Brain Files

By Linda Wickens

'Brain Files' is a romance story which starts off as Bridget, the main character, is relaxing by a Florida lake having a nightly glass of wine. As the sunset starts touching her skin, she starts reminiscing in to her own Brain Files of former love interests, bringing her hauntingly into a regression that is being invaded telepathically by an unknown presence; that she realizes has tormented her physically and mentally since she was a child. Her entire life with a very strict religious upbringing brought naiveté to her teenage years. The evil existence fed into her mind. Subconsciously he created love poems to saturate her mind into triggering her wanting him, but who is he? This scares, yet excites Bridget. She loses her grip on reality and how important she is in her own mind and that of others who love her.
Her best friends, Lynn and Ruth, call in a psychologist that suddenly appears on the hospital staff. With Bridget unknowingly as the only patient is being coerced to feed the unknown entity in a sacrilegious insatiable manner. The therapist couch becomes its tabernacle.
Bridget’s brain files become her therapy sessions starting with her first puppy love, ending with her last love that has become her divorced husband. Trials and tribulations of marriage, infidelity, infertility and adoption all bring lessons to her heart and mind. She tries to separate issues to mold her life into something she can salvage into feeling a complete life. When her friends give her a puppy abandoned to a neighborhood veterinarian and philanthropist, Dr. Liam Post, her life changes for the better where they try together to fight the evil presence.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Linda Wickens
• Release date: Jul 16, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465721143

Linda Wickens

Linda is a married middle-age homemaker with one son. Now retired in Florida she picked up a pen one afternoon with an insatiable urge to write, and hasn't put it down since. "Brain Files" has been her first attempt at writing fiction. Having lived in several different states with her husband's job transfers, she's collected many friends with stories. Always taking a job within an elementary school system as a kindergarten teaching assistant and later special education assistant kept her busy meeting new people, and hearing new tales that she's placed in her own brain files. Politically active, she won The Chairman's award from the Vienna (VA) Regional Chamber of Commerce for her leadership bringing an Ethics program into the high school. This program she was enthralled to do and mold as a seminar for the senior class to experience a mock trial with real courtroom judge, and area business leaders there to listen, and let the teens speak constructively of their feelings on what they were understanding. Didn't cost the taxpayers any money! She negotiated with area businesses to contributing their expertise and funding for the three staged daylong event. She has been a member of the National League of Families - Missing In Action (Vietnam) since 1967, when her brother became Missing In Action. Her other simple claim to fame has been as former Alumni Board of Directors member as well as Alumni Correspondent for her Class of 1969 at the incredible Pinkerton Academy. "The Hidden Poet" was her 2nd attempt at writing a suspense novel and was completed the following year. Her third E novel, "The Manufactured President" will be available soon.

Book preview

BRAIN FILES

By

Linda Page Wickens

Smashwords Edition

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Published By:

Linda Page Wickens on Smashwords

Copyright © 2011 by Linda Page Wickens

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Chapter One

The sunset was a blanketed cluster of vivid hues once held against a firewall from hardened past dreams from her youth. These dreams were systematically downloaded into her memories brain files, as she referred to them for future moments to ponder, learn from, and remember…for eternity. This amazing woman’s name was Bridget and her story will unfold.

Often by choosing to close her eyes, she could seek within her personal senses to once again magically reconnect fond memories of sultry romantic interludes. As a summer shower of mist settles on the skin awakening senses of calming liquid to soothe and cool, these dreams would reciprocate by stimulating her emotions within her private realm.

This action magically blossomed like a serenade bringing forth a provocative spirit from her youth that she could act out in her mind. This magic instant replay clicked off her mind sailing her blissfully away. Most late afternoons she’d feel the sultry sun on her skin when she’d dig deep into those private files. Bridget showed a vivid imagination with a seductive sense of humor. To her this effortless absorption of sexual feelings was osmotic and pure on her once young soul and body. Lately, when she’d dig into those files she felt like someone was inside her brain watching her in the moment. Thinking it was only her conscious; she’d laugh it off. Perhaps she shouldn’t be accessing these files leaving a breach to her mind and soul.

Feeling this mysterious presence dwell inside her, she puts down a plate of fruit she had just brought out as a snack. She tenderly fingered the shape of a chilled glass of wine that is cupped in her hands. In the late afternoon sky, Bridget would gently hold her wine glass up to the topaz solar sphere. This splendid visual maze of color in front of her eyes is like the shimmer of jewelry, perhaps her November birthstone.

