Anal Pleasure and Health: a guide for men, women and couples

By Jack Morin

For many years the focus of fear and disgust, the anus is actually one of the human body's most wondrous creations-elegant, efficient, and richly supplied with pleasure nerves. However, stress and ignorance can turn the anus and its functions from a source of delight into a painful disability. What's needed is an owner's manual - and here it is! Join therapist and sexologist Jack Morin, Ph.D., on this tour of the anus, complete with information and exercises to open the door to new sources of comfort and gratification. You'll unlearn habits that can cause everything from hemorrhoids to chronic pelvic pain- and, if you choose, learn new ways of achieving solo and partnered pleasures through this humblest of portals.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Down There Press
• Release date: Mar 4, 2015
• ISBN: 9780940208414

Jack Morin

Jack Morin has been studying the mysteries of Eros for nearly two decades, often exploring uncharted territory. He is the world's foremost expert on peak erotic experiences, including real-life encounters as well as fantasies. He has studied these remarkably revealing and fulfilling experiences with the help of his patients in therapy and also by analyzing anonymous responses to his "Sexual Excitement Survey," a powerful tool for self-discovery which you'll find in the book. He is a diplomat of the American Board of Sexology, a board-certified sex therapist, and a licensed psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area. He speaks regularly to professional and lay audiences across the country.

Book preview

PRAISE FOR ANAL PLEASURE AND HEALTH

Absolutely indispensible. I can’t recommend this book strongly enough.

— Dan Savage, syndicated columnist, Savage Love

Anal Pleasure and Health is iconic in our field. The subtitle should be: The 2010 Handbook for the Anally Curious. With meticulous style, Morin delivers a sex therapist’s guided tour for self or partnered pleasure that is part research, part techniques, part exercises, and a refreshingly positive attitude. — Lou Paget, AASECT Certified Sex Educator and author, The Great Lover Playbook

Jack Morin’s revolutionary guidebook for the elimination of anal pain offers simple exercises such as inserting a finger in your anus every time you take a shower. The practical wisdom of Anal Pleasure and Health helped me evolve from a disembodied academic into a sensuous teacher of anal massage.

— Joseph Kramer, Ph.D., somatic sexologist

I wish my doctors had read this book. The Anal Health part of the title is no joke. From my late teens I was plagued with stabbing cramps, bleeding, and messier symptoms—doctors cited stress, irritable bowel syndrome, and had nothing to recommend but yet more fiber. In a matter of short weeks, the relaxation and muscle control exercises in this book cut down the pain I’d suffered for years. — Amazon reader review

This classic makes a taboo subject routine. It’s a great reference and I recommend it often. — Charles Moser, M.D. author, Health Care Without Shame

Detailed and thorough… irreverent and elegant. — David Smith, founder, Haight Ashbury Free Clinics

Recently, the medical community has shifted its attention to whole body medicine. But according to a doctor we found, there’s one body hole that’s been left behind. Sex therapist Dr. Jack Morin has written a groundbreaking book that shows us how to become buddies with our buttholes. — Beth Littleford, The Daily Show on Comedy Central

I have to say that this book revolutionized my love life between me and my man. I had been plagued with questions about how and where, and this book answered EVERY one, in addition to suggesting many things I had not previously thought of. Kudos to Jack Morin. You have truly changed my life for the better. — Amazon reader review

Unlike some writers, Morin spends as much time focusing on using fingers, tongues and toys as he does on intercourse, and he emphasizes becoming comfortable with your body and finding out what (if any) forms of anal stimulation you enjoy, rather than making yourself feel inadequate for failing to meet external goals. — Amazon reader review

An excellent piece of work on an important subject. — Wardell Pomeroy, Ph.D., co-author of the Kinsey Reports

I must admit, as I sat down to write this review, I had to fight the urge to adopt a condescending, flippant tone. This is an important work, however, about a strong social taboo…Even the most enlightened health professional would have trouble finding sound information, let alone knowing how to help patients incorporate their anuses into their sexual lives safely and pleasurably. Dr. Morin has had the courage and imagination to do this, and present his expertise for others to use. — Stephen Atkinson, The Body Politic

More than a book about anal pleasure; it is a book about relationships, touching, sensuality and letting go of patterns that have kept us from getting as much out of sex as we deserve. — Wendell Rickets, Journal of Homosexuality

A GUIDE FOR MEN, WOMEN, AND COUPLES

FOURTH REVISED EDITION

Jack Morin, Ph.D.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY COLLEN HAMMON-HOGAN, TOM TILL

DOWN THERE PRESS

© 2010 by Jack Morin, Ph.D.

