Shelby's Secret

By JL Gray

Shelby
The things I have seen and lived through give me that superior attitude; that I have that right to do what I please when in all actuality I don't have the legal right to do any of it. Still, if I worried about all the illegal things I've done over the years I wouldn't sleep at night. Is it illegal if I don't get caught? That's how I justify it. I'm not the helpless damsel in distress who needs to be rescued. I can hold my own in this man's world. I am a force to be reckoned with. I chose to use my brains instead of my brawn. I am an enigma. I am an extraordinary creature. I won't apologize for who I am. I am me.
I was raised in a world that sees all the ugliness of what individuals can be. I have not been under a rock living in rainbows and fairy tales. I'm not burying my head in a romance novel only to be kicked on my ass when bad shit happens. Planning ahead for the bad shit so when it happens I land on my feet. That's the way my world works. I wish I could be the soft spoken silly girl who looks at the clouds in the sky and dreams a dream of rainbows and butterflies. I look at the clouds as the enemy. An eye in the sky watching my every move. I'm not the sweet girly girl and that's okay with me.
I know Teacher is the one man that will be capable of shredding me to pieces and relinquishing the power I hold inside of me. That is my fear. I hold so many secrets inside of me that they fight to escape the darkness I have cloaked them in. It is a daily struggle and the burden I bear. It is my penance for the choices I have made and the secrets I have kept. That is mine alone to take on. It is one I will gratefully take on, if it means I stay in control of my world.

Teacher
I was seeing the bigger picture clearer with each passing lesson. I was becoming the man I was supposed to be. Whether the world thought I was good or bad didn't matter to me. My club, the brotherhood, my seeds walking the earth. Their opinions were all that mattered to me. Everybody else could go f*** themselves. Even Shelby could climb into her bubble and pretend that she didn't have a part in all of this. Creating the man I am today was partially because of her actions. I don't know what kind of game she thought she was playing with me, but the days of her calling the shots were almost over. Soon enough she wouldn't be calling any shots. I would. Get ready Shelby, I'm coming home.

• Language: English
• Publisher: JL Gray
• Release date: Mar 18, 2016
• ISBN: 9781311038326

JL Gray

J.L. Gray is the indie author of A Beautiful Girl Series. A native of southern Illinois born and raised; before calling Daytona Beach, FL home for the last nine years. She's the mother of a strong-willed young man and six beautiful dogs. She spends her days bringing her characters to print. Her love of books, writing, and creating has been a lifelong dream that she is happily pursuing. Her personal message to her readers is this:It's not easy investing so much of yourself in a book that may or may not ever see the light of day. Would I do it differently if I could? No! I’m determined to get my characters on the pages and to you the readers. What started out to be something only for me; is now hopefully something for you as well. I love to write and create imaginary characters in my head.My days are filled with working on the books. I hope that you like my stories and please feel free to offer me that constructive criticism. But, most importantly, I hope that I can do for you what my favorite authors have done and continue to do for me.....Offer a brief escape where you can laugh, cry, and enjoy their character's lives hoping and praying everyone lives happily ever after. Above everything else; just sit back and enjoy the journey.

Book preview

The ambers danced in the midnight sky as he inhaled deeply; satisfied by what his destruction caused. He hurt. His pain was real. He wanted him to feel the pain. He wanted her to see what destruction he caused because of her. There was so much to say but this would say it all while not even speaking. His actions were plain and simple. They could not be distorted. Nothing else needed to be said. The gray clouds billowed in the wind. The flames spread like wildfire. He coughed. He couldn't breathe. He was getting high off the intoxication in the night air. Adrenaline coursing through his veins he moved to leave but couldn’t. He was frozen in place by what he had done.

He had to own it.

That was his plan from the beginning.

That was always the plan.

He wasn’t going to hide or deny that it was him. He wanted both of them to know that this was all him; one hundred percent without a doubt.

He may only barely be seventeen but he knew what he was doing. He wouldn’t see the inside of an eight by ten cell. His father, the good sheriff, would not arrest him for this. He may even receive a medal, if he made it out of these fields alive; if he didn’t get caught by the man whose crops he had just set ablaze. He smiled. It felt good to be so bad. He wanted to teach him a lesson.

He may have been a smartass punk growing up, but he was never a thug....until now.

He heard her voice faintly in the distance, she sounded so far away. He turned in the direction of her angelic voice that held such alarm and concern; calling out to him in frantic desperation. He heard the engine of the ATV. He knew it wasn’t a hallucination. He didn’t move. He wasn’t scared, but he also wasn’t running to her. He was done bowing down to her and her bullshit.

She ruined them.

Their love was young (but it was real) and she ruined it.

She appeared between the billows of smoke. She was all alone. He had never seen fear on her pretty little features before. She was the tiniest thing he had ever seen in his short life. No taller than five and a half feet, and a hundred pounds soaking yet, she was fragile. His life size doll; with her long raven hair and deep mesmerizing gray eyes with her long lashes and soft female curves. She was so young and beautiful, her porcelain olive skin soft to the touch. She also had fortitude; more so than any of the guys he grew up with. She didn’t scare easily. She was ballsy; never backing down from anything or anyone. He knew this was due to her family bloodline coursing through her veins. They instilled a value in her that taught her she didn’t need to fear anyone because of the men in her life.

He hated that.

He wanted her to fear.

Maybe if she had fear she wouldn’t put herself in situations that compromised their relationship. She feared no one. He knew her. He knew her so well. (He thought he knew her.) The last couple of years he thought he knew everything about her that he needed to know. He didn’t know her at all. Realization reared its ugly.

She pulled up beside him wearing a thin white tank top, navy blue pajama shorts, and flip flops. She was pleading for him to climb on the ATV.

