Behind The Silence

By Heather Gudenkauf

It happens quietly one August morning. As dawn's shimmering light drenches the humid Iowa air, two families awaken to find their little girls have gone missing in the night.

Seven–year–old Calli Clark is sweet, gentle, a dreamer who suffers from selective mutism brought on by tragedy that pulled her deep into silence as a toddler.

Calli's mother, Antonia, tried to be the best mother she could within the confines of marriage to a mostly absent, often angry husband. Now, though she denies that her husband could be involved in the possible abductions, she fears her decision to stay in her marriage has cost her more than her daughter's voice.

Petra Gregory is Calli's best friend, her soul mate and her voice. But neither Petra nor Calli has been heard from since their disappearance was discovered.

Desperate to find his child, Martin Gregory is forced to confront a side of himself he did not know existed beneath his intellectual, professional demeanour. Now these families are tied by the question of what happened to their children. And the answer is trapped in the silence of unspoken family secrets.

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers Australia
• Release date: Sep 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781742927190

Heather Gudenkauf

Heather Gudenkauf is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of The Weight of Silence and Not a Sound. Heather lives in Iowa with her family.

Book preview

PROLOGUE

Antonia

Louis and I see you nearly at the same time. In the woods, through the bee trees whose heavy, sweet smell will forever remind me of this day, I see flashes of your pink summer nightgown that you wore to bed last night. My chest loosens and I am shaky with relief. I scarcely notice your scratched legs, muddy knees, or the chain in your hand. I reach out to gather you in my arms, to hold you so tight, to lay my cheek on your sweaty head. I will never wish for you to speak, never silently beg you to talk. You are here. But you step past me, not seeing me, you stop at Louis’s side, and I think, You don’t even see me, it’s Louis’s deputy sheriff’s uniform, good girl, that’s the smart thing to do. Louis lowers himself toward you, and I am fastened to the look on your face. I see your lips begin to arrange themselves and I know, I know. I see the word form, the syllables hardening and sliding from your mouth with no effort. Your voice, not unsure or hoarse from lack of use but clear and bold. One word, the first in three years. In an instant I have you in my arms and I am crying, tears dropping many emotions, mostly thankfulness and relief, but tears of sorrow mixed in. I see Petra’s father crumble. Your chosen word doesn’t make sense to me. But it doesn’t matter, I don’t care. You have finally spoken.

CALLI

Calli stirred in her bed. The heat of a steamy, Iowa August morning lay thick in her room, hanging sodden and heavy about her. She had kicked off the white chenille bedspread and sheets hours earlier, her pink cotton nightgown now bunched up around her waist. No breeze was blowing through her open, screened window. The moon hung low and its milky light lay supine on her floor, a dim, inadequate lantern. She awoke, vaguely aware of movement downstairs below her. Her father preparing to go fishing. Calli heard his solid, certain steps, so different from her mother’s quick, light tread, and Ben’s hesitant stride. She sat up among the puddle of bedclothes and stuffed animals, her bladder uncomfortably full, and squeezed her legs together, trying to will the urge to use the bathroom to retreat. Her home had only one bathroom, a pink-tiled room nearly half-filled with the scratched-up white claw-foot bathtub. Calli did not want to creep down the creaky steps, past the kitchen where her father was sure to be drinking his bitter-smelling coffee and putting his tackle box in order. The pressure on her bladder increased and Calli shifted her weight, trying to think of other things. She spotted her stack of supplies for the coming second-grade school year: brightly colored pencils, still long and flat-tipped; slim, crisp-edged folders; smooth rubber-scented pink erasers; a sixty-four-count box of crayons (the supply list called for a twenty-four count box, but Mom knew that this just would not do); and four spiral-bound notebooks, each a different color.

School had always been a mixture of pleasure and pain for Calli. She loved the smell of school, the dusty smell of old books and chalk. She loved the crunch of fall leaves beneath her new shoes as she walked to the bus stop, and she loved her teachers, every single one. But Calli knew that adults would gather in school conference rooms to discuss her: principal, psychologists, speech and language clinicians, special education and regular education teachers, behavior disorder teachers, school counselors, social workers. Why won’t Calli speak? Calli knew there were many phrases used to try to describe her—mentally challenged, autistic, on the spectrum, oppositional defiant, a selective mute. She was, in fact, quite bright. She could read and understand books several grade levels above her own.

In kindergarten, Miss Monroe, her energetic, first-year teacher whose straight brown hair and booming bass voice belied her pretty sorority girl looks, thought that Calli was just shy. Calli’s name didn’t come up to the Solution-Focus Education Team until December of Calli’s kindergarten year. And that didn’t occur until the school nurse, Mrs. White, after handing Calli a clean pair of socks, underwear and sweatpants for the second time in one week, discovered an unsettling pattern in Calli’s visits to the health office.

Didn’t you tell anyone you needed to use the restroom, Calli? Mrs. White asked in her low, kind voice.

No response, just Calli’s usual wide-eyed, flat expression gazing back at her.

Go on into the restroom and change your clothes, Calli, the nurse instructed. Make sure to wash yourself the best that you can. Flipping through her meticulous log documenting the date and time of each child’s visit to the health office, the ailment noted in her small, tight script—sore throats, bellyaches, scratches, bee stings. Calli’s name was notated nine times since August 29, the first day of school. Next to each entry the initials UA—for Urinary Accident. Mrs. White turned to Miss Monroe, who had escorted Calli to the office.

