Breathless: The Chasing Hearts Series, #2

By Vanessa Marie

Breathless is a continuation of Heartless.

This book is not meant to read as a standalone.

Recommended for adult readers (18+) only. Mature themes, strong language, and sexual content.

For once in Charlie’s life, she has something she'd never allowed herself to have before.
Hope.
All because of Sam’s love.
He fought for her. No matter the cost.
He loved her even when she couldn't allow herself to feel loved.
Now, when things feel like they might go smoothly for once in her life.
The unexpected happens. Her fate. Her constant date with Death.
A reality that completely blindsides her when life once again rears it’s ugly head.
Shattering any sense of a future she ever felt she could grasp, even if only for a second.
Will she give in and surrender to her fate?
Will she retreat, pushing away everyone she loves to hold onto her secrets?
Or will she fight? Fight for Sam, fight for their love, the way he's always fought for her?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Vanessa Marie
• Release date: Nov 11, 2014
• ISBN: 9781502226938

Vanessa Marie

Always dancing to the beat of her own drum, Vanessa is a heavily tattooed, sarcastic, motorcycle enthusiast who started her career as a ASE Certified Jeep technician at the age of sixteen. Her obsessions of watching Turkish dizi TV shows, or yelling at an NHL game (GO VGK) while reading simultaneously often battle her family.  At the age of 26 and becoming a pacemaker recipient—she decided the over 60 crowd was more her scene and learned to knit. She lives in Kentucky (by way of Las Vegas) with her family and crazy cats. 

Book preview

Charlie Evans sat in the waiting room of her cardiologist's office for her monthly checkup, trying to avoid eye contact with the geezers staring at her and her best friend, Jules. It was always the same kind of look, like she had no business being there. Unfortunately for her, she did.

She picked at her nails and bounced her foot, hoping the visit would go well. Her test results would be back from the previous week and she really didn't want to hear what her doctor had to say. The back and forth about whether or not she was going to need a transplant had grated on her nerves to the point she had no patience left. A part of her felt guilty for lying to her boyfriend, Sam, and telling him it was just a routine checkup. He had a meeting anyway and she didn't see any point in getting him worked up if there wasn't anything to be worried about. He wasn't happy with her for insisting he didn't need to be there, but he seemed to relax a little when she said she'd drag Jules along.

Jules tossed a magazine down on the table next to him with a loud smack. Every magazine in this joint has like six ads for Viagra in it. He looked at the older man seated next to him. What's your name, friend?

Frank, and for the record, there is nothing wrong with Viagra. He winked at Jules.

Maybe not, but from my vast penis knowledge there's only enough blood flow to control one head at a time. So, if you're in this joint, it means you have a bad ticker, he paused and tapped his chest. "Sending all your blood south, to get your little friend up—is that really a good idea, Frank?" Jules cocked his head to the side with a sly smile.

Frank stared at Jules with his mouth agape. He was in shock, clearly not sure if he should be offended or downright appalled by Jules' lack of filter.

Shaking her head, Charlie bounced her foot harder and stared at the door that led to the exam rooms.

Kill me now.

The door opened to the back and her nurse, Nicole, stepped out. Ms. Evans.

Oh, thank God.

She shoved out of her seat and practically ran for the door.

How you doing today, kiddo? Nicole asked.

Other than listening to jackass here? I'm okay I guess. She gestured back to Jules and rolled her eyes.

Nicole arched a brow. Are you harassing the other patients again, Julian?

They walked toward the scale and Jules scrunched his face in mock horror. "I would never."

She got on and off the scale in record time and followed Nicole into the exam room. Jules plopped down in one of the chairs and made a duck face at her.

Why do I bring this moron with me?

So, how have you been feeling? Has anything changed since last month? Nicole asked, as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Charlie's arm.

Nope. Same ol' shit, different day.

Well, that's good to hear for once.

After going through all of her medications and finishing her vitals, Nicole left the room. Jules walked over to the box of medical gloves on the wall and pulled out a pair. He blew air into one of them to unstick the latex and slid his hand into it.

What the hell are you doing? Charlie stared him down.

