Reluctant Disciplinarian: Advice on Classroom Management from a Softy Who Became (Eventually) a Successful Teacher

By Gary Rubinstein

In this funny and insightful book, Gary Rubinstein relives his own truly disastrous first year of teaching. He begins his teaching career armed only with idealism and romantic visions of teachin--and absolutely no classroom management skills. By his fourth year, however, he is named his school's "Teacher of the Year." As Rubinstein details his transformation from incompetent to successful teacher, he shows what works and what doesn't work when managing a classroom. Just a few of his ideas: Develop a teacher look. The teacher look says, "There's nothing you can do that I haven't already seen, so don't even bother trying." Show students that you are a "real" teacher by doing things they expect of real teachers, at least for a while. Be prepared to utter a decisive answer to anything within two seconds. Decisive answers inspire confidence. Any teacher--experienced or not--will enjoy this honest and humorous look at the real world of teaching and will come away with some very helpful ideas for classroom management. The book is used all over the country in teacher preparation programs. Ben Guest, Program Manager for the Mississippi Teacher Corps describes the book as "That rare classroom management book that is both thoughtful and realistic. It is also a great read, with parts that are laugh-out-loud funny."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sourcebooks
• Release date: Jul 1, 2010
• ISBN: 9781618213082

Gary Rubinstein

Gary Rubinstein teaches high school math by day and is occasionally a comedian by night. In addition to co-authoring this book, he has written two guidebooks for new teachers. He lives in New York City with his wife, Erica, and his daughter, Sarah.

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The Accidental Teacher

Not every motive is a pure motive

The Accidental Teacher

Until I was 21, I never gave much thought to the question, What do you want to be when you grow up? My mother always said I would be a lawyer, so who was I to argue?

As my college had no pre-law program, I majored in the subject I liked most: math. But as graduation neared and law school applications cluttered my dorm room desk, I realized that I didn’t want to study law. I was tired of writing papers and listening to lectures. Rather than learn more about life, I was ready to live. Living, however, required finding a job and deciding on a city in which to live.

My friend Eric, who was having similar reservations about law school, presented me with a flyer for the one-year-old Teach For America program. Teach For America (TFA) recruits recent college graduates — ones who have not majored in education — to teach in rural and inner-city schools throughout the country. Like a domestic Peace Corps, TFA members commit to serving for two years wherever TFA places them. The philosophy is that these non-career teachers will become lifelong supporters of public schools after they go on to pursue other careers.

It will be great, Eric assured me. We’ll both move down to someplace like Mississippi. We’ll live by the school in a cheap apartment, get to know everyone in town, and teach the kids.

For me this was the perfect diversion. I was not a stranger to teaching, having worked as a math tutor since I was a junior in high school and also, for two years during college, as an instructor for an SAT preparation course. I enjoyed teaching and felt I had an aptitude for it. By joining TFA I could do something good for society while simultaneously getting someone else to tell me where to live and where to work.

I felt I had an aptitude for teaching.

Eric never applied. TFA was just a passing whim for him, but he had made it sound so appealing that I decided to apply anyway. Though the application was reminiscent of the law school applications I had just discarded, I considered it a good omen that I found the Why do you want to teach? essay much easier to write than its Why do you want to be a lawyer? counterpart.

That summer, I was off to the TFA summer institute, a seven week boot camp for new teachers. At the institute I met an incredible assortment of people. Talking with some of them, I was often intimidated by their passion. Most people who join an organization like TFA, I learned, do it for very good reasons: They want to give back to the system that provided them with a college education. They want to influence the lives of needy children. They want to make a difference.

Hearing my fellow corps members speak so intensely about working to combat the injustices of the American educational system, I began to worry that my motives were not pure enough. I knew that I was doing it not only to save children, but also to save myself.

Partly because I was too lazy to fill out my law school applications, I took on the most difficult challenge I had ever faced. Partly because I was not ready to take on the responsibility of finding a job and choosing a place to live, I took on an even greater responsibility — the responsibility of educating children.

I took on the most difficult challenge I had ever faced.

History of a Softy

It’s not easy being mean

History of a Softy

Knowing that how well you do something is at least as important as why you choose to do it, I worked hard to learn as much as I could at the demanding TFA institute. Mornings, we did our student teaching. Afternoons, we met with institute faculty, an amazing hand-picked team of mentors from across the country. Evenings, we read up on educational methodology and planned and graded for the following day. I learned as much as a person can learn about teaching in a short two months.