All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television or Internet reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying or recording or by information storage or retrieval system, without permission in writing from the Publisher.

Cover design by Johnny Ink.

Published in the United States by Down There Press.

Distributed by SCB Distributors, Gardena, CA.

CONTENTS

ILLUSTRATION LIST

INTRODUCTION: EYEWITNESS TO CHANGE

Relaxation Workshops

AIDS Crashes the Party

Going Mainstream?

What’s New In This Fourth Edition?

1.   WHAT IS ANAL PLEASURE?

Prevalence in the United States

2.   CONFRONTING THE ANAL TABOO

Social Functions of the Anal Taboo

The Anal Taboo in the Helping Professions

3.   HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

4.   LOOKING AND TOUCHING:

BEGINNING ANAL SELF-EXPLORATION

The Anal Opening

Response

Personifying the Anus

5.   BENEATH THE SKIN:

LOCATING AND EXERCISING ANAL AND PELVIC MUSCLES

Anatomy of Anal and Pelvic Muscles

Visualizing Pelvic Organs

Response

6.   MIND AND BODY:

UNDERSTANDING HOW THE ANUS AND EMOTIONS INTERACT

Stress and Anal Tension

Response

Response

7.   INSIDE THE ANUS:

LEARNING VOLUNTARY MUSCLE CONTROL

Anatomy and Physiology of the Anal Canal

Anal Douching (Enemas)

Lubrication

Response

8.   ANAL EROTICISM:

INCLUDING THE ANUS IN MASTURBATION

Sexual Response and the Anus

Response

9.   DISCOVERING THE RECTUM:

MAPPING ITS SHAPE AND SENSATIONS

Fisting (Handballing)

Introduction to Butt Plugs

Response

10. ATTITUDES TOWARD RECTAL STIMULATION:

CONFRONTING PSYCHOLOGICAL AND CULTURAL BLOCKS

Feces

Homophobia

Gender Roles

Missing the Taboo

Drugs and Anal Pleasure

11. MUTUAL EXPLORATION:

SHARING ANAL PLEASURE WITH A PARTNER

Choosing a Partner

Response

The Nice Person Syndrome

Rimming (Analingus)

12. ANAL INTERCOURSE:

ENJOYING IT SAFELY AND COMFORTABLY

What Is Anal Intercourse?

Condom Sense: Which Type Is Best for You?

Response

13. REALMS OF POWER:

PROBING INTERPERSONAL DYNAMICS

Symbols Of Power

Eroticizing Power

Power and Anal Intercourse

14. A LIFETIME OF ANAL PLEASURE:

INTEGRATING AND SUSTAINING YOUR DISCOVERIES

Staying In Touch

Who When and How

Aging and Anal Pleasure

Honoring Erotic Preferences

APPENDIX: HEALTH PROBLEMS INVOLVING THE ANUS AND RECTUM

HIV and AIDS

Making Safer Sex Work: Developing a Personal Policy

Other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STDs)

Intestinal Infections

Other Diseases of the Anus and Rectum

Guidelines for Self-Healing

Finding A Physician or Alternative Practitioner

REFERENCES AND RESOURCES

INDEX

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

FIGURE  1. POSITIONS FOR ANAL SELF-EXAMINATION

FIGURE  2. ANATOMY OF PELVIC ORGANS AND MUSCLES

FIGURE  3. INTERNAL AND EXTERNAL ANAL SPHINCTER MUSCLES

FIGURE  4. ANATOMY OF THE RECTUM

FIGURE  5. EFFECTS OF ANGLE OF ENTRY ON RECTAL INSERTION

FIGURE  6. BASIC DESIGN OF A BUTT PLUG

FIGURE  7. POSITIONS FOR ANAL INTERCOURSE

Acknowledgments

It’s hard to imagine a book that’s not a collaborative effort, especially when you’re violating a still-powerful taboo, even more so when a book has been part of your life for nearly thirty years, as this one has for me, with this fourth edition being the latest version. My collaborators have been many and varied, beginning with the hundreds of clients who, through their intimate revelations and courageous experiments, have grown personally, while enriching me at least as much. You know who you are; please accept my deepest gratitude.

