more explosive dwarfgasm with Beta House as my natural expectation was that the filmmakers would either double the number of dwarves and/or amount of dwarf screen time. Sadly, this never happened.

Instead, we have a completely different plot thrown in which involves the rivalry between a nerd fraternity and a dwarf fraternity and the American Pie series goes back to its generic, straight-to-video, cookie-cutter-plot origins. This sequel would have been great if it would have been a dwarf fraternity, but all they did instead was the reverse of Revenge of the Nerds (1984) with tallies. Without dwarves, there’s just not much to see here. There are a few funny scenes however, and the brilliant Jordan Prentice does appear, doing his best Deep Throat from All the President’s Men (1976) impression as he gives vital information to his former arch nemesis Stifler about how to take down the nerd fraternity. His cameo is a good one and does involve the best visual gag of the film but it’s not nearly enough to recommend for viewing. It is with great sorrow that I say I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to watch another installment of this series. Once they abandoned dwarves, so did my loyalty to the franchise.

Stifler meets tallie and dwarf in trench coat and glasses.

Dwarf positioned in front of tallie.

Dwarf and former arch tallie rival abandon differences to work together and take down a nerd fraternity.

Dwarf seals nerd tallie’s fate with his top secret information.

Tallie bangs dwarf.

Dwarf with flashback hair.

American Pie: The Naked Mile (2006)

Written by Erik Lindsay

Directed by Joe Nussbaum

Starring Steve Talley, Candace Kroslak, Eugene Levy, Jessy Schram, Angel Lewis

Featured dwarf: Jordan Prentice

It’s little person, fucknut!

If you’re familiar with the American Pie series, you know they’re basically sex comedies that use the clichéd device of the main character falling in love as a pass so they can put as many boobs, sex jokes and flying semen gags as possible in the movie. They push the R-rated smut button as far as they can, rivaling the late night Cinemax movies (which were often coined ‘Skinemax’) due to their massive amounts of filth and smut. This installment pushes the sleaze button so far it’s the closest American Pie installment to porn yet. However, there is one other thing that sets it apart from the other sequels… the introduction of a rival dwarf fraternity!

After seeing this movie for the first time I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was ready to watch something completely generic, my finger ready to push the fast forward button. But as I watched, I felt like I had witnessed the most brilliant idea I had ever seen in a movie in quite some time. My hat goes off to both Nussbaum and Lindsay for the introduction of a dwarf fraternity as well as the fact they were smart enough to give them extensive screen time, which is not hard to do since the leader of the dwarf fraternity is played by the extremely talented Jordan Prentice.

The film starts off in traditional American Pie fashion as the lead character gets caught whacking off (a flying semen joke is of course included here). Shamed, he’s given the opportunity to redeem himself when his girlfriend (hot for a tallie) agrees to have sex with him. There is of course a mix up and his deflowering is delayed while he goes to college to visit his greasy cousin. Here, he’s faced with the incredibly tough decision of whether he’s going to bang a hot sorority girl there or wait until he gets back home to bang his girlfriend. Or, perhaps find some way to bang both? Boy, the characters in these American Pie movies have a rough life, don’t they? Fortunately behind this generic, paper thin plot exists the dwarf subplot.

The minute they appear, the magic of dwarves breathes an indescribable new life into the film. After we’re treated to the wonderful visual of an entire football team of dwarves, Stifler explains to his team of tallies that the dwarves are their rivals, their arch nemesis. They compete with the tallie fraternity in everything: girls, sports, you name it. Not only that, but the dwarves have defeated the tallies for the last five years in a row in football. A brutal game ensues where the dwarves give the tallies a run for their money, building up to a wonderful shot where Prentice bursts out of the mud and attacks like some kind of micro version of John Rambo (even though Stallone is fairly dwarfish himself). But the rivalry doesn’t stop there. The dwarves cockblock the tallie fraternity in a bar. One of them even jumps up on a chair to stare a tallie down. Then we’re treated to tallie/dwarf sexual tension, a close up of a sexy female dwarf shaking her booty and the coup de grace: dwarves running naked! This is pure dwarfsploitation but there is a counterbalance since the dwarf fraternities are such collective bad-asses in sports, taking the tallie’s women and trading insults. Once again, dwarfsploitation is under the thin veil of dwarf empowerment. This is a must see for the dwarf appreciator and wisely uses dwarves to distinguish itself from the usual straight-to-video fare. Kudos to the filmmakers!

They’re midgets!

Did I do too much nitrous? A midget fraternity?!

This is where every midget in America wants to be.

I can’t believe we lost to midgets!

That midget quarterback stole my girlfriend last year!

We got cock blocked by some midgets at the bar.

