The Wish List (Meddling Friends - Kelsie: Book 1)

By Riley LaShea

Kelsie almost has it all - a supportive family, a business she loves, and a close-knit group of friends who can be as meddlesome as they are fabulous. The one thing she doesn't have is a girlfriend, and, as the last unmarried member of the troop, her friends aren't about to stand for that.

During a night of drunken frivolity, they concoct a plan. They're going to send a letter to Santa on Kelsie's behalf, asking for a girlfriend for Christmas. It's all fun and good humor for Kelsie until, the very next day, she meets Randa, a seemingly perfect woman who possesses all the attributes her friends specifically requested for her in their letter.

When a chance encounter brings another woman into Kelsie's life, though, she begins to wonder whether perfect is necessarily right and if Santa could be way off the mark.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Riley LaShea
• Release date: Dec 5, 2013
• ISBN: 9781311604484

Riley LaShea

Riley LaShea is the author of a bunch of novels in a bunch of genres that so frequently combine into a single book, she spends a lot of time thinking, “Now, how the hell do I categorize this?”She travels a lot (when the world is open), and has lived in a (mostly) lovely assortment of cities in multiple states and two countries.She currently lives in Las Vegas with her wildly sarcastic, yet oddly charming spouse Shawna, but we’ll see how long that lasts. The location... not the wife.Just for kicks, and to dabble in murder and mayhem, she writes police procedural thriller series, 21 Weeks, under pen name R.A. LaShea.

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The Wish List

Meddling Friends - Kelsie

Book One

Riley LaShea

The Wish List

Copyright 2013 Riley LaShea

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in whole or in part, in any form, without written permission of the author. Thank you for supporting the author’s rights and buying an authorized edition of this e-book.

ALSO BY RILEY LASHEA

Romantic Comedy

The Meddling Friends Trilogy

(The Four Proposals, The Island Getaway)

Historical Romance

Dr. Todson’s Home for Incorrigible Women

Club Storyville

Erotic Romance

Night Falls on the Piazza

Behind the Green Curtain

Fantasy

The Black Forest Trilogy

(Kingdoms Fall, Magicks Rise, Stories End)

The Innocents

A Special Gift From Gram V

CONTENTS

Chapter 1 – 29 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 2 – 28 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 3 – 27 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 4 – 26 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 5 – 24 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 6 – 21 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 7 – 20 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 8 – 15 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 9 – 14 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 10 – 13 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 11 – 10 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 12 – 6 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 13 – 2 Days ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 14 – 1 Day ‘Til Christmas

Chapter 15 – Christmas Day

About the Author

Chapter 1

American Thanksgiving

29 Days ‘Til Christmas

O ne should never underestimate the mind-altering effects of sugar, tryptophan and copious amounts of alcohol. This was something Kelsie remembered every fourth Thursday morning of November when she was loading festive food and paraphernalia into her car. By the time she was halfway through her first overloaded plate of turkey and trimmings, though, her thoughts of moderation tended to come in moderation, so she could manage to avoid the hangover, but not the bursts of creative madness that tended to come from a day of overindulgence with her intimate six.

Some of the most asinine ideas her friends ever had came in the stupor that occurred sometime between eight and ten p.m. each American Thanksgiving.

Some of the most brilliant too.

It was mid-cranberry Jell-o shot one year that Brian perked up with his idea for the pet ornament - like the pet rock, but a seasonal inanimate object people could pretend was alive and had affection for them. Pleasantly tipsy, they had all indulged this genius until the next day when, sober, the pet ornament seemed like a stupid idea to everyone but Brian. In the end, his dedication was justified when the pet ornament was fad enough the following holiday season to treat them all to New Year’s in Aruba.

A trip that required a Christmas night departure, Kelsie’s mom claimed to be fine with it at the time. She didn’t really let it go, though, until Kelsie repented with a three-night pilgrimage to her old bedroom in the middle of March for no reason at all, other than for her mom to make her pancakes every morning and hug her at random intervals without warning.

Of course, even her mother recognized that Kelsie had two families, the one into which she was born and the one she formed at school when pressure, late nights, and the terror of impending adulthood created a nearly unnatural bond. She had even adopted them for a time, providing them a place of refuge when their families were too far or too infuriating. Part necessity, part kismet, Kelsie had given her heart to Melissa, Kip and Doug years before any of them fell for anyone else.