One of the topics I studied was discipline. I had reason to suspect that it was not going to be one of my biggest strengths.

A shaky start. My first experience as a disciplinarian came when I was five years old. I was helping my father housebreak the family dog, a Great Dane named Smokey. Each time Smokey urinated on the living room plants, we would punish him. My father would drag the dog to the yellow puddle and begin by hitting, then screaming at him. After Dad was finished, I would go over to the dog and pat his head, telling Smokey that he was a good boy and that I loved him. As a result of my sympathy, it took years for the dog to stop vandalizing our home.

From my early years, my natural tendency has been to be an overly sympathetic softy.

The first time I commanded a schoolroom was five years later when I was in the fourth grade. My teacher left the room, placing me, the class treasurer, in charge. My instructions were simple: While the class worked on a math assignment, I was to write down the names of anyone who talked.

Five minutes after the teacher left, a boy called me to his desk. How do you do this one? he asked. While I was helping him, two girls on the other side of the room began conversing. I speedily wrote their names on my snitch paper. One of the girls noticed and immediately protested.

If you write our names, you have to write his name too, she said, referring to the boy I was helping.

That’s different, I said. He was asking me for help.

"Well, I was asking her for help, she responded. It’s the same thing."

Several others entered the argument. The consensus was that I should either write all three names or none of the names on the list. I disagreed, explaining that I would leave the two girls’ names and add the names of those who had spoken in the girls’ defense.

The students continued to argue that my name should go on the list as well, since I was also talking. Unable to respond intelligently to such logic, I allowed the class to manipulate me into writing down my own name. When the teacher returned, I sheepishly handed her the list and went back to my seat. The conspicuous appearance of my name on the paper invalidated its credibility, so no one got in trouble.

From my early years, my natural tendency has always been to be an overly sympathetic softy whom students could easily manipulate. And with that trait, I began my student teaching in the summer of 1991.

With Ms. Kowalski around, I didn’t have many discipline problems.

Student teaching with Ms. Kowalski. Having heard how difficult junior high students can be, I had requested a student teaching assignment in a high school. Instead I was sent to an urban junior high in California.

My mentor was a teacher named Ms. Kowalski, a strict disciplinarian. Her strategy was to train her students like dogs. Following her lead, I treated them like dogs too — just like Smokey. When Ms. Kowalski would yell at a student, reducing him to tears, I would soon be patting him on the back and telling him not to worry.

In front of the class, I didn’t have many discipline problems. If a student got out of hand, I would merely say, I’m telling Ms. Kowalski, and he would immediately behave.

At my going-away party, the students gave me a standing ovation when the principal presented me with an honorary diploma. After he left, Ms. Kowalski yelled at one of the girls for cheering too loudly. The girl began to cry, and I, of course, consoled her. Six weeks of training had not hardened my classroom persona. I was still a marshmallow.

I was about to be roasted.

My first teaching job. After student teaching, I got a job at a middle school in a large city. I was screaming at students by the end of the first week.

My requests for silence quickly went from Please be respectful of others to Please be quiet to Be quiet. Later it was Shhh, then Shush, then Shush up, and finally Shut up! In a last desperate effort to gain control, I warned them, I’m telling Ms. Kowalski.

In one month, I went from Please be respectful of others to Shut up!

Once when I was absent, my class tortured the substitute. They set a fire in the garbage can. They threw some books out the window. When I returned the next day, I reprimanded them harshly. Why can’t you be that good for me? I asked.

During my first year, I was hit by students on three different occasions. Rather than expel students for something that was a result of my incompetence, school officials made what is called a disciplinary exchange with another school. One time they traded a chronic truant and a student who had hit me for two graffiti artists and a delinquent to be named later.

A stronger second year. By my second year of teaching, I had learned a few things. I had learned that any time a teacher makes a blanket threat such as, The next student who talks is getting detention, the first one to break the silence will be the quietest student in the class. (It is tempting to say, instead, "The next bad student who talks is getting detention.")

