Crash

By Amity Cross

Violet Fuller has been through a lot in her short life.
After being viciously attacked, she’s hidden herself away from the world for the past five years, fearing everyone and everything. That’s until the day she finally gathers the courage to go outside.
Violet decides to take a job at Ash’s new gym, Pulse, to reacquaint herself with the male dominated world of MMA. She used to be her brother’s biggest supporter, going to all his matches and cheering him on. There’s no one he trusts more to help him run the admin side of his new business, but when Violet walks through the door for the first time, she sees someone she wasn’t expecting.
Handsome, AUFC fighter, Lincoln Hayes.
The same Lincoln Hayes that she’s had a crush on since she was sixteen.
All muscled, disciplined, hot as hell, six-foot two of him. He’s definitely not a boy anymore.
Things are about to become more difficult than Violet had hoped. So much for easing back into reality.
And Lincoln? He’s only got one thing on his mind.
How do you win over a woman who is afraid of everything?
Simple.
You fight.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nicole R. Taylor
• Release date: Sep 22, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310266331

Amity Cross

Find out more about Amity and her books by visiting:https://www.amitycrosswrites.com

Book preview

1

Violet

A nd how does that make you feel?

I stared up at the ceiling of my therapist’s office and scowled. Lying on Dr. Ormond’s posh leather couch was meant to make me feel calm. I didn’t feel calm. All I wanted to do was rebel, but even then, she recited some psychobabble to explain why I wanted to. Therapists had an answer for everything.

How did it make me feel? Fucked off.

Violet?

I turned my head, plastering a fake smile on my face. Fucked. Off.

Dr. Ormond didn’t flinch, her middle-aged, polished exterior schooled to thoughtfulness. We went through this every week. I was angry about what happened to me, but that part was a given. Also, I was pissed off at myself for allowing it to get to the point where fear of the outside world crippled me. Maybe I’d be better if my parents had stuck around…or my friends, or if Ash hadn’t been thrown in the slammer for protecting me.

I never asked to be raped, after all.

Ash was my big brother and the only man I trusted in my entire life. He’d made some money from his short time fighting in the pro AUFC circuit and had used the money to invest in a house…that became my home after everything fell apart. It was still my home and the only place I felt entirely safe.

In short, the world scared me. More than scared…it terrified me.

I’d struggled with the attack and still did, even though it was over five years ago. Things like that, terrible things, just didn’t go away simply because you wanted them to.

Everyone but Ash had abandoned me, even my own parents. Sucky, right?

Ash was the only one who stuck around after things went bad. We were always inseparable as kids, and as we grew up, he felt it was his duty to protect me. Once he found out that his rival in the AUFC, Hammer, was behind my rape… Well, it wasn’t pretty. They used me to lure him into a trap, which got him kicked out of pro and was sentenced to five years in prison for aggravated assault. He was released after four for good behavior, but his life had already been ruined. His and mine.

Without Ash around, I was alone. I withdrew from everything and everyone, hiding away because it was easier to deal with the fear that way. I saw Hammer’s face every time I closed my eyes. I saw him in the shadows and I saw him in my dreams. I’d rebelled against going to therapy, shied away from talking about the attack, lashed out at Ash, and I’d even refused to go see him in jail for months.

It’s easy to blame yourself when you’re the victim. That’s what happens. You think because you were weak, because you didn’t see it coming, that it was all your fault. Ash blamed himself, I’m sure he still did, but I blamed myself more. My therapist said that was ‘normal’. I’m not even sure what that word meant anymore.

Dr. Ormond watched me for a moment and replied, Yes, I imagine it would make you feel…fucked off.

I’m just frustrated. I sighed heavily, feeling a little bad for saying the word ‘fuck’ to my prim and proper therapist.

How is your study going? she asked, thankfully steering the conversation onto a new path.

At her advisement, I’d taken an online course in Business Management and Accounting to get some ‘real world skills’ and had been working on it over the last six months. It was a year course, but I had a lot of time on my hands, so I’d blazed through the assignments.

I finished last week, I said. I have to wait for my grade, then I can apply for the certificate. A pointless piece of paper to hang on my wall. I let my gaze wander over the office, taking in the framed Diplomas, Bachelors, Doctorates, Masters and PHD’s with good old Dr. Ormond’s name scrawled on them. It must take a lot of important paper to become a shrink.

We talked about the need to venture outside the house, she said, watching my perusal of her office. Small trips. How are you going with that?

Okay. I’d gone to the shop on the corner the other day to buy a Mars bar and didn’t hyperventilate.

You didn’t have an anxiety attack?