She wanted to keep him safe.

That was a joke.

He had just placed a bulls-eye on his back. A big red circle was emblazoned on his back or chest. However those people did it. He was now a target. He accepted it. It was a choice he made. He may be young but he wasn’t naïve. He knew what he was getting into. He walked up to the fiery gates of hell ringing the doorbell. Hell he didn’t even ring the doorbell. Nope he kicked the fucking door in and stormed right in as if it was his given right to invade their world. He knew what his statement said. He knew that he was a dead man. He wasn’t scared. The emotion would not conjure to the surface. He refused to buckle. He wasn’t bowing down.

People were scared in this town. They would never cross him. Cadence Simmons wasn’t scared of him. He bowed to no man. Still….she was showing him something he had never seen in her before….fear. Not for herself, no…she was in fear for him. His heart was ripping apart. The creature was shredding it, chewing it up, and scratching it until there was nothing left. He thought there was nothing left of his heart; until he saw her.

She was so fragile looking. She could be broken. He knew it. He didn’t want to do it, but damn it, she needed to feel his pain. She needed to hurt like she hurt him. He pushed her small body back in the seat with his large hand. He was well over six feet and then some; had been for a year. He climbed in front of her as he took off across the fields. He darted flames. He wanted her to hurt internally (not die) and he definitely didn’t want marks on her porcelain olive skin. She held onto him for dear life. He knew it wasn’t because of the fire. She wasn’t scared of the flames. They would escape from this situation.

She was holding onto him because it had been six months since he had touched her. She always clung to him anytime he was near her. He never minded before. He encouraged it over the years. The last six months had been pure torture not touching her, but nothing like her touching him now. This was brutal; painstakingly excruciating. It hurt to have her arms wrapped around his waist, her delicate touch branding him, searing through his skin making his heart explode from the twisted pain. He had to break the contact if even for a brief moment. His skin was scorched from her touch.

He pulled up in the backyard of her brother’s house. She immediately jumped off the ATV; obviously there was no time to waste in her mind. She was pleading with him; her tiny hand pulling on his large one. He shut down the ATV, climbing off, slowing his pace sauntering to her pulling grasp. He was cocky. He was going to let her think she was getting her way. He could give her one last night of delusion. He let her lead him. He knew where she was taking him. He followed her through the French doors leading to her bedroom. Yeah he could give her one last time. He thought back to when he first let her call the shots. He allowed that. He would have let her have anything in the world. She blew his mind. She was a porcelain doll with olive skin on the outside but looks turned out to be deceiving.

Almost two years ago, she had crawled onto his lap in their friend’s garage. A group of young misfits; they had no other interest than to play music and get high. She spent all her time in that garage. She was best friends with two of the band members, David Dyer and Tyler Campbell. Luckiest bastards residing in Mount Caspen, Illinois. The girl was their best friend. The three of them rarely went anywhere unless they were together. He went there because of her. He only wanted her. He had asked around and found out she wasn’t seeing either one of them. But, that garage is where she spent her time. She was a social stoner. He thought he could break her of that bad habit and get her to change up her drug of choice. He wanted to be her only drug of choice.

He hung out in that garage for months watching her intently. She would smile sweetly at him anytime he would hang out. Finally his dreams came true. It was a couple of days after Fourth of July and they were in the garage listening to the band jamming. Out of the blue she crawled onto his lap, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck, her breath softly blowing in his ear asking him to scratch her itch. It was her birthday, she had blown out the candles making a wish, and only he could make that wish come true. He thought he was going to lose his load right then and there.

He scratched her itch and she scratched his. Two virgin lovers learning each other’s bodies every chance they got. It was fumbling, out-of-control lust. He came more than her in the beginning which didn’t seem fair. He didn’t know much, but he knew it was his job to satisfy her. He studied harder than he ever had for any assignment. He was a quick learner. She was eager to please him and let him explore to great satisfaction. They quickly figured each other out. He thought he had physically broken her their first time together. There was so much blood he was finally scared of something. He was scared he had broken his doll. She was embarrassed. Once the fear subsided, he realized it was natural for a girl to bleed her first time. He fell head over heels for his porcelain doll.

She took him in, sucking him into her womanhood, and made him feel normal. She bled for him. She made the choice to give Cadence Jay Simmons that special gift. She wasn’t as fragile as she looked. She was fierce, giving him as good as she got. A whole year and a half he gave it to her good. Kids at school would give him a wide berth when they walked down the halls. The pretty princess and her giant, but she didn’t pay attention to any of it. She had created a bubble in her own little world. If you weren’t in her world you didn’t exist. Cadence was in her world and her world revolved around him. He quickly became her drug of choice. She gave up the grass for him. He was her intoxication turning her need from weed to sex.

Six months ago when she fucked his best friend, it sent him on a downward out-of-control spiral. He was in trouble with the law. The law being his father (the good sheriff). He was turning into a juvenile delinquent. He knew that in a few weeks he was being shipped off. The papers had been signed. He barely graduated from high school, but he did in fact graduate. He was the youngest in his class; able to skip a grade due to his high test scores. He had the mental fortitude to go against the best. School was boring; it was a means to an end. He didn’t care how smart he was. He didn’t want to be a scholar.

His father took him to the recruiter’s office. He threatened to sign him over to Uncle Sam. In three weeks his ass would belong to the Army. His father told him it was for his own good. Cade didn’t give a damn. He was done with his good ole dad. Things got tough, and the good sheriff wanted to ship him off. He couldn’t have his son tainting his family’s good name. His older brother had graduated college, came home, and was working construction. He had a dream of opening his own construction company some day. His oldest sister was a happily married mother and had a respectful job after college with a book company. His other sister was in college, only being two years older than him. But, she was going to be a doctor. It was only Cade who was fucking up the perfect family his father had dreamed of having. The girl he loved broke his heart screwing his best friend. He went off the deep end. Nothing mattered anymore.

