Nanny Confidential: A Survival Guide

By Naomi Love

Most nanny guides tell you 'how-to' be the perfect nanny with step by step instructions. This guide is different.

Written by a professional nanny with over 25 years experience in various nanny situations around the globe, 'Nanny Confidential' highlights the perks and pitfalls of the nanny profession and provides emotional support to all nannies. Being a nanny is unlike any other job in the world and girls often find themselves in complex situations with the families they work for.

This guide helps nannies achieve better job positions where they experience more of the good, less of the bad and no ugly.
A 'must have' for all nannies.

Find out what happened to the nanny who worked for Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, know what happens when you develop intimate feelings for your boss, learn how nannies around the globe are having their passports taken and being held in slavery and what transpires if you end up suing your employers in court.

A hard-hitting look at what goes on behind closed doors at the nanny industry.

Naomi Love is an advocate for nanny rights and holds a Master of Arts in Creative Writing from the International Institute of Modern Letters at Victoria University.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Naomi Love
• Release date: Jun 4, 2016
• ISBN: 9780473355845

Naomi Love

Naomi Love is a professional nanny with over 25 years experience in various nanny situations around the globe. She holds a Master of Arts degree in Creative Writing from the International Institute of Modern Letters at Victoria University and is an advocate for nanny rights.

Book preview

NANNY CONFIDENTIAL

A SURVIVAL GUIDE

Naomi Love

WESTBOURNE

First Published 2016

by Westbourne

Wellington, New Zealand

[e-mail]

Cover Design by Naomi Love

Cover Illustration by J. Patel

The right of Naomi Love to be identified as the author of this work in terms of Section 96 of the Copyright Act 1994 is hereby asserted.

Copyright © by Naomi Love 2016

All Rights Reserved.

ISBN 978 0 473 35584 5 (Epub)

CONDITIONS OF SALE

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior consent of the publishers.

DISCLAIMER

This publication is designed to provide general information regarding the subject matter covered. However, rules, regulations, laws, advice, practices, and interpretation of same, often change or vary from state to state or country to country particularly with regard to social media communication and childcare practices. Because each situation is different the reader is advised to consult with his/her own advisor regarding that individual’s particular situation. Neither the author, nor the publisher assume any responsibility for any errors or omissions, nor do they represent or warrant that the info, ideas, advice, suggestions, plans or methods of operation contained herein is in all cases true, accurate, appropriate or legal. It is the reader’s responsibility to consult his/her advisor before putting any of the enclosed information, ideas or practices into play. The author and the publisher specifically disclaim any liability resulting from the use or application of the information contained in this book and the information is not intended to serve as legal advice related to individual situations.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This book would not have been possible without the use of facilities at the National Library of New Zealand. A big thank you to my publisher and staff for all their hard work and belief in the message delivered in this manuscript.

A tremendous gratitude goes out to all the nannies in the world who contributed to the formation of this book whether through personal anecdotes or online forums. To all the families I have nannied for, this book would not have happened had I not worked for you. And most importantly, to the wonderful children I have cared for over the years.

My mother, who has always believed in my artistic talent, I love you. And my ever loving octogenarian father who let me read every word aloud to him, expressed an interest in the topic, looked for typos, and kept driving me to complete it. His knowledge of history gave me the grounding for this book and his constant verbal encouragement, Nihil Carborundum Desperandum, which literally translates as ‘Never let the bastards grind you down,’ became the mantra for creating this book. Thanks Dad xox.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Dedication

Nanny Confidential

Introduction

THE GOOD. Chapter One – Perks & Career

THE GOOD. Chapter Two – Family Life

THE GOOD. Chapter Three – Children

THE GOOD. Chapter Four – Agencies & Travel

THE BAD. Chapter Five – Workload

THE BAD. Chapter Six – Family Life & Children

THE BAD. Chapter Seven – Marital Strife

THE BAD. Chapter Eight – Agencies & Travel

THE UGLY. Chapter Nine – Slavery

THE UGLY. Chapter Ten – Rape & Violence.

THE UGLY. Chapter Eleven – Murder

THE UGLY. Chapter Twelve – Court Cases

Afterword

Sources

Anti-Trafficking Organizations

Anti-Trafficking Hotlines

Anti-Trafficking Phrases

Contact

More Titles by Westbourne …

DEDICATION

for Rizana Nafeek

(17 year old Sri Lankan nanny beheaded in Saudi Arabia)

NANNY CONFIDENTIAL

A SURVIVAL GUIDE

 INTRODUCTION 

Being a nanny is unlike any other job in the world. Working in such close intimate proximity to a family, creates a unique environment where you are privy to the inner world of people’s personal character and behavior. Being fast-tracked into the heart of a family presents unique challenges. Most jobs do not require the addition of love as a pre-requisite but the love given to the children within your care makes this one of the most gratifying, complex, and perplexing roles a person can undertake as a profession.