Improvising. It may not be white, and it may not be bedazzled, but obviously I need to smack a bitch. And this is about as pimp as it gets around here. He shook his gloved hand in front of her face.

She smacked his hand away. The only bitch that's going to get smacked is you.

Who you calling a bitch, bitch?

Oh my God, really? Why do you act like a douche canoe every time we come here? She shook her head, not really in the mood for his antics.

Because you need to tell the good doc that you're tired as hell instead of saying that things are the same.

I'm fine.

He hauled off and backhanded her bicep with his rubber glove.

Ow, prick. Take that fucking glove off before I shove it down your throat. Just as she stood, the door opened and Dr. Brown walked in.

"Well, it's good to see some things never change. Charlie … Julian." He walked over and sat down at his computer.

Charlie glared at Jules who hid his hand behind his back and failed miserably to get the glove off unnoticed.

So, I got your test results back from your echocardiogram. He paused and rubbed the back of his neck. It came back positive, which we pretty much knew was going to happen. At this point I don't know if I want to do an angiogram yet to look around or not.

I vote for not.

Jules kicked her in the shin.

Son of a bitch, she growled. I'm going to murder you if you hit me one more time, asshole.

Tell him then. Or I will.

Dr. Brown rose from his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. Tell me what?

It's not a big deal. I'm just tired. She shrugged, but knew it was a big deal.

Charlie, it is a big deal. You're in heart failure. Every symptom, no matter how minimal you think it is—I need to know about. If you tell me you're feeling fine, I'm not going to push to do other tests, but if I know you're not, there are things we can do.

"Doc, I'm tired of playing this game of will I–won't I need a transplant. You said a couple of months ago my ejection fraction was better."

Did you just say erection? Jules interrupted with his lips turned up into a smug smile.

They all laughed and the tension rose from Charlie's shoulders. She remembered why she brought him with her. Jules was always good to lighten the mood when things got a little too heavy.

Not erection, you pervert. There are no pretty boys here, so calm your nuts. Ejection fraction is the measurement of how well the heart pumps, stupid. Now shut up while the adults talk.

Jules flipped her off and settled back into his chair.

Anyway, getting back to things before Jules got all excited. You said my EF was better. So, does that mean I won't have to have the transplant?

I wish I could give you that answer, but you know I can't. He sat down at his computer and plugged away at the keys, studying the screen. Your number is still under forty. It's better than it was, but it's still not great. I think we need to have an honest discussion about an ICD. He turned to face her.

Her scowled deepened. She'd asked about ICDs years ago, but they'd told her it wasn't necessary and there was no benefit for her. The sudden change of heart pissed her off. She was just tired of being cut open and didn't want another foreign object in her body that could end up in a complication—or worse—death.

Is my last name Murphy? Do I look like fucking RoboCop? No way. Charlie dropped her head and rubbed her face while she tried to process what he just said.

What the hell is an ICD? Jules asked looking from Dr. Brown to Charlie.

It's like a pacemaker but it has a defibrillator in it too, Charlie said, staring at the floor. So, it can shock the ever-loving shit out of you whenever it wants.

They do not shock you just for the hell of it, Dr. Brown interjected.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Sure, Doc. Whatever you say. I'm already bionic enough, you might as well call me Data and beam me up Scotty. I don't need another hunk of metal in me telling my heart when to beat."

"You may not have a choice, Charlie. We're running out of options and I don't know how long you'll be on the transplant list. This could possibly get you off the list."

"I do have a choice and the answer is no. Are we done here?" She hopped off the exam table and walked over to the door.

No, we're not. I haven't even examined you yet. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you can't run from it.

The last thing she expected to hear was that she would need a pacemaker or an ICD.

Who the hell are you to tell me what I'm running from?

Without a second look back, she stormed out the door and office.

I'm not getting a fucking ICD. Fuck that. Fuck him.

When she reached her truck, she got in and started it. She was ready to leave Jules if he didn't hurry the hell up.

He walked across the parking lot with a folder in his hand, shaking his head. As soon as he got in the truck, he gave her the dirtiest look he'd ever given her.

What are you, five?

This, coming from the guy who brought up erections? Nice.

He was talking to you about something important and you just threw a shit fit and walked out. What is your problem?