His best friend told him about the whole incident apologizing. He was just a guy, like Cade. Shelby had encouraged his behavior. It was all her fault. A week later he lost his best friend in a boating accident. His friend died before Cade had the chance to tell him that he forgave him. It was her fault. Cade was even more pissed at the world. He didn’t believe it was an accident. His porcelain doll’s brother had him killed. He knew it. He couldn’t prove it and that fucking sucked. His girl didn’t try to deny anything. No, she shut down. She pulled away from him. She wouldn’t defend her actions. She erected those walls high enough that nobody could climb over.

He had lost the love of his life; his soul mate. He lost his best friend. He was now losing his family because he was being shipped off because of her. Cade was lost. He was pissed. People had to pay for what happened. Just because he couldn’t prove what happened, didn’t mean it didn’t transpire the way he believed. He wasn’t confused anymore knowing exactly what had to be done.

He didn’t absorb her words. She was talking but he wasn’t listening. She was scared for him. For him! The girl showed no fear for herself, but she was scared for him. He laughed menacingly at her. It tore him apart seeing the fear she held all for him. He didn’t like that look on her face. He never wanted to see it again. He told her as much. He had no control when it came to her. He pulled her to him to soothe the torture he was feeling. He was physically fit so she moved lifeless towards him. He played football, baseball, even basketball. He was an athlete. She climbed up his large frame kissing and hugging him with everything inside of her.

This was it. One final goodbye. He wanted for nothing else at this moment.

He knew her brother was out of town. He waited for the moment he left in order to accomplish his task of sending his message. He wasn’t a coward; he just wanted the message to be understood. Her brother fucked with his world and retribution was now his. He wanted him to desperately feel the out-of-control feeling he had been feeling for six months. Luckily for him, her mother couldn’t be trusted to keep an eye on her daughter, and had left her home alone with her nephew and niece. Georgia Borrelli would never win mother of the year. She had signed Shelby over to her brother when the girl was only twelve years old. Shelby being left alone with a nine year old boy and his seven year old sister wasn’t neglect, but Shelby’s brother may feel differently after tonight’s fiasco.

Cade threw her on the bed climbing on top of her. They were tearing at each other’s clothes. He missed her so much over the last six months. There was no way he could admit that to her. Pushing down the feelings, ignoring they even existed; he smelled her. She smelled so sweet. Lavender was her scent. He stroked his long fingers against her rib cage. She felt good beneath him. He hadn’t touched her in six months but she fit him; like a missing piece. The missing piece with jagged edges that cut him deep. He had a great plan. It would be devastatingly obvious this was his plan, but he would be gone by the time it was discovered. A memory is all it would end up being. He decided it would be a bittersweet memory. He was such a dick, but this was the only way. He fucked over her brother, now he would fuck her over in his own way.

She was the only one he had been with until six months ago. He had always wrapped it with her and in the last six months everyone else. He conquered as many girls in school as he could over the last six months.

Just to hurt her.

She hid her emotions. If she was in pain he never saw it.

He didn’t think she could feel pain. His cocky teenage brain telling him he had ruined her for other guys. His best friend told him as much. She didn’t like it. She didn’t get off. She wasn’t interested. She just laid there like a dead person. She was an active participant with Cade. Wild in bed, even for someone her age. She seemed to love it just as much as him. He couldn’t understand why she even did it with Mick.

Why did she cheat on him with his best friend? He asked, but she didn’t answer. She would have no choice but to confront reality now. She wouldn’t be able to live in her bubble forever.

Consequences have actions, and he was going to teacher her that lesson. It was a valuable lesson she needed to learn.

He spread her thighs apart caressing them gently as he positioned himself at her entrance. He dipped a finger between her folds; she was primed. She was always primed for him. He pushed in halfway very slowly. It had, after all, been six months. She adjusted to his size spurring him with her feet. He pushed in slower until he filled her completely. She was soaking wet. He gave her that. His ego was brimming to the hilt. Her eyes glazed over. She became wetter. He wasn’t worried about diseases. His friend had wrapped it before he fucked her. Her whacked out mother put her on the pill at twelve years old not that it mattered now.

Shelby refused her mother’s fear of what would become of her if she wasn’t protected. She told Cade that secret. He was now going to use that secret to his advantage against her. He was the only one who knew. She had given her virginity away to him at fifteen. That was normal in their hometown. She gave him her virginity, and he gave his to her. They had been meant for each other. They were soul mates. He thought that for so long, but now he knew she hadn’t felt the same way. It was just a game to her.

He took his time with her savoring it to memory. He loved the taste of her. He memorized her body. He memorized every last moment. This would be the last time he would ever feel her touch, taste her; hear her angelic voice. He had to memorize everything that was Shelby Borrelli. He took what she would give. He gave what she would take. He loved her. He would never admit it. He wouldn’t give her that knowledge again. This was it.

She mewed against his thrusts. Biting her bottom lip as his desire for her took over. She would remember this night for the rest of her life. He loved her through the night’s cloak, holding onto what he could. He knew what he was doing. He was taking this one shot that she would never be able to forget him. He was planting that seed knowing she would always remember him. Even when she didn’t want to remember; she would never be able to forget. She would have something to remember him forever.

She would never be alone. She would never be lonely. Tomorrow it was over. He had to let her go. He was overwhelmed with emotion. This hurt worse than anything he ever imagined. He had to let her go.