Moving the crystal glass she touches her cheek to cool her skin and mouth. Noting a few traces of wine rolling down the glass, her tongue slowly and methodically takes in the precious liquid. As she slightly opens her mouth to partake another taste of the grape moment, she again feels her lips taking in the sweet juice on her tongue while she rolls it in her mouth, and slips into mysterious deep thought of impending darkness. Feeling this taunting her subconscious has an alluring sexual appeal. In her younger years she could bring up a virginal memory making her feel serene and safe. Something has changed within her and her state of mind.

The Florida saw grass has been swaying against her upper right thigh while the balmy breezes are traveling up to her neck almost asking permission to touch her – like a lover’s first touch being so gentle. Feeling this incredible moment inside her mind, no need to ask – just take her.

Lying on her chaise down by the lake, a favorite place since taking an early retirement to dream especially during sunsets, she relaxes into submission. The palm trees are also fanning the body in a seductive back and forth dance orchestrated by an odd phenomenon in her mind. Surrounded by all this magnetism it draws her into wanting this energy to be real, with someone special touching her. It reminds this woman of the intense strong fantasy that she thought would be her perfect life filled with never ending passion. Listening to the reaction coming from inside her body, she notes the excitement of feeling these flirting touches going back and forth in a tease.

Not understanding if it could be an early ‘hot flash or the sulfites in the wine,’ Bridget was feeling intense warmth that transcended into a part of her, remembering the key to instantly open the senses. With closed eyes, feeling a revealing passion mounting within, her memories visualize a man secretly behind with his arms about to come around her waist. The splendid moment comes ‘s l o w l y’ drawing him close, then closer, feeling his body heat against her neck. His breath glances the skin seconds before his lips plant a cool tantalizing kiss to the nape on her neck, becoming a brilliant awareness deep within her. Digging deeper in her thoughts, she feels a sensuous tingle. This key has turned something deep within her psyche. Shall we call it an open invitation for more? She indeed feels compelled to go deeper into those files and reveal a tempest moment.

In another part of her brain she’s now in a questioning tone. For some reason she felt a chill when the man was coming close behind her, and a weakened compliance of emotions. His kiss measured deeply into her mind.

Dreaming deeper, Bridget is now feeling almost breathless; I am seconds away from an arousing explosion… My French wine is right here. Wish I had a man with a tasty French tongue, at this moment. Bridget moans deeply in this thought.

Closing her eyes, her body suddenly answers the flirting interludes and starts to quake in orgasmic motion. It has totally taken over her extreme person. With toes curling in, the warmth is traveling up inside, breasts swelling with excitement, so wanting to be touched. Ideally, she wanted to throw off her clothes and come into the sweet moment. She exhales a sweet sigh and fingers the back of her bare shoulders, almost expecting this man to actually be there. Sitting up and taking hold of her senses, she realized that this was a good memory and remembered the man who kissed her neck.

Looking at some gecko’s playing in the sun on an azalea bush, she says in a sultry voice, Oh yes, has to be Matthew, he was quite a big flirt, but never got the nerve to actually ask me out on a date. She recollected being a teenager dating someone else and he didn’t want to interfere. Pity, he was such a romantic, I wish we had gone further -- but, she chuckled, I just did in my dream.

With her hands on her hips now standing with her back to the lake, she wonders, ‘whom I was thinking of?’ For some odd reason, I didn’t see his face in my mind. It has to have been Matthew… I don’t remember responding to anyone in a manner like that."

Swirling cooler breezes suddenly came up and everything moved around on the deck. Within that breeze she smelled the faint odor of burning embers. Looking around she detected nothing amiss. Feeling an odd chill going up her spine, she suddenly pictured a glimpse of a man’s face she didn’t appear to know this time. Falling back on her chaise, she took in a cleansing second breath; the mystery moment is over, and she is back in reality. No more wind or smoke, and no mystery face.

Reality? Oh no, she looks around and wonders with her luck, if there could possibly be a fisherman nearby this part of the lake; that had become her audience.

Since living there, she often heard odd snaps in the woods or splashes near the lake, but attributed it to alligators going into the water. Thankfully, there were just a few sandpipers and egrets dancing along the water's edge not realizing alligators were peering behind grass and tree debris. Was it just the lake wildlife, or had someone been staring at her, in some sexual fantasy, somewhere lurking behind the bushes? She looked down on the deck, and she gasped! Muddy footprints were going up the stairs from the lake onto her deck where she was just lying.

