Sliding Backwards, A Shimmer Lake Novel # 3

By Christina Smith

What would you do to save your child?
After seven years of happiness with her husband and now their beautiful six year old daughter, Abby finds herself faced with that very question. There can only be one answer—she would do ANYTHING.
Because of the sacrifice she makes to save her child, she feels so far from the happy and thriving life she built with Noah, that she doesn’t believe she can ever find her way back.
In the third installment in the Shimmer Lake series, Abby will go through the most challenging time of her life. She will be faced with horrors no woman should ever go through.
Will she have the will to survive or will an enemy from her past finally win?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christina Smith
• Release date: Sep 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311130822

Christina Smith

She is a wife and mother, who lives in a small rural town in Ontario Canada where she spends most of her free time writing.She has always loved to read, but didn't realize she could write until a few years ago. She has told stories her whole life, but never thought to write them down.She took a novel writing course at Winghill writing school, and since then has written four books. Two are finished, the others are being edited.Her book Fated Dreams was named Semi-Finaliast in the 2011 Textnovel writing Contest.

Book preview

Sliding

Backwards

A novel

By Christina Smith

Published by Christina Smith

Copyright ©2015 Christina Smith

Smashwords edition

Cover art by Ronnell D Porter

Edited by Christine LePorte

Look for these other exciting titles by Christina Smith

My Young Adult Novels

Fated Dreams (Book one in the Affinity Series)

Delusions (Book two in the Affinity Series)

Riley’s Curse, A Moon’s Glow Prequel

Riley’s Secret, A Moon’s Glow Novel # 1

Riley’s Torment, A Moon’s Glow Novel #2

Riley’s Redemption, A Moon’s Glow Novel #3

Skeleton Park

My Adult Contemporary Novels

Lost Inside, A Shimmer Lake Novel #1

Finding Abigail, A Shimmer Lake Novel #2

This story is fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

For my mom

Everything.

Every single thing I loved in this world …was gone. I was alone, trapped in a black hole so deep in utter despair, I couldn’t breathe.

Chapter One

Hope

In fairy tales the knight in shining armor saves the princess from the evil villain. After he kisses her, they live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, reality doesn’t quite work that way. I was saved from my own personal villain but the scars lingered. I was happy with my knight, and he was everything I ever wanted in a man, yet seven years later, the memories of my tormentor still haunt me. With every day that passes, the memories dim, but they never fade.

After all this time, there are still mornings when I wake up with a tightness in my throat and the sting of hands clasped firmly around my neck. There are still moments when I shrink inside myself because of a raised voice or loud noise. Despite all of that, I refuse to get lost in those moments, because if I do, then he wins, and I won’t allow that to happen.

Watch me, Daddy! Watch me! Hope’s sweet voice flowed over me like a balm, soothing my soul as I finished off the last sentence. I had finally done it. I’d written an adult fiction novel. I’d always wanted to write one. I just never imagined I would choose this particular subject matter.

Wow, Hope, that was awesome. Can you do it again? The man who spoke was the reason I had survived all those years ago. He was the bright spot in a really dark time—my lighthouse in a torrential rain. He saved me both figurative and literally from the person set on controlling my life.

A roar of giggles and deep laughter drifted in through my open office window, pushing the murky thoughts brought on by my manuscript to the back of my mind. With the first draft finished, it was time to take a break and focus on happier times, such as Labor Day weekend. There were heaps of fun activities planned and I couldn’t wait to spend them with my family.

Mommy! Hope squealed after I emerged from our home onto the deck, wearing my deep blue tankini. The late afternoon sun gently touched my face, warming not only my skin but inside as well. Thoughts of Nick always made me feel cold.

When Noah tossed Hope up into the air, she dropped back into the water with a splash. She shot back up, the water dripping down her face and hair. The giggles erupting out of her sounded like the wind chimes hanging from the porch roof that swayed with the breeze.

At the sight of my beautiful daughter, I felt a smile instantly tug at my lips. She was the product of my life with Noah; with his bright blue eyes and my sandy hair, she reminded me every day of what our love had created.

Are you coming in, babe? Noah asked, looking up at me. He was standing waist deep in the lake next to our house, the sun beaming down on his damp hair and skin. His already light hair looked almost white against the tan he had accumulated during the summer. Even after all of our years together, my stomach flipped at the sight of him. He was the most handsome man I knew.

Come in, Mommy, come in! Hope chanted, jumping up and down, the water splashing against her already soaked pink and yellow polka-dotted bathing suit.