He held her in his arms. She was draped halfway across his body. Her tiny fingers entwined with the small patch of hair on his chest. He was a boy in a man’s body. He didn’t care. She molded into him. She fit him perfectly. His missing piece. He let her have this. One last time she slept in his arms unaware she would never see him again. He held her closer. This was the last time he would ever hold her again. The pain ached in his chest. It had to be this way. He was a dead man walking. He knew it. She knew it.

If only he could leave a piece of himself she would never be alone. She would have that unconditional love. She would understand why he did it. He reveled in that knowledge as he climbed out of her bed when the dawn of day approached over the horizon. She rolled over on her side sleepily watching him pull his jeans up his long lean legs. Her angelic voice was soft but confident.

He won’t hurt you. You are safe. Shelby’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears.

Don’t matter. My dad’s forcing me to join the Army. Not doing it. Gotta leave town. Cade wouldn’t look at her. He couldn’t.

What do you mean? Shelby sat up covering her chest with the sheet. Cade fought his resistance turning to look at her with a half cocked grin.

Love those tits. Why you covering up a thing of beauty? Shelby scowled.

She was blessed with a B cup. They were small but he seemed to like them. She dropped the sheet knowing Cade loved them. He obviously forgave her for what he thought she had done with his best friend. Cade leaned over Shelby, a small smirk enhancing his features. He was so cocky. She was covered in hickeys. She would freak out when she saw them. She hated hickeys. She didn’t mind being wild in bed but didn’t think anyone else needed to know. She thought they were tacky looking.

One last fuck for old time sake doll. Thanks. Best I ever had. He saw the hurt and confusion etched across her delicate features.

Yeah he gave her that. It pained him but had to be done in his mind. She had to learn a valuable lesson.

Come on Shelby. Sex ain’t love. I used you for sex; just like you used me. Thanks for the fuck doll. He broke her.

His goal had been accomplished by the look on her face.

Cadence Simmons slipped out her bedroom door into the dewy morning. Smoke billowed in the background. He smiled at the destruction he had caused. His heart was hardened. He knew it. Now, Shelby Borrelli knew it. He didn’t give a fuck. In two days he was gone. He didn’t care if he lived or died. He wasn’t scared. He feared no man. He would embrace his new life and become a man to be feared; if he lived long enough to make that come true.

Fear ruled the world.

He was going to conquer that fear. He was going to conquer the ones who lived with fear. He would shed his old self. He just taught Shelby and her brother a valuable lesson. He was no longer a student but the teacher. Class dismissed.

*****

He didn’t give a thought or a care for two days. It had been a long two days visiting friends and family saying his goodbyes. He refused to speak to his father. Shelby, at least, didn’t try to call. It was hard enough dealing with his father. He didn’t need to deal with her on top of it. He was sure the Capozzi reach could infiltrate the military making him a sitting duck. He left the garage solemn after saying his goodbyes to Dyer and Campbell asking them to look out for his girl. He may have pent up rage for her, but it was slowly dying out after the last few weeks. She didn’t even try to reach out which told him she accepted the ending of them.

He wasn’t thinking or paying any attention to his surroundings. If he was; he would have heard the roaring thunder of the bikes getting closer. They swarmed him. An SUV pulled up and two goons; Leo Brown and whatever the other guy’s name was; he thought Bruce, pulled him inside the vehicle speeding off down the road.

Cade sat alone in a cell.

He lost track of the days, the time, everything around him was lost.

This was it.

The reaper was going to make an appearance.

It was like being in prison.

He had a cot with a blanket and a pillow, a toilet, a sink, and a desk. Nothing else in the eight by ten cell. He had been allowed to shower once in the time he was here. He smelled pretty ripe if he admitted it to himself. They fed him three meals a day. This fucking sucked. It might as well be solitary confinement. He looked up when he heard the footsteps.

Perry Capozzi glared at him from the other side of the iron bars. His eyes were black slits. Perry unlocked the cell and stepped inside pulling a folding chair inside the room with him. He studied Cade for a moment taking in the young man’s disheveled appearance but giving none of his own thoughts away. He tried to read Capozzi’s intentions but he had no clue what was to become of him.

Capozzi smiled.

A sinister grin spread across his features.

He opened his mouth to speak and blew Cade away with the words that came out of his mouth.

Chapter One

Teacher

Four Years Later

I breeze through the door of the clubhouse of the Knights MC in Black Castle, Florida. Half naked girls prancing around between my brothers shaking their asses just asking to be pleasured. Naked girls draped over other brothers sitting on couches and chairs. This is a normal scene most nights in the common room at the clubhouse. (At least the four years I've been here.) Four years ago seems like a distant memory reminding me I didn't know half of what I thought I knew. Seventeen years old, just graduated from high school; thinking I was the shit. A smart cocky mother fucker who whizzed through my classes. I thought I was superior. I was; to kids my own age. Compared to other men surrounding me, I fell short in that department. They had lived, done things, experienced life I hadn't even known to taste at that age.

My father, the good sheriff, thought he was going to force me into join the military. He thought wrong. I didn't want to enlist. I wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be free. I wanted to live my own life; if I wasn't killed first. I spent a month in that jail cell in Mount Caspen, Illinois. It was the longest four weeks of my life wondering everyday what was going to happen to me, accepting my fate, and readying for the outcome. I thought I was prepared. I was clueless. I had to bow to the masters of the game I was forced to play. I didn't know shit. I know that now.