What is this, ‘Enter the Midget?’

We got to get those fucking midgets!

You and the lollipop guild punch like a bunch of five year olds.

Dwarf makes out with hot female dwarf.

Dwarves let tallie in as a legacy.

Dwarf fraternity undefeated for five years.

Dwarf flies through air and tackles tallie.

Dwarf bites tallie’s leg.

Dwarves do a victory line dance.

Dancing dwarf.

Dwarf hangs off tallie’s back as he makes a touch down.

Dwarf comes out of mud like Rambo.

Dwarves cockblock tallies.

Girl calls dwarves cool and sexy.

Dwarf jumps on chair to stare down tallie.

Dwarf disrespects his own girl friend.

Dwarves jump out of van wearing masks and attack Stifler.

Naked dwarves.

Dwarf runs naked mile with bunny ears on head.

Stifler hits on hot dwarf dancing and holding bottle.

Tallie slaps dwarf’s ass.

Dwarf/tallie flirting.

Tallie sex tape of himself and hot female dwarf.

The Angry Red Planet (1960)

Written by Sid Pink, Ib Melchior

Directed by Ib Melchior

Starring Gerald Mohr, Nora Hayden, Les Tremayne, Jack Kruschen

Featured dwarf: Billy Curtis

Once again, cheated with the prospect of seeing dwarves and barely given anything in return. This film, about an expedition to Mars where several stiff-moving, cheesy-looking, puppet-like creatures are shown, makes us wait and wait and wait and then only gives us a glimpse of Curtis in the Martian outfit. And, in classic dwarfsploitation form, we never see his face. If you blink or fast forward, you’re likely to miss it. Watch if you’re a sci-fi enthusiast but don’t even think twice about viewing it if you’re looking for dwarves.

Martian dwarf.

Anguish (1987)

Written by Bigas Luna

Dialogue by Michael Berlin

Directed by Bigas Luna

Starring Michael Lerner, Talia Paul, Angel Jove, Clara Pastor

Featured dwarf: Zelda Rubinstein

See what happens when you disobey mother?

This is an incredibly bizarre movie where the dwarf psychic from Poltergeist (1982), Zelda Rubinstein, has a tallie son (Michael Lerner) whom she’s incredibly maternal with, not to mention controlling. To give you somewhat of an idea of just how incredibly weird this movie is, at the beginning of the film, a pigeon is stuck behind a cupboard. Rubinstein tells her tallie son to get the pigeon out without hurting it. The pigeon stuck in the wall and the tallie trying to get it out and not upset mother makes for an incredibly bizarre and tense scene. When the tallie does manage to get the pigeon out of the wall, the dwarf takes it in her hands and talks to it as if it were her own, much smaller child. She creepily looks at the pigeon and tells it, See what happens when you disobey mother?

Then her tallie son goes to work as an orderly in an optometrist’s office and gets fired for screwing up an uppity rich tallie bitch’s contact lens order. His dwarf mother does not take too kindly to the fact that her tallie son has just been fired. So, for revenge, she hypnotizes her boy into killing people and ripping out their eyeballs to add to her collection. (Yes, it’s an eyeball collecting dwarf!) This is a truly excellent moment for the dwarf-curious since we have basically a spinning dwarf’s head with a spiral ring behind it hypnotizing her tallie son into killing for her. Now, if you’ve never seen a spinning dwarf’s head before, you’re in for a treat with this film. I certainly can’t think of any other movies that have utilized this concept. Plus, beside all of this, the dwarf never really leaves us, even when she’s not onscreen! Her disembodied voice follows her tallie son wherever he goes when he’s killing people, constantly guiding and giving him proper homicidal instructions. Now what a great, unique way to get more dwarfsploitation in a movie! Add a disembodied dwarf voice! And here’s the clincher: all of what I’ve described is actually a movie within a movie!

The overly maternal dwarf mother to tallie plot is actually part of a movie called The Mommy that people inside of a seedy Los Angeles movie theatre are watching. When it gets to the parts of the dwarf hypnotizing her tallie son into killing, a man who looks like the lizard from the Spider-Man movies (Angel Jove) is hypnotized into killing people in the theatre in ways that mimic the tallie son’s killings in The Mommy. So to recap, we have some very unusual forms of dwarfsploitation being displayed in Anguish (1987). There’s a creepy dwarf, combined with a psycho-esque mother dwarf, combined with dwarf hypnosis, combined with psychotic Manson-style dwarf getting other people to kill for her, combined with dwarf telepathy, combined with dwarf-movie-within-movie telepathy.