Thinking out loud, Stop, they’re probably my own prints from the morning fog’s mist when I came out with my coffee, and realized it was too cool and foggy to sit here. Yes, that’s it … has to be from earlier today, I just hadn’t noticed from before.

She looks down on the table next to her chaise, and sees that a bite has been taken out of the sliced fruit she had brought out.

Thinking again to herself, Oh Bridget Ann, stop your imagination, foolish girl. What do think your mystery lover is real and came to take a bite out of the fruit after he ravaged you in your dream? Yes, you wish, don’t you! I had to have taken a bite out of the fruit when I was drinking my wine which is probably warm now. Bridget shakes her head over those thoughts.

A smile of contentment comes over her face that there she’s been talking and arguing with herself over a silly dream and imagination to match. It’s one of those distant, where are you smiles, and only she (and the lake wildlife!) understands why it’s there. You have seen it; when people are ‘staring out to sea’ and you ask, Where are you? Or A penny for your thoughts. Yet, looking out over the water, she felt like she was still being watched by someone, and could not shake the ghost like somber face she saw in her dream that made her reaction so intense. Whatever or whomever it was, he brought out a new desired intensity she never had felt with a lover. Her hands reached out to again touch her wine glass. It’s still ice cold with no condensation and no wine.

Totally impossible, I had better get a hold of myself, this scientifically cannot be happening. I must have lain in the sun too long. Though I feel a deep disheartening chill inside my soul.

Lately, ominous darkened clouds were weighing down her brain files, taking control over a subconscious being that she felt growing inside her. Desire to set files sweet and soft unknowingly were making way to a fulcrum that were slowly invading a dispersion of slow growing cells of a different type of sexual invasion.

As an adult she processed a rare quality that was like fine art. This art was of soft-spoken innocent, elegant features, mannerisms and character. Her hazel eyes changed with the colors around her or when her laughter captured her soul and brightened the room. This woman, Bridget, was different to those that knew her. All loved her laugh and to make her laugh, yet held an aura that stated quietly she was in the room. Quiet yes, and her mind was always speaking to her taking notes. If you were her friend, she knew everything about you and celebrated your friendship and love.

Men would draw close and often not totally approach her at first; they just wanted to gaze upon her as a rare piece of art. Several had stated she knew within her social circle that they never dared asked her on a date, as they didn’t feel worthy. If she had known that, her soft-spoken nature would have given a great belly laugh, threw her arms around him, and sealed the offer. What a pity, she often said she didn’t feel pretty. As a child, she just thought of herself as a plain girl, not special at all. No one had ever told her differently.

Little did she know that her friends wanted to be like her. She was tall, smart, and radiant, with a smile that warmed your heart. Everyone felt safe and respected around her. No china doll though, she could tell the greatest stories, had the hardiest laugh; sit around and tell off-color jokes – cute but not disgusting - all still looking like an angel in jeans or a feminine dress. Her male friends said they referred to her as one of the guys, yet all had crushes wanting to protect their definition of a perfect chaste woman. Perhaps she was too good. There are always people resentful of others that want to bully and chastise. It’s sad - but true in most situations.

Chapter Two

Hey there, girlfriend, I got an earlier flight than expected… Are you awake? Bridget Ann O’Flynn Glennan, wake up darling!

Bridget abruptly comes out of her trance and realizes her best friend Lynn Louise Hampton Douglas had arrived for their usual fall in Florida - mutual birthday - two-week soiree.

Oh my goodness… Ah, apparently I had dozed off. When did you get here? she asks with a concerned tone.

I almost jumped off my chaise, you kind of scared me, don’t know why! Wow, I was deep in thought…

Lynn, holding her luggage, mass of carry-on and heavy-laden pocketbook, lowers the ensemble to the ground with a thud.

Silly goose, I just arrived this second, but it looked like you were in deep thought or sleeping, almost didn’t want to bring you out of it. You looked so pleasantly in a zone. Must be you started with the wine already, huh? I’m surprised you didn’t hear the taxi. Well, as soon as I put this stuff away, while I’m unpacking I can catch up to you. Are you okay? Kind of have a flush to your face, too much sun today?

Bridget with a big secret smile on her face said with a laugh, Goodness, so many questions all in one breath. Oh yes it’s after five o’clock somewhere in the world, someone needed to open the wine. Wanted to make sure it was a good year to drink!

