Del Boca: Are We There Yet? (A Social Satire)

By Charles A. Mills

Reality is no respecter of delusions, except perhaps in Del Boca, a model American community, struggling to be heard above the din. The days are fully packed as the good people of Del Boca deal with such problems as elitism, education reform, celebrity culture, political correctness, free speech, science, and politics. A social satire about life in our times.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Charles A. Mills
• Release date: Sep 30, 2015
• ISBN: 9781519995100

Charles A. Mills

Chuck Mills has a passion for history. He is the author of Hidden History of Northern Virginia, Echoes of Manassas, Historic Cemeteries of Northern Virginia and Treasure Legends of the Civil War and has written numerous newspaper and magazine articles on historical subjects. Chuck is the producer and cohost of Virginia Time Travel, a history television show that airs to some 2 million viewers in Northern Virginia. He lives on the banks of the Potomac River on land once owned by George Washington.

Book preview

1

Kicking the Can

On a misty Saturday morning before dawn, a small flat-bed truck on its way to the Farmer’s Market in Andromeda City hit a pot hole, spilling two crates off the back.  The crates rolled down a steep hill, smashing open in the blackness.  From these smashed crates emerged two visitors who would forever change the history of a neighborhood in Andromeda City known as Del Boca.

The hungry fugitives, Machiavelli and Rudy, two Rhode Island Red roosters, quickly made their way from the scene of the accident to the quiet streets of Del Boca, zeroing in on The Poplar Street Diner, perhaps attracted by a sign which read, Vegetarian Menu.  As if to prove the old adage, A rooster’s instincts are never wrong, H.C. Clarke, the owner of the diner was soon feeding the boys spud nuts (the doughnut made with potato flour) and delighting in the novelty of having two roosters in Del Boca.

Within the week, Machiavelli and Rudy were the super-stars of Del Boca, strutting through the neighborhood and up and down Poplar Street, Del Boca’s main drag.  Wherever they went folks rushed out with their phones to take selfies with the stars.  Before long the Andromeda City Gazette did a feature on the spud-nut loving roosters, and even the Capital City Times ran a piece in the Style section under the headline, Why did the rooster cross Poplar Street?  The unexpected answer was, to get to the spud-nuts.

The first whiff of controversy arose at the monthly meeting of the Del Boca Neighbors and Friends Association.  The Del Boca Neighbors and Friends Association was governed by a Board made up of nine representatives elected at large from the community.  The office of Chairman of the Association rotated every six months to prevent the aggregation of too much executive power in the hands of one person.  No one in Del Boca had any interest in seeing a dictator come to power.  The annual elections were always contentious, with three neighborhood parties vying for votes: The Liberals, The Moderate-Liberals, and The Liberal-Liberals.  Two householders tried to start a fourth party called The Libertines, but the less said about this movement the better.  The electorate was evenly divided, guaranteeing that each party would have three representatives in perpetuity, and since all Board votes required a two thirds majority, this ensured a maximum of talk and a minimum of action.  It was the perfect political formula for Del Boca.  It was to this august body that Representative Bob Trippe (Liberal, Spruce Lane) expressed the concerns of certain businesses about fowl droppings in front of their thresholds.

I like the roosters, but if a business owner, who pays taxes complains and we ignore that because we think the roosters are cute, it’s irresponsible of us. A rooster doesn’t pay any taxes.

There you go again, chimed in Ned Clapp (Liberal-Liberal, Felicity Lane), the dollar before everything.  That’s the private sector for you! 

And let me remind everyone, continued Bob Trippe, scowling at Ned Clapp, that Andromeda City has a strict animal control ordinance, animals are not allowed to roam the city. We could get every animal in the Del Boca neighborhood in trouble with the authorities if we ignore this rooster problem.

Bob Trippe, new to both Del Boca and the Board had overplayed his