The Opinionated Old Cow: Ruminations from the Field
By Alena Schram
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About this ebook
After a lifetime of enforced diplomatic conduct, Alena Schram has begun venting her opinions on subjects dear to the dicky hearts of baby boomers: from the perils of Facebook, the annoying tendencies of husbands who co-shop, and the defective rearing of grandchildren, to sports cars for the menopausal, bras that winch, and chin hairs with minds of their own. The Opinionated Old Cow: Ruminations from the Field is a frivolous yet affectionate observation of life from the standpoint of a seen-it-all, done-it-all, and know-it-all, sexagenarian.
Advance Praise for The Opinionated Old Cow
“Hmmm ... I guess you can tell them about that...”
– John, husband
“Honestly, Mum, MUST you?!”
– Elizabeth, daughter
“My life’s an open book ... well, not THAT open!”
– Katherine, daughter
“I’ve found you a lovely Home, Ma. It’s in North Dakota, but close to the Canadian border.”
– Peter, son
“‘Shrek-sized bras?’ Really? And you call yourself a friend?”
– Janet (“Ready for Anything”), ex-friend
“I’ll have you know I do NOT use Botox! And I’ll thank you not to imply otherwise!”
– Ava (“Wattles in the Wind”), current enemy
Alena Schram
Alena Schram (aka the Opinionated Old Cow) grew up and attended university in Toronto. She has spent a lifetime trailing her husband John, a retired Canadian ambassador, around the world. Together they served in seven overseas capitals and raised three children. Still married to each other (and in perpetual, perfect harmony), they live on an island in Lake Ontario, where Alena spends her time writing about – and alienating – her family, friends, and neighbours. Her columns have appeared in Canadian newspapers and magazines as well as the International Herald Tribune (now the International New York Times).
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