Shalia's Diary Book 9

By Tracy St. John

Shalia is at last face to face with her happily-ever-after. Well...maybe. Clans Seot and Aslada vie for her love. Both can give her and her daughter Anrel lives Shalia never dreamed of. Both offer opportunities for career and happiness. Only one can give her what she’s always dreamed of...a mother free of illness.

In her latest adventure, Shalia must juggle her love life and her responsibilities to her mother Eve. Nothing is turning out quite the way she imagined, however. Two clans are determined to have her for their mate, but are they the right men for her? Meanwhile, her mother’s rocky road to recovery is driving her insane. Clashes old and new threaten Shalia’s hopes for the relationships she’s fought so hard for.

What’s a woman to do when the fairytale refuses to offer a happy ending? When it’s Shalia Monroe, anything and everything.

Contains BDSM content.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tracy St. John
• Release date: Oct 7, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370169979

Tracy St. John

Tracy St. John writes bestselling science fiction romances. She lives in Georgia with her husband and son, fending off mosquitos and running away from hurricanes. Before settling in to write fulltime, she worked in video production, both behind and in front of the camera. She was often cast as the gun-toting bad gal, getting handcuffed in the end. She hopes that hot alien cops will intercept those videos and investigate her nefarious schemes. Soon.

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BOOK 9

A Clans of Kalquor Story

Tracy St. John

© copyright September 2016, Tracy St. John

Cover art by Erin Dameron-Hill, © copyright October 2016

This is a work of fiction. All characters, events, and places are of the author’s

imagination and not to be confused with fact. Any resemblance to living persons or

events is merely coincidence.

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October 12

I don’t know which was worse to wake up to this morning: the world’s most incredible hangover or remembering Oses and Betra were gone.

I vaguely recalled Candy sending me ‘home’ to my small quarters in the Matara Complex. She insisted Anrel spend the night with her, which was probably a good thing. It was late in the morning, if not afternoon already, when I woke up.

At least I’d been able to sleep in. Katrina was supposed to start work as the complex’s liaison today. She’d been sucking down the booze as hard as I had. I wondered how she was coping with that. Ugh, worse was her facing her first day without her clan.

Worrying about Katrina and the urge to claim Anrel from Candy helped me not reflect too hard about the huge void in my world and in my heart. It helped me ignore how naked and unprotected I felt without the presence of two particular souls nearby.

I stumbled into the kitchenette where the kindly Kalquorians in charge of the complex had laid in supplies of pain inhibitor. I took a hit and was grateful that the horrendous pain in my head passed. Unfortunately, my stomach was not relieved, and I barely made it into the lavatory to empty out my guts. I hung over the toilet until the nausea passed and wondered what the hell I’d eaten that was colored orange.

No more grief drinking for me. It’s not worth it.

While I was in the bathroom, I figured I might as well shower. The sour tang of old bohut came out of my pores. Gross. I almost heaved again. I dragged my sorry self into the shower. Turned on the warm spray. Hung my head. Cried as if my eyes hadn’t passed oceans of tears the day before.

Once I got out, I felt a little better. Not great, not by a longshot. But no longer sick or drowning in sadness. I might pass for a living human in a year or so.

I even felt normal enough to have a cup of coffee. Clad in a bathrobe, my hand gripping the elixir of life, I commed Candy. I’m awake.

I’m impressed. I thought you’d be in a coma the whole day. Should I bring Anrel, or do you need longer to convalesce?

Bring her. I’m desperate for someone sweet and precious to look at.

Aw, thanks. Anrel is cute too.

It warmed my heart immeasurably to see my baby girl, her adorable face wreathed in a smile when she saw me. I hugged her close and kept from sobbing, though a few tears escaped.

I’m a leaky boat today, I sighed to Candy. Do you have any idea how Katrina is coping?

Barely. She’s trying to hide how bad she feels from her new bosses. Fortunately, she can attribute her agonies to missing her clan.

Tell me something good. Did we ever get around to talking about you and Stidmun last night? I sat on the lounger and tickled Anrel to make her giggle. She was my reason to smile on this first hard morning.

Nope. Candy relaxed on some seating cushions. It was all about you and Katrina. You two needed to mourn.

And you? She had fallen hard for the unclanned Nobek who was stationed near the border of empire space. It was still up in the air as to whether it was silly infatuation or something more awfully serious. Candy was supposed to find a clan, but she had made it clear she wasn’t in any hurry to do so.

Oh, we’re going to try to meet up on Haven in a few weeks. He has a brother working security there.

Candy, I sighed.

Shalia, she sighed back, mocking my maternal tone. I’m meeting with a clan in a few days. I don’t hold out any hopes for that, but I’m going to go through the motions on the off chance I’m being foolish.

Well, at least you’re doing that. I looked at her, trying to detect any reckless impulses. She looked back, her expression amused but far from ridiculous.

Okay. I gave up. I’m the last person in the universe qualified to tell someone else how to live her life. All at once, I felt a huge rush of love for my friend. I was there for her, no matter what. All I care about is that you’re happy. If Stidmun is your path to that, then I’ll support you. Whatever you tell me, I won’t judge. I might bring up facts you don’t care to hear, but I’m in it for your benefit.

