Relinquish

By Amy Thompson

Regan has a life in Georgia. She is going to school, has managed to make some friends, and has even found a new love interest in Colter. So what happens when she can’t hide what she is anymore? When do all the lies become too much to handle? And how much longer can she hold onto her sanity—while Agro pushes her closer and closer to the edge of no return—her ascension to Elite?

Colter is beautifully oblivious. Wanting so much to believe that Regan is safe, and Agro has been halted, he ignores Finn’s constant skepticism at the risk of their friendship. Overlooking what is so clearly right in front of him, Colter passes off Regan’s outbursts of emotion on her recent trauma. Colter can feel Regan—his one exception to his retribution—slipping out of his arms, but fighting her to stay with him may not be an option.

Colter and Finn are now at odds, and there is a newly formed alliance between Kaiden and Exile Max. Will this group of Collectors be enough to fight off the new enemies and old threats that emerge in the battle for souls when Regan is broken, and their group is on the brink of self-destruction?

The lost will be found, the Collectors will be exiled, and the Elites will reign.

Due to mature content and adult themes, Relinquish is recommended for 17+.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Amy Thompson
• Release date: Jun 16, 2014

Book preview

Chapter 1: Regan

Just a Dream

I tossed and turned in bed for the better part of the night. It had been almost six months since I’d last seen Agro or even an Exile, yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that they were around, watching and waiting. They were waiting for me. Finn, Kaiden, Max and even Colter had no idea, and that’s the way it had to stay. They couldn’t know what was going on with me—what I was becoming.

It would hurt Colter the most to know that I’d become the one thing he had vowed to fight against, the one thing that could keep him from getting his revenge against Agro. I had become the one thing Colter hated. I was an Exile, and not just any Exile. I was an Elite.

I didn’t want to believe it at first. Hell, I still hadn’t accepted it. The thing was, the more time that went by, the more I heard Agro speaking to me. The more he spoke to me, the more he was able to influence me. The more that happened, the more I came to trust in the fact that I was no longer a lost soul, I had been found, and I was Agro’s. Though my soul was no longer lost in the limbo between the light and the dark, I was losing the very essence of who I was to the uncontrollable claim he held over me.

I’d almost died the night Agro kidnapped me. He created Max to betray me, and Max had brought me to my killer. At first, the Collectors believed that Agro was only after me, which was true, but Colter and I were linked.

Agro had explained it to me once—yeah, before he tried to rip my soul from my body. He told me that the death of the original lost soul—that would be me—meant that the Council was no longer worthy of the powers that had been bestowed upon them by Heaven and Hell. It made sense. The Council messed up the first lost soul, so every soul following was bound to be fucked up too, right?

Now Colt was part of the Collectors—the Council’s answer to their Agro problem—so his death would convey the failure of the Council to counter Agro. He would prove that the Council was incompetent to handle the situation, namely the lost and the Exiles.

Here’s the fun part, losing a lost like me and a retributive soul like Colter defaults the Council’s power back to Heaven and Hell and seeing as though Agro would have been the one to sacrifice these souls that power would revert back to him.

Well what good did all that power do someone who is stuck rotting in the depths of a fiery Hell? Agro had a big shiny tag screaming Bound for Hell but that didn’t really work with his plan for total-realm domination. That was exactly why Agro planned to tag Colter for Hell, using his restored Council powers, and then send Colter in his place. However, he couldn’t do that until I was dead, and the Council ceased to be. Worse, was that I was Colter’s only exception to his retribution. Meaning, I was the only one who could end the curse Agro had placed on him for every reincarnated life he lived, and he would be forced to watch me die. What I couldn’t do was end the ceaseless cycle of lives Colter and the other Collectors were forced to suffer through, only Agro’s death would ensure that.

Without me and Colter in the picture, and without the Requiem Council in the bigger picture, Agro would have the stolen, raw power, of the two most powerful ethereal entities, Heaven and Hell. He would be able to tag souls as he pleased and start an all-out Exile uprising to reign over the lost creating a literal Hell on Earth.

Everything had changed.