I had learned to implement logical consequences, making punishment more meaningful by relating it to the crime: If the students threw paper, I made them clean the room. If they came late, I made them stay after class. If they talked too much, I made an appointment for them to meet with the mutual funds salesman who camped in my staff lounge.

Additionally, I

Reviews for Reluctant Disciplinarian

[runa_17 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I am a struggling new teacher, and I related to SO MUCH of what this book talked about. Only problem? This book was written by a teacher working with secondary students and I'm working with preschoolers. We are in astonishingly similar situations and I loved the humor in the writing, but much of the advice just wasn't applicable. Some of it certainly was. The ideas of being consistent and firm are ones I will be doing a much better job trying to implement. So I highly recommend this book to middle/high school teachers who are struggling, but if anyone has recs for more relevant preschool discipline and classroom management, those would be highly appreciated.

[amandacharland_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This was an enjoyable read, funny at times, validating at others. It wasn't however, the learning experience I thought it was going to be. If you are looking for a biography of sorts that is sweet and naive, pick this book up. If you are looking for sound, how-to advice of classroom management, this isn't the book for you.

[lesliecaldarera · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This one is good for a few laughs, and, it has a real cute cover, but don't expect much in the way of sound advice. At least half the book tells teachers what not to do, and funny little anecdotes about classroom fiascoes will make you smile and recall your own, but there's little advice as to how to become better at classroom management or engaging students in learning. While Rubinstein does encourage teachers to develop motivating learning activities, he fails to provide enough ideas to make this book a good resource for new or veteran teachers who would be better off reaching for other books on classroom management, such as First Class Teacher, or Lee Canter's books on Assertive Discipline which include many, many ideas for dealing with students who experience difficulty focusing on assignments and respecting adult authority.

[juliedillard · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

When I saw the title Reluctant Disciplinarian: Advice on classroom management from a softy who became (eventually) a successful teacher, I had to smile. I've been a teacher going on 20 years now--and I would definitely consider myself a softy. The process of "becoming" a teacher has been a challenge, primarily because of the discipline aspect. While Rubinstein writes with a conversational, honest tone that is enjoyable to read, I'm not sure the suggestions would have made me a better, more confident teacher. Ideas like "real teachers use textbooks" and the need for adopting a "teacher persona" made me raise an eyebrow (or two). Becoming a confident, effective teacher has been about authenticity and flexibility to me. I'd suggest this book as one for some laughs about the foibles we make as we learn to teach, but less so as a guidebook.

[jess77531 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Thi book is fantastic for anyone new to teaching. I will be graduating next year with my teaching certification and I have a feeling this book is going to come in handy. I read the whole book in one sitting and loved every page of it. The author is hilarious and it makes me feel like it's ok to screw up because, most likely, everyone else screwed up in the beginning also. The book doesn't go in depth into major discipline issues and how to combat them, but it sheds light on many topics that I haven't even thought about, nor have my education classes taught anything about. The book explains real situations and ways to deal with them in a funny and entertaining way. Love it!

[justella_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I really enjoyed reading this book. Just basic common sense observations that most teachers could have written about, and that is what I enjoyed about it-the fact that I could relate to just about all of his stories. I especially liked the advice from real teachers, with the exception of the teacher who said their check just sat in their box because they sometimes forgot that what they were doing was a job.I really don't know any teacher who does not need to rush to get that money in the bank. This is my 35th year and I can not imagine doing anything else.

[lms8esmith · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The Reluctant Disciplinarian was good. I selected this one in hopes that I would be able to use it at my school with those who have classroom management issues. As I read through the book, I was able to see the beginning teacher I thought I was 15 years ago and how greatly misguided I was for actually being the authority in the classroom. Today, I have a firm grasp on classroom management and this book helped my reflect on my experiences to see how far I have come in my career. New teachers or struggling educators will benefit from reading this selection.

[amieg_7 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Great book, fun to read. I loved the stories. Some of the ideas are just common sense, but there are some good ideas in there as well! Overall, a good resource.

[readingthruthenight · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I've been teaching for a handful of years but am always looking for new ideas for my classroom, including classroom management. Reluctant Disciplinarian is definitely a book I'd recommend for a new beginning teacher rather than a seasoned one such as myself. Gary Rubinstein does a fine job talking about the more practical areas of teaching, the ones that most overlook or have no idea how to discuss. But the ideas are novice. They are starting points. It's also a quick read which makes it easy to recommend to a new teacher since they're already pretty overwhelmed.