The Knights MC in Mount Caspen, Illinois held me prisoner. More like, Perry 'Capo' Capozzi and his thugs held me prisoner. It was a mansion back then. Now it's a clubhouse to the MC. At first I wondered why in the hell they didn't just kill my punk ass when I was originally taken. I learned 'why not' later when Capo paid me a visit in that small box. Capo had a plan. Took him a month to work it out in his head and on paper. Everything had to be in order. He's a smart ruthless mother fucker like that. He leaves nothing to chance. He's a meticulous thinker. It was a toss up (between him and his sister) who was more sinister.

Capo filled me in on what I thought I knew; then he worked me into his plans. Everyone was a pawn on his chess board. He moved the players strategically where it would benefit him best but only to his advantage. Gotta give the man credit for his scruples and balls. Then again, I would have to give Shelby credit too. He taught her what she needed to learn in order to bring men to their knees. Boys were easy prey for her ruthlessness. We were no match for her. The playing field was not level when it came to the two of them.

The plan was simple whether it was his plan or his sister's. Finding out later on it was her plan didn't shock me like it should have. It didn't matter. I didn't have a choice at the time. I followed Capo’s orders and kept my mouth shut just as instructed. After everything I discovered I was eagerly on board. I learned shit that tore me the fuck up. I fucked up royally. That was on me. I acted before getting the facts. That was a hard lesson to learn. Shelby fucked up even more than I had. Capo was protecting his sister which essentially led to him protecting me. He was cleaning up our mess.

Capo played a deadly game with the mafia but dismissed it way too easily; stating it wasn’t my problem. He fucked over so many people I'm surprised he wasn't killed by his actions. It's like nobody wanted to go up against the man for whatever reason. People feared him. I just had to keep my end of the bargain. I agreed. Like a stupid foolish boy who didn’t know any better about the way of the world; I sucked it all up and agreed to my new life. A handshake contract between the two of us (or more like the three of us). Not thinking about the future. I couldn't see that far ahead at that time, but Capo and Shelby could and they did. Capo promised time would fly by in no time at all. Yeah right. I still couldn't see it. The future looked bleak to me.

A week after my incarceration ended I was traveling a safe passage with Capo at my side. Two back packs held my clothes, my motorcycle with pink slip, and two grand to my name were all I had left when I hit the Knights MC in Serenity, Virginia. It was there I met Bully Borrelli, president of that chapter. I was actually surprised I had never met the man before. Shelby's stories of the legend paled in comparison to the man himself.

Bully took no lip. He didn’t mix words. He shot from the hip. He instilled loyalty, fear, and respect. He was a man I felt I could get behind. I didn’t fit into normal society anyway. Neither did these men. It was a perfect match for me even if I didn't know it at the time.

This club was a one-way ticket for me. I would be surrounded by men who would understand me and help mold and shape me into what I would eventually become. I followed Capo's lead speaking very little. I was cautious. He had prepped me for this day. This was his game, and I was just his pawn. I was in awe of this man. In my eyes Capo was my hero. He was a man that earned respect. Respect and fear. I didn't fear him like others did, but I did respect him. I respected him so much that I would follow him to the depths of hell and ask for more. I would do anything for Capo. That's how deep my respect went for the man.

Within days of my arrival, I was introduced to the National President, Chains Castle. He was in town inspecting the factory that provided parts for Knights Steel Horse Choppers. Serenity was one of three factories on the east coast. Brothers had to be talented in the field in order to get a shop, and not every charter was lucky or talented enough to get one. Even fewer were qualified to have a factory.

Capo had timed everything exactly right. Perfectly. Like I said; he thought ahead. He set up the game board. This was his game and we were all just pawns in his game. Nobody was the wiser; except for me.

He had loyalty amongst several brothers inside the club in several chapters. He had a vision that many wanted to follow. He was a leader of men. He could speak with fluidity and conviction. People bought what he sold without blinking an eye. I should have been learning from him, but that wasn't the plan. Capo (always looking at the bigger picture) wanted me trained in the ways of the world by Chains Castle.

At the time I was still being called Cade. I would work hard to no longer be Cadence Jay Simmons. I didn't know who I would become, but I had time to decide. My future was wide open as long as I remained inside the club.

I looked at the motorcycle drawings Chains had been studying stating I could do better. Chains asked me to prove it. Chains would give me an hour to come up with a design. I did better than that and gave him two of the most badass motorcycle designs I could fathom. They were so badass that I dreamed of having them both when I was older. I would build them my damn self if I had the time and money. Chains was impressed (just like Capo knew he would be) when he saw my drawings. I was smart in some areas. A complete irrational idiot in others. I had a lot to learn.

Chains learned I was seventeen and growled over the fact Capo would put him in the middle of some fucked up bullshit. Capo explained I had been emancipated. He gave him my paperwork proving his word. I could come and go as I pleased. Capo sat Chains and Bully down spinning his web of deceit selling my abilities to both of them. Bully gave some push back but Capo dug deep and the smooth talker he was, they ate the shit he was shoveling and asked for seconds.

A week later I was on my bike along with the pink slip in Chains’ wallet headed to Black Castle, Florida following Chains Castle and his brothers to my new home. Chains would pay me for my designs. I would have to earn my keep, earn the pink slip back to my bike by becoming a brother of the MC, and go to mechanical engineering school learning a trade while with the MC. They saw Capo's vision. Chains had been taking the club in a different direction for decades. He was adaptable to the ever changing world. It's not like the old days he stated. Times were changing and the club either changed with the rest of the world or became extinct.

Chains saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. He took me under his wing focusing on me; fine tuning my skills. I was a fast study learning many lessons over the last several years. I enjoyed each and every lesson Chains taught me, embracing my mentor's ways of the world, and his own vision of where he saw the club headed. The lessons I learned made me stronger; mentally and physically. I don't regret any of the lessons over the last four years. Chains was a father, and a damn good one, if you ask me. He didn't bullshit and spoke the hard truth no matter how hard it was to handle at times. It was exactly what I needed.