With the two people I loved the most begging me to spend time with them, how could I resist?

I stepped toward the beach and waded into the water, sucking in a sharp breath as the slightly chilled liquid touched my bare legs. Since summer was on its last legs, the air was cooler at night, and therefore so was the lake. That didn’t stop Hope from swimming, though. She loved the water and nagged us daily to go in, even if it was raining. We were surprised she hadn’t sprouted fins yet. Her love of the water was yet another reason I thanked my lucky stars that my previous neighbor, Sylvia, had helped me escape my abusive relationship. When she handed me the key to her cottage seven years ago, I never imagined it would change my life as much as it had. I fell in love with the beauty of the cottage and lake as much as I did the man in the house right next to it.

Did you finish? Noah asked as he took slow strides toward me, the water parting smoothly as he moved.

Hope stayed behind him, and as she bounced up and down, the water crashed against my thighs, causing me to wince once again as it touched a dry patch of skin.

I grinned, feeling pride all the way down to my toes. Yes. I just sent it to Marcy and Debbie. Debbie was my editor for all of my children’s books and had been my best friend since college. She worked for my publisher and had been discussing my new book with her bosses as well as with my agent, Marcy. I was expecting a call from Marcy on Tuesday.

Noah reached out and put his hands on my waist, leaning in to brush his lips against mine. My lips tingled at the touch. Good. I know how difficult it was for you.

Difficult was an understatement. Even though I enjoyed writing children’s books and was somewhat successful at it, the idea of writing a novel for adults had always been in the back of my mind. I never could have imagined it would be about my own experiences.

When I first put pen to paper—or more accurately fingers to keyboard, it was just a therapeutic exercise to let out my trauma. However, once I started, I couldn’t stop. It didn’t take long to realize that it was so much more than I had originally thought. Instead of just a journal that helped me sort through bad memories, it became a novel loosely based on my time with Nick and how I survived his abuse.

Noah pulled away, a small smile lighting his face. I’m proud of you.

His words spread warmth throughout my body, the unwanted memories long gone. I leaned up to give him another kiss, a longer one this time, savoring the taste and feel of the man I was desperately in love with. At the sound of a girly squeal, I felt a splash of water hit my face with a splat. It hit Noah as well and we both turned slowly to look at our daughter, droplets of water dripping from our chins.

She was grinning, her dimples peeking out from her chubby cheeks. Are you two going to kiss…or swim? Her head was tilted to the side, her light hair darkened from the water that dampened her silky locks.

Noah stepped away from me and scooped her up, her small frame swallowed up by his long muscular arms. She squealed once again just before he tossed her back into the lake. When she stood up laughing uncontrollably, she cried, Do it again, between her shrieks of laughter.

I smiled at the sight before me, feeling truly blessed at how my life turned out. My tormentor was in jail and had been for years. I was happier than I’d ever been.

It’s huge.

I can’t believe it fits.

Kathy and I were standing at the bottom of a waterslide. And not just any old slide. This thing was enormous. I couldn’t believe it fit on the park grounds. I thought the council decided against a waterslide in town, I said, clenching my cold pop can against my arm. The sun was hot, glaring above us. I was thankful I chose to wear a simple tank top and jean shorts.

Kathy waved at Jeremy as he sat down at the top, getting ready to slide, his long legs folded into a sitting position. They did. Until Mayor Donovan overruled. His granddaughter wanted it.

I nodded in understanding; Mayor Donavon’s granddaughter was in Hope’s class at school, and whatever she wanted, her grandfather would usually get it for her.

Despite his age, Kathy’s son laughed as he slid down the long tube, making me smile. He had just turned fifteen and still loved a waterslide. My grin widened when his father flew down behind him. Once a kid, always a kid. I wasn’t exactly surprised; Sam was an overgrown child, just like his best friend, Noah, who just appeared at the top of the slide. Hope was poised on his lap.

She squealed like a banshee as they sailed over the bumps, twists, and turns. By the time they landed at the bottom, she was laughing hysterically.

Before we arrived, Hope had been reluctant to try the slide, leery of the height.

I guess that means she likes it, Kathy observed. The sun glared off of her red hair, almost blinding me.

My cheeks hurt from grinning at my child. I guess so.

Noah picked our daughter up and carried her back to the line; guess they both did.

Leaving our happy family, Kathy and I wandered over to our picnic table, the festive sounds of summer filling the space around us. So, how’s it going with Jamie? I asked as we sat down, both of us setting the drinks we’d been holding down in front of us on the wooden surface.