She opened her arms giving Lynn a big welcome kiss and warmest sincere hug noticing her body was chilled to the touch.

Wow, the taxi driver must have had the air conditioning on in the cab full blast, you’re cold to the touch!

Huh? Oh yes, he did, but it is humid outside. I’m fine, felt refreshing. Think I’m starting to get flashes now and then, so it felt good.

Really? Well, let’s try a new Florida wine I just bought.

Oh yeah Bridget, as if you were ever a wine connoisseur! Lynn states. Isn’t it you that always says, ‘I’m not prejudice, red or white, wine is wine and I’ll enjoy it to the fullest -- haven’t met a wine I didn’t like?

Got me, laughs Bridget, Mrs. Douglas, you know me so well. Let’s just put your stuff down, and come join me for our first nightly salute to sunsets.

Happily, Lynn answers.

It had been a humid day and the evening was bringing a sensuous cooler breeze tempting the skin cells perhaps putting them in a mentally playful frisky mood of thought. The rays of the sunset streamed between their fingertips as they were looking into late afternoon reflections on the water. The years had changed them, but they hadn’t really noticed; good friends don’t bring up flaws that they’re getting older.

Lynn Louise Hampton Douglas was Bridget’s best friend from childhood. They’re now Peri-Menopausal Mommas luckily retired young to enjoy. This is their two weeks away from the world they’ve taken together to just hang out and talk the days away into the wee hours, with whatever subjects they choose, with no one around to interrupt. No schedules, no make-up, no kids or spouses; just two friends needing their time together. It’s quiet time to let their hair hang down. The kids have all grown, time for ‘Mom Style Rest and Recreation.’ Treating them in November when the weather’s cooler and usually less humid in Florida. Plus, it happens to be both their same day birthday.

No need to send flowers or gifts to each other for birthdays or Christmas, this is the gift they give to each other since their kids grew up and moved away. They still send each other silly - risqué cards. Bridget admitted to being a card-a-holic. Loved to send cards to say hello or to share a laugh, even a poem or two on occasion to express the moment at hand. Together time and laughter equaled a lovely lifetime gift of friendship.

They used to celebrate at a condo Bridget had rented and later bought down on the Florida Keys. When her place suddenly and mysteriously burned down, Bridget retired to the Gulf coast of Florida, where she set up camp at the new house before the hectic holidays. Bridget figured it the safest place to be for their soiree. Too many mystical unexplained things happened in that townhouse-condo they rented. Thinking back, it seemed to be where her brain files started going astray and life started changing - especially after the fire.

A benediction of prayers that day as she walked away from the burning ashes. How the fire started was still under investigation. The blaze so intense it burned everything into a black ash. Nothing left to surrender from the fire. The fire marshal when sifting thru the ashes only found one item sort of something recognizable. Looked like melted metal, a large one-inch teardrop shaped item. They never knew what caused the fire, so he threw it to Bridget figuring it was a collection of tools or her coins in a jar that formed into this odd shaped souvenir. He also thought it strange there wasn’t anything even partially left to have, an exceptionally intense fire. It was just a rented townhouse at first, until she bought it not far from the beach and Duval Street, easily walked to the center for colorful shopping and great margarita’s. Bridget had just moved there the month before as a winter temporary home until Owen could arrive from selling their home; or that’s what they told everyone. They were thankful she was living with only a few items at the time, so nothing of great sentimental value was really lost. From there she moved to Florida’s west coast where she and Lynn were meeting today for the two-week soiree.

Bridget and Lynn joined arms and commented on each other’s new hair-do, or outfit as they walked down to the deck overlooking the water. There they are, the two childhood buddies getting right into where they left off in conversations of their children, and life in general all before the fire.

As Bridget poured her best friend a glass of chilled wine, Lynn said, We must toast to your new abode, may there be many lovely wine filled romantic sunsets and laughter!

Cheers! as they both clinked their glasses.

My turn, chimes Bridget.

Salute! To our grown babies! They grew up perfectly wonderful; God bless them all!

Bridget couldn’t have children, but was able to adopt a beautiful baby boy who she lived for. Lynn knew of Bridget’s years of tribulations. It was always difficult for Lynn to tell Bridget when she was expecting.

She’d smile back and say, Don’t worry, my time will come!

