Sacred Diaries: Vol:1 Reflection

By Diane Renee

Sacred Diaries is the story of a young girl’s journey through life captured through the pages of her
diaries. Childhood tragedies and abuse spiraled into Jessica’s use of drugs which eventually lead
to her depression and mental breakdown.

The permanent scars of Jessica’s childhood tragedies manifest into her young adult life. Out of
control Jessica ends up in a hospital where she had an encounter with God that would change her
life forever.

Reflection follows Jessica as she relives the traumatic events of her youth which almost lead to her demise. Prior to her revelation, Jessica finds herself face to face with the reflection of truth through someone else's eyes...

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Mar 13, 2015
• ISBN: 9780990945819

Book preview

here…

CHAPTER 1:

48 HOURS

12 Years Later…

Darkness lessens to a dim light. Finally, I awakened from a 48-hour state of unconsciousness. Like a baby’s first steps, the opening of my eyes brought my Mom-Mom running to the eventful sight.

It took several moments for me to realize where I was and why I was here in the first place. With blurred vision, I could depict images above me; a tube extending from my mouth, IVs in the veins of my arms and patches on my chest. I slowly turned my head to my right side in response to the sound made by the machine, which supported and registered my basic life signs while I was engaged in a deep slumber.

Mom-Mom’s long braid of silver-gray hair brushed against my face as she leaned in to take a closer look. My attention drew to her as I focused blinking my eyes.

Mom-Mom cries in her southern accent. Jessie you’re gonna be alright!

As Mom-Mom celebrated with cheers and praises, various beeps, and high pitch sounds invaded the room and alerted the nurse’s desk that I had finally awakened out of my coma.

Within seconds, a nurse barges into the room straight to my bed and asks Mom-Mom to leave as she begins shutting down the noises of the machine. She then proceeds to ask me a series of questions.

Jessica…do you hear me? Can you see me honey? Do you know where you are Jessie? She waited for a response.

You are in the hospital here at Chicago General, and I am Nurse Bridget she relayed in a soft comforting voice.

With alert eyes, I stared at her without a sound.

Nurse Bridget saw that I was becoming aware and beginning to panic when she quickly alerted the attending physician.

Welcome back Miss Beasley. You certainly gave us a scare. I am Dr. Sanjay and you have been in my care for the past 48-hours, announced the doctor by my bedside.

The sound of the doctor’s voice became unclear and muffled as I look around the room with weak and heavy eyes. My senses are distorted so I must focus as he spoke.

You have been in a coma for two days. We had to pump your stomach and found drugs in your system. Your body has been through a lot, but you’re going to be okay. Dr. Sanjay stated.

Standing over me with a tiny flashlight in one hand and using the fingers of his other hand to pry my eyelids open, Dr. Sanjay initiated a bedside evaluation.

Follow the light using only your eyes and leave your head straight facing me. Now move your head up and down. Now left to right. Great! Move your legs and arms for me. He continued.

Just then my hand reached for the respirator tube extending from my mouth. As I gained awareness, I felt the discomfort and pressure of the respiratory tube in my throat down my trachea. I motioned and muffled a groan to communicate in sign to have the tube removed. With each minute, the discomfort advanced into pain and all I wanted was the tube out of me.

Dr. Sanjay completed his observations and informed me of his next steps, Well, Jessica your preliminary tests look good. Now I want to check your lungs ability to breathe on its own. I’m going to remove your trachea tube. It may cause you some discomfort and gagging but it will be quick.

I immediately began to gag, cough and gasp for air as the engulfed respiratory tube was removed from my throat and I breathed on my own for the first time in 48 hours.

Dr. Sanjay turned to nurse Bridget. Let’s continue to monitor her vitals for several hours. Once everything checks out, we’ll discuss discharging her. She obviously needs more treatment…the kind of treatment that requires more than pumping her stomach. Her use of drugs and pre-existing depression is very concerning so I am prescribing additional treatment at the appropriate facility.

Dr. Sanjay slowly left my bedside and instructed the nurse to monitor me until my release.

In a motherly fashion, Nurse Bridget gently brushed her hand across my forehead and leaned into my ear and softly said, Everything is going to be okay, Jessie. I’m going to write up your chart and let your Grandmother back into the room to say good-bye. Mom-Mom walked back in the room and over to my bed and brushed my brow…

Mom-Mom

Mom-Mom was the matriarch of the family. Her strength, support, faith, and wisdom tailored her life as she unconditionally loved and cared for so many throughout her long years. She stood a short 5’4 with long silver-gray hair contrasting against her mocha shade-skin. Her loving smile compensated for her lack of affectionate words. She was well-known for her finger-licking southern cooking style and hospitality. She was known as Grandma" by many, but for me she was my Mom-Mom.

When I was young and struggled in school and in much need of Mom-Mom’s love and support she was there for me…

(Jessica closed her eyes and reminisced to one time in particular.)

Mom-Mom, I can’t read good…I stutter and I don’t know words well. Will you teach me to read so I can be smart? I yelled approaching Mom-Mom in desperation and frustration.

Without hesitation, Mom-Mom immediately responded, Jessie baby you don’t have to worry, Mom-Mom will help you learn to read better and always remember that you are as smart as you believe you are. As I looked into Mom-Mom’s face, her loving smile immediately comforted me.

She was always there for me, just like now. Mom-Mom continued to caress me gently. No matter what I did wrong, Mom-Mom still loved me and believed in