Michelle, this is Calli’s ninth bathroom accident this school year. Mrs. White paused, allowing Miss Monroe to respond. Silence. Does she go when the other kids do?

I don’t know, Miss Monroe replied, her voice tumbling under the bathroom door to where Calli was stepping out of her soiled clothing. I’m not sure. She gets plenty of chances to go…and she can always ask.

Well, I’m going to call her mom and recommend that she take Calli to the doctor, see if all this isn’t just a bladder infection or something else, Mrs. White responded in her cool, efficient manner that few questioned. Meanwhile, let her use the restroom whenever she wants, send her in anyway, even if she doesn’t need to.

Okay, but she can always ask. Miss Monroe turned and retreated.

Calli silently stepped from the office restroom garbed in a dry pair of pink sweatpants that pooled around her feet and sagged at her rear. In one hand she held a plastic grocery sack that contained her soaked Strawberry Shortcake underwear, jeans, socks and pink-and-white tennis shoes. The index finger of her other hand absently twirled her chestnut-colored hair.

Mrs. White bent down to Calli’s eye level. Do you have gym shoes to put on, Calli?

Calli looked down at her toes, now clad in dingy, office-issued athletic socks so worn she could see the peachy flesh of her big toe and the Vamp Red nail polish her mother had dabbed on each pearly toenail the night before.

Calli, Mrs. White repeated, do you have gym shoes to put on?

Calli regarded Mrs. White, pursed her thin lips together and nodded her head.

Okay, Calli, Mrs. White’s voice took on a tender tone. Go put on your shoes and put the bag in your book bag. I’m going to call your mother. Now, you’re not in trouble. I see you’ve had several accidents this year. I just want your mom to be aware, okay?

Mrs. White carefully searched Calli’s winter-kissed face. Calli’s attention was then drawn to the vision eye chart and its ever-shrinking letters on the wall of the institutional-white health office.

After the Solution-Focus Team of educators met and tested Calli and reviewed the data, there appeared to be nothing physically wrong with her. Options were discussed and debated, and after several weeks it was decided to teach her the American Sign Language sign for bathroom and other key words, have her meet weekly with the school counselor, and patiently wait for Calli to speak. They continued to wait.

Calli climbed out of bed, carefully picked up each of her new school supplies and laid out the items on her small pine desk as she planned to in her new desk in her classroom on the first day of second grade. Big things on the bottom, small things on top, pencils and pens stowed neatly away in her new green pencil case.

The need to urinate became an ache, and she considered relieving herself in her white plastic trash can beside her desk, but knew she would not be able to clean it without her mother or Ben noticing. If her mother found a pool of pee in her wastebasket, Calli knew she would fret endlessly as to what was going on inside her head. Never-ending yes-no questions would follow. Was someone in the bathroom and you couldn’t wait? Were you playing a game with Petra? Are you mad at me, Calli? She also considered climbing out her second-story window down the trellis, now tangled with white moonflowers as big as her hand. She discounted this idea, as well. She wasn’t sure how to remove the screen, and if her mother caught her midclimb she would be of a mind to nail Calli’s window shut and Calli loved having her window open at night. On rainy evenings Calli would press her nose to the screen, feel the bounce of raindrops against her cheeks, and smell the dusty sunburned grass as it swallowed the newly fallen rain. Calli did not want her mother to worry more than she did not want to have her father’s attention drawn to her as she made her way down the stairs to use the bathroom.

Calli slowly opened her bedroom door and peeked around the door. She stepped cautiously out of her room and into the short hallway where it was darker, the air staler and weightier. Directly across from Calli’s room was Ben’s room, a twin of her own, whose window faced the backyard and Willow Creek Woods. Ben’s door was shut, as was her parents’ bedroom door. Calli paused at the top of the steps, straining to hear her father’s movements. Silence. Maybe he had left for his fishing trip already. Calli was hopeful. Her father was leaving with his friend Roger to go fishing at the far eastern edge of the county, along the Mississippi River, some eighty miles away. Roger was picking him up that morning and they would be gone for three days. Calli felt a twinge of guilt in wishing her father away, but life was so much more peaceful with just the three of them.

Each morning that he was sitting in the kitchen brought a different man to them. Some days he was happy, and he would set her on his lap and rub his scratchy red whiskers on her cheek to make her smile. He would kiss Mom and hand her a cup of coffee and he would invite Ben to go into town with him. On these days her daddy would talk in endless streams, his voice light and full of something close to tenderness. Some days he would be at the scarred kitchen table with his forehead in his hands, empty beer cans tossed carelessly in the sink and on the brown-speckled laminate countertops. On these days Calli would tiptoe through the kitchen and quietly close the screen door behind her and then dash into the Willow Creek Woods to play along the creek bed or on the limbs of fallen trees. Periodically, Calli would return to the edge of their meadow to see if her father’s truck had gone. If it was missing, Calli would return home where the beer cans had been removed and the yeasty, sweaty smell of her father’s binge had been scrubbed away. If the truck remained, Calli would retreat to the woods until hunger or the day’s heat forced her home.