Early support means an enormous amount when getting a project off the ground. Many of my oldest friends created an environment in which I could afford to be a little wacky—I prefer to think of it as inspired. Michael Graves, Liz Hudgin, Toni Ayres, and Tom Moon gave me encouragement and much-needed laughs. Phillip Mitchell was my professional mentor during the mid-seventies and helped me zero in on what I wanted to do, and how I could possibly do it. This book grew out of my doctoral research at Saybrook University where Don Polkinghorn was not only the new presidente, but was also thrust into the position of chairman of my doctoral committee; some guys have all the luck. But without a hint of discomfort—and always with genuine respect—he pushed me to make the research better.

Joani Blank, to whom this book is dedicated, made the whole thing happen. When many other publishers liked the book, but eventually decided that their readers couldn’t handle it—whatever that meant—Joani came through. Later on, Leigh Davidson, at the helm of Down There Press, initiated and nurtured the third edition to fruition. Aaron Silverman, my new publisher, saw the need for this new edition—exactly what I’d been hoping for.

other friends and professional colleagues have buoyed my spirits and encouraged me to follow my passions. Scott Madover, Marty Klein, Janice Epp, Charles Moser, Winston Wilde, Ginny Pizzardi, George Liao, Barbara Cook, Ruth Hughes, Jan Zobel, JoAnn Loulan, Marny Hall, and Arthur Atlas have all helped me, so much more than they may realize. My heartfelt thanks goes out to them all.

TO JOANI BLANK

educator, visionary, friend

Without her determination

to vercome sexual ignorance and fear,

this book would never have been published

EYEWITNESS TO CHANGE

My Thirty-Five Years as Dr . Anal

It was never one of my career goals to be known as Dr. Anal, as I am in some circles. Although I’ve accepted the nickname as a playful compliment, it’s only been during the last decade that my embarrassment has faded away completely. Like almost everyone else, my earliest attitudes toward the anal area were shaped—warped, more accurately—by the incredibly powerful anal taboo. obediently, I thought about it as little as possible. The vast network of nerves that makes this area so sensitive was, for all practical purposes, out of commission. once, when I was obviously upset, a perceptive therapist asked what I was feeling in my anus. The revealing answer was, Absolutely nothing.

All of that changed radically in the mid-seventies when a synchronous combination of events, both personal and professional, grabbed my attention and couldn’t be ignored. on the personal side, I had developed an excruciating case of hemorrhoids—swollen, stretched and inflamed anal tissues whichsometimes bleed and can hurt like hell. It became so bad that I could hardly sit down without a donut-shaped cushion to protect me. I’ll spare you the agonizing saga of my bowel movements. Two physicians had suggested surgery and I was considering it. I figured, What could be worse than this? Yet a persistent inner voice whispered that surgery wasn’t the way to go. Luckily, I listened.

Around the same time, I was deeply engaged in the exciting new field of sex therapy. All of us were enthusiastic and optimistic about the application of this direct approach to sex problems. Before long, I was working with a wonderfully diverse group of men and women clients, all concerned about one aspect of their sexuality or another. These were also the heady days of the burgeoning sexual revolution, especially in San Francisco, where the atmosphere pulsated with the promise of liberation; anything seemed possible.

In the context of this experimental atmosphere, a growing number of people came to me because they wanted to enjoy anal sex but couldn’t, due to discomfort or pain. Since I had learned nothing about treating such problems in my training, I conducted a literature search and talked with colleagues to see what I might uncover. To my surprise, nobody had much of anything to say about the subject, except for a few physicians and psychoanalysts, with only two points of view: anal sexuality should either be rigorously avoided, or considered a symptom of arrested development.