[shootingstar2428 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

As a fourth-year teacher, I was hoping to get some advice/strategies about how to better handle some of my rowdier classes. Although the book was easy to read, and I found myself nodding "yes" many times, I didn't feel I actually learned anything from it that I hadn't learned already through my own experiences. I think that perhaps the best audience for this book would be someone going into a classroom for the first time (student teacher, first-year teacher, substitute teacher) who hadn't learned these lessons already. However, all of his advice should be taken with a grain of salt: What worked for him may not work for another teacher. In fact, I didn't agree with many of his ideas. Nevertheless, it's worth a read and I think it may benefit someone earlier in his/her teaching career.

[s_webb · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

As a fourth-year teacher, I was hoping to get some advice/strategies about how to better handle some of my rowdier classes. Although the book was easy to read, and I found myself nodding "yes" many times, I didn't feel I actually learned anything from it that I hadn't learned already through my own experiences. I think that perhaps the best audience for this book would be someone going into a classroom for the first time (student teacher, first-year teacher, substitute teacher) who hadn't learned these lessons already. However, all of his advice should be taken with a grain of salt: What worked for him may not work for another teacher. In fact, I didn't agree with many of his ideas. Nevertheless, it's worth a read and I think it may benefit someone earlier in his/her teaching career.

[4sarad_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The beginning of this book was fairly entertaining and was a quick read. The author relates several horror stories of his first year as a teacher, and it's easy to commiserate with him and (if you're also an educator) remember your own humble beginnings. I really didn't care for his advice, however. He talks about how he doesn't like multiple choice tests but recommends that everyone give them at least in the first semester because otherwise the students might not think you're a "real" teacher. What?? He also says he hates his textbook but would use it often so that, once again, the students would think of him as a "real" teacher. I think maybe he should concentrate on teaching to the best of his abilities a little more and fitting in with the stereotype of teachers a little less.

[aurora2615 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This is a funny, down-to-earth, entirely realistic, and helpful book about what works in classroom management, what doesn't, and why. Although I teach in an elementary school and the book is more geared toward middle and high school teachers, I gained some very useful advice, and I had a lot of fun reading this! For me, Rubinstein's most important tips are: don't mince words, speak with decisiveness and confidence, make an effort to like each of your students, and try out teacher personas until you find one that fits your personality. Of course, analyzing your lesson plans for strengths and weaknesses is also very important, as is perfecting the perfect "teacher look." I really loved this book and will probably use it as a quick reference (and self-esteem booster!) for quite awhile.

[terk71 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

A second edition to a decade-old work, this book is a dichotomy presenting Gary Rubinstein’s transformation from a teaching tyro into an effective educator.The earlier material drips of his hand-wringing accounts of experimentation in the bifurcated business of good teacher or real teacher. Although he attempts to cloak his examples in humor, the tenor of the incidents boarder on the criminal. If yelling and desk slamming were actual incidences, it is a wonder that Rubenstein wasn’t discharged by the school or sued by the parents.More personal memoir than policy manual, the presentation offers insights into his trial-and-error teaching maneuvers. Despite numerous lists for does and don’ts, this early effort probably died beneath a pathetic mantra: “Don’t try to apply my advice about advice to my advice.”Rubenstein’s additional material reflects the sage experience burnished through an intervening career in another field. He found his mojo after years in a dull, unfulfilling occupation in the computer field. Returning to the education field, he has been tempered in his skills to realize effective teaching is not accomplished through lists, rules, and books but rather in solid preparation, consistent individual respect, and openness in flexibility for a teaching moment.My own classroom experience is on a collegiate level; but I admire those with the talent, patience, and willingness to discipline, excite, and challenge young minds before I face them. I can appreciate Rubenstein’s early struggles toward identity, although I can’t condone his actions. Nevertheless, I’m heartened he was able to discover synergy between real teacher and human educator.I wouldn’t recommend this book to be on any teacher college’s required reading list, but it does serve for those initiates who might find themselves floundering in their new classrooms. They won’t need to cry on another shoulder; Rubenstein has penned their miseries, yet offers survival hope. Experientia docet.