More silence. Encouraged that he was gone, Calli descended the stairs, carefully stepping over the fourth step that creaked. The bulb from above the kitchen stove cast a ghostly light that spilled onto the bottom of the stairs. She just needed to take two large steps past the kitchen entry and she would be at the bathroom. Calli, at the bottom step, her toes curled over the edge, squeezed the hardwood tightly, pulled her nightgown to above her knees to make possible a bigger step. One step, a furtive glance into the kitchen. No one there. Another step, past the kitchen, her hand on the cool metal doorknob of the bathroom, twisting.

Calli! a gruff whisper called out. Callie stilled. Calli! Come out here!

Calli’s hand dropped from the doorknob and she turned to follow the low sound of her father’s voice. The kitchen was empty, but the screen door was open, and she saw the outline of his wide shoulders in the dim early morning. He was sitting on the low concrete step outside, a fog of cigarette smoke and hot coffee intermingling and rising above his head.

Come out here, Calli-girl. What’cha doing up so early? he asked, not unkindly. Calli pushed open the screen door, careful not to run the door into his back; she squeezed through the opening and stood next to her father.

Why ya up, Calli, bad dream? Griff looked up at her from where he was sitting, a look of genuine concern on his face.

She shook her head no and made the sign for bathroom, the need for which had momentarily fled.

What’s that? Can’t hear ya. He laughed. Speak a little louder. Oh, yeah, you don’t talk. And at that moment his face shifted into a sneer. You gotta use the sign language. He abruptly stood and twisted his hands and arms in a grotesque mockery of Calli. Can’t talk like a normal kid, got be all dumb like some kind of retard! Griff’s voice was rising.

Calli’s eyes slid to the ground where a dozen or so crushed beer cans littered the ground and the need to pee returned full force. She glanced up to her mother’s bedroom window; the curtains still, no comforting face looked down on her.

Can’t talk, huh? Bullshit! You talked before. You used to say, ‘Daddy, Daddy,’ ‘specially when you wanted something. Now I got a stupid retard for a daughter. Probably you’re not even mine. You got that deputy sheriff’s eyes. He bent down, his gray-green eyes peered into hers and she squeezed them tightly shut.

In the distance she heard tires on gravel, the sharp crunch and pop of someone approaching. Roger. Calli opened her eyes as Roger’s four-wheel-drive truck came down the lane and pulled up next to them.

Hey, there. Mornin’, you two. How are you doing, Miss Calli? Roger tipped his chin to Calli, not really looking at her, not expecting a response. Ready to go fishing, Griff?

Roger Hogan was Griff’s best friend from high school. He was short and wide, his great stomach spilling over his pants. A foreman at the local meat packing plant, he begged Griff every time he came home from the pipeline to stay home for good. He could get Griff in at the factory, too. It’d be just like old times, he’d add.

Morning, Rog, Griff remarked, his voice cheerful, his eyes mean slits. I’m goin’ to have you drive on ahead without me, Roger. Calli had a bad dream. I’m just going to sit here with her awhile until she feels better, make sure she gets off to sleep again.

Aw, Griff, whined Roger. Can’t her mother do that? We’ve been planning this for months.

"No, no. A girl needs her daddy, don’t she, Calli? A daddy she can rely on to help her through those tough times. Her daddy should be there for her, don’t you think, Rog? So Calli’s gonna spend some time with her good ol’ daddy, whether she wants to or not. But you want to, don’t you, Calli?"

Calli’s stomach wrenched tighter with each of her father’s utterances of the word daddy. She longed to run into the house and wake up her mother, but while Griff spewed hate from his mouth toward Calli when he’d been drinking, he’d never actually really hurt her. Ben, yes. Mom, yes. Not Calli.

I’ll just throw my stuff in your truck, Rog, and meet up with you at the cabin this afternoon. There’ll be plenty of good fishing tonight, and I’ll pick up some more beer for us on the way. Griff picked up his green duffel and tossed it into the back of the truck. More carefully he laid his fishing gear, poles and tackle into the bed of the truck. I’ll see ya soon, Roger.

Okay, I’ll see you later then. You sure you can find the way?

Yeah, yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be there. You can get a head start on catching those fish. You’re gonna need it, ‘cause I’m going to whip your butt!

We’ll just see about that! Roger guffawed and squealed away.

Griff made his way back to where Calli was standing, her arms wrapped around herself despite the heat.

"Now how about a little bit of daddy time, Calli? The deputy sheriff don’t live too far from here, now, does he? Just through the woods there, huh?" Her father grabbed her by the arm and her bladder released, sending a steady stream of urine down her leg as he pulled her toward the woods.

PETRA

I can’t sleep, again. It’s too hot, my necklace is sticking to my neck. I’m sitting on the floor in front of the electric fan, and the cool air feels good against my face. Very quiet I am talking into the fan so I can hear the buzzy, low voice it blows back at me. I am Petra, Princess of the World, I say. I hear something outside my window and for a minute I am scared and want to go wake up Mom and Dad. I crawl across my carpet on my hands, the rug rubbing against my knees all rough. I peek out the window and in the dark I think I see someone looking up at me, big and scary. Then I see something smaller at his side. Oh, I’m not scared anymore. I know them. I think, Wait, I’m coming, too! For a second I think I shouldn’t go. But there is a grown-up out there, too. Mom and Dad can’t get mad at me if there’s a grown-up. I pull on my tennis shoes and sneak out of my room. I’ll just go say hi, and come right back in.