It was bound to happen, though. Two gays, two straights, none of them romantically compatible, they had to fall outside their circle eventually. Though, oddly enough, external parties only seemed to fortify their original foundation, instead of disbanding it.

There were no Yokos.

Watching late-addition Ashley fall into her husband’s appreciative lap and kiss him soundly, Kelsie remembered how surprising it was when Doug found someone in his early twenties. An unapologetic player who, quite literally, lived by the motto, Youth is the time to explore all channels, none of them expected him to give into forever until he had probed every channel he could find. So to speak.

Oh, Kels. Ashley sunk contentedly back against Doug’s chest, slapping his hand as he tried to maneuver it beneath her shirt. We have to find you someone. We need to find her someone, she repeated to her husband, sighing in over-dramatized pity at Kelsie, as if she was just the saddest thing.

Yeah, Kels, Doug agreed with his wife. Doug always agreed with his wife. You’re such a catch. Why are you still single?

Am I single? she asked, juvenilely satisfied when Doug’s gaze narrowed in drunken confusion.

Yeah, you’re totally single, he replied, but glanced around the room for a phantom girlfriend just in case.

Ever since Melissa wrapped Jay up in an elopement-style ceremony at Niagara Falls that was more like a bawdy celebration of their last vestiges of youth than holy matrimony, Kelsie hadn’t just become more noticeably single to her friends. She had become their new project, the ‘pet ornament’ of the year.

She’s too picky. Melissa raised her dirty blonde head from picking lint off her husband’s intentionally ugly sweater on the couch nearby to throw in her unsolicited two cents.

What are we talking about? Brian asked, coming back into the room with Kip and coffees that Kelsie thought were meant to start taking the edge off until she took the first sip and found the java-to-liquor ratio unfavorable to the regaining of her faculties.

Why Kelsie doesn’t have a girlfriend, Jay informed them, as if the topic of conversation ever changed. Kelsie would swear on a million bibles, her mother’s life and the cutest of puppies that her love life was all they had talked about since Melissa and Jay got back from their honeymoon.

Oh. Brian’s face wrinkled as he finished the distribution of the coffees and leaned the empty tray against an end table. Maybe she’s just too busy.

Kelsie smiled at him for coming to her defense.

Or maybe she’s using that as an excuse, Kip hardened his husband’s reasoning.

She is hot, though, Doug declared. Come on, you really can’t find any woman who wants a piece of all that? As Doug motioned to all the parts of Kelsie he considered highly-appealing, Ashley only smirked her agreement, more amused by her husband’s behavior than bothered by it.

He does have a point. Melissa took Doug’s side as they all would in the end, and Kelsie prepared for the united front of the recently-espoused against her bastion of romantic freedom. I mean, that piece I had was pretty tasty.

You two? Doug was roused so quickly to attention, he nearly dumped his wife on the floor. Oh, of course you did. All that time alone in your apartment, both being all sexy. How could you not? Oh my God, that is so hot.

It is also untrue, Kelsie stated, sending an irritated glare toward Melissa. Why would you tell him that? Like they could have conceivably done any such thing without Doug and Kip knowing about it at the time.

Melissa had zero justification aside from her own humor, which was clear on her face, as Doug looked between them, trying to decide who was telling him the truth. Someone else talk, he uttered. I forgot what I was saying.

What I think Doug’s trying to express in his own crass way, Ashley translated her husband, is, are you even trying?

You know I’m trying, Kelsie countered. God knew, she couldn’t date in private. If she ever met a woman without a million immediate questions and twelve hands pushing her toward the altar, it would be a miracle. What is this? she added, not sure if she was asking about their holiday attack or the extremely potent drink she’d been given as she lifted it to her lips. Does it hurt you all somehow that I’m single?

Does it hurt you? Kip came to rest on the arm of the chair with too much confidence in its build. As it tilted precariously on two legs, Kelsie watched the quasi-coffee slosh in her cup and thought they were all going over, until Kip’s absurdly strong legs pushed them back with a thump she was shocked didn’t break the chair in two. Seeing the rest of us leaving with someone. He didn’t miss a beat, while you go home to your empty condo?

Tossing a look toward Brian, Kelsie silently begged him to come fetch his husband. Why did you let him go back for a psych degree?