A year after prospecting my ass off I was christened Teacher along with becoming a full patched brother with the Knights MC of Black Castle, Florida. At nineteen, I was the youngest enforcer the MC had ever had. All of this was hard work. It's not for the weak of heart or stomach. And, I did it all while enrolled in college (full-time no less) keeping my grades above average. It came naturally to me. Call it passion, brains, or whatever you will, but sometimes I didn't even crack a book, and still excelled in school. School was always easy for me and college was no exception.

I'll graduate next year. I had to do this for my club. I had to earn the degree they needed in order to bring the club into more legitimate business practices. That's what they needed from me. It was all part of the original plan. They needed me to be part of the new world the MC was so focused on. The legitimate side of the business. It didn't mean that I didn't get my hands dirty. My hands were covered in blood. So much blood, there was no turning back from it now. I held the club secrets. I held the secrets of the brotherhood. I held the secrets of Capo and his sister. I was in deep and in no hurry to climb out from under any of it. This is the world I embraced at seventeen and accepted it in a way I felt like I had a place I belonged.

My heart blackened the day I left Mount Caspen, Illinois. There was no love lost between me and that godforsaken town or my traitorous father. I never cared to return except for short visits when I had to. Nothing but bittersweet memories were left behind. Looking back over the last four years it was all worth it. It had to be this way. I wondered if the day would ever come when I would be allowed to get my reward for keeping my silence. I wondered if all the broken pieces could be put back together or if they were ruined for eternity.

So far Capo had kept his word and slowly events were falling into place that would lead me to my destination. I didn't know how we were able to keep our secrets intact, but so far none of our enemies had cottoned onto us. If they did know; they didn't call us out on them. Capo was just that good, or he did what he had to do to keep the players in the game from ratting us out. I understood why he did what he did and the decisions he made. Some I even agreed with. Others were hard for me to swallow, but I managed. I was seeing the bigger picture clearer with each passing lesson. I was becoming the man I was supposed to be. Whether the world thought I was good or bad didn't matter to me.

My club, the brotherhood, my seeds walking the earth. Their opinions were all that mattered to me. Everybody else could go fuck themselves. Even Shelby could climb into her bubble and pretend that she didn't have a part in all of this. Creating the man I am today was partially because of her actions. I don't know what kind of game she thought she was playing with me, but the days of her calling the shots were almost over. Soon enough she wouldn't be calling any shots. That brought a smile to my lips or at least a smirk. I shake off the past looking around the clubhouse in the common room taking in my surroundings. It is time to party.

I saunter up to the bar; hand clasped to one of my brother's shoulders engaging in the immediate conversation. I need to unwind. Today was mentally grueling as it always was interrogating subjects. I learned how to compartmentalize over the years just like Chains taught me. I am straight in my head now; unlike years ago. My lesson plan completed for the night. It's time to work off some of the tension I'm holding onto. Looking around the room I take in the scene deciding who will serve my purpose tonight. Two girls looking for a good time with a bad boy are eyeing me like their prey. I can play that part to a tee. They obviously need a lesson in threesome etiquette that only I can provide them.

I nod my head to the doors leading into the back where my room is located in the clubhouse of the MC. They look at each other grinning; one sticks her finger in her mouth playing coy. I'll give them that play too. As long as my dick gets wet and we all get off it is a win-win for me. Hell I lost count of the number of women I fucked over the last four years. All faceless nameless women. It never mattered who they were. None of them were her. None of them compared to her. None ever would. I'm a man and will take what I need and want as long as there's a willing body to participate.

Right now I want to lessen this frustration growing inside of me from my balls turning blue. Fucking these girls will help me pass the time during this charade I am living. I should probably feel guilty, and maybe some day when forced to confront my demons I will, but not now and not today. A part of me feels this is as much her fault as mine. This is part of the pain she has to endure while keeping me away from my family. This is on her. She has no one to blame but herself.

I drape an arm around each girl's shoulders leading them to my room in the clubhouse. I don't have any other place to take them. Since moving here, this has been my home. I don't need anything else. Not wasting money on something I don't need. They each say a name. I'm not trying to learn their names. It doesn't matter to me. Pussy is pussy plain and simple. I have a healthy appetite and other women will have to satisfy me for now. No other woman penetrated my soul like her. No woman ever would. She is my poison I am unable and unwilling to consume. My soul is darker than four years ago, the life I've lived brutal, and it's all her fault. There is no one else to blame.

Shelby Borrelli used us all as pawns in her game too. She learned from the best; her brother. I can't fault her for that. She used me as a pawn and for that I hold her responsible for the hell she put me through. I am patient and bide my time, but soon I will seek retribution on her ass like none other. Nobody will be able to protect Shelby from me.

I sit in my chair in the center of my room watching the two broads play with each other on my bed. They seem to be digging each other putting on a show for me.

I clear my thoughts from the past picking up my bottle of whiskey and chugging it with determination. Fire shooting daggers through my gut as the liquid warms me from the inside out. I feel it. I'm alive.

I'm tired of watching them play. It's time for them to play with me. I slowly shrug off my clothes wrapping my hand around my dick stroking the length back and forth asking the girls if they are ready for me. Two sets of eyes grow as large as saucers.

One smiles licking her lips. The other girl looks a little scared and I have to wonder about the men she had been with before me. What a shame none of them measured up. I'm a little larger than your normal man. I used to think it was a curse until pussy I had came back for more each and every time.