CALLI

Calli and her father had been walking for a while now, but Calli knew exactly where they were and where they were not within the sprawling woods. They were near Beggar’s Bluff Trail, where pink-tipped turtleheads grew in among the ferns and rushes and where Calli would often see sleek, beautiful horses carrying their owners gracefully through the forest. Calli wished that a cinnamon-colored mare or a black-splotched Appaloosa would crash from the trees, startling her father back to his senses. But it was Thursday and Calli rarely encountered another person on the trails near her home during the week. There was a slight chance that they would run into a park ranger, but the rangers had over thirty miles of trails to monitor and maintain. Calli knew she was on her own and resigned herself to being dragged through the forest with her father. They were nowhere near Deputy Sheriff Louis’s home. Calli could not decide whether this was a good thing or not. Bad because her father showed no indication of giving up his search and Calli’s bare feet were scratched from being pulled across rocky, uneven paths. Good because if they ever did get to Deputy Louis’s home her father would say unforgivable things and then Louis would, in his calm low voice, try to quiet him and then call Calli’s mother. His wife would be standing in the doorway behind him, her arms crossed, eyes darting furtively around to see who was watching the spectacle.

Her father did not look well. His face was white, the color of bloodroot, the delicate early spring flower that her mother showed to her on their walks in the woods, his coppery hair the color of the red sap from its broken roots. Periodically stumbling over an exposed root, he continued to clutch Calli’s arm, all the time muttering under his breath. Calli was biding her time, waiting for the perfect moment to bolt, to run back home to her mother.

They were approaching a clearing named Willow Wallow. Arranged in a perfect half-moon adjacent to the creek was an arc of seven weeping willows. It was said that the seven willows were brought to the area by a French settler, a friend of Napoleon Bonaparte, the willows a gift from the great general, the wispy trees being his favorite.

Calli’s mother was the kind of mother who would climb trees with her children and sit among the branches, telling them stories about her great-great-grandparents who immigrated to the United States from Czechoslovakia in the 1800s. She would pack the three of them a lunch of peanut butter fluff sandwiches and apples and they would walk down to Willow Creek. They would hop across the slick, moss-covered rocks that dotted the width of the creek. Antonia would lay an old blanket under the long, lacy branches of a willow tree and they would crawl into its shade, ropy tendrils surrounding them like a cloak. There the willows would become huts on a deserted island; Ben, back when he had time for them, was the brave sailor; Calli, his dependable first mate; Antonia, the pirate chasing them, calling out with a bad cockney accent. Ya landlubbers, surrender an’ ya won’ haf to walk da plank!

Never! Ben yelled back. You’ll have to feed us to the sharks before we surrender to the likes of you, Barnacle Bart!

So be it! Prepare ta swim wid da fishes! Antonia bellowed, flourishing a stick.

Run, Calli! Ben screeched and Calli would. Her long pale legs shadowed with bruises from climbing trees and skirting fences, Calli would run until Antonia would double over, hands on her knees.

Truce, truce! Antonia would beg. The three of them would retreat to their willow hut and rest, sipping soda as the sweat cooled on their necks. Antonia’s laugh bubbled up from low in her chest, unfettered and joyous. She would toss her head back and close eyes that were just beginning to show the creases of age and disappointment. When Antonia laughed, those around her did, too, except for Calli. Calli hadn’t laughed for a long time. She smiled her sweet, close-lipped grin, but an actual giggle, which once was emitted freely and sounded of chimes, never came, though she knew her mother waited expectantly.

Antonia was the kind of mother who let you eat sugar cereal for Sunday supper and pizza for breakfast. She was the kind of mom who, on rainy nights, would declare it Spa Night and in a French accent welcome you to Toni’s House of Beauty. She would fill the old claw-foot bathtub full of warm, lilac-scented bubbles and then, after rubbing you dry with an oversize white towel, would paint your toenails Wicked Red, or mousse and gel your hair until it stood at attention in three-inch spikes.

Griff, on the other hand, was the kind of father who drank Bud Light for breakfast and dragged his seven-year-old daughter through the forest in a drunken search for his version of the truth. The sun beginning to rise, Griff sat the two of them down beneath one of the willow trees to rest.

MARTIN

I can feel Fielda’s face against my back, her arm wrapped around my ever-growing middle. It’s too hot to lie in this manner, but I don’t nudge her away from me. Even if I was in Dante’s Inferno, I could not push Fielda away from me. We have only been apart two instances since our marriage fourteen years ago and both times seemed too much for me to bear. The second time that Fielda and I were apart I do not speak about. The first separation was nine months after our wedding and I went to a conference on economics at the University of Chicago. I remember lying in the hotel on my lumpy bed with its stiff, scratchy comforter, wishing for Fielda. I felt weightless without her there, that without her arm thrown carelessly over me in sleep, I could just float away like milkweed on a random wind. After that lonely night I forewent the rest of my seminars and came home.

Fielda laughed at me for being homesick, but I know she was secretly pleased. She came to me late in my life, a young, brassy girl of eighteen. I was forty-two and wed to my job as a professor of economics at St. Gilianus College, a private college with an enrollment of twelve hundred students in Willow Creek. No, she was not a student; many have asked this question with a light, accusatory tone. I met Fielda Mourning when she was a waitress at her family’s café, Mourning Glory. On my way to the college each day I would stop in at the Mourning Glory for a cup of coffee and a muffin and to read my newspaper in a sun-drenched corner of the café. I remember Fielda, in those days, as being very solicitous and gracious to me, the coffee, piping hot, and the muffin sliced in half with sweet butter on the side. I must admit, I took this considerate service for granted, believing that Fielda treated all her patrons in this manner. It was not until one wintry morning, about a year after I started coming to the Mourning Glory, that Fielda stomped up to me, one hand on her ample hip, the other hand holding my cup of coffee.