They excelled in baby clothes and furniture shopping. That’s what best friends do for each other. Seems like a million years ago now, they both agreed. Lynn had three children, a girl and two boys. Over the years, both lived away from each other and were transferred with their husband’s jobs, but always had time for each other on the phone, letters or mutual vacation spots. Now that the Internet was in their homes, they’d email pictures, jokes and feelings on world events.

They were best of friends sharing the same birthday. Even born in the same hospital hours apart, Lynn first. Their parents, the O’Flynn’s, and the Hampton’s would laugh saying they were brought up practically as long-lost twins separated at birth. Similar birthmarks on opposite sides of the back of their necks, they both had. Bridget’s was on her right side, a dark brown circle, oddly enough she’s right handed. Lynn’s was on the left side, a deep red circle and she is indeed left-handed. They even lived across the street from each other while growing up. Lynn was an only child.

Heaven meant these two to be friends – inseparable little ladies, the nuns at Saint Peter the Apostle School would say.

They spent hours playing dolls, combing each other’s long blonde hair, (though Lynn’s had a tinge of strawberry-blonde), sharing clothes or spying on the neighborhood boys, but, why? They hadn’t a clue – at that age, didn’t all boys have cooties?

They even shared their list of sins in parochial school. While lining up for confession on Saturday nights, they’d ask each other, What are you confessing? Oh that’s good, I’ll use that too. Bridget admitted that she really hadn’t done anything, so had to make stuff up since the nuns made them all go to confession – and made sure they went in, too! They shared everything as good friends do. Looking down at today’s newspaper they fingered through and found their horoscope. They were true Scorpions; passionate and unconditional true friends for life.

I have news, Lynn said as she sat up and grabbed Bridget’s hand.

The other hand grasped her glass of wine and said, To the future grandmother – Me!

Beaming, Bridget asked, Is your daughter, Eve, pregnant?

Yes! shouts Lynn with pride and thanksgiving.

Bridget takes Lynn’s hand and looks up to the sky.

To Eve, your beautiful daughter. God, please hear our prayer that Eve has a safe and easy pregnancy, and an equally beautiful and healthy child to love, and cherish in their lives.

With their foreheads together, they both said, Amen.

Wow, your first grandchild, I am so happy for you and Dale. You are going to be a grandmother! How does Dale feel about being a grampa?

Mr. Douglas is so happy, he tells everyone.

They screamed, laughed, hugged and cried, a very special moment; a new life was coming into the world soon. It was wonderful news to end a perfect day.

It’s been a long day and Bridget shuts off her bedroom light. Just as her head relaxes on her pillow, she heard an odd cry or howl outside. A bit nervous something wild could be outside, there are panthers that have been seen. Knowing everything is locked up and secure, she settles down nervously under her sheets not wanting to get up and peer outside.

Days went on and they shared stories, articles they’d kept to seriously discuss or laugh over when they were to get together. Feeling like children again they enjoyed bike rides into town, even manicures-pedicures, and of course the nightly walk down to the deck to watch the sunset with their wine.

They’d sit back at the end of the evening and say, We can solve anything just from simple, plain talk; time for each other to quietly listen, respond, and respect each other's point of view.

The sun was going down as they were finishing their wine.

Looking at each other, both said, Last sip!… They noticed their glasses were nearly empty. The last sip meant they were making a special toast. It was the end of the wine and the end of another day. It was their way of saying a spiritual goodnight to their children.

Every evening they’d raise their glasses and say Peaceful good evening, and I love you, naming each of their children, and Lynn’s future grandchild, that they knew would be a girl to be named Hope or Grace, in a mutual mother’s prayer. Silly ritual they knew but one that was special. One or more glasses each are ending the same way – spiritually recognizing their children in a mother’s nightly prayer at sunset.

Fanning themselves in the breeze that evening with slightly more wine than normally consumed … slightly, they never had too much or ever got drunk; they thought that senseless to do. They were bantering back and forth about who had the biggest sexual appetite, favorite positions and likes – just being silly girls. No one was around, so why not?

Hey, Bridget, do you remember your first ‘O’?"

First what? she asked.

Sitting on the deck overlooking the lake, holding a long piece of grass in her hand like an artist's brush ‘drawing’ in the water; knew what she was up to. They were so close, knowing each other’s minds, especially after all these years of friendship.

Bridget, I will ask you again, and don’t be coy with me, there isn’t a subject we haven’t talked about in varying manners…Do you remember what I’m really getting at – the first time you touched yourself so you would know what it felt like? Or did it come with sex?

