Give The Hippo What He Wants

By Robert Jeschonek

A mind-blowing science fiction thriller from an award-winning Star Trek and Doctor Who author! In the baseball league of the future, losing the World Series will get you the death penalty. Nobody cares if anti-MVP Thal Simoleon choked because of an opera-singing pink hippo that only he can see. Angry fans hunt him down in murderous mobs, dying to get a piece of him. And that damn pink hippo taunts him every step of the way, always making things worse. But the sins of the past that set the death hunt in motion might also point the way to salvation. Will the pink hippo's terrible secret be the key that leads Thal back to some kind of glory? Or will he die in extra innings of the bloodiest high-tech basebrawl of all time? Only the hippo knows.

This masterpiece of scifi adventure will race you out to the edge of reality, blow your mind, and kick your ass. Don't miss the uncut version of this legendary story, available here from Tsetse Press for the first time anywhere.

Reviews

Robert T. Jeschonek "sees the world like no one else sees it, and makes incredibly witty, incisive stories out of that skewed worldview." – Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author of the Starship series

"Jeschonek ́s stories are delightfully insane, a pleasure to read..." – Fábio Fernandes, Fantasy Book Critic

Contents

Story plus novel preview

About the Author

Award-winning science fiction author Robert T. Jeschonek has written Star Trek and Doctor Who fiction and futuristic stories for books, magazines, websites, and podcasts around the world. He won the national grand prize in the Strange New Worlds writing contest from Pocket Books. He is one of a handful of authors chosen to write stories in the Star Trek: New Frontier universe. DC Comics, Simon & Schuster, and DAW have published his work. His young adult urban fantasy novel, My Favorite Band Does Not Exist, is due July 11, 2011 from Clarion Books/Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, and is available for pre-order from your favorite bookseller.

Visit Robert T. Jeschonek online at The Fictioneer website, www.thefictioneer.com. You can also find him on Facebook. For news on his latest online projects, visit the Tsetse Press website at www.tsetsepress.com.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Robert Jeschonek
• Release date: Jun 9, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458166579

Book preview

Give The Hippo What He Wants

GIVE THE HIPPO WHAT HE WANTS

A SCIFI TALE

ROBERT JESCHONEK

Pie Press

CONTENTS

Also by Robert Jeschonek

Give The Hippo What He Wants

About the Author

Special Preview: Six Scifi Stories Volume Four

GIVE THE HIPPO WHAT HE WANTS

Copyright © September 2023 by Robert Jeschonek

http://bobscribe.com/

Cover Art Copyright © 2023 by Ben Baldwin

www.benbaldwin.co.uk

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved by the author.

A rocketship blasts off among the stars.

Published by Blastoff Books

An Imprint of Pie Press

411 Chancellor Street

Johnstown, Pennsylvania 15904

www.piepresspublishing.com

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ALSO BY ROBERT JESCHONEK

100th Power Book 1

100th Power Book 2

100th Power Book 3

Blastoff!

Cosmic Conflicts

Gray Lady Rising (with Annie Reed)

In a Green Dress, Surrounded by Exploding Clowns and Other Stories

In the Empire of Underpants and Other Stories

Battlenaut Crucible

Scifi Motherlode

Sticks and Stones: A Trek Novel

GIVE THE HIPPO WHAT HE WANTS

The pink hippopotamus appeared in front of Thal Simoleon just as he was about to take the swing that could have won the World Series for the Bio Threats.

As soon as the ball left the pitcher’s hand, Thal knew he could launch it out of the park.  It came in straight and steady, a little low and outside but well within his range...proof that even a genetically engineered pitcher like Phallus Fearbringer could blow a throw under pressure.

Before the hippo appeared, Thal knew he was about to become the hero of the Series.  The Bio Threats were down by two in the bottom of the ninth with two outs...but the bases were loaded and the pitch was a home run waiting to happen.  One stroke of the bat would bring in the grand slam, assuring a Bio Threats win and a World Series title.

At least, that was what would have happened if the hippo hadn’t popped up out of nowhere, wearing a grass skirt and hopping around on two legs between him and the ball.

Singing opera.

When the creature appeared, Thal’s view of the pitch was blocked, his concentration obliterated.  He took a swing anyway, aiming at the vicinity of where he expected the ball to be; to his credit, he came close...but his swing was well before the ball’s arrival.  The tip of the bat lashed into the corner of the strike zone and forward and up, passing harmlessly through the air and then the hippo.

A heartbeat later, the ball sailed through and smacked into the catcher’s mitt.

The hippo kept right on singing and pirouetting in front of him, long black lashes fluttering over baby blue eyes.

The crowd roared with rage.  It was Thal’s third strike.

The game was over.

As the Dirty Nukes threw their hats in the air and embraced in the infield, Thal hurled his bat through the hippo, not caring who might be on the other side of the insubstantial phantasm.  The surprise visitor had robbed him of a great accomplishment; if he could have strangled it to death on the spot, he would have.

But he knew