What, Fielda shrilly aimed at me, does a girl have to do in order to get your attention? She banged the cup down in front of me, my glasses leaping on my nose in surprise, coffee sloshing all over the table.

Before I could splutter a response, she had retreated and then reappeared, this time with my muffin that she promptly tossed at me. It bounced off my chest, flaky crumbs of orange poppy seed clinging to my tie. Fielda ran from the café and her mother, a softer, more care-worn version of Fielda, sauntered up to me. Rolling her eyes heavenward, she sighed. Go on out there and talk to her, Mr. Gregory. She’s been pining over you for months. Either put her out of her misery or ask her to marry you. I need to get some sleep at night.

I did go out after Fielda and we were married a month later.

Lying there in our bed, the August morning already sweeping my skin with its prickly heat, I twist around, find Fielda’s slack cheek in the darkness and kiss it. I slide out of bed and out of the room. I stop at Petra’s door. It is slightly open and I can hear the whir of her fan. I gently push the door forward and step into her room, a place so full of little girl whimsy that it never fails to make me pause. The carefully arranged collections of pinecones, acorns, leaves, feathers and rocks all expertly excavated from our backyard at the edge of Willow Creek Woods. The baby dolls, stuffed dogs and bears all tucked lovingly under blankets fashioned from washcloths and arranged around her sleeping form. The little girl perfume, a combination of lavender-scented shampoo, green grass and perspiration that holds only the enzymes of the innocent, overwhelms me every time I cross this threshold. My eyes begin to adjust to the dark and I see that Petra is not in her bed. I am not alarmed; Petra often has bouts of insomnia and skulks downstairs to the living room to watch television.

I, too, go downstairs, but very quickly I know that Petra is not watching television. The house is quiet, no droning

Reviews for Behind The Silence

[rdra1962 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A terrifying subject for any parent,(children go missing from their beds,overnight) and yet because the book is told from the point of view of many characters, it is both suspenseful and not. We are given a lot of information and still there is tension and if not surprise, an element of the unknown. Read this book when you can run through it in one sitting, there is no good point to put it down.

[carol420 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

From Book Cover:

It happens quietly one August morning. As dawn's shimmering light drenches the humid Iowa air, two families awaken to find their little girls have gone missing in the night. Seven-year-old Calli Clark is sweet, gentle, a dreamer who suffers from selective mutism brought on by tragedy that pulled her deep into silence as a toddler.

Calli's mother, Antonia, tried to be the best mother she could within the confines of marriage to a mostly absent, often angry husband. Now, though she denies that her husband could be involved in the possible abductions, she fears her decision to stay in her marriage has cost her more than her daughter's voice. Petra Gregory is Calli's best friend, her soul mate and her voice. But neither Petra nor Calli has been heard from since their disappearance was discovered. Desperate to find his child, Martin Gregory is forced to confront a side of himself he did not know existed beneath his intellectual, professorial demeanor. Now these families are tied by the question of what happened to their children. And the answer is trapped in the silence of unspoken family secrets.

My Thoughts:

Alternating viewpoints from each character and relatively short chapters kept this novel moving along. Heather Gudenkauf doesn't just "write" a story...she "weaves" an interesting, and an "it could happen to any family" saga. The characters were all damaged to some degree by life and by bad and questionable choices but each wanted to make everything right again but just didn't seem to have the know-how to accomplish that. The author gives just enough information that the reader can "almost " guess "who done it" but some good twists at the end. 4 Stars and I will be looking for more of Heather Gudenkauf's books.

[ridgewaygirl · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Can I just start out by telling you that this is a terrible book? I'm going to be as nice as I can, but I only finished it because I was reading it with a friend and also I have a problem getting rid of books I haven't entirely read, and I wanted to get this one safely out of the house. So, the basic plot of the book is that two seven-year-old girls go missing early one morning from their small Iowa town. They are best friends and both live in houses that back onto a large forest. Petra is the only child of a middle-aged professor and his younger wife, who struggled for years to have a baby. Calli is the daughter of an abusive alcoholic father and a negligent, but loving mother who has a lot of issues. Calli has also not spoken since she was four and no one knows why, primarily because no one has tried to find treatment for her, although the school does send her to the guidance counselor a few times a week. The deputy in charge of the investigation had a long relationship with Calli's mother before they both married other people and they have a lot of unresolved feelings for each other. The story is told in very short chapters, switching between several points of view, making this book quite a bit shorter than its page count indicates. Luckily, the name of the person narrating is put up at the top of each segment in large letters, because the voice never alters. The seven-year-old girl sounds exactly like the middle-aged professor who sounds exactly like the under-educated mother. One of the girls has a third person narration, for no purpose I can fathom. There are several weighty issues dealt with in this book, from spousal abuse to child abuse to selective mutism to kidnapping to assault to alcoholism, but since there is so little room to explore each issue, you don't have to worry about taking any of them seriously and, indeed, the characters themselves don't worry about things too much. Are you wondering if I liked anything about this book? The cover was nice. I mean, it's a standard illustration, featuring the torso of a young girl facing away from the camera, but the clothes and the age of the girl actually correspond with a character in the book and it's a pretty picture. That was good. There was nothing really objectionable in the book; it didn't espouse satanism or have much in the way of swear words, which is something of an accomplishment considering one of the narrators was a twelve-year-old boy. The crime scene people were very tidy, which is nice because who wants to clean up fingerprint dust, right? They also don't find any clues, which are obvious and left to a parent to find, which means they may not have done the best job, but I really hate dusting and would not want to be having to worry about the parents here having to vacuum while their daughters were missing, so it was considerate of them. I think I, personally, might have wanted hundreds of law enforcement officers marching around my home in muddy boots if one of my children had disappeared, but the characters here seemed fine with the half dozen officers mentioned in this book, wandering around, talking about starting a search tomorrow sometime, so who am I to judge? Also, if the police had done their job, the thrilling climax would have been avoided entirely, and we all know that a thriller-like book needs a thrilling and dangerous climax.