It? An orgasm? She asks in shock.

Oh it was different for me, the ‘orgasm’ part. Being the good Catholic girl, it came awhile after I was married at nineteen, and like you, at age twenty. Lynn, you branched out and did what the nuns told us not to do earlier than me… ahem! You always were more mature than me when it came to dating and boys.

For me doing that came out of desperation wondering what all the moaning and groaning I heard from others, and the movies were all about, said Bridget. Sex felt good, but I didn’t know how good it could be – until that happened.

Lynn lies back on the chaise panting... Yes! Yes! Yes! Hallelujah, so that’s what all the fuss is about…Yes, I want more!

They both burst out in laughter. Lynn, while rubbing her torso in Mae West fashion, says. When you’ve experienced the feeling, you know what you need to know – how to move to get to that plateau - climax.

Standing up she starts doing this belly-dance type gyration.

Ahhhh, move the right way with the right lover with unselfish satisfaction on his mind and you can have two or three orgasms. Ever have multi-orgasms Bridgey?

Heck, I’d like to have one good orgasm, having two or more would be heavenly. Sounds like you and Dale are a complete match in bed.

The man won’t stop until I am completely satisfied, I’m so lucky he loves me so unconditionally and completely. We may not have the biggest house or most expensive car, but he gives me satisfaction beyond belief. I’d never leave Dale he is the most unselfish man in the world. Phew…is it hot outside or am I just married to the hottest man in the world? I’ll make it up to him when I fly home. Let’s go to that sexy new lingerie store at the mall, I want to buy a new naughty nightgown to show him how much he was missed. What do you southern gals say down here? ‘I do declare, I have the vapors.’ Gee, don’t we need a cigarette now?

They both laughed hysterically dabbing their eyes with tissue. Hey, we don’t smoke…we drink wine! But oddly enough I do smell some smoke!

Their stomachs hurt from laughing so hard. Just like when they were kids again. Lynn loved Bridget’s hearty laugh, and could tell she really needed to open up and do a lot of laughing to get out what looked, and sounded like pent up feelings.

Both were smiling contently with their wine as they peered at the sunset. It felt good to have some ‘girl time,’ talk about what they wanted, and be foolish again for what they called their yearly mom’s soiree. Bridget’s cell phone rang, but no one answered on the other end.

Must be a wrong number, Lynn remarked.

Yes, probably, but it’s been happening often at least once a day and definitely when someone is visiting like showing off either on my cell or house phone, so odd.

She stands up, pauses and looks around the yard.

What are you looking for, someone out there?

It’s the most bizarre thing Lynn, the last time someone was over, the phone rang, or we heard a loud noise outside ----and we also happened to be talking about sex. Had been to a movie and we were talking about the great sexy parts of the story, when the phone also rang that time. Odd, but you’re probably correct. My mind can get the best of me.

Now - where were we in conversation?

Orgasm’s babe, orgasms! Sex-sex-sex! Lynn squealed like a cheerleader.

They both stopped and looked at the phone thinking it would’ve started to ring and laughed at the thought.

Yes, you’re right, Bridget said while chuckling and thinking about their multi-staged orgasm conversation.

It does open your eyes to who turns you on and what could happen in getting there; the art of real love making.

My first O didn’t come with lovemaking. Oh no. In those years I was flirting; I wanted responses, had no idea a goal would be one! Remember Lynn I was very naïve. Heck, I learned more from our coded talks, and your mother taking us girls aside now and then to talk with us growing up, than I did from my own mother. First kisses and loves were learning times as an eager to learn teen, the best actually in my heart," she said sincerely.

Oh yes Lynn added while looking into her emptied glass of wine, I remember…you called all those delicious memories you’ve stored away, your brain files. They’re youthful memories placed in your brain and you have filed the best away. When, if ever do you ‘bring them out?’

Oh, when I’m depressed, lonely, or need to escape from reality, said Bridget while motioning her hand.

Lynn swings her legs from her chaise to the ground and asked, Are you okay Bridget Ann?

"Oh, of course, a little old fashioned going down memory lane day-dream stuff. You know…Wonder what it would have been like if this guy or that was my lover; or I just add on to our fond memories, stuff like that, why? Called ‘daydreaming’ – puts my brain in neutral and relaxes me. Events all acted out and recaptured in memory form for me to push play and then see again, and control. You know, like in instant replay in sports.

Lynn sits up and has a questionable look on her face trying to picture a time out for coaches sideline football replay.

