This Is Your Afterlife

By Vanessa Barneveld

When the one boy you crushed on in life can't seem to stay away in death, it's hard to be a normal teen when you're a teen paranormal.

Sixteen-year-old Keira Nolan has finally got what she wanted-the captain of the football team in her bedroom. Problem is he's not in the flesh. He's a ghost and she's the only one who can see him.

Keira's determined to do anything to find Jimmy's killer. Even it if means teaming up with his prickly-yet-dangerously-attractive brother, Dan, also Keira's ex-best-friend. Keira finds that her childish crush is fading, but her feelings for Dan are just starting to heat up, and as the story of Jimmy's murder unfolds, anyone could be a suspect.

This thrilling debut from Vanessa Barneveld crosses over from our world to the next, and brings a whole delightful new meaning to "teen spirit".

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
• Release date: Oct 21, 2014
• ISBN: 9781619637771

Vanessa Barneveld

Vanessa Barneveld lives in Australia. She has one husband, two cats, and three Romance Writers of America® Golden Heart® nominations. When she's not writing, devouring chocolate, or dreaming of intergalactic travel, Vanessa works as a closed captioner for the deaf and audio describer for the blind. Visit her at vanessabarneveld.com

Book preview

Author

Chapter One

Who died? I ask Mara and dump my bag on the wide desk we share with the rest of the editorial team.

The Bugle newsroom at Halverston High is uncharacteristically quiet. I’ve seen more life inside a mausoleum. No loud music. No clicking keyboards. No panicked voices yelling out for proofs. Even the air-conditioning unit spews its icy breath in respectful silence. Gray venetian blinds block out the hulking mountaintops and redwoods that make our town seem insignificant.

Halverston is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it kind of a place anyway. Especially now that it’s been cut off from the world, so to speak. A new highway bypasses the town and leads directly to an outlet-shopping mecca in the valley. This place is dead, dead, dead. Maybe that’s why Mara’s looking so depressed.

She snaps her laptop closed with the force of a guillotine.

Keira! What are you doing here? she asks with the air of someone who wants to be left in peace. The feeling’s mutual. I want the place to myself.

Skipping lunch, I say. My chair squeaks as I sit. You look like hell.

Gee, thanks. I had a long night. Mara’s large eyes, the color of the evergreens bordering the school, are magnified even more behind her glasses. With her brown hair wound into a taut bun, she looks less like an editor-in-chief and more like a librarian. No, make that an undertaker. Her fair complexion is almost translucent. Purple orbs beneath her eyes characteristic of someone who’s been robbed of REM sleep. I haven’t seen her look this miserable since the local news anchorwoman quit mentoring the school paper last year.

Shaking my head, I say, I offered to help you put the last issue to bed, but you wouldn’t listen.

I thought the edition was ready to go at lunchtime yesterday. Typical Mara. Can’t help herself. Always tweaking every paragraph, every caption, every headline until there isn’t one pixel out of place. Ever since the Bugle went from paper to electronic, she’s been even worse, working right up till the deadline. Recently she floated the idea of making the paper a daily instead of a weekly. The girl’s got a death wish.

I clear my throat. I’m, uh, gonna use the color copier.

Mm-hm. She waves, already lost in reading her screen.

I scrutinize my new venture’s logo one more time. It’s simple—two interlocked Ms to represent the words Mystic Madam inside a crystal ball. It’s not a masterpiece, but then this flyer’s never going to hang in the Louvre. Dan would’ve made it look much more professional if I’d asked him. But I’m sure he’d rather fly into the sun than help me out.

As I read, a faint odor wafts through the room. Sharp. Familiar. Brings back memories of lazy Sundays watching the sunset, wishing Mondays were nonexistent. My grandmother would lecture me about being stuck, about hanging on too tightly to one special time or place, because that would mean missing out on discovering more special moments.

Mara, are you wearing lavender?

She gets up and peers through the blinds. Wrinkling her nose, she says, Isn’t that an old-lady perfume?