I had only sort of died, so the Council’s power remained intact. I really didn’t know what had become of the Requiems or the lost souls. The Council was the result of the first lost soul being neither tagged for Heaven nor Hell, and was comprised of most of the first souls to ever be tagged, ten in all. For every soul tagged for Heaven on the committee, there was a soul tagged for Hell, and together they judge the lost souls. Their collective power laid in their judgments and their ability to reincarnate a lost soul. Their powers were balanced in perfect equilibrium between the powers of Heaven and Hell. In this world, my new world, the Council’s purpose was charged in finding the lost souls and deciding their fate—Heaven or Hell—by weighing virtues and sins. Of course, the Council might decide that the soul was not fit for Heaven or Hell and thus lost, which would give them a new reincarnated life to try again.

The Collectors had lost the protection the Council offered, they’d lost their purpose, and with it their chance at redemption all because they went against Council orders for me. The only beacon of hope they had now was killing Agro to end their reincarnation and to find their exception to end their retribution. Even then, when they died they wouldn’t be tagged, and they would simply cease to exist.

I hadn’t died that night in the warehouse which should have been a good thing, only I really should have died that night.

I had been dying, but Agro had prevented it. His plans had obviously changed the moment Colter had been released, the moment he knew that even if I died and he was able to unbind himself from the destroyed Council, he would be sent directly to Hell, the place he had been tagged for, without the trade Colter offered. The only reason Agro was still Earth bound was because the Council still existed to guide souls. With the Council destroyed, and the powers revoked, those serving the Council would return to their tagged final destination.

I flipped over to my stomach a few strands of hair sticking to my now sweat drenched face. This hidden world and Agro had changed every aspect of my life. He’d completely turned my life inside out. Agro had saved me from death and sentenced me to something far worse. I was his now, his Elite. I was a puppet, and Agro was pulling the strings.

At first, it was little things that alerted me to the fact that I was different. These things had changed since the night Colt and I had both almost lost our lives. Originally, it was just summoning an Exile knife or hearing his voice in my head influencing my thoughts. But now, it was like he was governing my actions, my choices. I hadn’t felt it so much throughout the second semester, but over the summer, I had been pushed almost into complying. It was not just that he told me what he wanted me to do. I felt what he wanted me to feel, and it was getting harder and harder to discern my own thoughts and beliefs from his. My soul was stained with his darkness, and I feel the cold seeping into me, causing me to react more and more with anger than anything else. My emotions—it’s like when that part of my soul died, they had too, except the insidious ones. That is, unless I was with Colter.

My pillow was cold on the underside, and I sunk deeper into my soft sheets cushioning my body. I was praying to find some sleep.

Do I even have the right to pray anymore?

The summer was almost over, and I was close to starting my second year at Georgia Liberty College. Colter was taking a victory lap this year for me and becoming a super senior. Finn was still teaching biology, although I didn’t have his class this year, and Kaiden was just hanging around doing whatever Kaiden did. Max had graduated and taken an internship working with Finn in the biology department. Those two were really getting along well, and Kaiden had seemed more like himself since Devon had died.

I couldn’t stop thinking that Agro was going to kill Max soon for his betrayal, but he hadn’t yet. Maybe that wasn’t how it worked. Maybe Agro couldn’t re-inflict the injuries that had almost killed us. All I know is that those injuries had healed with a piece of Agro’s soul, which had bonded Max and me to him. Could he pull that piece back or was it that once it had been released? Was that it?

Honestly, I didn’t think I wanted to find out, and I didn’t have the guts to ask Max about it. He probably wouldn’t know anything anyway.

I rolled to my side and tossed the covers off. I was frustrated now and couldn’t turn my brain off. There were always too many thoughts running on overload. I could never find any peace, especially not in my own head, if I could even claim ownership of it anymore.

Don’t you want to tell Colter what you’ve become? What you can do? How you can protect yourself now and that you don’t need him anymore? How you can feel the power simmering just below the surface if only you would embrace it?

I’ll always need him, I whispered softly, even if it was just to myself.

My eyes suddenly became very heavy, my thoughts trailed off, and finally, I slipped into a dream.