Now I know it's not a curse. I smile devilishly wrapping my fingers in the blonde’s hair and slamming my cock in her mouth. I finger fuck the redhead while the blonde works me over. It's time to get this party started. I'll party with them before leaving them to do their own thing. This is purely physical with no emotional connection for me. These are party girls. They know the drill. They know they won't get anything more than a good time from me.

Chapter Two

Teacher

We gotta have trust with one another. Don't want you to hear it from anybody else but me. Capo took his shot of whiskey and then another. Fuck this must be bad I think to myself.

You pissed her off back in the day. You accused her of slutting it up with your best friend. Shelby Lynn called the shots back then. She had you in that cell for the first two weeks trying to decide how she was going to inflict revenge on your sorry ass for hurting her. I talked her into the plan of using you to her benefit. She loved you; don't get me wrong. She couldn't bring herself to hurt you. It was her idea to have the two of you marry. It was her idea to have you join the Knights. She wasn't thinking clearly rambling off the jist of it. I ran with it. I put everything in motion. Ultimately it was her decisions that decided your fate brother.

What the fuck Capo? My blood was boiling. I was accepting of my fate because I thought I was protecting the three of us by doing what I thought Capo wanted me to do. To find out it was all Shelby pissed me right the fuck off. I want to hurt her. I want to make her pay. She tricked me again. I fell for it.

The silent treatment? I realize it now but ask anyway.

Shelby Lynn's decision. Capo takes another shot. You have to know Jayden was planned. He wasn't an accident. She knew what she was doing.

Yeah. I knew my boy wasn't an accident. Knew the moment she hit my bed and climbed on to ride me unsheathed she would be knocked up again. I didn't care. She wanted my seed in her. She wanted another baby. I couldn't give her anything else, but I could give her that. I could give her another piece of me. I didn't even think about why she wanted it so bad. We had always planned on having a big family. Shelby wanted to have them young, and I was all for it. I wanted to be around for it, but that wasn't my call. I don't regret my sons. I regret not being with them full-time. But, I've never regretted any of them. They are mine. I can't regret my own flesh and blood.

Why? I take another shot taking in the information I just learned.

For protection. The more kids she has the harder it would be for the family to push her into marrying someone of their choosing. Since your nuptials were a secret she rectified it in her mind that this was the simplest thing to do. Never occurred to her to just come clean about being married. She knew the game plan. She couldn't do that without putting a target on all our backs, so she decided having a house full of hellions would be easier for all of us involved.

I close my eyes taking it all in. I get it. She's young. Hell I'm young (being the same age) but she sometimes acts like a fucking child in her thinking. I don't understand her reasoning. I feel the pressure building inside my head. I'm pissed. I want to break her. I want to punish her for what she's put all of us through. Knowing that these decisions were hers and her acting like she was just a pawn in this game had me seeing red. I will punish her. I will make her pay for betraying me like this. I will teach her a lesson. I haul ass out the door barely containing my rage. I can't confront her with what I know. I can't betray my brother for finally giving me the truth.

I'm pulled from a deep sleep by banging on my door. I realize I'm on the floor of my room in the clubhouse; still in Black Castle, Florida. That dream was a memory. A conversation that took place two months ago at the Serenity chapter clubhouse.

I sit up quickly assessing my surroundings, gun in my right hand, empty condom wrappers surrounding me. Shit. It is fucking hot. Florida at the end of May; what did I expect? I'm naked and still hot.

The two girls from last night are snuggling together in my bed. I stare at the two women with no emotion. I didn’t sleep with them. Even drunker than shit, I slept on the floor. It would have been a dick move to kick them out after they worked so hard to pleasure me. I could fuck them nine ways from Sunday, but I didn’t cuddle with them. I didn’t give warmth. It wasn’t in me to give what I didn’t have to give.

I shake my thoughts away as Chains opens the door concerned I hadn’t answered. Why didn't I answer? Oh yeah, I was having a dream. I counted on Capo to feed me information without truly betraying his sister. He counted on me to take the information and keep it to myself. It didn't sit right with me not saying anything. I would do it for him, but I didn't like it. All it seemed to do was make me want to tear her apart for the things she had done to me. All in due time. One day I would be the one calling the shots, and Shelby would have to deal with my wrath. If it wasn't something to look forward to, I would explode. I stare at my president shaking the cobwebs away.

There is work to be done. I have a lesson plan to follow. A pop quiz. I stand up, sauntering to my bathroom completely naked. I need to piss and brush the nasty taste from my mouth. A shower was in order. I had to get their taint off of me. I didn't do guilt; but I would feel it if I allowed another woman's taint to consume me throughout the day. No that don't work for me. I rectified that in my mind to keep from going insane over my desire for who I really wanted. How can I fucking hate and love one woman so much she ruins me for all others? If she had the same thought pattern I did; I would kill whatever mother fucker who dared touch her porcelain olive skin. I have to shake those thoughts away. I have a lesson plan to complete today. I don't have time to worry about her. She is a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

Her sins will catch up with her soon enough. She is not innocent or a victim in any of this bullshit. She helped cause it. Today I have to focus on one of our enemy clubs.

The members of the Savages MC broke the truce that had been between the two clubs for over a decade. This particular Savage screwed up big time. Mutt was his road name. Actually, the Savages screwed up all the damn time in other states, but it was each chapter’s choice on how they dealt with them. Mother chapter would approve or veto the decision but ultimately it was each club's responsibility to handle their own problems. This time they screwed up in the mother chapter’s state. It wasn’t going unnoticed. Mutt wasn’t going anywhere. I left him dangling from the rafters of the warehouse he was currently serving detention in. I left him on purpose. It would ensure his fear would be heightened upon my return.

