Bream Gives Me Hiccups: And Other Stories

By Jesse Eisenberg

From Academy Award-nominated Jesse Eisenberg comes a collection of hilarious stories that tackle the modern world from multiple yet equally absurd and poignant points of view.

     The series of stories that gives the book its unusual title are written from the point of view of a nine-year-old boy whose mother brings him to expensive Los Angeles restaurants so that she can bill her ex-husband for the meals. One story in the "Bream Gives Me Hiccups" series begins: "Last night, Mom and I went to Thanksgiving dinner at a Vegan family's house, which is kind of like going to Temple for Christmas. Mom said that Vegans are 'people that don't eat any meat or cheese or shave.'" Another series of stories are letters written by a university student to her high school counselor as she grows gradually more unhinged. Other stories imagine discussions in ancient Pompeii just before the volcanic eruption, explore the vagaries of post-gender-normative dating in New York City, and conjure up Alexander Graham Bell's first five phone calls: "Have you heard anything from Mabel? I've been calling her all day, she doesn't pick up! Yes, of course I dialed the right number--2!" Plus there is an email exchange between a boy and his girlfriend taken over by his sister who is obsessed with the Bosnian genocide, an ex-husband reviewing his wife's book online, and Marxist-Socialist jokes, including: "What do you get when you cross a Marxist with a Socialist? Two people who generally feel that the value of a commodity is equal to its socially necessary labor time." In different ways, the stories explore what it means to navigate the modern world, and are all illuminated by Eisenberg's ironic wit and fantastically funny and original voice.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Release date: Sep 8, 2015
• ISBN: 9780385683579

Reviews for Bream Gives Me Hiccups

[liscarey · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I had modest expectations for this book; it's a collection of short stories of the genre that thinks it isn't a genre, literary fiction. Very often, literary fiction seems to operate on the premise that because the world is familiar and real, the behavior of the people doesn't have to make sense.

The behavior of Eisenberg's characters does make sense, not by being sane and reasonable, but by reflecting real human emotions, motivations, desires, fears, insecurities. The first story is a nine-year-old boy, writing reviews of restaurants and other dining experiences that are really accounts of episodes in his emotional progress through the experience of learning to be the child of a single mother after his parents' divorce. He's working out what his relationship is with his mother, what it means to be best friends with Matthew, another child of a broken home, and whether or not his father was really "there," even before he left for Louisiana and married another woman.

Other stories involve a lot of adolescent angst, as a high school boy and his girlfriend, who is away at dance camp, exchange email over the course of the summer, or adult angst as a man, trying to become a writer while working temp jobs, finds himself pouring out his grief over his divorce into his fiction rather more explicitly than he intends. Yet another is a series of vignettes,in Pompeii, the day before Vesuvius erupts.

And the stories are funny. Not in a laugh out loud way, but, in a painful giggle escaping as the reader (or at least this reader) recognizes all too familiar emotions, even if the details of the experience are different.

Altogether, this is a delightful book. Recommended.

I received a free audio edition of this book from Audible, in exchange for an honest review.

[abycats_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Promising effort but I feel like I was being hit over the head whenever a significant point was being made. Would try this author again.

[fhudnell-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This collection of short stories started out well, but then got spottier as it progressed. I liked part one, consisting of restaurant reviews by a 9 year old boy. He was amazingly perceptive about relationships. I also liked all of the stories in the next two sections of the book - Family and History. There is a particularly funny email exchange between a couple, which is hijacked by the boy's sister discussing the Bosnian conflict. Then the book hit a low point for me, with a section about one of the more obnoxious college freshmen in history. There were some amusing bits, but she was just too over-the-top self involved for me. After that, it was very hit-or-miss. There were some stories that made me laugh out loud on the bus and other stories (like My Spam Plays Hard to Get) which I found unbearable. The author is obviously intelligent, and wants you to know it. He also shows a lot of potential. I'd be interested in reading more from him. Perhaps a longer, more focused piece that doesn't just blurt out every thought he has. I received a free copy of this book from the publisher.