Exactly, I mutter. I must be imagining Grandie’s favorite scent. Or maybe it’s embedded in my purple sweater, the one she knitted last year. Mom and I lost Grandie two months ago. February twelfth. Technically, it was cancer. Actually, it was a crapload of morphine that she somehow got her hands on. She couldn’t beat the disease, but she could outsmart it. That what she said in her suicide note. Every day without her seems to get harder. People who say the pain of loss eases with time should STFU.

‘Mystic Madam’s Tarot Tales. Learn your fate from eight till late,’ Mara intones close to my ear. The way she reads it, it makes my business sound like a brothel. What’s that all about?

Nothing. I smooth the flyer against the copier glass and press start. Glancing up at her skeptical expression, I explain, It’s just this thing I’m doing to earn some extra cash.

Mara frowns. I didn’t know you’re psychic.

My grandmother was. I’m not. You don’t need a direct line to the other side to interpret tarot cards. It just takes practice. I straighten the warm pages as they amble out of the copier.

At the mere thought of Grandie, my throat constricts. I often wonder if she saw her illness on the cards. She taught me everything she knew about the occult, but the one thing she couldn’t pass onto me was her second sight. Whenever we talked about my psychic myopia, she’d tell me glasses for the spiritually nearsighted were just around the corner. I bet Google’s working on them right now, Keira.

I miss her jokes.

One thing she did leave me is an antique tarot deck that she named Sophia. Sometimes I hear Grandie’s voice when I deal out the cards. It’s only an echo, nothing but a memory playing in my head.

But I don’t need any kind of supernatural power to sense Mara’s not herself today. Cautiously, I say, You seemed down when I walked in. You okay?

I’m tired! Her voice rings out like a shotgun. Mara falls heavily into her chair and rubs her temples. Looking contrite, she says, I didn’t mean to lash out.

It’s fine. I can back off. I shrug. And print ten more copies. But if you want to tell me what’s on your mind...

Her deep sigh is louder than the whirring of the copier. Someone left a USB drive in my in-box a couple of days ago. Anonymously.

My fingers hover over the copier keypad. I really shouldn’t stretch the Bugle’s resource budget by printing out more flyers. I gather my pages and join Mara at the desk. What was on it, a computer virus?

Nothing like that. Her mouth twists. It was an article about Jimmy.

She means Jimmy Hawkins. Who else? Dan’s older brother. The Halverston Wolves’ star quarterback. My social circle doesn’t touch Jimmy’s. Doesn’t even overlap. He’s a demigod in this school, in this town. Mr. Perfect. A walking cliché. Even more cliché is the fact that I once had a massive crush on him.

Jimmy’s famous for having a distinct type when it comes to girls: blonde and perky. Invariably, that means cheerleaders or outgoing athletic types. He and Aimee Barton are practically joined at the lip. I am not Jimmy’s type. I once tried to be, even going so far as to bleach my dark brown hair. After the forty-minute process, my hair resembled raw bacon. Now I have deep-space black tresses with a tinge of cobalt. Perfect for a budding tarot entrepreneur.

Are you going to publish the article? Anything about Jimmy is bound to get a lot of hits on the Bugle website. People can’t get enough of him. Life must be tough for Dan, who at times is practically ignored when they’re together. Then again, Dan doesn’t pay much attention to what other people think.

Mara hesitates before replying, No. It’s...it’s damaging. To him.

What do you mean? The only dirt you’d ever find on Jimmy would come from a football field.

She gives me an appraising look before angling her laptop toward me. "I suppose I can trust you, but do not tell anyone what you see here."

I won’t breathe a word.

Mara narrows her eyes. I’ll hold you to that. I don’t want this story getting any oxygen. It dies in this room, okay?

"I promise." What the hell could it be about? Steroid use? Cheating scandal? Maybe he’d gotten someone pregnant—someone other than his girlfriend.

Mara keeps one hand on the laptop, ready to seize it if I give any indication I might renege. My gaze falls on the article’s title: Career Over for Top Quarterback.