Kathy frowned. Ugh. I don’t know. He doesn’t talk to me.

Jamie was seventeen and head over heels in love with their next door neighbor Alice.

I spotted her son under a tree nearby, lip-locked to the neighbor. I pointed. Uh…um. He looks very busy at the moment.

Kathy turned her head in the direction I’d pointed. Hey, Jamie, she yelled over all the voices around us, causing a few heads to turn in our direction. You might want to take a break before one of you suffocates.

The pair of teens pulled apart. Alice buried her face in her hands, her cheeks a bright shade of crimson, almost matching her boyfriend’s hair. Jamie spun on his mother, glaring at her.

Are you trying to embarrass them?

Of course. Isn’t that what mothers are for?

I couldn’t help but laugh, just as Sam appeared, taking the seat next to his wife.

What’s so funny? he asked me, stretching his hands out in front of him.

Kathy shook her head. Nothing. She glanced around. Where is everyone?

Jeremy blew us off for his friends, and Hope and Noah went to get ice cream cones.

You didn’t want one? I asked. A gaggle of girls walked by us, their voices shrill with excitement. I watched them, thinking of my sister, Brenda, and our friends at that age.

No. I’m still stuffed, Sam said, pulling my attention back to him.

"That’s what happens when you have four burgers," Kathy scolded.

Unoffended, Sam simply patted his stomach.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Noah and Hope, each holding a cone. Noah was licking his favorite cherry cheesecake. Hope had her usual, bubble-gum. When they got closer, I noticed something else.

What the hell is on your face? Sam asked Noah when they reached the picnic table.

They each had wings framing their eyes. Hope’s were purple with gold sparkle, while Noah’s were blue with silver sparkle.

Butterfly wings, Noah answered, unfazed by Sam’s mocking.

Why did you do that? Sam could barely hold in his laughter.

Before Noah could reply, I couldn’t help but add, That’s nothing. You should have seen him last week. He was wearing a tiara and clip-on earrings.

Now Sam’s laugh slipped out. Did you really?

Noah frowned at me for exposing his secret, then met his friend’s imploring gaze. Yes. It was a tea party. Formal attire was required.

Sobering, Sam glared at Hope. Are you saying you had a tea party, and you didn’t invite me? The playful fury was clear in his voice.

Hope giggled, her ice cream forgotten as she listened to the adults banter. Yes. But you can come next time, Uncle Sam.

I’m going to hold you to that.

When Hope wandered away to play nearby with a friend from school, Kathy smirked at my husband. So you wore earrings and a tiara, huh?

He shrugged. That’s what you do when you have a little girl.

You’re a good daddy. I knew you would be.

We were interrupted when Hope rushed back, falling into me, smelling of bubble gum and the watermelon she’d eaten earlier. Mommy, it’s your turn to get your face painted. We all have to be butterflies.

Why? I asked, not exactly sure I agreed with her statement.

’Cause we’re a family.

That, I couldn’t argue with. I stood up and allowed her to lead me away.

Later, after an exciting night of beautiful, yet very noisy fireworks, Noah carried Hope into our home. She was fast asleep nestled in his arms, the left side of her face and the purple wing around her eye all I could see of her. The paint was faded and had smudged onto Noah’s blue T-shirt.

I followed him in, pulling out a pair of pajamas to change her in to.

Once I’d dressed her, and she was comfortably sleeping under the covers, we stood at the doorway watching her sleep. She was so peaceful; it was hard to look away.

We make good babies, Noah stated, wrapping his warm arms around me.

We sure do.

Want to try again? He bent over and nuzzled my neck, awaking a buzz of pleasure inside me.

Okay. I laughed softly, tilting my head to allow him access. But maybe not here.

He chuckled under his breath, pulling me out of Hope’s room and into our own.

Chapter Two

The Search

Hope, hurry up! You’re going to be late for school. My words were answered by a muffled groan. It was the third time I had called her and she had yet to come out of her room.

It was Tuesday morning and I was waiting on the call from my agent about my new book and trying to get Hope ready for the first day of school. She’d had a meltdown already about what to wear. She was six. The idea of her fretting over clothes terrified me. She was so unlike me, who at her age wore whatever my fingers touched first. Even now, I never really cared what I looked like, much to my friends Debbie’s and Kathy’s dismay. There were fashionistas and were forever trying to change me. I could not be changed.