[muddyboy · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A series of comedic short stories some creative and funny and others a little "too cute." One I particularly liked was :"Marv Albert is My Therapist" as whenever the main character speaks to his therapist he responds with the expressions of a basketball announcer (rejected, that was a foul, for instance) I also liked the one in which the main character's mother takes him around to a series of meals which he rates. Many of his stories begin one way and end totally the opposite. ie. This is why I love her (start) This is why I hate her (end) for instance.So it becomes kind of a formula.

[ellie.pelto · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

"Bream Gives Me Hiccups" is a collection of stories written by actor and playwright Jesse Eisenberg (Zombieland, The Social Network). Filled with stories both long and short, Eisenberg's book will make you think, cringe, and laugh. In one lengthy story, footnote-laden notes from psycho college freshman Harper Jablonski to her high school guidance counselor detail the challenges of roommates stealing ramen, teachers and whether they sexually assaulted you, and other college maladies.

One story is very specifically named "An Email Exchange with My First Girlfriend, Which at a Certain Point Is Taken Over by My Older Sister, a College Student Studying the Bosnian Genocide," which sounds like it will be haughty and pretentious ("Ugh, you don't know about the Bosnian Genocide? How uneducated of you!"), but Eisenberg knows how to make it entertaining and approachable. Other gems include "Restaurant Reviews from a Privileged Nine-Year-Old," "My Prescription Information Pamphlets as Written by My Father," and "A Marriage Counselor Tries to Heckle at a Knicks Game."

Full of funny, often dark humor, "Bream Gives Me Hiccups" will leave you laughing, then wondering if you should have laughed at that, then saying "Screw it, that's funny. I don't care how f**ked up it is."

Thanks to the author and the publisher for a copy of this book to review.

[mcelhra · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Jesse Eisenberg is a fantastic actor and hilarious when he is interviewed on talk-shows so I had high hopes for the audio book version of Bream Gives Me Hiccups, his debut short-story collection. It’s a mix of longer, more in depth short stories and vignettes, some of which are so short they are almost one-liners. The longer stories are witty, ironic and insightful. My favorite one was the series of letters written by a college freshman, severely lacking in self-awareness, to her high school guidance counselor. I was amazed at how well he captured the mind of a selfish teenage girl – and how well he sounded like one in his narration of the story.A lot of the vignettes are funny, stream of conscience musings. They were a fun, little break in between the longer stories. The audio book is largely narrated by Eisenberg with a few supporting characters. He is as amazing at narration as he is at acting. I think listening to him narrate the stories added another layer of fantastic on top of an already wonderful book. It exceeded my expectations for sure. I recommended it to everyone.