And no, I know what you’re thinking bad girl, the football coaches aren’t looking into the instant replay special camera on the sideline to look at what I’m daydreaming about, or what we’re doing!

She chuckles, but Lynn still looked puzzled.

Looking concerned, this time Lynn asked, Does this happen a lot, you know this vivid daydreaming or going down memory lane? -- Perhaps an escape from reality? Honey, what is there to escape from in your life?

Lynn noticed Bridget hadn’t been wearing her wedding ring and was fiddling with her ring finger, so she knew something was on her mind. Bridget realizes that Lynn noticed her bare left hand and stopped fidgeting.

Ah, whenever the mood strikes, no big deal, Dr. Freud.

The expression told Lynn that Bridget wanted the conversation over.

Hey, Bridgey, when was your first ‘O’?

Pausing for a moment, Bridget answered with a half-smile on her face. Told you…it took years, had no idea what the movies or books were talking about. Felt good, but no ‘over the top’ stuff with Owen. Finally, the feeling is so strong and I was all by myself, I figured I’d try it. I was a young married woman; I needed to experience what they were talking about…

She moves to the end of the deck and gazes out on the lake… And what I was missing.

So, that’s what you meant by ‘it didn’t come with love-making?’ I get it now. I figured it out and I tried that before getting married so I’d know what my goal would be, Lynn said pointing her finger to make a point.

Yes, you were always ahead of me in that respect, and the nuns said we weren’t supposed to do ‘that,’ Bridget laughed.

There’s a reason thought Lynn, she’ll fess up more when she’s ready.

God love Bridget, she thought. She’s the type that will hold your hand and listen to every word you say for as long as it takes when there’s a problem… but to open up and talk about herself, well, that takes prodding. She always shrugs her shoulders, and says it isn’t important, nor are her feelings.

Thinking back Lynn remembers Bridget’s home life, and how she was always told what to do. She was never independent enough or allowed to have her own feelings or emotions. Being a good Catholic girl, she did as told.

Over the years, they remembered writing to each other in ‘secret coded’ words about they’re ‘firsts.’

Touching Bridget’s arm, I kept all those letters and the alphabet code stuffed in my pink teddy bear you gave me, Lynn told her.

Me too! Bridget said,

Remember we bought each other pink matching sister bears we could use to talk to when we were lonely? What those bears saw, huh? Laughing, they both grabbed each other’s hands.

I noticed you still have your bear in your room? I still have mine, too. Was going to give it to my daughter when she was little, but she liked a fluffy puppy better, so I kept it stored away.

And the code, oh what a big deal that was, the alphabet backwards. We thought we were secret agents with coded language. That was our only way to talk about boys privately.

Hey Lynn, I found my poorly constructed paper keyboard to that old typewriter the other day. Since we had the backward alphabet as our language, I had to tape new letters over the regular so I could type and understand our messages. All that just to talk about boys and our feelings, we were boy crazy; we were normal teens.

Both moaned with a chuckle.

There was no Email in those days or cell phones to communicate. They kept all those memories and pressed them like a flower in a book to be treasured - filed away. They certainly learned a lot over the years, especially, that their friendship would last a lifetime. Yes indeed, and they wouldn’t have traded a second of it. Sitting back, both agreed they wished they could go back and re-do some of those times – knowing now what they know. Snickering at the thought, both agreed life was sure different, than what was dreamed when young.

Know what? Bridget asked while facing her best friend.

I realized at a young age that I loved men – the male body. I loved making out, getting responses from them by flirting and touching. Nothing better than listening to his breathing and realizing he is totally enjoying the moment and the memory we’re making. Took me awhile, but I learned. Love the closeness of bodies touching more than anything… the heightened vibrations of, ‘I want you, and hold me!’

Looking back over to the water, she said, I was thinking, I’d guess you’d call it an accounting of who my friends really are. You know, the ones I can confide in, or tell an off-color joke to and they won’t think my tongue is venomous.

Smiling a sheepish grin, Lynn quips, Yea, you told me you quite enjoyed French kissing, so was that tongue venomous? Is that what all the boys said about you? They both giggled as if they were young schoolgirls again.

I am serious Lynn, you are my confidant …my best - treasured friend in the world. Except for you, most of my friends are men that I kid around with, entrust in feelings and share. I’ll show you, wait here.

She ran inside the house and found her purse and brought out her address book.

