Date Expectations

By Rainbow Albrecht

By day, Jack works for a petty tyrant at a dead end job. His version of night life is beer and TV at his filthy apartment. His minimalist approach to hygiene leaves him with no social life, so he takes matters into his own hands (for once only figuratively). He gets much more than he bargained for when he answers the ad for "Simulacrum Spanish Fly" in the back of a dirty magazine...

-----

On Thursday, Jack got a package. It was a box in a Plain Brown Wrapper, just as the ad promised. The simulacrum Spanish Fly was a brown liquid inside a small bottle with a tacky label.

Jack opened the bottle and sniffed. There was no aroma, or at least none that rose above the noisome apartment's ambient funk. He held it up to the light. "Bill said it was fake, but you never know 'till you try," he muttered to himself with forced optimism. Jack took a sip to see what would happen. It tasted faintly of sassafras with a hint of lemon and ginseng, but nothing suggesting cayenne. That boosted his spirits; according to an article in Wanker, the Chinese swore by ginseng. He watched some TV, to allow it time to have effect.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rainbow Albrecht
• Release date: Aug 4, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311307750

Rainbow Albrecht

Rainbow's parents met during the Summer of Love. He was conceived and born in the back of a VW Bus. When he was one, they attended Woodstock (Rainbow was particularly impressed by Grace Slick's awesome voice).As the years went on, his parents brought up their love child to be an environmentally conscious liberal embodying peace in the world. In the fullness of time, he became an environmentally conscious reactionary who believes in peace through superior firepower. Today, he fixes servers for a living but would prefer to be a supervillain plotting world domination on a remote volcanic island.Becoming a dictator is a tough career change to pull off, so he channels his evil genius into creative writing. Mostly it is science fiction and fantasy parodies, and he aims for the golden mean of cheesiness which makes a story so bad that it's good.

Book preview

��cbook_preview_excerpt.htmlmU�n�F���l�q�<�M!(�qQǁ�E��W�D��!���F/_�sg��
�D��=�<�l������k�������������^��v|����v[��v�{�]�gڛ6p7&,ċ��yեl�v���=���7o��]�,{�*��}��^'�����i�����!�Нc�J#�|�1r$��Gݍ�'�=e�o'i��t�l/�v�_�޶�G�+͡���q�g>i���Yw�@���TER��H�S�G�r����,��FT�8�{��v�MFu�O�p=i��� L��V8�����^UN�?�����S�!��#�9�Sp�q�d�sڻ�@��(�1%�RV��M�h�>i7�I=��B��KV��uʁ�B�?�U�����@��jV:
�
g�Pd��0���d��΂2&?M�7��ꎨ����4�b�~C#��f��$ ęą�8���{��J���7o��Ҭb�� �'J��皙���*�$��&,����Ng̠�#���L�-aJ��ji����U9 �X,h^��/����_>�������CC7 ���U0f��[�z)���������$-$�)�����: ���{���q%K[�6�Tv��r0@��4��A�;,?��H� �U��Tr`����!���8�z]�9b�����$(-�xaQM���ڵ�hp�G��f(���N�mb1��hz�.�zq�?r/aK�/=:�^*Q���軲����t�vr��Aߣ(���]�@��pNa�s�9��8�V-myOQ��Ƈ,�ɦg�_��%�JDJ�92OՖ&H�6+.驌.��7��BT�q�k(��/|��Dz�z���ӄ�RȠU��I���
�B�ً�lY���n6�k��-
��$����)���%f��D:���w���G�T��� j`���mB��-��Vv�����~�RQ�9i��cX�� �-�#�J7Y��[]"q�Vǟn�W���{��\:���Ttw\��L�w`��>#I\)_�8]��.�ʸ�%��ȩ��ra����j#8j����D�P ��,%�q�E%��p��~�:p%DL1)��&�K�6��(�
Wê@��U6)V�I�
'2��