[hotforcool · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I received this book in exchange for an honest review.I’ve always liked Jesse Eisenberg, which is odd, because I can’t think of a movie I’ve seen him in that I actually enjoyed (except ‘The Village,’ which doesn’t count because he was in it for, what, two scenes?) But I’ve always liked him, his acting, despite the films, and I’ve also always enjoyed watching him do interviews or whatever. He comes across as so personable and maybe a little jittery, but fun and interesting, and I just like the way he tells a story.So I was pretty curious when I saw that he’d written this book. The thing is, you can never really tell whether a celebrity’s book is actually good or not just by the praise it gets- critics will always say ‘It’s freaking fantastic!’ even when it completely sucks, because no one wants to piss off a celebrity. And celebs do seem to get a lot of leeway in what they write about and how they write it, as opposed to regular people who have to play within a more defined set of rules. So, yeah, super curious- that was me.And the verdict is, it’s true- Jesse Eisenberg can actually write. Well. Really, really well. Confession time- I’m not a fan of short stories. You have to be really, really good to get me to even notice a short story, and then you still have to hold my attention in an incredible way to stop me from skimming through the book. There is, in fact, only one author I can think of who can do this for me on a regular basis. Shorts just don’t… grab me. Generally. So I tried to go into this with an open mind.But this was actually good, all the way through. It grabbed me from the very beginning and didn’t let go, even after the first story, all the way through until the end. I was always entertained, never bored, and I never felt the urge to skip any of the shorts or stories at all. I liked some pieces better than others. I think that’s to be expected in any collection. ‘Bream Gives Me Hiccups,’ the title track, so to speak, was my favorite, and I also inexplicably loved ‘Nick Garrett’s Review of Rachel Lowenstein’s New Book, Getting Away.’ Those two just really tunneled into my heart, in odd ways. I was less enamored with things like ‘My Roommate Stole My Ramen: Letters from a Frustrated Freshman,’ which was bizarre and just uncomfortable… but also weirdly fascinating and something, like the rest of the book, that I couldn’t stop reading.Jesse Eisenberg seems to have a pretty casual writing style- very loose, easy to slip into, comfortable, exciting. He wrote men and women equally well, and his voices were all so very believable- the narrator of the first story is a nine year old boy, and it was so well-written and honest and real, I actually thought maybe it was autobiographical (I’m pretty sure it’s not, though.) Jesse obviously isn’t afraid to tick anyone off or insult anyone- he lets his characters say exactly what’s on their minds, regardless of how incorrect or downright terrible it is, and he uses that style to get right into the heart of things, bluntly, but honestly. Sometimes the ideas he’s conveying skirt along the line between well-defined and heavy handed, so they’re almost, almost too much in your face, but they never quite cross it. Instead, you’re left with some excellent characters showing you just how they feel, conveying thoughts in a beautiful, articulate, but utterly unsubtle way. And it’s so blunt and right there, and most of the time, it works. Really well.I read a lot of books. And getting that kind of balance out of characters, saying what you want to say and never letting it feel forced, is one of the biggest challenges writers, even the best writers, face. You just don’t see it happen very often. But Jesse Eisenberg gets there. He’s sincerely talented.Now. Does he do some weird things that other writers would just never get away with? Yeah, he does. Like, there’s a whole section that’s called ‘Manageable Tongue Twisters,’ where he lists sentences like “Sally peddles fish exoskeletons down by the beach” and “Jimmy bifurcated corn, although I don’t really give a sh*t,” which is pretty funny, but… what do I do with that? He’s lucky- he gets to play around with ideas and thoughts and structure and most other writers don’t. It’s just, sometimes this playing around works really well for him, and sometimes it doesn’t. Never boring, like I said, just not always… I don’t know. Sometimes I was bowled over by the sentiment conveyed in a piece, and a lot of the time I laughed out loud, but sometimes, I was left wondering what, exactly, it was that I’d just read.I read this book all at once. I think it probably would have been better served if it was read one short or story at a time, though. Most of the pieces are only going to take you a handful of minutes to read anyway. And there are definitely some pieces I’d like to come back to that way. And some I probably won’t ever read again. All of it is worth reading, though. I was really pleasantly surprised by Jesse Eisenberg and ‘Bream Gives Me Hiccups.’ He’s a mature, talented writer and I’d be eager to read anything he comes up with in the future.

[reader1009-863136 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

humorous fiction/short stories. These are very sharp, a little sad, and a little mean (name-calling and poking fun of certain characters--intelligent readers are easily able to attribute that to the voice of the character narrating, but it still grates a little). If you aren't a fan of the New Yorker-style of pith, you likely won't enjoy this as much--I liked some of the stories but several of the other stories got really tiring, really quickly (fortunately you can always just skip those and start reading the next). I would not recommend this for a mainstream audience.

[randymetcalfe · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

If you’ve ever stumbled across a humorous piece on McSweeney’s or in The New Yorker with the by-line “Jesse Eisenberg” and wondered whether that might be the Jesse Eisenberg you’ve seen in The Social Network or failed to see in Richard Ayoade’s The Double, then this book will set the record straight. Yes, they are in fact one and the same person: intriguing actor and comic occasional writer. And by the evidence of this collection, Eisenberg could just as easily go full-time as a writer because these short items are consistently delightful. Eisenberg typically offers up a monologue in the voice of an awkward, put-upon and sometimes embarrassing narrator whether it be a 9-year-old restaurant review writer or an 18 year old student at a mid-western college. His narrators are always believable and often too silly for words (or just silly enough). Of course it is always a bit strange to read straight through what were written as occasional pieces published singly at some remove from each other. But in this case the proximity doesn’t harm the humour. I especially enjoyed the section on “Family” but everything here is excellent. Dip into it at your leisure or read it straight through. Either way you are sure to enjoy it.