[theageofsilt · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

What is with these characters with mutism? It seems like such a plot device. I've never met or actually even heard of a real person with this condition. I've met many deaf people and they all tried to communicate verbally with people who don't sign. Maybe people who are profoundly autistic, but they have issues beyond mutism. I did not find these characters or the situation credible.

[obridget1-1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Its a bit sad and hard to read but a good book..It was a lot better than I expected it to be...I had tried to put it down a few times but wouldnt let me....

[jnut1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This book is about 2 girls that go missing and the people involved.

This is told my many people per chapter.

I liked some of her other books better than this one.

[bridgetsbooknook · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Its a bit sad and hard to read but a good book..It was a lot better than I expected it to be...I had tried to put it down a few times but wouldnt let me....

[thewallflower-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I had immediate sympathy for the main character before I opened to page one, because she suffers from selective mutism (not mutantism, which is something different. Learn the difference between the two or you will be sorely disappointed). I have a form of mutism wherein I simply have nothing to say, and everyone thinks I'm mute. But we're not here to talk about me.My biggest problem with the novel is that it goes against good writing choices, and not in the "I know the rules so I can break the rules" way. There's a prologue which is totally unnecessary and only confuses the reader. And the prologue is actually a scene in the middle of the book, so it spoils as it repeats. It introduces characters before they're introduced and does nothing to enhance the story.Then the main plot keeps getting shoved to the background so that it can tell the stories of all the peripheral characters. The perspective switches each chapter, which is fine, except that instead of focusing on what they do during the present day, they keep ruminating on all the crap that happened in the past -- all their relationships, all their mistakes and regrets that really don't have anything to do with the story. Instead of finding the missing child, we hear about how the deputy and the mother were once romantically involved, until, for no good reason whatsoever, she married an stereotypical alcoholic trucker redneck. Everyone's so busy remembering, the story stands in the middle, being unresolved. It's exactly what they say not to do in writing.Also, how did the mom who was so sweet and apparently raised correctly enough to be ready marry a sweet, college-bound guy, end up marrying an alcoholic named Griff. Her past does not reconcile to her future, and as an avid Loveline listener, I know these things. Always avoid people named Griff. Remember: Cafe 80's, guy named Griff, just say no.The story is not terribly complex. It seems like a beach or airplane read. It's a simple story more focused on memories and memoir-based vignettes. The ending is not particularly thrilling and everything wraps up in a neat little package by the end. The bad guy dies. The mute becomes unmute. And everyone gets what they want. I didn't feel like anyone changed by the end of the story. Their mistakes were obvious to me, but it didn't look like anyone learned anything from the experience. So it's hard whether to recommend a read or a skip for this one.

[jeb5 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

When two young girls go missing the families must come to terms with their past in order to help their girls. For one family that means coming to terms with an alcoholic and abusive father, for the other family that means learning to rely on others to help. When one of the girls reappears the police and others must use some creativity to figure out what happened other girl.

Gudenkauf uses multiple perspectives to explore child kidnappings, selective mutism, friendship, and the importance of family. She is capable of entering into a young girl's mind and portraying the world through her eyes and her writing captures more than just the plot but also every intervening emotion. She has taken a difficult situation and written a book about love, friendship, and survival - emphasizing the strength of family and friends and their importance in daily life. A heart-wrenching tale, "The Weight of Silence" is incredibly detailed and well-crafted.

[acleveland_14 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

i saw where this book was going in the end but i didnt have any idea how it would pan out which is why i didnt give it five stars.the character ben is just amazing for everything that he does for his little sister. how he speaks up for her when she herself cannot talk. how he would play with her and become her best friend.some of the characters in mthis book did get under my skin but if some of them didnt then it wouldnt be a good book right? i would recommend everyone to read this book. i couldnt stop reading it i read it in one day

[super_nicola · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this book so much i bought her other book. 4/5 stars from me. At times i found this book predictable but i enjoyed it none the less.

