The Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy Guide to Revenge

By Josephine Heltemes

This sweet story explores the changing role of friendships during adolescence. When Phoebe Hammond, a fifth grade student, sprains her ankle in a tumble over Ralph Melkie's backpack, she blames him for ruining summer vacation. Later, Phoebe suspects her friend, Ralph, is the culprit who ransacked her clubhouse. Is it time to replace Ralph with a new friend? After all, kids outgrow toys, shoes and t-shirts; why not friends? Tag along with Phoebe on her quest for revenge to its heart-warming conclusion. It's sure to put a smile on your face and maybe even a tear in your eye.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Josephine Heltemes
• Release date: Jan 5, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311456731

Josephine Heltemes

Josephine Heltemes is the pen name used by Mary Trost on her series of children's books. Mary's inspiration for her stories comes from many years spent working with elementary students and her own rambunctious childhood as a middle-child in a family of eight children. She likens her method of story writing to home cooking: you open your mind, throw in a couple of ideas, put the concoction on the back-burner and wait for a story to form. Of course, disasters fit only for the trash are inevitable, but occasionally you get a tale worthy of sharing with friends. Mary lives in Vancouver, Washington. When she's not at the computer writing, she enjoys gardening, painting, bird watching and travel.

Book preview

THE EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY

GUIDE TO REVENGE

JOSEPHINE HELTEMES

SMASHWORDS EDITION

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Copyright 2014-Josephine Heltemes

Cover illustration-Mary Trost

All rights reserved

Smashwords Edition

License Notes

This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment. It remains the copyrighted property of the author and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy at their favorite authorized e-book retailer. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

-"Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths

To which girls will sink to get revenge."-

-J.K. Rawlings-

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter 1-A Life in Ruins

Chapter 2-No Leg to Stand on

Chapter 3-Putting Your Best Foot Forward

Chapter 4-Making Lemonade

Chapter 5-Too Much Lemonade

Chapter 6-A House of Refuge

Chapter 7-Dog-Gone-It

Chapter 8-In the Dog House

Chapter 9-Planning a Trap

Chapter 10-Nuts and Bolts

Chapter 11-Sizing up the Prey

Chapter 12-Under Cover Work

Chapter 13-A Hairy Situation

Chapter 14-Chewing on the Facts

Chapter 15-The High Cost of Revenge

Chapter 16-How Things Stack Up

Chapter 17-Baiting the Trap

Chapter 18-Dog-Paddling in the Deep End

Chapter 19-Puppy Love

Chapter 20-Saving Face

Chapter 21-Facing the Truth

Chapter 22-Facing the Consequences

Chapter 23-Face to Face

About the Author

Prologue

Dear Diary,

Everyone at school was talking about Karen's End-Of-The-Year Birthday Bash and Pool Party (KEOYBBPP). She had three cakes and real pop machines to dispense soda. Lots of people, who didn't want to, got thrown into the pool. Kyle T. made a costume out of two paper cups and a green table cloth and danced the hula. People laughed so hard they almost threw up. Sue H. said it was the best KEOYBBPP ever.

Karen said she had wanted to invite me, but her mother limited the guest list to thirty. I probably won't have gone anyway after she said my shoe box Mayflower was so lame that the pilgrims would rather stay and be persecuted than sail across the ocean in it.

I can't wait to go to camp! We get to sleep in real tents! I know being out in the open means there is a possibility of being eaten by some wild creature. Inez says as long as both of us are eaten, she won't mind, but if just one of us were gobbled up it would be the pits. We've decided to wear our tie-dyed t-shirts the whole time no matter how grungy they get. (I hope Mom never reads this.)

I thought it would be weird having Dad home more often, but it's turning out okay. He let me tag along to the home improvement store. I found a cool deep purple to paint my bedroom. I think it would be awesome using a paint roller. Of course, Mom said we couldn't afford it right now. I hate that word.

You know what tomorrow is, so you won't be surprise when I tell you I won't be visiting you for a while. As you know from other years, it's my rule to never ever even look at a pencil or piece of paper for the entire summer.

This is going to be the coolest summer ever! Nate will be gone for two weeks. That means Tanner will be spending all his time playing Nate's video games. Yes! I'll be free from the world's numeral uno pest.

Best of all, Inez and I plan to earn tons of money selling lemonade. We might even open a dog washing service if her baby brother's plastic pool doesn't have a hole in it. We're going to use the money to get our ears pierced and buy real diamond earrings just like the ones Karen got for her birthday. Best of best of all- NO SCHOOL!!!

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Chapter 1

A Life in Ruins

Phoebe propped her blue-bandage wrapped ankle on the bed pillow. Ouch! It hurts, she whimpered. A tear slid over the freckles that framed her nose. She had cried many tears since her tumble down the school bus steps. Casting a forlorn glance toward her mother, she whined, Will it ever stop aching?

You poor thing, Mrs. Hammond cooed, sympathetically. Do you think more ice will help? Not waiting for a response, Phoebe’s mom gently placed an ice pack over the swollen purple flesh.

Although the x-rays had confirmed nothing was broken, the injury was what the emergency room attendant labeled a serious sprain. The doctor kindly offered treatment advice and something for the pain, but he failed to prescribe a way to console a child who would begin the first day of summer vacation in bed.

Children heal quickly. You’ll be back on both feet in a couple of weeks, her mother offered with an encouraging smile.

A couple of weeks! Phoebe wailed. I’ll miss camp. This fact was even more painful than her throbbing ankle. Every summer, Phoebe and her friend, Inez, spent two weeks together at camp Wa-Ta-Fun-Wun. Now, Inez would be bunking with a different wat-ta-pal on the sandy shores of Lake Wa-Ta-Bu-Ti, while Phoebe nursed a sprained ankle. It’s not fair! I already had to give up tennis lessons.

The smiled slipped