I shook my head. It’s getting better. I supposed the trick was to get used to new places little by little.

Perhaps it’s time to start going a little bigger, Dr. Ormond declared. Since you have a qualification now, you should try applying for some employment.

A job? I began to pale. A job required an interview and going to an unknown place with lots of people.

It’s just a suggestion, Violet. You can start by putting together your resume and a covering letter. You don’t have to send them straight away.

I sat up on the couch and bending at the waist, I rested my forehead against my knees. Taking deep breaths, I felt the panic begin to subside.

Small steps, she said, patting me on the shoulder.

I raised my head and took a deep breath. I can write a resume, I said after a moment. It’s a little thing.

Dr. Ormond smiled, pushing her glasses up her nose. Give it a try. I can look over it if you like. Bring it along to our next appointment.

I knew I was a bitch to her more often than not. I’d rebelled against therapy early on and dropped it entirely, convinced that it was all rubbish. I’d been going back for a year now, and things were slightly improving, but I still had a long way to go. I guess I still believed nothing was going to fix what was broken that night, no matter how many small steps I took.

Nodding, I said, Sure.

Dr. Ormond smiled. You’re doing great, Violet.

Am I? Because I don’t feel it.

You know that shampoo commercial? she asked with a smile. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it will happen? Recovery from an ordeal like yours takes time. Small steps.

Always with the small steps. I smiled and nodded, giving her what she wanted. My heart wasn’t in it.

Small steps.

The only thing that settled me after a visit to the therapist’s office was something soft to sit on and a good book.

I was curled up on the couch in the living room when I heard my big brother come home. No doubt the questioning would start the moment he saw me. I was used to it, but I never really liked it.

Hey, Violet.

I glanced up from my book as Ash sauntered into the lounge room. At a glance, you could tell we were brother and sister. We had the same dark, almost black hair, the same green eyes and fair skin, but that’s where the similarities ended. He was tall, totally buff, outgoing and tattooed while I was slim, shorter by a whole head and meek. I was a tiny little mouse who shied away at the slightest glance. He was the MMA fighter, and I was the bookworm.

Hey. You’re home early.

Flicking the cover of my book with a thick finger, he squinted and read the title. "Beautiful Bastard."

I rolled my eyes as he sat next to me.

Obviously it’s about me, he said with a laugh.

It’s about an asshole who doesn’t know how to have a proper relationship, so I guess it is.

"Oh, burn. He held his hand to his chest like he was wounded. I’ll have you know Ren took care of that."

Thank god, I retorted. You were getting suffocating.

Ash grinned lopsidedly and kicked his feet up onto the coffee table. How was your date with Dr. What’s-her-name?

Dr. Ormond, I said, correcting him. It was okay.

How’s things?

I sighed, closing my book. He was prodding…again. Where’s Ren? I thought you were planning a holiday.

No avoiding the question, squirt.

I pretended to throw up. "You know how filthy that sounds? I’m your sister."

Ash laughed, poking me in the ribs. Now, if you just start talking to everyone else like you do me and Ren, then we’re getting somewhere.

Instinctively, I hugged my arms around myself, the book tight against my chest. It was a protective move on my part, something that had been hardwired into my brain—or so said the shrink.

I wanna try. It’s just… I trailed off with a shrug.

Scary?

I glanced up at my brother and nodded. Dr. Ormond thinks it might be a good idea if I start looking for a job.

His face contorted into thought. A job, huh?

I finished my course last week, I said. I should get my final mark back by Friday.

I could use some help with the admin at Pulse, he said. Pens and paper aren’t my style.

Ash’d earned his fortune at The Underground, an illegal cage fighting ring that was held in an abandoned warehouse in Abbotsford, an inner suburb of Melbourne, not too far from where he opened Pulse. He didn’t want to go back to pro or stay long-term in underground fighting—he didn’t want that kind of spotlight anymore—so he used his winnings to open up his own fighter gym. He said he wanted to help screw-ups like him.

At the thought of going back to that world, I felt my throat constrict. I’d been Ash’s biggest cheerleader before everything fell apart. When he made pro, I was so happy for him. I went to all his qualifiers, talked him up all over the Internet and I even went to Sydney for some of his matches. When Mum and Dad let me, that was. It was another time and all the things I’d loved about it now gave me nightmares. He took that away from me, and I was yet to get it back. I wasn’t sure I wanted it.

They’re good blokes there, Vee, he said, noticing that I’d begun to shut down. I wouldn’t make the offer if I didn’t trust the fuckers with my little sister.

I swallowed hard. I know.