I awoke to my room in Finn’s house where I had fallen asleep. Still out of my covers, I wore my plaid purple and white sleep shorts and my gray t-shirt. My hair had fallen out of its ponytail which I had pulled it into before bed and was now laying in a mass of brown curls over my shoulder. I swung my legs off the side of the bed and touched down onto the soft rug that covered my enormous room. My head swam and throbbed liked a hammer against my skull. I shook it slightly with my palm against my forehead, hoping it would pass. This seemed like such a strange dream—like I was sleepwalking through my normal life, my normal routine. I drug myself out of bed and was just about to head downstairs when I stopped short of the first step, like I was unable to take another.

A sharp shooting pain ricocheted through my head, and I clenched my teeth against the pain. Both of my hands immediately flew to my temples. Everything went black, and I reached for the banister before I collapsed and fell down the stairs. Only, I never made contact with anything, and then there was nothing.

As I peeled my eyes open, it still seemed like I was dreaming, but I wasn’t near the stairs. I was right in front of Colter’s double doors to his room, my left hand on the door knob. The pain was only a throbbing now. In my right hand, was my knife—my Elite knife. I would know the weight anywhere. The long, cold, steel blade was sharp enough to cut through metal. The heavy hilt had been branded with a thick X encased in a diamond made out of blood red rubies, and my white knuckles grasped it for dear life. I brought the knife up to my face and laid the cool metal across my cheek.

‘Open the door Regan’, the thought breezed in and without any resistance, I did.

If this hadn’t been a dream, I would have felt more panicked, but the truth was, this was almost a recurring one where Agro controlled my actions and my motions. He took over my free will, and in the dreams, I wasn’t strong enough or didn’t care enough to fight him like I would’ve had my eyes been wide open.

I took one hesitant step forward with the knife raised and frozen in place. My feet were rooted to the ground.

Even though I was dreaming, I felt the knot of apprehension twist in my stomach, the feeling of unease. I also felt the familiar swirling of anger. How could Colter not realize what was happening to me? Did he not know me at all? I still felt the hurt from how he’d treated me when we first met—as a job—and now I was still just a means to an end. I was a way for him to finally have his redemption. He’d never really cared for me, who I was, and that was why he hadn’t noticed the change in me. He didn’t care.

Just inside the room, asleep in his bed, Colter laid unaware that I was even there, unaware of my dream intentions—intentions for me to kill him. I shook my head vigorously side to side. No, I would never hurt Colter, especially considering how far we had come since this nightmare that was my new life had started. Colter had never been there in my dreams before. I had always opened the door to an empty room, yet there he was, his chest rising and falling ever so slightly as he breathed shallowly in peaceful sleep. His brown hair fell across his forehead. His chest was visible and bare uncovered by his blankets which were now tangled at his feet, and his soft breaths were the only audible sound in the room.

What’s changed?

‘Move into the room’, Agro pushed, and I took another step. I felt the tear roll down my face. I was going to kill Colt in my dream this time. I knew I was. Agro was controlling me completely, and in my dreams, it was much harder to fight him. The soft sobs kept coming, and the anxiety threatened to overtake me, but part of me understood what I had to do. Why did Colter get to be the one who felt nothing? I had no fault in this situation, and I didn’t think he could say the same. I blinked fast. No, that wasn’t what I meant. I knew this wasn’t Colter’s fault…this is Agro, this is Agro, this is Agro, I repeated, not me, not Colter. The sweat and tears now mixed together as they made their way down my face in trails of shame.

"I can’t do this. Don’t make me," I muttered more to myself, knowing Agro wouldn’t care what I wanted as I felt, in my very core, the need to move toward Colter.

I was just about to take another step towards Colter’s sleeping form when I heard a voice from out in the hallway and everything went black. The shooting pain stabbed again, but this time, it was quick and receding.

Regan? It was Finn.

I shook my head to rid my mind of the nightmare I had just been having, only to wake to an even more confusing sight. There I sat, slumped in the middle of Colter’s bedroom. The knife had fallen to the floor next to me, and Colter was only feet away, still sleeping through the night.

What? What is happening?

I almost broke down into hysterics. Hadn’t I been dreaming? That meant only one thing…Agro had finally taken over.

Regan, I heard Finn whisper-shout at me.

