I Choke

By Warwick Stubbs

I feel strength when I’m near her, a great comforting glow that leaves me thinking how great life could be if only I could reach out and touch her. ... But I can’t. ... I feel the glow leave my body, strength dissipating and I start choking on the emptiness again.

* * *

Kristian needs this new job, he needs the cash, but he's just not sure to what end this job will lead him and whether or not he can deal with his co-workers. And to pile on top of that comes uncontrollable feelings for his manager. Will he come to terms with what the modern world demands of his time, or will his depression get the better of him and force him into a blinding corner of pain and frustration?

* * *

Fingers clasp around a throat, strengthening their grip – slow but firm. There is horror in the eyes – what is happening? The grip tightens and veins start to bulge, eyes widen but vocals remain paralysed in a state of silence as air is cut off from the windpipes. There comes a wheezing sound from within, eyes show a tint of red, veins at the temple stress under the pressure, nostrils flair as the grip crushes the Adam’s apple. The look of horror at its peak... Finally the eyes burst and blood splatters his face. He is panting.

...The thought of death excites him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Warwick Stubbs
• Release date: Feb 8, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310529474

Warwick Stubbs

Hailing from Gisborne, New Zealand, Warwick Stubbs has spent most of his adult life experiencing an array of different jobs starting in Auckland, and ending up in Invercargill. Time down south allowed him to pursue a Bachelor Degree in Contemporary Music (Composition Major) while leading a heavy progressive rock band in between. After leaving study he continued his sampling of part-time jobs which would come to inspire a number of scenes for his first novel 'I am the Local Atheist'. Stubbs has written stories since a young age, poetry on occasion, but says the majority of his literary efforts during his late teens and 20s was invested in writing song lyrics, of which he has produced over 250. "Song lyrics, like poetry, provide a platform to create pictures in short form, but there needs to be a great deal more focus on what is being conveyed and how that fits into the canvas of music that sits behind it." A collection of some of these lyrics has been projected for the near future.

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I Choke

By Warwick Stubbs

Copyright © 2014 by Warwick Stubbs

Smashwords Edition.

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"Drifting body, soul in search of…"

Part One

All I wanted to do was hold her; to feel the curves of her body flow into mine. Have her knowing that comfort could be found in my arms. Or simply to feel something…

Something other than hate.

So beautiful she looked and full of grace as she stood above me, stacking spare stock on the top shelf. Blonde hair curling down to the nape of her neck, the back: statuesque and carved out slightly to hips that rested on thighs, giving the perfect suggestion of feminine strength.

To reach out and touch those thighs and have her crumble at my touch, to feel her sinking into my arms and giving in to

Whatever.

I handed her a small pile of books and she smiled at me. I nearly crumbled.

I want you, I say. But she doesn’t hear because I’m too scared to open my mouth and voice the words – to give meaning to what I feel.

I feel weak.

Once I was strong (I think), but now I face a wall ten years thick.

And the wall is untouchable.

* * *

Oh no, Susan said with a roll of her eyes. Kristian’s working today.

From beside her Jane groaned. So the creep comes back.

They shared the joke with a giggle as Kristian walked up to the counter, eyes darting here and there before his gaze rested firmly on the floor. Hi.

Susan backed off, obviously inconspicuously. Jane turned a straight-faced glare at her that pleaded desperately, don’t go! Don’t leave me alone with him, I’ll do anything if you stay, and finally, I’ll get you back for this! But Susan was gone, behind shelves tidying.

Jane tried to ignore his presence. Perhaps he would eventually go away, get bored and look for something else to do. Unlikely, considering the message that was drummed into every new staff member’s head, as well as those who forgot: Always have two people at the counter. The boss’s irritating voice pounded the message into everybody’s head whether they wanted it or not.

So here she was, stuck with a dark and greasy, heavy breathing freak, who seemed to be inching closer