In Times of Grief

By Francis Wagner

A terrifying sense of powerlessness overwhelms us when we lose a loved one. As Christians, we mourn like anyone else. And yet, however deep our sorrow may be, our faith, hope, and love are stronger than death. The passing of a loved one is not the end, we believe, but a step toward the Resurrection. The authors lend words of wisdom intended to help show you the way. In the midst of our grief, we look forward to the Resurrection of Christ, who is the lamp that lights our path (cf. Psalm 119:105) and dispels our fear. This five-chapter book focuses on themes originally published as individual titles in our Catholic Perspectives CareNotes series.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Aug 12, 2014
• ISBN: 9781497678668

Book preview

Chapter I

Joy in the Midst of Grief: The Catholic Funeral

By Fr. Vincent Tobin, O.S.B.

It had been a terrifying week. His mother saw it coming. The once adoring crowds were quietly disappearing, the authorities more insistent on conformity. The mock trial was held, and savage punishment ensued. Finally, they nailed him to a tree. She stood there numb, watching it all, her heart wounded from the heavy sword of sorrow. She was there when they took him down, wrapped the torn body in a linen cloth, and laid him in a stranger’s tomb. Mary, the mother of Jesus, had experienced the first Christian burial.

Through the tears and stunned grief, the mother began to remember some of the things he had said: I will rise again. I am the resurrection and the life. These thoughts were incomprehensible, but they wouldn’t go away. They attacked the grief with searing sparks of hope. This couldn’t be the end.

On Sunday three days later, two of his moping followers were complaining about how their high hopes in the man Jesus now seemed so foolish. A stranger came up and began walking beside them, quietly leading them to a hopeful understanding of the Calvary tragedy. Their hearts were burning. They came to an inn. Inside, at the table when he broke the bread, the flash of recognition almost blinded them: He was alive! The world had changed forever.

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It is by the Eucharist that the community of the faithful, especially the family of the deceased, learn to live in communion with the one who ‘has fallen asleep in the Lord,’ by communicating in the Body of Christ of which he is a living member, and then, praying for him and with him.

—Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1689

Working your way through

When a family member is at death’s door, it is normal to resist reality: Dad will get better; there are all kinds of new treatments; there is an experimental miracle drug; I’m making a vow to God; we’re taking him to Lourdes. We can—we must—look into every possibility in heaven and on earth of restoring to health the ones we love. Having done all that can be done, we watch, cry, pray, hope, and wait. Then, we accept.

Come forward, receive the gift of life-giving water. The priest comes bearing God-for-the-Journey, the Bread of Life. Candles give soft light. We cross ourselves with the blessed water sprinkled on us, its splashing purity a reminder of Baptism. The family joins in the prayers that speak of here and hereafter, of tears, and of a Father’s hand drying them. The holy oil—Spirit-strength poured out for health of body and soul—touches forehead and hands.

And then, with unstoppable tears, we bend the ear to those journey-words, "Go forth, Christian soul, from this world in the name of God the Almighty Father, who created you, in