She slammed on the gas and peeled out of the parking lot. Are you kidding me? I'm sick and tired of getting cut open. So, excuse me for not wanting to hear a bunch of bullshit about something I don't need.

Do you have MD after your name? Last time I checked, you didn't. He's been your doctor for a long time. I don't think he'd tell you that you needed one unless you did. He turned his body on the seat to face her.

I'm not talking about this right now. So, get off my back. She jerked the wheel, cutting in and out of traffic. All she wanted to do was get home and swim. She needed to process what she just heard and that was the only way she knew how to do it. Pushing the surgery from her mind, she decided it was the last thing she was going to think about it. They couldn't force her to do it. She could make it to the transplant without the stupid overpriced hunk of metal.

Do I look like a monkey? I'm not on your back. Yet. But you not talking works for me. Keep your trap shut and I'll do the talking.

Julian. Shut. Your. Fucking. Face.

Ohh, listen to that ladies and gents. She's growling at me. Maybe I can get her to purr like a little kitten next.

Fuming, she ground her teeth and shook her head back and forth silently when all she wanted to do was punch him as hard as she could in the jaw so he'd just shut up.

I swear to God … if you don't shut up, I'm going to pull over and kick you out of this truck.

He must have sensed she was serious because he went silent. Thankfully.

Come on, light. I need the water.

Sam walked down Charlie's driveway not quite sure what he was getting ready to walk into. Jules had called and told him what happened at the doctor's office. Joe apparently tried talking to her, too, but she wouldn't hear it from him, either.

As soon as he rounded the back corner of the house, the familiar splashing sound confirmed his suspicions. She was in the pool swimming laps instead of dealing with her issues. He pulled his shirt off over his head, leaving his dark hair a disheveled mess, and kicked off his shoes.

He waited until she flipped at the end of her lap and was headed back toward him to walk into the water … directly into her path. She came up for air right before she smacked into him.

Hey. What are you doing here? She pushed her hair back and wiped the water droplets from her face.

Your lapdog called. You ready to talk? He watched her and waited, knowing she was going to be pissed Jules ratted her out.

What's there to talk about? She turned to swim away from him but he reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her back to his chest.

He breathed heavily with his lips right next to her ear. I wish you'd run to me for once, instead of away from me.

The smoldering look in her eyes distracted him for a second as she slid her long fingers up his bare chest and into his dark messy hair. With her lips almost touching his, she whispered, Is this better?

Much. He cupped her cheek and skimmed his thumb across her skin before he closed the small gap between their lips. Her lips were soft against his as they moved together in unison, with his tongue dipping into her mouth, brushing against hers. A small moan escaped her throat as he pulled away.

Now that I have your attention, do you want to talk about what happened this morning?

No, Sam. I don't. Because I don't need one. She pushed away from his chest and laid her head back in the water.

Not sure if she'd be able to hear him or not, he ran his fingers down her sternum before he spoke. Babe, I did some research on it. This could be a good thing.

She lifted her head and smoothed her hair back. Well, I'm glad you're some kind of expert now because you read a few things on Wikipedia.

The frown lines in the corners of his mouth deepened. He knew she lashed out when she felt backed into a corner. At least she was talking about it instead of bottling it up. So, it was a step in the right direction.

Charlie, your doctor is a world renowned cardiac surgeon. He's not some shade-tree mechanic.

Then he needs to stop treating me like a goddamn used car. They can't just keep throwing random parts at me haphazardly and hoping something fixes me. My engine is shot. It needs to be replaced. It's already been rebuilt and it's still misfiring. So, they need to stop putting Band-Aids on it and just do the damn thing already. Is that enough car metaphors for you? A smile crept across her face.

Sam reached forward to cup her chin tenderly and kissed her forehead. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her head into his naked chest, and exhaled.

He nuzzled his nose in her wet hair. I know you're scared, but if they do this, it could mean you may not need the transplant at all. Just promise me you'll really think about it and get all the facts before you say no.

Okay.

Shocked she didn't argue, he pulled back and stared at her with his mouth hung open into an O.

Oh, shut up. I'm not arguing for once. Be happy.

