The Weathering of Strawberry Ben

By Ted L. Carroll

Would Strawberry Ben kill himself? .....Fiction and poetry intertwine, celebrating the naturally awful capacities of human depths (and heights) via young Strawberry Ben's daily dance with despair.

Much of the novel is autobiographic. So, "What's the book about?"

Pointedly, “The Weathering of Strawberry Ben” is the story of a man (Tom) who survives being raped - as a child. Now, grown, he almost (accidentally) kills a young boy (Ben). Tom had barely survived his own life! Now he’s nearly taken the life of a kid! Markedly, Tom experiences a transformational spiritual awakening in the journey of discovering the love of his life, his now-wife, Em.

The plot centers around the boy, nick-named: Strawberry Ben. His unlikely mentor and brother figure is Tom and, of course, Tom's lovely wife Em - who loves young Benjamin as her own son. Furthermore, old man Vanilla Rick adds a twist to the story and adds a shining tight bow of paradox near The End.

Complementing an unrelenting experience of darkness and despair "The Weathering of Strawberry Ben" is the story of victory over death, depression, and addiction as well as one’s capacity for unconditional love and the practice of contemplative awareness.

Unsurprisingly, the story is morbid, however, the story of Strawberry Ben is also one of utmost commitment to principles – especially to intimate trust and undying love - the deepest and most worthwhile paths of perceptive living.

From boyhood rape to loss of parents, from demonic dependencies to poems of desperation, from sadness and soul-thievery to divine grace and forgiveness, Ben's story is also that of Tom and Em’s, the couple whose lives are so undeniably intertwined with the young man's that basic loyalty to family and friends demands being reevaluated.

Finally, Rick adds a twist to the story that leaves the reader unashamedly wanting more. In the meantime, and throughout most the book, one cannot help but wonder: “Would Strawberry Ben kill himself?”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ted L. Carroll
• Release date: Mar 27, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310582530

Ted L. Carroll

Ted L Carroll of Whitworth University, Spokane, WA, whose focuses are Sociology and Psychology, is a Christian, a family man, and grateful to his loving wife, Tanya, his inspiring stepdaughters, Alysa and Alexis, and Editor (and beloved friend) Jeremy Whittington. Ted's debut novel is "The Weathering of Strawberry Ben," though he has been actively writing poetry for years.

Book preview

The Weathering of Strawberry Ben

By, Ted L Carroll

Praise for The Weathering of Strawberry Ben

"The…fast paced, poetic language maintains…a way reminiscent of stream-of-consciousness. Actually, somewhere around page three I was feeling reminded of when I read Ulysses.

Approach it as art…[Carroll’s] use of word flow, playfulness with grammatical mechanics (like appositives, parenthetical, enunciated pauses) all create a visceral feeling to [the] text. It's alive!

The long, complex, extended sentences work great with…rapid fire word pairings that just propel the reader forward without any time to think!"

– K.A. Hensan, Co-Editor & Professional Literary Agent

The Weathering of Strawberry Ben

A Novel – By, Ted L Carroll

© Theodore L Carroll 2015

Ted L Carroll

Jeremy Whittington & K.A. Hensan, Editors

http://www.tedcarrollauthor.wix.com/buythebook

Also by Ted L Carroll:

Illegal Jesus - Young Immigrant Hispanic Males in Strata Fractured America - An Invitation to Americans from Within

Published by Smashwords, Inc.

Copyright Theodore L Carroll 2015

All Rights Reserved.

ISBN: 9781310582530

Cover Design: By, Ted L Carroll © 2015

Cover design made possible by: Jonah Crum, Christi Simonds, & Jeremy Whittington.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes



This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

This book is dedicated to the most beautiful human I’ve ever known: my wife, soul mate, and best friend, Tanya Marie Carroll. Also, this book is dedicated to my two inspiring stepdaughters, Alysa Marie and Alexis Mae, the most gorgeous, talented, compassionate young women who have ever graced Earth.

The Weathering of Strawberry Ben

© Theodore L Carroll 2015. All rights reserved.

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.