[lucybird_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The Weight of Silence is described in more than one place as a book Jodi Picoult fans will love. Well I’m a Jodi Picoult fan, but to be honest that’s not something that would make me want to read a book, what’s the point of reading a book that’s like a book you have already read, I don’t know. I can certainly see the comparison between Gundenkauf and Picoult, they have very similar writing styles and both seem to like using multiple narrators. However that’s where the comparison really ends. While Pioult’s books tend to have some central moral issue which gets the reader thinking there was no such issue in Weight of Silence. I suppose it is similar in the way we see different emotions and views of an event, but there is no internal debate.I did enjoy it all the same. It was actually a little bit of a mystery as we tried to work out what had happened to Petra (we are basically told what happened to Calli, or at least to a certain point). I admit that I did expect Calli’s mutism to be more of a central theme but really, while it was an interesting aspect, it didn’t seem necessary [highlight for spoiler]and where it could have mattered it didn’t that much. Nobody thought that Calli’s brother had actually hurt Petra, even though that was all she said. Calli’s big moment could have been done so much better and given a twist in the plot, or even just taken the reader in another direction. I did also guess what I think was meant to be a twist in the story [highlight for spoiler] and quite early on suspected Lucky. I really wasn’t surprised when we found out for sure it was him.The story was quite moving though, but not to the level where I felt uncomfortable reading it (I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not). It was very readable, in that it was written in an easy way to read and in that I wanted to find out what happened next. I also really liked how Calli’s chapters were written in the third person rather than her own voice (as the other chapters were) which suggested she couldn’t tell her story.

[tiffy_reads · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Very good book. Well told and I loved all the suspense.. #bookclub #greatread

[dldbizacct · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The pace of this book was amazing. As another reviewer warned, find a time to read it in one sitting because you will not want to put it down. I did not heed her advice and found myself at 2 am with only a couple of chapters to go and unable to keep my eyes open. I don't have much else to say that hasn't already been said by other reviewers; I thoroughly enjoyed this book and highly recommend it.

[nancynova · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Seven year old Calli is a selective mute - she stopped speaking when she was 4 years old, and there's nothing wrong with her that anyone can tell. But slowly the author pulls back the layers of the dysfunctional family to isolate what caused her to become mute

[moonshineandrosefire · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

It happens quietly one August morning. As the sun rises, and dawn's shimmering light inundates the humid Iowa air, two families awaken to every parent's worst nightmare: their little girls have gone missing during the night. Calli Clark is a sweet, gentle dreamer of seven who suffers from selective mutism - a condition brought on by a tragedy that pulled her deep into silence as a toddler. Calli's mother, Antonia, tried to be the best mother she could within the confines of marriage to a mostly absent, often angry husband. Now, though she denies that her husband could be involved in the possible abductions, she fears her decision to stay in her marriage has ultimately cost her more than her daughter's voice.Petra Gregory is also seven years old; Calli's best friend, her soul mate and her voice. But neither Petra nor Calli has been heard from since their disappearance was discovered. Desperate to find his daughter, Martin Gregory is forced to confront a side of himself he never even knew existed beneath his intellectual, professorial demeanor.Now these families are tied together by the question of what happened to their children. And the answer is trapped in the silence of unspoken family secrets. I found that this book was beautifully written, and the plot was convoluted enough to keep me intrigued throughout the story. I give this book an A+! and will certainly be keeping my eyes open for Heather Gudenkauf's next two books: These Things Hidden and One Breath Away. This was such a wonderful debut, that I'm immediately putting both books on my Wish List.

[pamv-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I loved this book. I loved the way the chapters were presented featuring each character and thier version of the event that is being described.

This is the story of a young girl who stops talking for no apparent reason. She is able to communicate with friends and family quite well, but does not talk. As the story unfolds through a series of traumatic events we come to understand why Calli stopped talking and what it took to make her able to speak again.

This is a wonderful book and the second book by this author and i will be looking for more. I highly recommend Heather Gudenkauf!

[tfs93 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This one was hard to read. You just wanted to reach in and slap the dad, and the mom too. The author certainly had my emotions at the surface. It would have been nice to know what happened to the other girl from their town, but it wasn't central to the story so I guess it wasn't necessary.

[dama1211 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I really liked who the chapters were narrated by different characters. It kept me interested to see what the characters were going to say since they were so different. I was shocked by the ending, but i still loved it.

[bookdivasreads · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

An excellent story presented in the words and thoughts (presenting their backstories) of multiple characters in the book. Well-written and thought provoking about how simple words can devastate in the right (or perhaps wrong) circumstances at the right moment especially when delivered to children.

[grytajme · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book was supposed to be suspenseful, yet the secrets were pretty easy to guess and that kind of ruined the suspense. Not bad, but not fantastic.Love the cover, though.

[celticlibrarian · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

3.0 out of 5 stars Two little girls go missing in the night..., April 29, 2011I was expecting this to be a terrific read based on recommendations from several book lovers I know and admire. Unfortunately, in many ways, the novel fell short of my expectations and I turned the last page feeling let down and disappointed. I do tend to end up judging my books by the ending -- and this was part of the reason that I rated it only as 3 stars which means "it's OK" to me.The story premise -- two little 7 year-old girls, Calli and Petra, vanish from their separate homes in the middle of a hot Iowa night. They live in an isolated area that is surrounded by woods and it is there that much of the main story action is focused. Calli Clark is a selective mute -- she hasn't spoken a word since a tragedy she witnessed at age 4. Her best friend, Petra Gregory, is her voice and has protected Callie since they met.One morning, Calli's drunken brute of a father, Griff, drags her into the woods. Around the same time, for reasons not given to the reader, Petra leaves her house as well. When the girls are discovered missing, Deputy Sheriff Loras Louis launches a search for the girls. The deputy also happens to be the ex-boyfriend of Calli's mother, Antonia, and though he's married, he is of course still in love with her. The whole love triangle aspect of this book was completely predictable and left a negative impression on me and decreased my appreciation of the novel.The drama surrounding the disappearance and the reactions of the parents of the girls and Calli's brother Ben provided the best suspense of the book. The story was told, however, in different points of view and the characters never seemed to find their own individual voice so I didn't end up really connecting with any of them.The resolution falls flat and the epilogue, though it tied up all the loose ends, did not satisfy. I don't know if I will read this author's next book or not.