Damn, when you think about it, that’s one powerful dwarf! Certainly one I wouldn’t want to mess with! Go towards the light! Whatever you say, creepy-voiced dwarf. The last thing I’d want to do after watching this movie is disappoint mother. Kudos to Spanish director Bigas Luna for giving us forms of dwarfsploitation we never knew existed, combined with one of the most bizarre psychological dwarf horror movies ever made. If you’ve never seen it before, this is certainly one worth checking out.

Knitting dwarf.

Dwarf talks to snail.

High angle shots of dwarf.

Dwarf listens to voices through a seashell.

Dwarf hypnotizes son.

Dwarf gives creepy reactions on phone.

Delusional dwarf.

Psychotically maternal dwarf.

Hypnotist dwarf.

Extreme close-up of dwarf mouth.

Spinning dwarf vision.

ECU — dwarf eyes.

Dwarf communicates telepathically for her tallie son to kill.

Movie within a movie victims hear dwarf voice.

Disembodied, hypnotizing dwarf voice.

Dwarf has powers over people in theatre.

Dwarf has tantrum and knocks over crystal ball.

Dwarf steps on nail and wails.

Dwarf attacked by pigeons.

Ankle Biters (2002)

Written and directed by Adam Minarovich

Starring Adam Minarovich

Featured dwarf: Michael Moore

3 feet tall, two inch fangs

Within the opening four minutes of Ankle Biters (2002), you know you’re in for a classic film. Every camera movement/style that is possible in the world of Micro Cinema is instated during a chase scene between a tallie and a couple of dwarf vampires. There’s nothing more impressive than dwarves scaring the crap out of a tallie wearing a Tool t-shirt. I’m not sure if it’s the fangs that scares him or the horrible gang wear they have on but nonetheless it’s a very entertaining introduction that only gets better as Adam Minarovich shows up with his dwarf sidekick T-Bone, both of which are packing heat. You get everything in these four minutes that you could dream of; dwarves fighting each other, dwarf firing a gun, dwarf jumping off a VERY small ledge…it’s just insanely brilliant. Just brilliant.

As if the opening five minutes, ending with T-Bone in the side car of Minarovich’s motorcycle, wasn’t enough, we get the rest of the movie. Right after the opening credits we get a real treat — the reason behind the title. It seems a couple of wannabe badasses have crossed the country to sell the dwarf vampires a sword in the middle of nowhere on a railroad track. When one of the tallies shoots the black vampire and threatens to do the same to the others, they are both attacked at the ankles. Several gratuitous shots of ankle biting later, we get a tallie jumping off a bridge to escape these dwarf vampires (he ran well too, despite having his ankles gnawed on, so I’m a little confused). All of this in the first ten minutes and this film did not make AFI’s top 100 films list. I’m flabbergasted. Appalled. Outraged. And I’m not done. After all, this is a classic.

Within the next few minutes we are treated to a good ol’ bar fight as Minarovich and his dwarf buddy T-Bone try to figure out what exactly is going on. As soon as the shit hits the fan, T-Bone jumps onto the bar to land a kick in the face of a tallie and moments later he’s sending a bottle crashing on the head of another tallie that was trying to get Minarovich from behind. As if that wasn’t enough, the dwarf punches another tallie and then jumps on the back of yet another tallie while punching him. When finished, the dwarf and Minarovich do some weird high five variation to celebrate. Did I mention this is all within the first fifteen minutes? Brilliant.

As the movie continues, it does get old. Honestly, though, they made it hard to top the first fifteen minutes that are like a dwarfsploitation lover’s wet dream. The rest has some random kills by the vampire dwarves, killing everything from fat guys to mechanics to teens smoking dope. Minarovich and T-Bone become a bickering couple, making one wonder why this dwarf would stick around with such an asshole.

One can complain that the movie is this or that because of its micro budget. The effects are laughable. While a lot of effort was put into the shots and making it bad-ass, they forgot to read the manual on how to use their lenses, giving the shots a circular shape through a large portion of the film. The acting is horrendous. The story is lame at times, with plenty of plot holes, and yet the movie is brilliant. It would not be brilliant if it did not feature so many wonderful dwarves. The movie would not have been made with dwarves had it had a budget. So, we are forced to appreciate what we are given and that is a micro-budget dwarf vampire movie that is like a bastard love poem to dwarves everywhere. Thank you Mr. Minarovich.

Weird dwarf noises.

Dwarf POV.

Dwarf with doo rag and shades taunts tallie.

Camera scales up dwarf’s body.

Dwarf vampires chew on tallie.

Referred to as shorty.

Dwarf with gun.

Eddie Murphy-looking dwarf fights tallie.

Close up of dwarf hand firing gun.