― Albert Camus

Contents

Acknowledgements

Chapter 1 – Buster

Chapter 2 – Baptism

Chapter 3 – Detachment

Chapter 4 – Diamonds

Chapter 5 – The Covenant

Chapter 6 – Morning

Chapter 7 – Dancing

Chapter 8 – Ben

Chapter 9 – Pillow Dribble

Chapter 10 – The Nature of Climbing

Chapter 11 – Tasting Placenta

Chapter 12 – Initiation and Requirement

Chapter 13 – Shakes

Chapter 14 – Pond Song

Chapter 15 – Rage Rising

Chapter 16 – Restless Beloved

Epilogue

Author’s Note

Other Works

About The Author

Acknowledgements

In gratitude and with a thankful spirit of service, thanks are to the Lord, Jesus Christ, and to those seeking God’s heart. Thanks especially to those who follow the radical nature of Christ’s example, living personal abandonment to God via the subtlety of the Holy Spirit.

Especially, thanks to those who, even against the often well-intentioned direction of some: churches, pastors, theological beliefs, and scriptural interpretations, have made a decision to follow the paradoxical truths of Christ, found in the uncommonly welcomed embrace of certain despair and practiced quietude – discovered by affording oneself the opportunity for utter stillness, quiet sitting, and a willing surrender to discomfort.

Specifically, thank you to: Mr. Jeremy T. Whittington, K.A. Hensan, Jonah Crum, Ms. Christi Simonds, The BookPatch.com, Wilshire Press Inc., M.W., Friends of Bill W., and the kind souls of the Whitworth University family – all who, in one extraordinary way or another, have made this book a reality.

Always, a special thanks to family and friends, especially to my lovely grandparents, George M. and Dorothy Carroll, and Clyde B. and Anna Matters, as well as my beloved parents, Charles V. and Cynthia A. Carroll, and my brothers, Scott C, Terry R, Rob V, and Eddie R – with incomprehensible grace these dear ones have allowed me the freedom to just be me. Thank you for your unrelenting love and Christ-like example.

If we decided to gather here,

Often and with one intent,

The sight of these trees

Would be holy

And the ground would receive a blessing.

If we decided to embrace strangers,

We would know secrets of motherhood.

Chapter 1 – Buster

The walk seemed to be nearing an end, such an experience of today called the beginning that much nearer. Indeed, the time had been a brief jaunt around a simple city block. The walk began, undoubtedly, because of Clara’s encouragement, certainly, because of too many years wasted now irretrievable – save giving up this year and, perhaps, years following.

Today was like that, irretrievably called yesterday; on such avenues, all bodies fall. Today Thomas will fish the St. Joe River with his wife and best friend, Elaine Marie. Today they will visit inmates at the state penitentiary – carrying Love’s message and being carried by the structure of such an institution.

He couldn’t, or wouldn’t, trust himself until that very morning; though Life breathed him alive, a necessarily atomic scale of its slithery self, the primordial sea surrounding Abzur is the same seaweed stepped on, these ridiculously round rocks, slimy, and the seed which generated in his testicles spluged in utter blissing busting booms into her spaces – and upon heavier ground, by the river.

He wasn’t quite two years of age (when Silence touched down) since his most recent come around. He was, at the lead of his older brother, Sam, and his mother, Clara, undoubtedly working in instinctive deliberation: sitting southward on the tiniest petrol training toilet the world had ever produced. Simultaneously, brother Sammy completed his big job and proudly walked past Tommy (still in deep, hard labor). He fastened his Osh-Kosh jean-a-roos and gleefully skipped out to greet a sunny crisp fall Saturday. Sam figured Tommy would catch up after he accomplished a bit more work. Like pushing a, nearly ripe, cucumber through a dime-eating candy dispenser. Oh, big jobs. Tough!

No sooner did Thomas sigh a relief of (privately delivered) joy than he heard muffled sounds of angst and confusion from the far-corner kitchen backdoor, Somebody killed Buster! Tommy heard Sammy screech, from the adjacent room.

Buster was William’s dog, since before he and Clara were married. A tall, college-age, neighborhood woman drove just a few blocks from the scene of the accident to Bill and Clara’s corner home, to deliver Buster’s bloodied blanket body bag. Bill knew, intuitively, what had happened, even before Megan said a word and even before she opened the backdoor of her car where the body was, innocently presented on faux-leather upholstery. Disconcertingly, the mishap occurred so soon before her next date with her new man.

What a trooper, Tom remembers thinking of Megan.