He wants to help people. Brian looked adoringly at Kip, too love-dumb to recognize him as the menace he was. Besides, look at that handsome face. Could you say ‘no’ to him?

Of course, Kelsie couldn’t say no to him. She couldn’t say no to any of them. That was the biggest part of her problem. These people were her kryptonite, and she went willingly into their debilitating embraces on regular occasion.

He wants to revel in people’s psychoses, she argued.

That too, Brian acknowledged.

Seriously, though... Kip decided redistributing his weight was the best way to keep them from tipping, and, sliding his arm over the top of the chair, he hovered over Kelsie like a sadistic angel. Your core group of friends is all paired up with each other. Then, there’s you. That has to make you feel like an outsider. A seventh wheel.

On what? Kelsie countered. A cargo van?

Maybe she’s like the spare. Doug found his brain again. And I will just say right now, Kels, if anything happens to me, I give you permission to fully take care of any and all of Ashley’s needs.

Why wait? Ashley added to her husband’s great pleasure.

When Doug looked hopefully to Kelsie, she shook her head with due adamance. I am not doing that, she stated. Though, she had to admit, if things continued as they had been going in her attempts to meet the right woman, she may well be desperate enough in a few years time to borrow her friend’s beautiful black-haired, mocha-skinned wife for the occasional fix.

Do you feel like that, Kels? Melissa thought she was helping as she abandoned Jay on the couch to plop on the other arm of Kelsie’s chair. Fleetingly wondering about its weight limit, Kelsie lost her chance to escape the precarious seat when Melissa’s hand came to rest on her shoulder, the squeeze of her long, determined fingers feeling more like incarceration than comfort. Like you’re the spare?

No, I really don’t, Kelsie responded.

Well, we certainly don’t see you that way, Brian came forward to assert, and it made Kelsie wonder if it was, in fact, how they saw her. She imagined them lying in bed at night, in their separate sets, pillow-talking about it. Oh, mustn’t it be depressing to be Kelsie, bolted in on the underside of the chassis, getting pelted by rocks and dirt slung up at her, as we all move forward in perfect harmony toward wonderful future destinations?

What are you waiting for exactly? Melissa questioned. You have dated some very nice women.

Hot women, Doug interjected. Some hot, hot women.

Yes, Kelsie acknowledged. I have dated some nice women. I have dated some hot women. I have dated women so insane, Kip would love to get his mind-meld on them, and some almost normal. Grateful suddenly for the spirits in her cup, she imbibed a hearty swallow that failed to make her friends go away.

And? Ashley questioned.

And what?

Why did you decide against the almost normal ones? Ashley went on. Assuming some of the almost normal ones were also some of the hot and-or nice ones.

I didn’t decide against them, Kelsie stated. I just couldn’t imagine a future with any of them. Who knows why?

That was the real deal. Her first quarter-century-going-on-thirties had been a rather pain-free existence. She wasn’t riddled with issues. There had been no great drama inhibiting her love life. She had just never found anyone quite... enough. And she frankly thought it a little unfair the way they ganged up on her when she knew damn well they were all only off the market because they had each found someone who was more than enough.

Brian burps in his sleep. Kip’s sudden announcement was both gross and unexpected, and Kelsie got a face full of boozy breath as she looked over at him to discover his hovering had only come closer. Burps, he reiterated, in his sleep.

Not sure why she was being enlightened to said fact, Kelsie glanced toward the nocturnal belcher. I’m sorry to hear that, Brian. Maybe it’s a digestive problem?

Kip talks to his dead grandmother, Brian declared, catching onto his husband’s train of thought much quicker than Kelsie. It’s really freaky.

Melissa watches reruns of game shows and pretends she knows the answers, Jay said.

Yes, I know. Kelsie bitterly recalled the twenty bucks lost to Melissa in college before she became aware of the bizarre, yet clearly lucrative, habit.

You also know what’s wrong with him. Ashley patted her carnally-predisposed husband on his muscle-bound chest.

Ash wears two pair of underwear in the winter, Doug complained in retaliation. Regular panties, then boy shorts.

Probably as a barrier. Melissa snorted her coffee.

That’s not true, Honey. You know I just don’t like my bits cold, Ashley appeased Doug, but looked toward Melissa in wide-eyed affirmation.