Oh, no, I murmur. The article claims college scouts have been lining up to see Jimmy—USC was close to drafting him in to the Trojans. But years of rough play have wreaked permanent damage on Jimmy’s anterior cruciate ligament. His football prospects are in disarray.

This has got to be killing Jimmy. But is the article fact or fiction? If Jimmy is really injured, he’s hiding it well. He swaggers down the school halls. Never limps.

Who wrote this? As a subeditor, I can identify our writers from the very first sentence of the work. This one’s different. Crisp writing and full of impact. Whoever it is should be on the paper.

No clue, but he or she seems to know a lot about Jimmy.

That doesn’t exactly narrow the field of suspects. Everyone in this town knows him, knows of him, or wants to get to know him. People wear T-shirts with his face printed on them, though I only wear mine as PJs. Jimmy attracts huge crowds at games because he’s a touchdown machine. The guy has an uncanny knack for speeding past defensive lines, no matter how densely packed. An injury like that wouldn’t just devastate him—it’d send our whole community into mourning.

Does the story check out?

Mara clears her throat. That pallor in her face is quickly replaced by a wine-colored tinge. I heard Jimmy arguing with his dad a few weeks ago. They were talking about an operation.

How did you...? Oh. I forgot. You live right next door. Lucky girl.

She nods solemnly. Apart from that, I noticed something in the last two games he’s played. He stayed on the bench during the last quarter.

I had noticed, too. The girls around me were happy he stayed in one place long enough so they could admire his muscular back and tousled blond head.

You can’t print this, I say. There are no statements from Jimmy or the coach, for one thing.

She starts to answer, but sound of the door flinging open interrupts. Three cheerleaders stand at the threshold, panting. All dressed up in blue-and-gold uniforms for their weekly mission to stir up teen spirit. Perfumes combine into an invisible, spicy-sweet stench that reaches deep into the newsroom. I notice one person’s missing from the cheerleader swarm—Aimee.

Have you seen Jimmy Hawkins anywhere? one of them, Jen, cries. Although pumped up, curiously, she doesn’t look excited. More like upset. On the verge of tears.

Um... I blink at her like she’s speaking Klingon.

Another cheerleader chokes, He missed a meeting with a college scout, and his brother said he hasn’t come home two nights running. It’s not like him at all.

Jimmy’s missing? A two-hundred-and-twenty-pound quarterback is missing? Straightaway I think of Dan. I push back a familiar lump in my throat and focus on the girls.

Have you seen him? the third cheerleader, Becky Halloran, repeats. She’s a junior like me.

Not since school Monday, I say slowly. It’s now Wednesday. For Jimmy, going to school is a social occasion and he never skips a day. Ever.

I glance at Mara in alarm as the cheerleaders run down the hall. She looks as sick as I feel.

Mara, you don’t think the article had something to do wi— But before I can finish speaking, she sweeps up her belongings and bolts out the door.

* * *

It’s nearly midnight, and my tarot hotline is running cold. Not one call. I’ve studied more than enough for tomorrow’s modern history midterm. It made for a good distraction, and not just from the dismal start to my business venture.

Rumors about Jimmy snowballed as the day went on. I didn’t run into Mara again. Her seat in study hall was empty, so she must have holed up in the Bugle office again. By the time I left school, girls were crying in the corridors. Kids tossed around theories: Jimmy had been abducted by a rival school; Jimmy had been abducted by aliens; Jimmy had spontaneously combusted and his helmet was found by a pile of ashes in the locker room.

I left a bunch of flyers at the mall, but my heart wasn’t in it. All I could think of was what Jimmy’s family must be going through. Especially Dan—somebody I used to know. Several times I wanted to call him, message him to let him know I missed his friendship, but I stopped short. I’m the last person he wants to speak to. I learned his parents are rushing back from an overseas trip. Coming back to heartbreak.

My grandmother’s beloved tarot deck lies before me on a soft black cloth. I have other less expensive decks, but Sophia is by far the prettiest and most meaningful. Grandie bought it in Italy when she was very young and rarely made a decision without consulting her old friend.