Dwarf leaps off foot tall ledge.

Two dwarves fight.

Slow motion close-up of feet walking.

Dwarf in side car.

Redneck dwarves buy sword on train tracks.

Dwarf shot by greedy tallie.

Dwarves bite ankles.

Close-up of dwarf head.

Dwarf leaps onto barstool.

Dwarf stands on bar to kick tallie.

Dwarf hits tallie on head with bottle.

Dwarf celebrates beating up tallies.

Referred to as shorty.

Vampire dwarves gnaw on fatty asking for money.

Slow motion shot of dwarf vampires walking down street.

Dwarf wants tacos.

Dwarf vampires attack mechanic.

Dwarves come out of lockers.

Yeah, I need some help. I need some help right now. There’s some little dwarves attacking my brother with a sword.

Dwarf flips off tallie.

Dwarf punches tallie in crotch.

Dwarves attack police.

Dwarf with bow.

Dwarves stalk teens.

Dwarf slapped and knocked over by hot blonde.

Dwarf drinking.

Dwarf on tallie’s shoulders while spinning a basketball.

Dubbed-over midget laughing.

Dwarf picks up tallie and twirls him around.

Dwarf crotch violence.

Dwarf jumps higher to fight tallie.

Dwarf shot with shotgun.

Dwarf gives large growl.

Dwarf jumps on tallie to bite neck.

Close up of dwarf feet.

Slow motion shot of dwarf running towards camera.

At the Circus (1939)

Written by Irving Brecher

Directed by Edward Buzzell

Starring The Marx Brothers

Featured dwarf: Jerry Maren (as Jerry Marenghi)

Jeff Wilson (played by the singer/actor and not the dwarf actor Kenny Baker) is happy. He finally has the money to pay off the evil Carter the money he owes him so that nothing stands in the way of him marrying the girl of his dreams. It all goes downhill when Carter has Goliath (Nat Pendleton) and Little Professor Atom (played by dwarf legend Jerry Maren) steals the money from him. It’s up to the Marx brothers to solve the mystery and save the day. The movie is overfilled with music numbers that fall flat and only offers a few laughs but is good for a lazy Saturday afternoon. Maren is very childlike at this point despite chomping on a cigar and having a ‘stache. Had he been given more lines this movie might not have been so mediocre. There is one good scene where Maren is being interrogated by the Marx Brothers. Groucho is trying to get Jerry to give a cigar when one brother continuously has a cigar every time Groucho asks Jerry for one and the other sneezes so hard it knocks Jerry’s house apart. The scene is cheesy but funny, and by far the best moment of the whole film.

Cigar-smoking dwarf.

Dwarf shadow.

Thieving dwarf.

Room is labeled tiny house.

Tallies can’t fit into room.

Groucho only shakes with two fingers.

Dwarf picked up and passed around.

Referred to as midget.

Image2

Maren really wants to sock this tallie in the kisser.

Attitude For Destruction (2008)

Written by Jeremiah Campbell

Directed by Ford Austin

Starring Monte Hunter, Simon Burzynski, Jed Rowen, Annmarie Lynn Gracey

Featured dwarf: Mighty Mike Murga

Attitude For Destruction (2008) is about a rock band named Hollywood Roses who get offered a deal under one condition… they get rid of their lead singer, Drake. Naturally, the band kills and buries the poor bastard. Things go most excellent for them until Drake’s girlfriend makes a deal with the Devil for revenge. Director Ford Austin utilizes dwarf actor Mighty Mike Murga very early on by having him show up during a virgin sacrifice. The sacrificial victim is fully nude as the dwarf enters shirtless, covered in blood and carrying a goblet. He approaches the victim’s killer and begs for blood and gore. She obliges and fills the dwarf’s cup. The dwarf goes to town and gets his fill, chowing down on the blood and gore and having a great time with it.

The dwarf’s role in the film certainly didn’t have anything to do with the plot and it seemed to be in there for nothing more than just the weirdness factor of having a dwarf in the film… and I find nothing wrong with that! It’s sheer dwarfsploitation for the sake of dwarfsploitation and at least the dwarf wasn’t wasted in a sci-fi scene where his face is covered up. You’re at least able to see the little guy in all his buff, blood-drenched dwarf glory. It’s simply a more honest approach at dwarfsploitation than other movies who don’t want to admit that’s what they’re actually doing. This film knows dwarves sell and how to market them. On a further note, Attitude for Destruction also contains a unique dwarfsploitation plot device: during the villain’s exposition scene toward the end of the movie, the footage from the earlier dwarf scene is shown to complement the voiceover. This is what I’d like to call maximizing both dwarf screen time and dwarfsploitation. After all, no