This is what worries me. You never give in this easily. Either hell has frozen over, or you have another plan brewing in that pretty, yet evil brain of yours.

Her lips turned up in the sexy, mischievous smile he loved so much. I may have ulterior motives.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and pressed her chest against his.

If those motives are like anything I have going on in my mind right now, I can get on board with those, he said in his favorite spot, just below her ear.

Sam's large hand took her face and held it gently, sliding it up the back of her neck and into her hair, while his other hand reached around her ass. She pulled his bottom lip into her mouth, lightly biting it when they heard someone clear his throat. He wasn't sure if it was her father, Joe, or not and quickly pulled away from her.

It was Jules. He stood there with a disgusted look on his face. Do you two have to be all over each other every waking second? I mean seriously. It's really starting to get annoying.

Charlie narrowed her eyes and stalked toward him. Amused, Sam just watched her work. Listen here, you cock-blocking motherfucker. This is the third time this week you have interrupted my get-it-on session. Go away!

Just for that, I'll show you what a real cock block is, Jules sneered at her and pulled off his shirt. Sam had a feeling he knew what was going to happen but didn't want to get in the middle of them.

You wouldn't, she dared him.

Wouldn't I? Since I'm a cock-blocking motherfucker and all, I might as well live up to the name you bestowed upon me. Jules' smile was wicked as he kicked off his shoes and walked down into the pool. Taking his time, careful to make each step count, he never took his eyes off of Charlie's.

And this is where I go. Sam rose out of the water and shook his head.

Where are you going? she asked.

He gestured between the two of them. I'm not getting in the middle of this. I'll call you later. Leaning in, he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and got out of the pool. He grabbed a towel from the stack next to the chairs and dried off.

Charlie's brows furrowed and she glared at Jules. I hate you.

You love me. Besides, you can play hide the dragon anytime.

Hide the dragon? What planet do you live on? Who the hell calls it that?

You called it a get-it-on session.

She splashed him in the face right before he made a dive for her, taking her underwater with him. Sam shook his head and headed for his Jeep. They needed time together, however it could wait. Jules was worried and he knew it. At least they were talking … kind of. That was what mattered.

The takeout bags were slipping out of her hands as she opened Sam's front door. Help. The food isn't going to make it.

Sam rushed over and grabbed the bags out of her hands before they hit the floor.

Nice save, Guardian Belikov.

Laughing, Sam shook his head. She loved the fact he knew exactly what she was referencing. Ya know, I'm not sure if I should be worried about how obsessed you are with that series or flattered that you compare me to a man they call a god.

Oh, I can call you God later if you make me scream loud enough.

You two are sickening, Alex, Sam's cousin, said as she sat on the kitchen countertop. Jules is right. I'm going to vomit. And I'm too pretty to vomit. So, please just stop with your unnecessary dirty talk and give me my damn food.

Charlie flashed her a big smile. Hey, Al.

Hey, Charl.

"I'm going to let that go because I'm assuming you're hangry, she retorted with clear sarcasm. Otherwise, there would be a verbal smack down happening right now."

A fond smile appeared across Alex's face. I have no doubt. Now where's my mu shu pork?

Sam set the bags of takeout down on the counter and pulled out all of the containers. Damn, babe. You weren't kidding when you said you were ordering one of everything.

Charlie shrugged. "Hey, a girl's gotta eat. Besides, it sounds like Alex is going to go Lord of the Flies and start eating us if we don't feed her now."

They piled their plates full and sat down at the dining table together.

So, how was the rest of your swim? Sam asked.

It was okay, I guess.

Did you two make up?

Alex looked up in confusion with a mouthful of food. Who's fighting?

No one. Not really, Charlie said and took a bite. The sweet and sour chicken tasted like heaven in her mouth.

I call bullshit, Alex said, spitting rice out of her mouth.

They all laughed at how gross she was. Jules and Charlie. They got into it earlier and then he showed up in the middle of … things.

Charlie pursed her lips, suddenly annoyed all over again. The images flashed in her mind again of how she was wrapped around Sam in the pool. Her lips still felt swollen from the intensity of their kiss before Jules interrupted them.