I quickly collected the knife and closed my eyes. It was so much harder to summon when my emotions were out of control. I tried to breathe through my growing anxiety and pictured in my mind the small, middle vanity drawer where just inside was a soft, leather sheath I used for my newly acquired Elite knife. I felt the weight of my weapon lift from my palm as I opened my eyes and turned my gaze toward the door. I pushed myself up off the floor and tiptoed to the opening of the door where a sliver of light had entered Colt’s room. With one brief look back at a still sleeping Colter, I exited the room, closing the door behind me and almost running right into Finn’s chest.

Regan, what’s wrong? he asked.

Nothing, nothing, I must have been sleepwalking or something and went into Colt’s room. I haven’t been sleeping well lately, and I guess now I’m…um, actually, I woke up when you called my name so I guess I’ll just head back to my room now and try to get some sleep…in my own bed…alone, I rambled, tugging on my ear.

God if I hadn’t looked suspicious before I did then.

Then just tell Finn what you were really doing, go on now. You’ll feel so relieved…he’ll understand. He probably blames Colter for this cursed life just as you do…tell him! Agro shouted, and I winced at the force of his influence. I swayed on my feet as it hit me full force.

Whoa, are you all right? Do you have a headache? Finn asked as I rubbed my temple, and he steadied me.

No, no, just tired. I better get back to bed, I paused when Finn eyed me with doubt.

I’m fine really, thanks for checking on me.

Ok, I’m just down the hall if you need me. You know you can always talk to me, right? About anything? he asked meaningfully.

I know Finn, God stop being such a worrier, I laughed to hide my fear that maybe he knew, worrying because it sounded off, even to my own ears. I’ll see you in the morning, goodnight.

Night, Ray, he said and turned to head back to his room.

I hurried to mine, pushed through the double doors and locked them behind me. I listened for Finn’s door to shut closed at the end of the hallway before I slumped to the floor and buried my face in my hands crying. I knew this had gone on too long and gone too far—that I was losing control. Agro had told me to walk into Colter’s room, but he hadn’t told me to kill him. I…I had wanted to. The longer I waited to tell the guys, the more pull Agro had on my soul and me. I was losing sight of what was real and what was a dream, what I wanted and what Agro wanted. Where did my soul end and his addition begin? I was close to giving in completely. I felt my resolve crumbling. I didn’t want to fight anymore.

It won’t be long now, Regan…

The next morning, I woke feeling like I’d barely slept a wink. The sun spilled into my room, and I found myself lying in the same position in which I had fallen asleep. I heard a small tapping at my door, followed by Colter stepping into my room with a grin on his face.

Good morning, princess. How was your night? he asked as he walked over to the edge of my bed and placed a kiss full on my lips.

At first I froze, so many emotions flipped through me that I could barely process them. The guilt felt like a punch in the gut, but I still felt the lingering anger and betrayal. Shame swarmed me. Agro was the one pushing me to resent Colt, but I didn’t. He was the only lifeline I had to sanity and peace. I needed to focus on that and push everything else away.

I relished the feel of Colter’s lips against mine. Being that close to him, I sensed the heat from his bare chest and relished in the feel of his muscular arms as I ran my hands up and down them. I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him back with a passion as my hands splayed across his back and shoulders. He moaned into my lips and grasped my hips, his fingers toying with the hem of my tank top.

Mmm, I moaned. Not as good as my morning.

Colter laughed and crawled into bed with me, throwing one arm around my middle and pulling my back into his chest. After just lying there in Colter’s arms, I flipped over so that I was chest to chest with him and snuggled into his neck.

When are you going to start sleeping with me? I know you can’t resist me much longer, he said as a devilish side smirk that dug into the side of his cheek.

Well, well, well Mr. Colter Hayes. While your charms are truly irresistible, and your ruggedly handsome good looks make me weak in the knees, our roommates would not appreciate our late night rendezvous. Did we not both agree that we would respect Finn’s house rules? I said in an overly dramatized, Southern Georgia accent.

I don’t care about Finn’s rules. We’re grown adults, and I think we’re entitled to…each other. Don’t you? Besides, I can tell that you’re suffering from withdrawal, and I can’t just let you suffer the absence of touching my body, he laughed.

Cocky this morning, aren’t we? I asked arching an eyebrow and loving this playful side of him that I had never gotten to see last year.

Wouldn’t you be if you were with someone as amazing as you are, he growled into my ear, nibbling ever so slightly.