When I had pulled out the outfit Hope and I had agreed on weeks before, she smiled, her mood lighting instantly. I hadn’t seen her since.

Just as I stuffed her lunch into her backpack, she rushed out of her room looking adorable in a long-sleeved pink top with brown plaid edging and a brown corduroy knee-length skirt. Most of her shoulder-length hair was down, but I had pulled the sides up with pretty pink and purple butterfly clips.

Come on, Mom, I don’t want to be late. Her voice sounded annoyed, like she was the one waiting on me, not the other way around. She snatched her backpack and headed out the door, the metal edge smacking against the frame with a loud thwack.

I rolled my eyes and followed.

Do you know what Alysa said last night at the park? Hope asked me while we stood in our driveway waiting for the bus. She loved going to the park for the annual fireworks show. It was something we’d done since she was a toddler. Last year was the first time she was able to watch it without her hands covering her ears.

What? I was only half listening. I was anxious about the call from Marcy. She told me last week that she’d been in touch with several publishers and was expecting to hear from them soon. And after my talk with Debbie on the weekend, I was on pins and needles.

She said that Ms. Hannigan was our teacher.

Is that a good thing? I kicked a pebble off of our paved drive with my fuzzy lilac slipper. It rolled into the grass, getting lost in the blades.

Yes. She plays the guitar. Her eyes were the size of the tire swing Noah had hung from the enormous elm on our front lawn. Isn’t that cool?

Very cool.

At six, it didn’t take much to impress my daughter. I missed that feeling of innocence that only existed when you were young, before the stresses that came with growing up tainted your outlook on life.

The sound of the phone ringing from inside the house jolted me away from my daughter’s excitement. It was most likely Marcy. "Oh, honey. I have to get that. I’ll be right back."

Okay, but hurry! Hope ordered as I rushed inside, making my way to the phone.

"Where is it," I mumbled. I could hear the muffled ringing coming from the counter. It was covered with the makings of Hope’s lunch and I couldn’t see the phone. Just when I worried it would stop ringing, I found the blasted thing under the half-filled bread bag.

Hello? I answered breathlessly, making my way back outside, the sun blinding me as it shone over the lake. I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the brightness.

Abby? Marcy asked.

Yes. Are you calling with good news? I stepped onto the pavement of the driveway and saw the back of the bus as it turned the corner up ahead. Darn it, I missed Hope’s send-off. For the last two years she always blew me a kiss before she hopped up the steps. It had become our tradition. I hoped she wasn’t too disappointed. I stared at the yellow bus, a ball of regret forming in my stomach. I would just have to make her favorite supper tonight to make it up to her. I hoped Noah was in the mood for tacos.

Did you hear me? Marcy was saying, pulling me back to the conversation.

I waved as the bus disappeared around the corner and once again directed my attention to the call. No, sorry. What was that?

I said, you’ve had a couple offers.

Excitement bloomed in my stomach, spreading through my body like butterflies trapped in a cage. Is one from my publishing house? When I first told her I was writing the book, she insisted on looking elsewhere just to see what was out there. I really didn’t want to leave my current publisher since Debbie worked there, yet I went along with it anyway.

Yes, but their offer is the lower one.

My excitement dimmed. Oh, was all I could think to say as I opened the door and went back inside.

I moved to the counter and started cleaning, twisting the bread bag closed and folding the excess under the bread before tossing it into the cupboard.

I know you didn’t want to go anywhere else, but I really think you should consider it.

I was quiet for a few seconds while I wiped the crumbs from the counter. All right, I will. Just email me the offers and I’ll take a look at them.

The tapping of her keyboard was the only sound for a brief moment before she spoke again. I’m still waiting on one more publisher and I’ll send that when it comes.

Okay, I sighed. Do you think they’ll up their offer? I knew she would understand who I was referring to.

They might, but you should look at both first.

Shaking the cloth into the sink, I tossed it over the tap. Send them to me and I’ll get back to you later.

Once she agreed, we hung up. I finished cleaning, my thoughts on contracts and deals. I hated this part. All I wanted to do was write; I had no interest in the business end of it.

When the kitchen was clean, I headed into my office to check my email and call Debbie. I needed her advice.

An hour later, I was immersed in offers and documents, no closer to making a decision. Since Debbie was in a meeting when I called, I was on my own. When the phone rang, I grabbed it quickly, not even looking at the caller ID. It’s about time, I said with frustration clear in my voice.

Abby? It wasn’t my friend’s voice on the