Alongside the deck, a chunky quartz crystal reflects my desk lamp’s glow and deflects negativity. Not very well tonight.

I trace the cracked gold leafing on the Empress card. What if...what if I did a reading on Jimmy? Would I be breaking some kind of tarot readers’ code of ethics if I were to read his cards without his permission?

Grandie? Any thoughts on absentee readings?

Silence.

Figures.

I lay out the ten-card formation that is the Celtic Cross. It’s a versatile spread that’s best used when there’s a specific question in mind, like Where is Jimmy Hawkins?

Grandie instructed me to visualize a bubble of white light enveloping me whenever I do a reading. It’s sort of a protective barrier against dark entities. The thought of entities scares me to hell. Use the Light and don’t let the demons bite, she said.

I build that virtual bubble as fast as I can and start turning cards.

But instead of clarity, I get muddled messages. The blues, reds, greens and golds of the intricate illustrations blur into a soupy mess. Even my bubble of light grows dim. Nothing’s coming to me. It’s been a long day. My brain cells are giving up.

Restlessly, I dim the overhead light and tune the radio to a classical music station. Mom’s at work, as usual. I’m home alone on a Wednesday night with Beethoven.

I push a chemistry book off my bed and flop face down. The half a can of pea soup I’d had for dinner sloshes in my belly. Whenever Mom works graveyard shifts at the nursing home, I don’t feel much like fixing myself a real meal.

Christ, what kind of messed-up person would paint their walls black? A deep voice booms.

My face puckers into the mattress. The radio DJ must’ve pressed the wrong button in the studio, disrupting a dreamy violin concerto. There’s a change in atmosphere. The air feels thinner and colder. Goose bumps form on my arm.

What the...? Quickly, I roll over.

And scream loud enough to wake the dead in Halverston Cemetery.

I put a feather pillow between me and the boy in my bedroom. As if that’s going to protect me. I squirm backwards against the navy blue wall.

Get out before I hurt you! Adrenaline surges. Every self-defense maneuver I learned in P.E. last year comes to the fore. Which move should I use first? Short, sharp jab to the throat? Kick down on his kneecap? Or go for the groin?

You can see me? he asks.

Of course I can! What kind of question is that?

Water drips off the intruder’s messy blond locks as he shakes his head. His bluer-than-blue eyes stare into mine. A gaze so full of despair I actually gasp.

That’s when I recognize him.

Jimmy?!

Why the hell would he come to my house? I catch my haggard reflection in the mirror. Quickly I smooth down my hair. It’s dead straight anyway. He isn’t looking at me anymore, so chances are he doesn’t care how bad I look.

I care, though. I care very much, because Jimmy Hawkins is in my bedroom. I’m too stunned to even question how he got in.

He doesn’t...smell like anything. That isn’t normal. Especially the active, outdoorsy kind like him. No body odor. No cologne to mask any body odor. Not even the scent of beer. Yet, Jimmy’s got to be high or drunk, or both. If Mom comes home early and catches him here, I’ll have some explaining to do.

No, Jimmy will have some explaining to do.

Yep. He gives a cheerless smile and jams thick fingers into his jeans pockets. I’d say ‘in the flesh,’ but that’s not exactly true anymore.

What’s that supposed to mean? I see a lot of flesh from where I’m sitting. He’s not exactly Gigantor—five-ten-and-three-quarters, according to yearbook stats—but in my tiny bedroom he dominates the space. I let go of the pillow and ease off the bed, legs wobbling.

He stares at me for a long, deep, electrifying moment. It means...I’m dead.

Chapter Two

Multiple shudders, powerful enough to register on the Richter scale, rocket through me. You can’t be dead. You’re standing right in front of me. And...and you have a game Friday night!

Like that’s a valid reason not to die. It’s an off-season game, but so what? The thought moves thickly through my uncomprehending brain.

Jimmy? Dead?

And I can see his ghost? I’m not psychic or clairvoyant or anything esoteric. I definitely don’t see dead people. But here’s a spiritual being. Devoid of pheromones. Dead yet visible to my naked eye.