I let out an audible breath and pushed away from him crawling out of bed.

But I wasn’t amazing. I was broken. How could he not see that? Conflict tore through me with every passing thought. One side of me was begging to cling to him, and the other wanted me to be as far away as possible.

As much as I’d love to stay in bed with you and have you worship me all morning, we have a party to get ready for, remember?

Finn had decided to throw a back-to-school barbeque for the faculty and students still on campus, and we had gotten roped into helping him set up.

No, must have slipped my mind, he smiled slyly. Give me another hour.

Tempting, but we can’t. Come on, we have grocery shopping duty, I paused before heading into the bathroom to shower and turned around to see his eyes lingering on me, sending butterflies through me.

That was the feeling I needed to hold on to, and I would with all the strength I had.

Oh, and Colt? I’m pretty sure you’re the one who snuck into my room this morning and uh, I paused, pulling my tank top off slowly, can’t resist me. See you downstairs, I smiled and shut the door, but not before I heard Colt.

Such a tease, he said through a chuckle.

He had no idea.

Chapter 2: Colter

The Lacrosse Keeper

Regan and I set off to complete the mundane task of grocery shopping for Finn’s big back to school party. It felt so trivial, so normal in comparison to my used-to-be every day. I can’t say that I missed the missions or collecting lost souls, but I missed what those missions meant, what they stood for and why I worked for them. I followed the Requiem Council’s orders in hopes of earning my redemption. I had hoped that when Agro was dead, my eternal reincarnation would end, and I could finally be tagged, hopefully for Heaven, but plans had changed.

Regan was my first mission where the lost soul was still intact. I wasn’t supposed to collect Regan’s lost soul, only protect her. I couldn’t though, and Agro had almost killed her last winter. Agro knew Regan was the first soul ever to be judged by the Council, the Council he used to be a part of until he’d wrongfully judged me and cursed me to an eternity without love. That is until I found Regan. She was a true lost soul, living a reincarnated life, yet she couldn’t remember her past lives like most lost were supposed to. We found out later it was because she had been claimed by Heaven and Hell, and her memories and past lives were theirs to keep. He knew she was my exception, the only exception to my curse. With Regan being the first lost soul to be judged by the Requiems, Agro needed to kill her to force Heaven and Hell to revoke the Council’s power and revert it to him. If he killed me as an added bonus, he would get a get-out-of-Hell free card.

Bastard.

He’d never gotten the chance though—he’d failed. Max had released me from the cell Agro had been keeping me in. One of Agro’s own Exiles had turned on him and helped me to get to Regan. Sometimes I thought I should have been more surprised that an Exile had rejected his own nature to save a lost soul like Regan. However, for anyone who had ever met her, it was clear that she was the type of person you would risk everything for. Agro had almost killed her when he stabbed her, but when we lost Devon, he gave us something to remember him by. Devon split his soul for Regan and mended her wounds in the same way that Agro had to create his Elite. I knew Devon did this for her, and I knew he had earned his redemption. I think Kaiden was finally starting to accept that, as well. I had a harder time accepting Max.

Max was an Elite, which is like one of Agro’s Exiles, but he possesses some of Agro’s power, like summoning. Max also still had his soul, well what was left of it. We used to think that there were only Exiles, those who turned from the Council after being given another chance to earn their tag in reincarnation, but instead gave it up and sold their souls to Agro. He’d promised a life without judgment, a life where they wouldn’t have to earn a tag or prove anything to some Council, and in exchange, all he would ask for was a lifetime of servitude. This would sound like a good deal to an unknowing lost soul, but Agro had destroyed those souls he bargained for, and without a soul, there was only one lifetime which would now be spent serving him. He used the lost to build his army.

Now, we knew differently thanks to Max. Max wasn’t a lost soul, and he wasn’t living a reincarnated life, not like Regan. Agro had killed him, and just when Max should have died, Agro severed his soul and healed him, making him an Elite and bound to serve him. Exiles had to come to Agro, but Elites, Agro could create, and they could be anyone, tagged or untagged. We thought Agro was too selfish to ever attempt to break his soul for another, but we were wrong, and we had underestimated him. If he could do it to Max, how many others were there? How many more had he created since? Was it really my problem anymore?

The Council