I was simultaneously flabbergasted and challenged by this glaring gap in our sexual knowledge. The thrill of investigating uncharted territory, a rarity for any researcher, overruled my worries about what others might think. Before I knew it, I was poring over anatomy books and, for the first time in my life, developing a fairly clear idea of how the anus and rectum are put together—muscles, nerves, blood vessels, the whole intricate system. Then, after explaining my profession’s collective ignorance, I invited these new clients to collaborate with me in finding solutions; most eagerly accepted. They tried various relaxation and awareness-building experiments at home and reported their observations.

ANAL AWARENESS & RELAXATION WORKSHOPS

BEFORE LONG, I had so many clients wanting to undertake these explorations, that I developed an 8-week, small-group format called Anal Awareness and Relaxation Workshops. They were quite a hit, and I learned so, so much.This initial work spurred me on to intensive doctoral research and eventually to writing the first edition of this book in 1981.

Which brings me back to hemorrhoids. As I tried the same experiments on myself that my clients were practicing at home—which seemed only fair—I was amazed to discover how much sensation I hadn’t been feeling. I was hurting even more than I had realized! But gradually, instead of tensing up in response to the pain, I learned to relax into it. Before long, the tush cushion that had been my constant companion was gathering dust in a closet. In fact, within a few months of my first experiment, the hemorrhoids had cleared up completely—and they’ve rarely been back, except when I’m especially stressed. At such times, I can feel the tightening of my anal muscles, and I know it’s time to get back in touch.

Meanwhile, my clients were amazed at their own results. The more attention they paid to the anal area, the more they noticed a growing comfort with it and, simultaneously, unmistakable increases in their enjoyment of whatever types of anal stimulation they desired. A deceptively simple combination of relaxation and self-awareness appeared to be as effective at promoting their pleasure as it was for relieving my pain.

I now see those horrid hemorrhoids as a strange sort of gift. My clients’ discoveries about anal pleasure, combined with my own quest for self-healing, drove home the single most important lesson I’ve learned during my 35-year stint as Dr. Anal: The widespread belief that one must choose between anal plea-sure OR anal health is terribly off the mark. In reality, a person who desires maximum anal enjoyment should follow virtually the same steps as anyone who seeks optimal anal wellness. Both require:

•  deepening awareness of the anal area and its functioning

•  total elimination of anal pain

•  reduction of muscular tension

•  replacing negative feelings and attitudes toward the anus and rectum with positive ones

Guiding you toward these objectives is what this book is all about. You can use most of its information and exercises effectively, whether your specific goal is nonsexual self-healing, an expansion of your capacity for anal sensuality and eroticism, or a combination of the two. Chapters 1–7 are equally relevant for everyone. Starting with Chapter 8 you’ll notice an increasing emphasis on pleasure and sexuality. But note that only Chapter 12 is exclusively concerned with anal intercourse. Men and women of all sexual orientations can benefitfrom reading all other chapters, even if they have little or no interest in intercourse.

AIDS CRASHES THE PARTY

AT THE SAME TIME as the initial publication of this book, the AIDS epidemic struck, sending us reeling, churning up an emotional smorgasbord of fear, anger, guilt, and soon grief and despair. By the mid-1980s, unprotected anal intercourse was identified as a major avenue for HIV transmission. Enemies of sexual freedom felt vindicated. It’s God’s punishment, more than a few declared, in stunning displays of arrogance and unvarnished hatred.

As sex became linked with disease and death in public consciousness, many people stopped having it altogether, or else became so anxious that it wasn’t much fun. others adopted a fatalistic attitude and spun out of control as if on a final binge—last call for sexual liberation. Seemingly overnight, the freewheeling celebrations of the ‘70s turned into wistful anachronisms. Loss of sexual desire became the most widespread sex problem—and still is—and a new diagnosis of sexual addiction gave a name to deepening worries about the consequences of lust run amok. Those outside of the urban centers, where HIV first took hold in the U.S., still had the option of blissful ignorance, but not for long. Soon everyone was affected, directly or indirectly. AIDS, after all, was and is a worldwide pandemic.

As I watched many people deteriorate and die in their prime, I privately anticipated the demise of my book as well. For a time, I thought that anal sexuality, along with other erotic options, might slink back into the closet, beyond the reach of consciousness and choice. Surely, I mused, the anal taboo would reassert itself with a vengeance and crush any hope for open, non-judgmental discussion.