Something smacked her in the head and brought her out of her trance. Hey, what the hell? She looked down at the fortune cookie that just hit her in the face. "That's food abuse. They may be five years old and they may be stale, but they are perfectly edible. How could you, Alex?"

Alex didn't even bother trying to hide her smirk. Sorry. Can you ever forgive me?

"As long as you promise to never abuse food in that manner ever again. It is for devouring or smothering all over yourself for someone else to devour only. Got it?"

Both girls burst out into laughter.

Something is seriously wrong with the two of you. Sam shook his head and took a bite of an egg roll.

It was easy being around them. It was as simple as breathing.

So, are you excited for your classes to start in the next couple of weeks? Alex asked as she took another bite of her food.

School wasn't something Charlie was excited about in general. It was a means to an end. She shrugged. I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm excited.

Did you pick a major yet? Alex asked.

Charlie glanced at Sam. She figured he would have told her, but he nodded at her in approval, and kept silent as he ate. Business management.

Really?

Why does that seem like such a surprise? She was almost offended that people seemed shocked every time she told them her major. Graduating with a 4.0 must not have been that impressive or maybe everyone thought she was dumb. Who knows?

It's not really. I just figured you'd go into something with English or writing of some sort. Why business?

Other than talking to Sam about it, Alex was the first person that had really asked. Everyone else had made some asshole comment about it. I want to start a nonprofit for families of kids like me.

Smart mouthed, pain in the asses? Sam chimed in, wearing a smirk.

She picked up a piece of her sweet and sour chicken and threw it at him, but he caught it in his mouth. Tasty.

You got lucky. Charlie narrowed her eyes.

That's skill, baby.

No, seriously. What's the nonprofit going to do? Alex looked like she was actually interested in a serious conversation for once.

Help the families. Whether it's with medical bills, a place to stay, education classes for the families, counselors for the kids … whatever they need. Kind of like a Ronald McDonald House, but on a different scale and for kids specifically with cardiac problems.

That sounds really amazing, Charlie. If anyone can do it, I have no doubt it's you.

Thanks, Alex.

You should talk to my boss. He's on a chair for some nonprofit stuff. He might know a few places you might be able to volunteer or get involved with in the meantime, if you're interested.

Wow. That would be really great. Yeah, I might check into it.

Cool. I'll get you his info later tonight, but you know … Sammy might get a little jealous.

Sam scoffed. I don't get jealous.

Sure ya don't. You haven't seen Tristian. He's hot!

Charlie wondered why Sam would get jealous over that. Who's Tristian?

"My boss. He's like the please bend me over your desk and tell me I was a naughty, naughty girl kinda hot."

The girls laughed and Sam looked like he didn't know what to think. That's how you talk about your boss? Really, Alex?

She shrugged in her casual not caring way. Hey, just calling a spade a spade. I don't want to send my girl here into the lion's den and not let her know what she's walking into.

Charlie glanced over at Sam, who was frowning. She patted him on the hand. Don't worry, babe. The only person I'll let bend me over their desk is you. Although, now that I think of it, you never did that while I was your student. She pursed her lips. I feel kind of gypped now.

Sam's face twisted from amused to pissed in a nano second. He pushed away from the table and walked away.

I guess it's still too soon for those jokes, Charlie said. She wanted to follow him and apologize, but knew he needed time to cool down. It was his biggest internal struggle and it obviously still bothered him.

He'll get over it. He's not your teacher anymore, and it's not like you guys actively dated last year. Alex acted like everything was so black and white.

Life wasn't black or white; it was muddy and gray, and that's right where they lived … smack dab in the middle of it.

Yeah, but people aren't going to see it that way. I don't know if anyone at the school knows or what will happen if they find out. The lightness of the mood had shifted and she regretted her joke more than ever.

"Well, don't worry about it right now. It'll work out and he'll get over his internal battle of ethics. Honestly, I don't know why he's still bent about it. Just eat your sweet and sour chicken. Letting that get cold is the real crime here."

Charlie rolled over and stretched her arms over her head with a yawn. She blinked her eyes open a few times expecting to find Sam asleep next to her, but he was nowhere to be found. Sitting up, she frowned and pulled the comforter tight around her.

"Keep that pouty