Gerridae: Book 2 in the Going Away Parties Murder Mystery Series

By Kim Marie Coleman

Gerridae is a story about multiple serial killers in New Orleans, Louisiana during January 2014.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Apr 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781483569871

Book preview

Conclusion

Preface

This is a fictional story about imaginary characters in a fictional world. The author did not base any part of any storyline on real people, real relationships, or real events. Although some of the location names in this series exist in real life, the author is not depicting the real world. Every aspect of the Going Away Parties Murder Mystery Series is about understanding the fictional characters.

Chapter 1: Introduction

Now, two serial killers are living in New Orleans. Global Goose is planning to distribute more money on February 10. Tarsier is planning to send anonymous gifts of candy on Valentine’s Day. Nobody knows how to identify these two killers. Everybody believes that many more people will die before the murdering stops. A city known for its parties attracts all types of people…even serial killers.

Chapter 2: Who Are These People?

ROFL

Casual conversations create corporate culture; unconsciously, workforces gravitate towards job candidates who can grow and sustain unspoken standards regarding attitudes, behaviors, and lifestyles that are peculiar to each workplace. Among the eighteen employees of The Vics Mortuary, light-hearted discussions before the beginning of general staff meetings reflect why these coworkers share a bond that is stronger than the rivalries, ideological differences, and petty disputes that separate them. This group usually works seven days a week, hosting parties and participating in religious ceremonies to celebrate the most devastating events in the lives of their clients’ loved ones. With good reason, mortuary policy expressly prohibits video documentation of staff meetings. While Alexandria and Alexander are having a private discussion in Alexandria’s office, the others are engaging each other socially.

Quote of the week, Peter says, tossing a twenty dollar bill onto the conference table.

I’ll bite, Joe says, adding twenty dollars to the pot.

The other fourteen employees also participate.

Go Annie, Lily says. I love this game.

The boy’s father will be attending the boy’s Going Away Party, Annie says.

What’s so strange about that? Peter asks.

Annie says, Both parents attended the funeral. That was a quote from the mistress of the father.

Everybody laughs.

Big Connie says, We might have to split the pot, Annie.

What’s your quote, Big Connie? Eli asks.

This is the most recent version of the last will and testament, Big Connie says. The quote was from the client’s mistress, who came to my office with the wife’s lawyer.

Mark says, All five children of the deceased couple came to my crematory office to tell me that they don’t care what I do with the ashes of their parents.

Someone came to my office to pay the fifty thousand dollars for the client’s spouse to attend a Sodom & Gomorra Party, Maxine says. It was the bachelor neighbor of a man who’s wife died in a suspicious fire.

Death is good business, Clive says with a chuckle.

Martin says, Peter’s still smiling. He offered the bet because he knows that he has the winning quote.

I can’t wait to hear this, Natalee says. Tell us Peter.

It was a knock-knock joke from the wife of the deceased, Peter says. Y’all know I like knock-knock jokes.

Apparently, the wife knew, too, Maxine says.

Peter tells the joke, Knock-knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Been waiting eight months for that mother fucker to die from cancer.

Everybody laughs louder.

Though the concept reeks of commonplace base desires, Zachary says. The presentation through a knock-knock joke surpasses all other submissions this day.

I agree with Zachary, Vanessa says, laughing.

Peter reaches for the money.

Hold on, Peter, Tina says. A widow asked me if I could bring a special aphrodisiac meal for Ricky to the VIP suite during the Going Away Party of her deceased husband, Tina says. Ricky was her German shepherd.

Laughter brings tears to everybody’s eyes.

What’s so funny? Alexandria asks as she and Alexander enter the conference room to begin the general staff meeting.

Ricky uses viagra, Eli says.

In his dog food, Patricia adds.

To have sex with the widow, Gerald says.

"Was Ricky a chihuahua? Alexandria asks, joining the laughter.

Or, a dachshund? Alexander asks.

A wiener-dog for sure! Martin exclaims.

Oh, my goodness! Gerald exclaims. Tina, you have to split the pot with the twins and Martin!

The group requires several minutes for laughter before they can begin the meeting to finalize plans for the memorial celebrations of The Vics.

The meeting begins with standard reports. Annie gives an estimate of total attendance, and she gives a breakdown of the guest list. Big Connie describes the components of increased profits resulting from throwing her birthday party during the memorial celebrations. Clive and Mark assure the group that they will expedite the transition from funeral to cremation for Victor’s body. Eli compares the occasion to a Slingshot Party with a guarantee to produce next-day video surveillance DVDs of the occasion.

During the reports, the group entertains a diversion.

Will this have all the features of a Slingshot Party? Peter asks.

Let me guess, Eli says. Do you want to reserve the Rum Room?

I’ve paid for the video game shooting gallery, Zachary says.

With employee additions to this event, Maxine says, This is turning out to be the highest grossing celebration in mortuary history.

Are the profits as high as one of Eli’s Slingshot parties? Alexander asks.

I’ll never tell, Maxine says.

She is Eli’s accountant.

Thanks, Maxine, Eli says. By the way, the twins should thank me for introducing the Slingshot Party concept for them to use to their advantage.

We all thank you, Mark says. This is going to be one helluva night to remember.

Speaking of nights to remember, Martin says, That party two nights ago was practically an orgy.