Jay pulls the wings off butterflies! Melissa realized she might miss her chance to share one of her husband’s less-desirable traits, and all movement in the room came to a truly horrified standstill.

I do NOT do that, Jay stated firmly.

No, Melissa admitted. But he does sneeze into his hand and wipe it on his pants.

I do do that, Jay confirmed.

Well, fantastic, Kelsie stated when their gazes returned to her, as if, between the six of them, they had made an indisputable argument. Thank you for all of that information I would rather not know about you. Is there a point to any of this?

Yes. Kip pushed up, adjusting his glasses on his nose and trying to find a position of authority on the arm of the chair. The point is everyone has faults. Bizarre, gross, annoying, inherently unsexy faults. No one’s perfect, Kels.

I know no one is perfect. Kelsie straightened in defense. I am far from perfect.

That’s true, Kip responded.

You don’t have to agree. Kelsie resisted the urge to push him off the arm of the chair only due to its precarious balance and the knowledge Melissa didn’t have the lower body strength to keep them from tipping the other direction. I’m not looking for perfection. I’m just... I’m looking for... Sighing as she realized she didn’t know why none of the women she’d dated in the past felt right to her, she knew it was a mistake to admit defeat, but there was nothing else she could do. I don’t know what I’m looking for.

THAT is your problem. Melissa suddenly thought herself an expert too. You have to have some idea of what you want, or how will you know when you find it?

Well, I don’t, Kelsie grumbled.

Kels. Doug was suddenly almost serious, and Kelsie released a frustrated sigh as she looked to him. You don’t have to know what you want exactly, but you do have to have some idea what you need to be happy. Like I’m a hound, right?

So say half the alums of U of T, Kelsie replied, grimacing at the slip and flicking her gaze to Ashley. Sorry, Ash.

It’s all right, she returned with all the confidence of a woman who could handle being married to Doug. I know all about his record, on and off the ice.

But now... Doug rushed to proclaim the sanctity of his marriage. Now, I’m all bark and no bite. I knew that would always be me, though, and I would have to find someone who would put up with that.

And, miraculously, you did. Kelsie grinned at the wonder of it all.

Better in the open where I can see it, Ashley reasoned, scratching her fingers along Doug’s scalp. That way I can pull him back by his leash when he gets out of hand. When she gave his light brown hair a sharp tug of emphasis, Doug groaned in anything but pain, and Kelsie felt over-informed as to how they made things work so well.

Why don’t you just let us pick someone for you? Melissa suggested, and Kelsie’s laugh came so fast and raucous, it was almost painful.

No, thank you.

You don’t trust us? Melissa sounded truly wounded, and Kelsie knew she had reached her usual alcohol-induced pouty stage. We did all right for ourselves.

Yes, you did, Kelsie admitted. In fact, she wasn’t sure how they could have done better. But you do have a tendency to think what you want is what I want when that’s not necessarily the case.

But you don’t know what you want, Brian reminded her, lifting his coffee cocktail to his lips for a victorious drink.

He does have a point there, Jay agreed, and Melissa smiled at her husband in a way that indicated taking their side when he didn’t have to say anything was a very wise, and would prove a very rewarding, decision.

Maybe they were right, Kelsie acknowledged, but only in her head where they couldn’t use her agreement to plot. Maybe it was her problem. Maybe she needed to really think about what she wanted. She wasn’t going to create some kind of dream-mate checklist, though, a set of criteria against which she compared every person she met. After all, the six people currently circled around her, telling her how pitiful, lonely, and imperfect she was, couldn’t be more different, and, for reasons that escaped her at that moment, she was enamored with all of them.

All right. She knew she had to put an end to their match-making notion before they overruled her on her own life. I love you guys, and you have, I admit, shown a true knack for finding quality partners. However, if you would take a moment from your self-congratulating to remember, you have all set me up in the past. With most of the crazy people. Remember, that woman Jay set me up with a year ago stabbed me in the hand with a pocket knife when I tried to pick up the bill at dinner.

She thought she was being romantic. Melissa tried to reason away crazy. She didn’t want you to pay.

I thought it wasn’t the knife. Brian thought the details made a difference. It was only the little scissors.

I had to get four stitches!

Yeah, sorry about that. Jay, at least, had the decency to feel some remorse. She didn’t seem insane at work.

Well, there you go. Kelsie raised her mug to him. "It’s really kind of hard to know until you have