Fish-Eyed Men, Fedoras, and Steel-toed Pumps

By Nikki Nelson-Hicks

Nikki Nelson- Hicks' Jake Istenhegyi, the Accidental Detective, returns for a new adventure in the Pro Se Single Shot Signature Series- FISH-EYED MEN, FEDORAS, AND STEEL-TOED PUMPS!

After losing the girl, the key to immortality, and very nearly his life, Jake Istenhegyi is ready for a break. Unfortunately, when you’re the indentured servant to a New Orleans crime madame, the landlord of a gumshoe ghost, and the brother of a flighty immigrant with dreams of celluloid glory, there’s not much chance of finding any breaks. This is made painfully clear when a tough young lady with a killer right cross and a history with Jake’s best friend, Bear Gunn, comes calling, looking for help with a client. The client in question is in a classic rock/hard place situation between his family and the feds, and when your family is as... unusual as the client’s, that only makes things more complicated. Something smells fishy about this case... and it’s not just the odor of the sea coming off of the client.

FISH-EYED MEN, FEDORAS, AND STEEL-TOED PUMPS is the fourth standalone digital single short story in the JAKE ISTENHEGYI, THE ACCIDENTAL DETECTIVE ongoing series, part of Pro Se Productions' Pro Se Single Shot Signature line.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pro Se Press
• Release date: Mar 24, 2016
• ISBN: 9781310611612

Nikki Nelson-Hicks

Nikki Nelson-Hicks has been described by a fellow writer as the unholy lovechild of Flannery O'Connor and H.P. Lovecraft and is burdened with the reputation as a damn good shag. She can be stalked on twitter as Nikcubed or Facebook where she is constantly or you can get more insights into her unfolding neurosis on her blog, www.nikcubed.blogspot.com.

Book preview

JAKE ISTENHEGYI, THE ACCIDENTAL DETECTIVE in:

FISH-EYED MEN, FEDORAS, AND STEEL-TOED PUMPS

(Book 4)

by Nikki Nelson-Hicks

Published by Pro Se Press

Part of the SINGLE SHOTS SIGNATURE line

This book is a work of fiction. All of the characters in this publication are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. No part or whole of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the permission in writing of the publisher.

Copyright © 2016 Nikki Nelson-Hicks

All rights reserved.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Dedication

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Acknowledgments

Nothing is created in a vacuum.

I want to thank David Michael Rose, Nina Fortmeyer, Angela Trumbo, Richard Garrison, Ed Dillon (and originator of the Steel Toed Pump tagline), Joe Carroll, Will Madden, Donna Steinwachs and Mark Jerk Face Steinwachs for taking time to read the first draft and giving me their much appreciated advice and criticisms. Also, Brenna Hicks, for catching sixteen typos that I had missed even after a hundred re-reads. Ugh. Typos are gremlins.

I want to thank Brian Hicks. It was during a game of darts and a bottle of wine that he gave me the kernel from which this story was born. If it doesn’t work, blame him.

Thanks to my editor, Russ Anderson. Editors are the unsung heroes of the publishing world.

And most of my thanks goes to you, Dear Unseen Reader. Thank for going along for the ride. I hope you have as much fun as I did.

Dedication

Many people ask me to kill them in stories but only one person has ever asked me to make her a hero. I dedicate this book to my sister, Melinda Paige Nelson. I hope your alter ego is as bad ass as you dreamed.

Chapter 1

Morning hasn’t cracked across the sky as I stumble back to the Odyssey Shop. I’m covered in blood but, for once, not all of it is mine. I guess it’s a check in the win column, right?

Not that it balances all the checks in the loss column.

I scrape a chair across the patio floor and sit beside the only person in this lousy world who will listen to me without judgement. Not that she has much choice, really.

Giovanna. She is the eldest and only surviving Lombardi sister. If one can call metamorphosing into a statue living. It’s a drawback of the immortality elixir she and her sisters drank once every hundred years. The Vitae Aeternae Sal. The Salt of Eternal Life. It’s the same stuff rushing through my veins. It’s a nice pickup as long as you keep to the schedule. Miss a dose and you end up a planter in some bastard’s patio garden. My beautiful Giovanna. The reminder of my own future fate if I don’t find a new source of the Salt.

I trace the ivy growing along her arms and I leave behind a fat bloody smear across her marble skin. I try to wipe it off with my shirt but, no luck. It is soaked in blood and I turn a small smudge into a full blown crime scene. Sorry, I apologize to the serene, smiling face. You can’t take me anywhere.

Is it tomorrow yet? I ask and wait a moment, more out of courtesy than actually expecting a response. I don’t know the time because I lost my watch. You’re not going to believe this, I lean closer and whisper into her ear, "but a giant fish monster