Her grin stretched wide. Thanks. I needed to hear that, because I’m pretty sure I’ve found who I want.

I stifled another sigh. Poor girl. All I could do was wish her luck.

It was well after lunch and I was alone with Anrel when the com went off, demanding my attention. When I saw the frequency, I was glad I had decided to slap on some makeup and dress decently. I was still hung over like nobody’s business, but I could fake being normal for Clan Aslada.

Imdiko Meyso’s handsome, muscled self erupted in front of me when I answered the vid enabler. Paging Dr. Gorgeous, bring an emergency injection, ha-ha-ha. Jeez, even feeling the effects of excessive booze doesn’t knock my nymphomaniac libido off. Meyso is delicious. He deserves unrestrained lust.

He beamed at me, less formal than I’ve gotten used to from him. Hello, Shalia. Am I comming at a bad time?

Not at all, but I just put Anrel down for her nap. You can’t moon over her.

Meyso pretended to pout, but he’s too serious to pull it off that well. I hope to see her soon, and in person. Her mother as well. I realize I scheduled our conference about your mother tomorrow, but I had a free hour this evening. I thought you might wish to get it out of the way.

When he said ‘this evening’, I automatically checked the time. Meyso was on another continent and a few hours ahead of me. I can talk now.

Terrific. Let me show you exactly what the two surgeries entail.

Are you going to do both at once? I asked.

It’ll be best for your mother, Meyso assured me. Cleaning out those plaques and protein deposits causing her dementia will take three hours. The scans done on Earth show moderate to severe build-up. Putting in the chemical regulating device to treat her bipolar disorder will go quickly once I have that completed.

He showed me a bunch of visual aids, including the scans of my mom’s brain, a virtual tour of the regulating device implantation procedure, and a simulation of how the brain would begin to respond over the following weeks, months, and year. It was fascinating, but I was cross-eyed with an overload of information before we were halfway through.

Tell me I don’t have to take a test on everything you explained, I begged.

He laughed. It looks overwhelming, doesn’t it? I’ve performed these types of procedures on several occasions, so I swear to you that she’s in good hands.

He was so self-assured that I had to trust him. Okay. Are we still on for you doing this next week?

I’ll be doing a preliminary exam and a number of deep scans. Unless I come across something surprising, late next week is my plan. Meyso considered me and got super serious. Shalia, you should know what to expect once the operation is completed.

I got a bad feeling. What should I expect?

Anything and everything. He offered a comforting smile. Brains are never predictable, because they’re attached to the most unpredictable of all creatures: people.

You’ve got a point there. Spell out what you’re telling me.

It could be Matara Eve wakes and is able to talk and act normally right from the start. It’s more likely she’ll have a few issues as her brain fires back up and adjusts to the changes. She could be groggy for a week or so in that scenario. Then again, she may experience a much longer period to re-acquire her faculties.

Her age and overall health are a consideration too, I opined.

You Earthers have a saying; hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Meyso’s hand moved as if to give me a comforting pat, but he remembered we spoke through vid. He snorted at himself. I wish I could be more reassuring than that.

Honesty is appreciated. I was glad he was being upfront about what lay ahead. When should I come?

I’m not sure. Let me do those deep scans and I’ll get back to you. Once I have the surgery date locked down, plan on being here about two months, and keep that timeframe loose. He threw up his hands. As far as I’m concerned, you could come right away. However, I have to check on Aslada and Jaon’s schedules. Hey, speaking of the rogues— his gaze shifted to one side and he grinned at someone I couldn’t see.

Dramok Aslada and Nobek Jaon stepped into view. Rawr. Hot multiplied by three.

They bowed. Aslada was the first to speak. Hello, Shalia. You look stunning today. Did you have a pleasant visit with your friends?

I ignored the stab of grief, reminded of my long farewell to Oses and Betra. It was wonderful. We took a whirlwind tour of Kalquor and had an incredible vacation.

And Anrel? Where is that sweet child?

Napping, Meyso said in an overly sad tone. He winked at me. We were just discussing Matara Eve’s procedures. I’ve tentatively scheduled them for next week, pending everyone’s schedules and tests.

I’ve managed to shift some of my work for the upcoming month or so, Jaon said. I should be available as long as no emergencies pop up.

I have also lightened my schedule as much as possible, Aslada added cheerfully. We are at your service, Shalia. Name what you need in place before you arrive.

I had a sudden thought. If I could have someone oversee my training while I’m there, that would be wonderful. Physical conditioning, blade work, and fighting.

Jaon’s demeanor shifted. You’re on Kalquor now. Besides, you’ll be with me. There is no reason for you to have to train, particularly in blades and fighting.

He acted offended. Did he think I was insulting his ability to keep me and Anrel safe? Had I run afoul of his macho sensibilities?

Hoping Jaon wasn’t about to start thumping his chest, I tried a diplomatic tone. I feel safe knowing you’ll be there. However, I enjoy training. I prefer to feel confident I can face whatever comes at me. I’d appreciate you finding the best possible instructors while I’m there for my mother and while we get acquainted.