Mutt was going to die but only when I allowed the death. It won’t be fast and painless. It was gonna be slow and torturous. I was known to inflict torture. I was known to be uncaring. I was known to take my time making it brutal. Even rival MCs gave me a wide berth. I had spent the last four years building a reputation as the man nobody fucked with. I wasn’t ready to give up the title. I was known far and wide in the underground world as the man you don't fuck with and that was cool with me. I had Mutt for a day and a half. He put up more of a fight than I thought he would. I asked him questions, and the dude literally freaked out shitting himself. He begged me to do anything I wanted to him but keep ‘ink girl’ away from him. Who the fuck is ink girl?

I had to increase his fluids thinking the dude was delusional. 'She’s the ghost you send to take brothers out. Her name whispered from her lips or looking at her is a sure fire death'. The guy's words, not mine. I hooked him up to an IV so that the asshole had fluids. He was losing his shit. Couldn’t have him dying before his time. No that just won’t do.

I walk out of my bathroom noticing Chains rousing the girls on the bed. They needed to get the fuck up and go already. I smile cockily at my president as I slip on my jeans completely ignoring the girls that looked way hotter last night. Each of them looked rode hard. I smile knowing I did in fact ride them hard. They never had a man like me before. I wore them the fuck out. I fell asleep after several rounds with them; not at all satisfied. I had a hunger and a thirst that consumption of random pussy did nothing to feed the beast that had built inside of me.

Mutt give it up yet? Chains asks after kicking the girls off the bed, pulling out a cigarette, and placing it to his lips as he lit the white stick and inhaled deeply.

He’s close. Shit his pants last night. Dehydrated, talking about someone named ink girl. She whispers her name or appears before a brother and death is certain. I hooked him up to an IV so I could finish it today. You got them? I give a brief nod to the girls in my room as I shrug on my cut.

Chains shows no emotion only nods his head at me. Yeah, prez will take out the trash. I saunter from my room walking down the hall to the front of the clubhouse. An old hotel put to good use. I find my shades inside the pocket of my cut slipping them on before opening the door that would lead to the forecourt and the intense sun that was beating down it's scorching heat. The warehouse is miles from the clubhouse but located in a deserted place. Nobody would hear Mutt screaming. I left a couple of prospects just in case, but nobody fucked with Knights' property. That pussy Mutt screamed a lot. I can't blame him. I'd probably be screaming too if I was put in that predicament. I think about my lesson plan for the day smirking to myself as I approach a couple of my brothers. They will be joining me. Today’s lesson would be the final exam. We still had a missing piece, and I was sure that Mutt would give it up to us today.

Chains calls out across the tarmac yelling for me to hold up. He wants to attend the lecture with me. Sure. I got no problem with Chains coming along. I have serious skills which Chains Castle helped tweak over the years. Interrogation and hostile situations are something I excel in. I could decipher the enemy’s words and gestures better than any other brothers around here.

I learned at seventeen it was better to sit back and listen rather than act without thinking. It's an ongoing lesson plan that I continue to learn. Chains told me the older I become the more patience I would have. I didn’t think I could become much more patient. I sold my soul to the devil but became a better individual because of it. I have a future, I have half of a life, and I continue to learn valuable lessons in this life. Still….the patience sometimes wanes. It's an ongoing battle inside myself. Patience and desire. My two downfalls. I know that's a weakness for a man to have desires. Especially a man like me. Desires make a man act irrational.

I show no weakness to the outside world. I show no weakness in my club. As far as everyone is concerned my love and weaknesses rests on two wheels. Knights Steel Horse Choppers are my escape. My designs are legendary. At twenty-one years old, I am infamous for the designs I create for the rich and famous motorcycle enthusiasts. Those same citizens would be running for the hills if they knew who I truly was. If they knew all the things I was capable of doing with my hands alone; people may be reluctant to allow me to design their ride. I design them often enough so no one is clued in about me and only know the beautiful designs I create for the bikes. Clients request me in particular; which is always good on the old wallet. I can see the bigger picture and what it entails with the bikes I design.

Family loyalty being what it is; my sister's husband, Jason Turner, insisted I design his ride which led to me designing rides for all the Turners. Each tried to outdo the other over the years. As it stood; Jason Turner owned the most expensive bike. It was created with TNT Securities in mind. Jason built the business from the ground up before he lost his mind disappearing into the deep dark underworld seeking justice against a deranged serial killer. Jason had gone underground eighteen months ago and hadn’t been heard from since (along with his cousin Billy Turner).

He was on the hunt for a serial killer to the criminal elite. At first The Boss appeared to be on the ‘good guys’ side taking out hardened criminals, including a few Knights, until he turned; snuffing out those who seemed to be upstanding citizens and law enforcement. Billy's body was never recovered from the explosion in South America over four months ago. Jason went further underground if that was even possible and I knew it was. Someone with Jason’s tenacity for controlling his environment would be able to pull off such a ruse.

Chains winced watching me work over Mutt. I don't know why. I only took what he taught me and tweaked it to my own skills. He helped create my lesson plans. He shouldn't be so squeamish. He closed his eyes a few times as I stifled my grin continuing to work Mutt over.

His phone rings from inside his pocket. He listens intently hanging up and sharing the news with me that left me shaking my head.

Jason Turner died of a gunshot wound to the chest. His body was discovered in the Everglades; after rotting in the elements for weeks. The Boss had struck again.

Chains didn’t hesitate to pull the plug on the Savages member stating we had to go. We got what we needed from Mutt. He gave up enough for us to have a clearer picture of the Savages plans to infiltrate the Knights. The plan was to infiltrate one or two of our clubs in the north. The Florida boys didn't have the