Boy, was I wrong. It turned out that alongside the unbelievable devastation, two positive trends emerged as tiny silver linings. Most important was a huge groundswell of focused determination, especially among gays, to beat this plague through political activism, unprecedented changes in sexual behavior, non-stop fundraising, compassionate support for the sick, and sheer force of will.

The other bright spot was that people started looking more honestly, perhaps even more so than at the height of the sexual revolution, at the myriad ways we express ourselves sexually, with or without social approval. For the first time, the words anal intercourse were regularly heard on the evening news and seen in daily newspapers. True, it was never spoken of enthusiastically, but at least it was spoken of. The implicit message was: the time had come to take off the blinders and get real.

Hints of Normalization. By the time I was completing the Third Edition in 1997-98 I was noticing signs that anal sexuality, while far from mainstream, was inching ever-so-slightly toward—dare I say it?—normalization. I saw hints of this change in a very personal way each time one of my mischievous friends would mention to people I’d just met that I’m an author. naturally, people would ask what I’ve written. At one time I would cringe at such moments because the responses were so predictable: uncomfortable utterances such as, ohhh… my, trailing off into awkward silence, inordinate amounts of blushing or nervous giggles, a plethora of puns, plus creative segues into more comfortable topics. Gradually, the reactions became more varied. Some people started expressing genuine interest, asking questions, and even sharing personal anecdotes or something they’d heard or read. Frankly, I was stunned at first.

Major changes were also underway in the treatment of HIV/AIDS. The first of a new class of antiviral drugs—protease inhibitors—was approved in 1995. Although obviously not a cure, the face of AIDS started to look quite different, at least in developed countries. Many who were literally at death’s door started to perk up as their ravaged immune systems rebounded. The change was monumental, although by no means universal.

Gradually, it has become clear to me that the rude awakenings necessitated by HIV had joined forces with two earlier cultural movements—feminism and gay liberation—which together had launched the sexual revolution, at least in urban areas of the developed world. All these momentous events were interlinked because each demanded a total rethinking of old assumptions about sexuality, gender, and the inevitability of change.

GOING MAINSTREAM?

AFTER THE PUBLICATION of the third edition in 1998, something remarkable occurred: a rush for media attention. With earlier editions, I couldn’t beg my way onto radio or TV. All of a sudden, I was getting up before dawn nearly every weekday to be a guest (by phone) on several morning talk radio shows in various parts of the country. And this went on for months! Sure there was lots of joking and silly banter, but I also managed to slip in a few facts and tips. I even had a chance to recommend to Howard Stern that he stick a finger up his butt every day in the shower, which he agreed was probably a good idea.

There were serious and goofy TV appearances, too. I’ll never forget when a client strolled into my office for his regular session and, with a mischievous grin, announced: Guess who I saw on TV last night? I knew what he meant; I had been the willing subject of a spoof on The Daily Show on Comedy Central. Yeah, he went on, I was channel surfing and there you were with a mirror between your legs, demonstrating how to look at your butt. For a split second, I flashed back eighteen years, to a time when another client had stumbled across the book when it first came out. He had terminated therapy in an angry phone message and refused to talk about it.

How different things were with this twenty-something guy. He spent only a few moments on his surprise at seeing me in such a compromising position on national TV. Before I could explain myself, he was recounting how his girlfriend had recently put her finger up his butt during fellatio, thus introducing him to the joys of prostate massage. What an orgasm! he proclaimed. His openness was delightfully refreshing. He informed me that the topic of anal sex often came up among his friends and that only a couple of guys remained silent, fearing—as they had told him privately—that showing interest might be seen as too gay.

The contrast between the older client who quit therapy, and the enthusiastic younger one, was symbolic of a wider sea change in attitudes, a shift that appeared to be unfolding far more rapidly than I would have predicted. The signs were unmistakable: Sex toy boutiques (popping up everywhere) reported brisk sales of butt plugs, lubes, and other anal paraphernalia. Competing books on anal sex gradually hit the market (which worried me at first, but turned out to reflect a much greater public interest than ever before).