Look at these names, mostly men. I’d rather confide in a man than most women. Go figure! In this life, whether it’s men or women; friends if called such are important in our lifecycle. I’m always there for you; you’ve always been there for me, and I’m sure our friends feel the same for us.

Yes, continued Lynn, Don’t you realize most of our girl friends were in a way jealous of you? All the guys wanted to be around you, so many of the girls figured they’d get your cast off’s and be appreciative.

Baloney! I’m not special or prettier than them, why’d they think that way?

Because the guys did like you best even when we were in grade school. We moved so I didn’t get to experience the teen years of high school with you, but Bridget you are special and wonderful. So if any of those girls aren’t your friend any longer, well too bad. I’m your friend for life and don’t you ever forget it. Plus, think about it, there seemed to be more guys than girls in school you said, so the odds were more male friends.

While walking to the screened porch to get away from the bugs outside, Bridget asked, Hey Lynnie, you didn’t do it that young, you know, lose your virginity or did I read our code incorrectly?

Oh no, you know me, just like you - little Miss Lynnie Catholic. I also was a virgin at age twenty when I married. I did confess that to you at the time … but I loved those alone moments with a boy definitely, not how the nuns told us, huh? Kissing is very important such a personal moment to share, always was and is.

What about you, where or how do you crave to be kissed… oh yea that’s right Miss French Tongue-Bridget, Oui? Oui!

They started doing their best at first year French classes they could remember, and realized they forgot more than they remembered. Picking up their crystal wine glasses, they clinked in salute to men. Looking at some budding age spots on their hands and a few tiny wrinkles that are starting to collect, they realized mentally they were back to being kids for those two weeks together at the lake. Spots and wrinkles didn’t matter.

Looking out towards the porch and again playing with her wedding ring finger, Bridget softly said, Some of those skinny or immature guys grew up handsome and successful…

She pauses in reflection. Yea, she said as she winked her eye, I would like to re-do a couple of those relationships. Plus there’s a couple I wish I never dated - especially one name!

Names girl, give me names! Come on Bridget, give it up what are you not telling me?

Oh, forget it, you didn’t know them anyway. Though I did tell you about one guy, Adam. He thought he was the only man on earth and that every woman was to be his. Such a jerk disgusted me actually. Over the years, I saw him a few times when I’d fly home to visit my parents. He’d be outside the soup kitchen in town near the church. Still creepy and he thinks he’s a gift to all women. Dressed and smelling like a vagrant, he would stare at me as if he’s never seen a woman before. His eyes and what thoughts were behind them scared me. Goosebumps appeared on her arms at the thought.

Do you know if he is or was ever married?

Don’t think so, who’d marry him, he smells and looks to be homeless. Just stands there salivating, gross!

A real prize…

Don’t know what happened to him. Remembered him as a freshman than suddenly quit school and was more in jail than out. Felt bad for him but he gave me the creeps. Acted like he had money thinking the girls would fall for him, but none did. If he got a girl interested, they’d date and none ever dated him a second time, neither did I. He was so sweet when he was interested in a girl. When they were alone, something came over him. Very peculiar, and someone I never want to ever see again. Never!

What ever happened to him?

Most likely has some mental disease or AIDS from doing it with livestock at the dairy farm he worked at. Actually once I thought I saw him here in Florida after I flew back from my mother’s funeral. Let’s talk about something else. Too scary.

Animal magnetism he had! -- Hey is he the guy your aunt told us about that you knew in school, that they arrested for perhaps killing his parents? Did he?

She said he was sent away somewhere but they didn’t have enough evidence, no Miranda rights read, or the evidence tainted so the case was thrown out. There could be a guilty man out there waiting to jump on someone else or has never got caught!

I’m feeling chilled, let’s go in, every tree snapping noise outside is bothering me thinking about him.

Snap!

What in the world was that? they both said together.

Let’s go inside said Lynn, our minds are running away from us plus the night air is chilly tonight.

Chilly air and very chilly subject matter let us go inside.

Bridget escorts Lynn and their wine inside the house. Looking out towards the lake and wooded area, she cringes as she locks the door behind her, and makes sure her outside motion detectors are turned on – just in case. Inside, the ladies opened up old photo albums from their childhood to make them laugh while munching microwave popcorn.

Later, when walking to bed, Bridget asked Lynn, Did you see any weird animals or even homeless on your way in here to my house?

"Gosh no, just the usual dead birds. Oh yes, ten miles away did see a