You can stay in the office and do your shit. You don’t need to come down into the gym. Not until you’re ready.

I let the idea roll around in my brain for a moment. I couldn’t see myself going out to job interviews. Prospective employers would take one look at scared, little, Violet Fuller and consider her a flight risk.

You can start on Monday, he said, watching me think. No pressure. Take the weekend to think about it.

Really? I asked, beginning to think it might be a good idea since he was my brother and all. Working for someone I knew and trusted was a good idea…

Fuckin’ really, he said with a chuckle. Ren could use the help. She’s not much for office work.

I smiled, beginning to get used to the idea. No, she isn’t.

My brother’s girlfriend was a fighter through and through. The thought of the lean, muscled cage fighter sitting at a computer typing out budget reports was almost comical.

I do have one condition.

I groaned, already knowing where this was headed. What?

You have to come to the opening party Friday night.

"Ash." Parties equaled dresses, eyes, people…cameras. I felt like hyperventilating at the thought. Who knew what would happen once I was actually there.

Please, Violet, he said. It’d mean a lot to me. You know how much work I put into the gym. I want you to be there. You can even cut the bloody ribbon.

I drew my knees up to my chest. Can I think about it? I didn’t want to disappoint him if my anxiety got too much for me to handle.

He leaned against me, throwing a big arm around my shoulders. Sure thing. Like I said, no pressure.

Letting my head fall against his shoulder, I sighed. Thanks.

You know I won’t let it slide for long, he murmured. Remember that time you went to face Ren at Beat? You stared down an angry as fuck Spitfire to get her to come see me.

I smiled, knowing it was past time that he had brought it up. When he was stuck here on house arrest, he’d spiraled into depression, and I’d known the only thing that would get him out was Ren, so I’d sucked it up and ventured to Beat in Brunswick and sought her out. She’d been pissed alright. Ash had hurt her by trying to do the right thing, and she was as wild as anything. If I could face a broken-hearted cage fighter, maybe I could do this.

I pushed away from him, and his arm dropped. I…I just need to think about it a little. Get used to the idea is all.

Ash frowned and peered at me for a moment before he pushed to his feet. Sure thing, squirt.

Fucking puke, I retorted.

He laughed before shoving a hand through his hair. I’m going to hit the gym for a while.

I waved him off, opening my book again. Alright, piss off then. I’m up to a good bit.

Ash shook his head and sauntered from the room. I knew he always had my best interests at heart, but sometimes he laid it on a bit thick.

When I heard the door to the gym close, I rose from the couch and went upstairs to my room. This was my safe haven, these four walls. I had a large bookshelf along one wall, filled with paperbacks of all my favorite authors. I liked the rows upon rows of spines, the colors and names all lined up… Ash had brought me an e-reader, but it wasn’t the same as flicking through the pages.

I had a TV on the wall at the foot of the bed, all hooked up to the Internet so I could watch Netflix until my eyes bled. Windows lined the other wall and a door at the opposite end led to the en suite and a walk-in wardrobe. As I said, it was my safe haven.

Setting my current book on the end of my bed, I strolled into the bathroom. Turning on the tap, I splashed water over my face in an attempt to chase the anxiety away. Sometimes it worked, other times it didn’t and I had to resort to the breathing techniques that Dr. Ormond gave to me. I wasn’t as bad as I used to be, but I wasn’t so sure that once I went out there I wouldn’t slide. I was afraid of being afraid. Stupid, right? There were so many normal things I was missing out on. Parties for one. Boys…or at my age, I should say men. Twenty-four years old and still referring to guys as boys.

Staring into the mirror, I ran my fingers over my face. I wasn’t ugly, but I wasn’t beautiful either. I was plain, and the only thing I had going for me was the fact I had a diploma in Business Accounting and Management. Real dateable material. I read all those romance novels and a lot of them had recurring themes. Broken people falling in love and healing each other. It had happened to Ash, so was I a fool for hoping that it would happen to me?

The only way I’d find out for sure was if I started going outside the house. Nobody was going to find me here because real life wasn’t a fairy tale. I had to heal myself since no random prince charming was going to wander by and just knock on the door.

A loud buzz from the intercom interrupted my thoughts, making me jump. My heart thumped as I walked out of the bathroom and over to the little box on my bedroom wall. My hand shook as I pressed the button. Yeah?

Parcel Post, a man’s voice replied. I’ve got a package for Violet Fuller?

I pressed the buzzer to let him in the gate. I’ll be right down.