Social mores about sex in general, and anal sex in particular, are clearly in transition. But the anal taboo, as we shall see, is deep and devious. I’ve spoken with dozens of people who tried and liked anal intercourse, and yet were still too squeamish to examine themselves in a mirror, or to share an anal massage with a partner. I’ve also worked with countless couples who sometimes included anal play in their sex lives, but were completely unable to discuss how they felt about it. Even so, the future of anal pleasure and health, both the practice and the book, is looking fairly bright.

WHAT’S NEW IN THIS FOURTH EDITION?

BUILDING ON ten years of additional experience since I rewrote the third edition, I undertook a complete review of the relevant literature. As a result, every chapter has been thoroughly updated and expanded. For instance, I’ve deepened my understanding of the structure and workings of the pelvic muscles and sought to present this information in easily accessible and useable ways. This is one reason why all of the anatomical illustrations have been redone—the new illustrations include more details, but are easier to grasp.

Women readers and those who love them will appreciate a much-expanded discussion of the sprawling, internal clitoral body and its involvement with anal enjoyment. I’ve also given the G-spot and female ejaculation the attention they deserve.

Much of my clinical experience over the last ten years has focused on the incredible value of anal awareness and relaxation for promoting anal wellness. I hope that readers dealing with anal medical problems will benefit from a much greater integration of their concerns into virtually every chapter. I’m pleased to report that new developments in medicine are confirming what I’ve been observing for decades—that most anal problems can be treated much more effectively with active patient involvement in the healing process. In fact, a surprising range of difficulties can be resolved solely through self-healing.

When I was writing the third edition in 1997, the Web was on the verge on exploding into public consciousness. now it’s an indispensible tool for finding information and resources on pretty much everything. So instead of a traditional bibliography, the final section of the book (just before the index) is called References and Resources. not only does it include all cited books and articles, but also recommended DVDs and websites on a range of topics. To help interested readers find what they’re looking for, I’ve included brief descriptions of each item, including the most useful books.

With the passage of 28 years since the book was first published, plus three major revisions to help get it right, you’d think this cake would be pretty much baked. While it’s true that my fundamental suggestions for promoting relaxation and awareness remain essentially the same, I was initially surprised by how many updates and improvements there were to make. But as I fully immersed myself in the current revisions, I realized the obvious. The anal area is thoroughly linked with all other aspects of our bodies, minds, attitudes, values, beliefs and culture—all of which are constantly evolving. no wonder I keep seeing this book, like an old friend who continues to surprise, with new eyes.

WHAT IS ANAL PLEASURE?

THE MORE I LEARN about the anal area, the more obvious it becomes that is has evolved to bring us pleasure. Not only is it endowed with a rich supply of blood vessels and nerves, the anus and rectum are also embedded in a complex system of sensitive muscles that are intricately linked to the genitals. Many are surprised to learn that the anal area is thoroughly involved in the dramatic pelvic changes of sexual arousal. When we’re turned on, blood rushes to the entire pelvic area, not just the genitals. When our pelvic muscles begin twitching with pleasure as erotic energy escalates, the anus is also twitching. And if we get excited enough to set off the rhythmic contractions of orgasm, the anus is contracting too—completely in sync.

Needless to say, the primary function of the anus and rectum is to complete the essential process of elimination. But why are the muscles and nerves that make the anus and rectum work properly the same ones that can bring us so much pleasure? It’s simple, really. Healthy functioning of the digestive system is supposed to feel good. Conversely, when something goes wrong, the anus starts to hurt, signaling that it needs our attention.

In light of these fundamental realities, it’s sad to see how many people are profoundly alienated from the anal area—perhaps thinking of it, if they do at all, as dark, dirty, or disgusting. As a result, it carries out its essential functions largely outside of conscious awareness except, of course, when pain erupts. For them, if the anus isn’t hurting, it’s pretty much numb.

It’s different when we’re infants and small children; we take delight in all parts of our bodies. But something terribly unfortunate happens to many of us in the course of growing up: We learn to mistrust or ignore our physical selves, perhaps viewing the mind or spirit as more important than and separate from our bodies. We’re taught to view sensual play and self-exploration as immature and self-indulgent if not kept within strict limits.

This process of bodily self-alienation is especially pronounced in the anal area, commonly seen as the ultimate symbol of all that is unclean and revolting. Imagine how confusing it is to discover that a part of the