Nannying can at times be an incredibly exciting vocation taking you into places you would normally never gain access to, but it can just as easily become a dangerous and perilous situation where you find your life is in danger.

The aim of this survival guide is to expose The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of the nanny profession. By highlighting the breadth of what this job entails you can go into your next nanny role forewarned and forearmed. This is not a typical guide, where you are told how to be the perfect nanny, or how to please nanny agencies, or how to apply for your next job. It is not a ‘how-to’ guide. What it covers is an overview of the many unique situations nannies, au pairs and mannies face on a daily basis. It encourages you to navigate them confidently so you can become bolder and more efficient in your quest for a better nanny role. Childcare is one of the largest industries in the world yet it remains largely hidden from mainstream view. What goes on behind closed doors is generally not discussed in public. With little, to no nanny support offered in this profession, except from some nanny agencies and online forums, you cannot rely on (non-existent) trade unions or (non-existent) regulation within this industry to get you through. You are mostly on your own to navigate the perils and pitfalls of this work.

My goal, as a professional nanny with over 25 years’ experience in various nanny situations around the globe, is to help you both emotionally and financially seal a better deal for yourself. With any job, you will always have The Good with The Bad, but it is my hope that after reading this guide you will feel more empowered to carve out a role for yourself where you are experiencing more good than bad.

You will find many nanny guide books on the market written from a childcare perspective, an educational standpoint, or from the family’s viewpoint. But this book is different. It is written solely for the welfare of nannies, to help them stay sane in their work. It doesn’t censor the truth and voices what a lot of nannies would love to say. In my time spent as a professional nanny I have learnt one important thing that all nannies should remember:

As a nanny you are in a unique and powerful position.

Powerful? A nanny powerful? Many nannies may not relate to that statement but it is true. And remembering it is the key to helping you get a better position and a fairer deal. As a nanny you get up close and personal with the people you work for seeing the ‘warts and all’ of their daily life and being privy to the complexity of their inner emotional worlds. The parents rely on you more than they will ever let on and yes it is fair to say, they are often envious of the bond you have developed with their children. In a world where nannies are often overworked, underpaid and undervalued it’s time things changed. Considering that most parents balk at the prospect of paying proper rates for childcare, it is up to you as the nanny to take back your power and assert your rights. As a nanny rights advocate I will always support a better deal for nannies. Parents will not change and nanny agencies will not change parent’s expectations unless nannies themselves no longer accept all of their ‘Terms & Conditions’ but begin to stipulate their own.

Truth be told, when you apply for a legitimate advertised nanny job, most families are desperate for someone to look after their children. They needed you yesterday! So use this to your advantage. It is at this starting point where you have the most influence over the parents and an agency to carve out a better role for yourself.

More good. Less bad. And no ugly. That is our goal.

And my wish for you all.

THE GOOD.

Chapter One – Perks & Career

"Now, about my wages."

Mary Poppins

There is no doubt about it, when your nanny job is good it’s very very good and when it’s bad it’s ugly. Let’s face it, the perks of this job can be fantastic. International travel, free accommodation, free food, use of a car, the chance to save most of your pay packet, a sense of belonging to a family, fun with the children as they learn and grow, staying in hotels, and thank you gifts from the parents. In some cases you also gain access into the world of celebrity or royalty working for high-profile clients. These perks are some of the most attractive things about being a nanny.

In my 25+ years’ experience, some of the best job perks I have personally experienced is the ability to earn money in a foreign currency that tripled in value when I returned home through conversion in the exchange rate, having a car to use for work and personal use, having free accommodation in a foreign country with time off to travel in the holidays and budgeting the weekly allowance so I could save 90% of my pay packet.

Not all of the perks of the job are material or financial, many are emotional and some are even physical. I liked how strong my arm muscles got hauling my charge around said one nanny, I’m not stuck behind a desk all day, said another. I get to go regularly to museums, art galleries, café’s, the zoo, parks and aquariums. Where else can I be paid to make crafts, play dress-ups and design forts?

One nanny enjoyed getting her hair brushed by all the children in the household, another liked the fact that she could have baby-time without actually having to give birth herself or deal with any of the commitment involved. Some animal lovers like having access to kittens and puppies which they may not have at home and others have enjoyed access to study whilst on the job. When