Knowing Ash was in the gym and couldn’t hear, I bounded down the stairs to the front door. Opening the door a crack, I held my hand out for the little handheld machine to sign. I recognized the guy from the last delivery, and this time, he didn’t bat an eye at my strange behavior. He dropped the box on the doorstep as I scrawled my name on the screen and handed it back to him.

I waited until he was through the gate before I opened the door and scooped up the parcel. Yeah, I had problems alright.

Carrying the box through the house, I dumped it onto the kitchen counter and promptly ripped it open. I pulled out the pile of books I’d ordered and stacked them in a neat tower. Second chance romances, paranormal, bikers, rock stars…they all sat on my kitchen bench taunting me. That kind of love wasn’t real, I got that, but it was an omen. The universe was flinging it in my face and smooshing it around, just to make sure I got it through my thick skull. I had to get out of the house or wither away in darkness.

Taking a deep breath, I left the books behind and walked into the gym, watching Ash beat the punching bag that hung from the roof. He had so much energy that most times he had trouble burning it off.

Sup? he called, catching sight of me.

Swallowing my fear, I said, I’ll take it.

Huh? He leaned forward, placing a hand behind his ear and pretended he couldn’t hear.

Taking a few steps into the gym, I repeated myself, knowing he was taking the piss. I’ll take the job.

He bounded across the mat and scooped me up in his arms, squishing me against his sweaty chest. Ash was the only guy I’d let touch me and the only one I trusted, so I didn’t flinch when he pinned me against him.

Gross, I complained. You stink.

I’m so fuckin’ stoked, he exclaimed, setting me down. You won’t regret it.

I squirmed out of his grasp. You better pay me.

He ruffled my hair, the biggest grin on his face. Best paid admin assistant out there.

2

Lincoln

Staring off into space, the words that sealed my fate for the next six months repeated themselves in my head like a broken record.

Shoulder injury. Sidelined. No training. No fighting for at least six months.

Doctor’s bloody orders.

I sat in my car in the underground carpark at the Royal Melbourne Hospital and thumped my fists against the steering wheel. I’d felt the tear, I fucking felt it, and I kept fighting when I should’ve called time. I made the whole thing worse.

I guess that’s why Josie insisted I come back to Melbourne to get my follow-up scans. She’d been in cahoots with the AUFC doctors and knew I’d be out for a few months at least. This way I would be at home and not in Sydney, moping like a big fucking baby. Some PR manager, she was now acting like my mum.

My phone pinged with a text and I picked it up, glancing at the screen.

Dean: Call me when you get the deets, bro.

Dean was my identical twin. We were both tall with dirty brown hair, green eyes and hard jawlines, but there were slight differences that set us apart. I had a dimple whereas Dean didn’t, but temperament was the big difference. Dean was hotheaded and a fucking smart–ass, and I was often told I was the more sensible twin. Calm and collected. I thought about shit before I did it, whereas Dean just dove straight in and messed it up. Guess who the cleaner was. From childhood until now, nothing had changed.

Unlocking the screen on my phone, I called my brother, knowing that he’d want to know what the quacks said. We’d been inseparable in everything, even fighting and our pro careers, up until now. He was back in Sydney with Coach Miller and Josie, still on course for the season…and I was rotting here in Melbourne, away from all the action. It fucking burned.

He answered the call immediately.

What’d the Doc say? he asked without saying hello.

Six months.

Ouch.

I rolled my eyes. Thanks for the vote of confidence, bro.

Anytime. I wanted to punch the fucker already. Listen, he went on, they know their shit. If they say six months, then that’s how long it will take to get back into the cage. You wanna be at one hundred percent.

"Six months

Reviews for Crash

[josp-7 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

So it took me a bit to really get into it because I wasn't too sure about Ren. Did I like her? Did I not like her? At first it was hard to say, but as I read on I suppose I like her enough. I do like Ash. A troubled character who only knows how to channel his difficult emotions through anger and fighting. I like Ren and Ash together because they both seemed to try to help each other in a way nobody else has done before. And that really makes this a great story.Once everything got rolling, that ball didn't stop. Soon enough I was quickly turning page after page. It was that good. Especially that last, probably, 1/4 of the book. Now, I knew this was a series, but some books consider themselves a series even though they are made up of standalone books. So I thought that was where this series was headed because there are other characters I like that could have an interesting book as well like Josie, Lincoln, and Dean. However, this ends on a cliffhanger. A very, very good cliffhanger. I sat here with my mouth hanging open because I wanted to know what happens next!!! But now I am for sure one-clicking the next one because I need answers. Overall this is an awesome book that I recommend to people who like dangerous fighters who don't quite know how to control their anger, or even people with difficult pasts.