No, this is a trick. Jimmy was missing, but now he’s been found. In my bedroom.

Yeah, well...apparently I can die! It blows about the game, too. Thanks for reminding me. He lets out an exaggerated sigh. No air comes out of his lungs. His body seems solid at first glance, but it has a shimmering glow that makes him semi-transparent. You’re friends with my brother, Dan, right? Keira?

I’m too dazed to say Dan and I used to be friends. I just nod, floored that Jimmy even knows my name.

Gingerly, he presses a hand against a deep gash on the left side of his head. A thick burgundy mess

Reviews for This Is Your Afterlife

[darkfaerietales_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Review courtesy of Dark Faerie TalesQuick & Dirty: This story was disappointingly underwhelming.Opening Sentence: “Who died?”The Review:Keira’s life isn’t exactly normal. For one, she has the ability to read tarot cards and she keeps feeling the spirit of her dead grandmother close by. And secondly, the newest development, Keira is clairvoyant and can see ghosts: specifically, the most popular athlete in the school, Jimmy. When he shows up in her room bleeding from a massive head gash and not remembering his death, she doesn’t know what to do, but as a friendship develops with him she feels obligated to find his killer. It’s not easy, though, with his brother Dan (whom she’s been crushing on like crazy since she made a huge mistake years before), his girlfriend Aimee, and the police chief, Charlie, suspicious. Can Keira solve Jimmy’s death and bring him peacefully to the other side?Keira was a decent character, a little cookie cutter in my opinion. She was pretty simple. She had compassion, empathy, bravery, blah blah blah, a very basic character within the throngs of YA female protagonists. I had one problem with her I’m going to nitpick at. It’s probably the stupidest issue I could have but I could not let it go: her eyes always “teared up”. The amount of times her eyes would get wet but she wouldn’t actually start crying was substantial. In the first couple chapters, I feel like it happened five times. Obviously this isn’t something that you need to not read the book because of, this is just something that caught my attention, and you can easily ignore it if you don’t focus too hard.Dan was an okay love interest. He was at least a more interesting character than Keira, with his artist skills and humor. Ever since Becky’s Closet, Keira’s relationship with him has been strained, to say the least. When they got chosen together for seven minutes in heaven, Keira made the mistake of letting slip she was hoping to be paired with his brother Jimmy. As soon as he got upset and left, she realized oh no! It’s been him I wanted all along! Obviously that was awkward, and Keira definitely longs for the easy chatter and friendship they had BC (before closet). Eventually they regain that and though Keira makes a couple more dumb mistakes, they forgive each other.The mystery in this book had two parts. One was where Jimmy was supposed to end up. Would he be stuck to roam the earth with Keira as his guide, without moving on, forever and ever? Or would he go to heaven, or the afterlife, or whatever really exists after death? If so, how will they get him their? This was resolved pretty cleanly and I didn’t have problems with how it turned out. The other part of the mystery, however, I wasn’t a huge fan of. Basically they want to find Jimmy’s killer. There isn’t a trail of clues. It’s basically Keira testing who she finds suspicious and hoping she ends up with the right person. She stumbled along in the dark ignoring what was in front of her all along. My suspicion was correct all along, it was pretty obvious, although I was annoyed that her/his real motives weren’t reveled until the person was.In the end, I found this book disappointingly underwhelming. It was enjoyable enough, I guess. It was paced well and the plot was solid. But the book didn’t add anything unique to the genre at all. It was cookie cutter characters, cookie cutter plotline, simple writing style. Nothing really special. There was humor, and I liked that. It was nice to get the chance to laugh during the story. I think that this book will be more enjoyable to others, but I just wasn’t feeling it.Notable Scene:Jimmy had everything – looks, brains, popularity. Those were the things that drew people to him. Those were also the things that made people insanely jealous.And if that’s the case, everyone’s a suspect in Jimmy’s death.FTC Advisory: Bloomsbury Spark provided me with a copy of This is Your Afterlife. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.