Your Pat O’Brien’s beach will never be the same again, Eli, Tina says.

I think you need to get new sand, Maxine says.

The group laughs. They continue the standard reports.

Gerald and Tina give details about the after-party cleanup for all venues. Joe justifies having added security. Lily tells the group how she plans to distribute the Auction Party proceeds. Martin talks about the Sodom & Gomorra Party activities. Maxine gives a financial report. Natalee, Patricia, and Zachary describe human resources management. Peter shows the party’s webpage on the TV monitor, and he describes what will be available the day after the memorials. Vanessa discusses pictures previously distributed showing a model in the lifelike embalming pose that the Back Street client originally requested; she explains that he changed to cremation a few days before he died.

Best porn scene ever on surveillance video from a party, Mark says, throwing twenty dollars on the table.

Everybody accepts the bet. They all queue their submissions from the intranet database for presentation on the big screen TV monitor. Among the eighteen video clips, there are only eleven unique scenes. Some employees pull out their flasks of liquor to enjoy the show. The last video is one that only Eli has seen before this meeting.

While watching, six employees shout different interjections all at once, Whoa! Goddamn! Shit! What the fuck! My goodness! Burning my corneas!

Is it legal to have that in our database? Big Connie asks.

Yes, they all signed waivers, Eli says. It was a competition.

The group takes a break before continuing the meeting.

When the group returns, they discuss logistics for troubleshooting. The HOW-TO Team gives a presentation. There will be half a dozen doctors available to handle medical emergencies. The security staff at each venue has a designated NOPD liaison. Room Service Incorporated is providing ten runners who will go anywhere throughout the metropolitan area for anything that party guests are willing to pay extra to have at the party. There will be a separate reception hall for actual mourners.

Speaking of mourners, Patricia says, throwing a twenty dollar bill onto the table, best crying performance at a funeral.

Again, every employee adds a video to the queue for viewing on the big screen TV monitor. They submit eighteen distinct scenes, none of which have appeared in previous competitions for best crying performance. A larger number of employees drink liquor from flasks while watching the mourners on the screen. At any other mortuary, and perhaps in any other room on the planet, watching videos of crying children and grieving adults would bring tears to the eyes of most spectators. However, a surveillance camera operating in the conference room at this time would reveal something peculiar about the employees of The Vics Mortuary; none of their faces have sad expressions. Some of them look curious. Some of them look bored. Some of them look amused. These coworkers share a bond that is stronger than the rivalries, ideological differences, and petty disputes that separate them: they do not mourn in public, and some of them never mourn at all.

Throughout the state of Louisiana, The Vics Mortuary is famous for its monthly Going Away Parties and elaborate funerals; the employees maintain professional attitudes at all times. Nobody suspects that some of these employees exhibit professionalism as a substitute for real emotions. The citywide grapevine in New Orleans spreads criticisms in hushed tones about the extravagant monthly parties and the unusual lifelike embalming poses for which this mortuary is famous; only a small circle of clients know that the private parties are more extravagant and the less popular lifelike embalming poses are more unusual than those that are widely familiar to the general public. Many people resent these employees for things that the mortuary advertises. Many people envy these employees because of the large profits that the mortuary generates by celebrating the misery of others. Now, as Tarsier embarks upon a campaign of adding serial killing to the secrets of the mortuary, NOPD detectives might be on the verge of exposing these employees for who they really are. It is no small wonder that one cannot easily identify a prime suspect to accuse of poisoning the champagne at the New Year’s Eve party and causing the largest crash in New Orleans history. Every one of the mortuary employees has character traits that create suspicion; however, every one of them has a personality that makes each one likable in some way. The employees of The Vics Mortuary have no enemies…yet.

Gerridae

Tarsier is a Casual Serial Killer working at The Vics Mortuary, which requires each client to sign a multimillion dollar insurance policy naming the mortuary as the beneficiary. Like gerridae—insects that can walk on water—these bloodsuckers charge ten-thousand dollars for the privilege of gaining access to their website. Like orcas—the highly social killer whales—these predators host an extravagant Going Away Party every month after charging each client one-thousand dollars per online visit to change Going Away Party plans. Like sentient cockroaches that know they can survive a nuclear attack, these wealthy, heedless, narcissistic hedonists of The Vics Mortuary believe that they are impervious to the murderous rampage of the Casual Serial Killer who is beginning to terrorize New Orleans. The Vics Mortuary is a unique workplace with unusual workers. Who are these people!!!!!?

Chapter 3: Flashback - Eli’s Story

A talent is not necessarily a skill. The former is merely an ability. The latter is a marketable ability. The difference is one of application. On the one hand, a person with talent can do things, perhaps remarkable things. On the other hand, a person with skills can do things within an organized setting while following policies and procedures. People need skills for employment. Often, people with jobs observe the talents of others and wonder why those others are not putting their talents to better uses. The reason is simple. It relates to the saying about walking a mile in another person’s shoes. The proverbial walk in somebody else’s shoes includes being that person without the benefits of also being oneself. One cannot have only the best parts of both worlds.

Eli was an extroverted, intuitive, logical, and spontaneous young man, and he was impetuous. He was born on November 28, 1988, a Sagittarius. His life pursuit was to enjoy being alive. When he was sixteen-years-old, Eli was popular among the wealthy nerds whose