Jaon’s brows drew close together. He couldn’t have been more obvious that he was not on board with my request. He wanted to play protector to my damsel in distress.

My first ladylike reaction was to play nice, but the grownup part of me insisted his ego was not my problem. I was on the verge of pointing out I don’t do the helpless girl bit, not even for a delicious piece of ass. That’s when Aslada stepped in.

Smooth as silk, he said in an easy tone, That’s not a problem. Is it, my Nobek? You’ll be able to secure excellent instructors for Shalia’s continued training while she’s here.

Aslada’s demeanor was casual, his words spoken without effort. Yet I could damn near taste the command in his statement. It wasn’t overt, no definable hint in tone, expression, or posture. But it was there. My hair rose on my head as I sensed it in all its power. It was akin to hearing a distant rumble of thunder, only to have lightning strike inches away.

Jaon wasn’t happy, but he nodded to Aslada. Of course. If it means so much to you, Shalia, I’ll secure the training.

Thank you. I was still watching Aslada. My respect for him had rocketed right off the charts. He had that Dramok thing down to perfection.

We talked about other things, such as what sights they could take me to visit and what entertainments we could enjoy. I have to give Jaon credit; once we dropped the subject of my training, he let it go without any sign he’d been affronted. He was as conscientious and attentive as he’d ever been to me, even asking if he could pick out my soaksuit for relaxing in their lake. His grin was a naughty leer that sent my pulse racing. Wet and wild times are ahead, apparently. Yow.

October 13

This morning I gave a class on baby care to those in charge of the complex’s nursery. Assistant Director Nosdu was on hand as well. He was adorably awkward when he approached me.

Matara Shalia, it’s unethical for my Matara to take advantage of the complex’s amenities now that she is clanned. His sweet face reddened. He pulled his handheld off his belt. Yet she – all of us in my clan – have a lot of questions and worries. I have a vid recording program on my handheld, if you don’t mind?

I restrained the urge to pat him on the head…a difficult proposition since he towered above me. Not a problem, Imdiko. In fact, feel free to give your Matara my contact information. Any questions she has, I’ll be glad to answer as best I can. You can talk to me any time too.

He lit in a smile that would make an angel weep. It was no wonder the other women shamelessly flirted with Nosdu though he was devoted to his Matara. He was too adorable.

With Anrel as my cheerful prop, we went through feeding, napping, diaper changing, and even how to hold an infant. I showed them how important it was that Anrel be allowed to have floor time so she could practice rolling over and pushing up. I fielded a ton of questions to the best of my ability.

Some of the children watched by the staff were still in diapers, but none were younger than toddlers. Anrel was their first infant. Nosdu appeared particularly terrified that he might drop her, but once he had Anrel in his arms, he got the same blissed-out expression Cifa often showed. Had the women of the complex seen Nosdu in that instant, they would have hit the floor in adoring faints. There’s something about a handsome man joyfully cuddling a baby that makes you want to drop an egg.

After that, I went to Katrina’s office. Candy was in there too, yapping with our pal as Katrina entered data into the computer system.

Yay, paperwork, I cheered for her. They wasted no time giving you the exciting tasks.

Katrina snickered and reached for Anrel. You bet. In his delight of handing this drudgery over, Dramok Firef is probably skipping around the complex like a five-year-old with a new doll.

The idea of the older director doing such a thing cracked me up. I have a visual imagination, and it included pink bows in the Firef’s long, graying hair.

How are things? I asked Katrina. Are you holding up okay without your sweethearts?

About as well as can be expected, I suppose. I try to stay busy so I’m not dwelling on missing them. We’re comming every day, so I miss them anyway. She rolled her eyes tiredly. It’s the worst at night. I hate sleeping alone.

I knew what she meant.

Trying to rescue us from too much depression, I turned to Candy. How’s the Stud Man?

Gorgeous, she smirked. Planning for our Haven getaway.

Lust on the farm, I laughed. Have you picked out your sexy overalls yet?

We hung out with Katrina until lunch. Then Anrel and I went back to our quarters. I was about to settle her for a nap when I saw I had a message waiting. It was Betra’s frequency, so I postponed putting the baby down so she could be a part of our conversation.

I was delighted to hear from not just Betra but Oses also on the vid transmission. The part about not being able to touch them hurt like hell, but this is life now.

Hi! I beamed at the pair. How are you?

We’re great. What about you? Betra grinned back. Hi Anrel! How’s my other sweetie?

She squealed at him and held out her arms. That made my stomach lurch. Poor girl wanted her Uncle Betra and couldn’t have him.

We’re okay, I told him, ignoring the stab of hurt. How’s the ship? Back to its former glory?

I doubt that it was ever glorious, but it’s running fine. We have a few upgrades that are nice.

I gazed at the silent Oses. His smile was as gentle as his fierce demeanor would allow it to be. Hey, big guy. Is everything okay with you?

As good as it gets. Such a non-answer, but chatting is not Oses’s strong suit. It was enough to see him.

What have you been up to since we left? Betra asked.

I filled them in on training the childcare staff on how to handle babies, plus the upcoming surgery for