[bdouglas97 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I read These Things Hidden by Heather Gudenkauf first and enjoyed it enough to read this previously published book. I enjoyed it just as much as These Things Hidden. Both novels have an element of mystery and a personal stories that interconnect that they are page turners when you get into the meat of them. The fact that she never tells us why Callie cannot talk until the end makes you try and guess throughout the book. I loved the chapter when Callie finally describes what it is like after she utters that first word after 4 years.

[jenreidreads · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This isn't my usual kind of novel. I don't generally read mysteries or "popular" "adult" fiction, sticking mostly with the fantasy genre or YA fiction. But I had heard a lot of good things about this book and found it at the library. Calli and Petra, two best friends, go missing one night. Calli has had selective mutism for years. The story unfolds mostly through the voices of Calli's mother and Petra's father. Who could have taken the girls? The obvious suspect is Calli's father, an abusive alcoholic. But Gudenkauf keeps us guessing as she peels back the layers of her small-town characters. A well-written novel. Recommended.

[jlparent · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

2 girls go missing in this fairly meh mystery; chapters vary by character as the story progresses. I knew who did it early on, found a lot of the characters either just plain dumb, annoying, or cardboard cutouts. I liked Calli the best (one of the missing girls) and likely would have liked Petra (other missing girl) but she was never really developed. Again, I say meh.

[acqwoods · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This novel tells the story of two young girls who go missing one morning and follows the fallout as people question each other while trying to find them. The two seven year olds are best friends even though one of them, Calli, has been mute for the past three years. The story alternates between the search and exposition of the stories of their families. Although I enjoyed the book very much, I would have liked it more if the author delved into the characters and relationships. I wonder why Calli's mother would marry her father, an abusive drunk, instead of her high school sweetheart who clearly still cares for her. The novel does explore why Calli became mute, and more important, what will make her talk again. I read this in the airport and on the plane and it held me rapt; hopefully it will do the same for you.

[cookiedemon · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In as many months, I seem to have coincidentally read three novels that focus on selective mutism in children; `Breaking the Silence' by Diane Chamberlain, `December' by Elizabeth Winthrop- and now this one. All of the books have their merits and all deal with the subject matter in different ways and all have made for enjoyable, informative reading.This is the second novel by Gudenkauf that I have read. I really loved `These Things Hidden' so had high hopes for this one too. It didn't disappoint and I think the writing style is similar to Chamberlain or Picoult, so should you like those authors then you will probably enjoy this book as well.Set in the US, this book features Calli, eight-years-old and selectively mute for four years, for reasons that slowly become clearer as the book unfolds. This is not just a story concentrating on Calli though; it is a look at friendships, relationships and family and was actually a much more absorbing read than I'd initially anticipated, particularly looking at some other less-than-favourable reviews this novel had received in the past.As a reader you are immediately engaged with the novel and the different characters as you see events from their perspective. Sometimes a multiple narrator approach just doesn't work, but here thankfully, it was successful and really pulls you into the story. It also allowed the plot to untangle much more quickly. I was never bored whilst reading this novel.I was however frustrated and also angry with a lot of the characters- particularly Calli's awful father and her mother who seemed blind to his faults. Though Griff (the father) was a horrible person it was actually Antonia, the mother, who came off as more irresponsible overall. Some of the matters that take place later (involving a child) are also a bit grim and upsetting but the reactions to them seem a bit `glossed over' (even in the prologue which was set four years later). I would have liked people's thoughts and emotions to these said matters to be divulged and expanded on just a little bit more, particularly given how serious they were- which is why I have deducted a star.Generally this was a compelling novel. I really hope to read more by Gudenkauf again in future and hope it is as strongly written as this. *This review also appears on Amazon.co.uk*

[queenalyss · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

 What a fantastic novel! It is incredibly well written, realistic, and heart wrenching. Each sentence is filled with passion so that as you read, you find yourself lurching with the emotions of the individual whose psyche you currently watch. My only qualm was that Gudenkauf sometimes transitioned between point of views too often, which took out some of the intensity of a moment

[cobygirl517 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book was good but predictable. The author tried to make you think someone else did the crime, but I figured it out pretty early. Also, I wish the ending had been happier :(

[bnbookgirl · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this story about families becoming intertwined by tragedy. Told in six different voices really keeps the story moving along quickly. I loved Calli and Petra's relationship. Petra was her soul mate and her voice. That relationship touched me the most. The characters are very well written and the suspense builds nicely. This story covers many small topics as well (alcoholic parent, abusive relationships, unrequited love, and hidden secrets). Also the book does not have a fairy tale ending which I always like and look for in a book. I look forward to reading more from this author.