Honor and Lies

By Mary Beth Lee

When 14-year-old Sissy discovers she's not simply the dark skinned friend of the Davis family, she's devastated. The truth destroys everything she's ever known about herself.
Raised in the house as a playmate to the Davis daughter, Sissy's been educated in books not in skills that will get her through the rough life she now knows awaits her. Still, Sissy takes a job in the kitchens, facing the persecution of other slaves and the sun-up-to-sun-down work in the hottest place on the plantation.
Savannah Davis, the 14-year-old rebel who believes in abolition and espouses Northern doctrine whenever she gets the chance, doesn't understand her sudden emotional turmoil over right and wrong.
Deliverance...Or not? Both girls are forced to decide whether they will pursue their dreams or let them die at a time when death becomes all too real. Set against the backdrop of the time directly before the Civil War, Honor and Lies is a dual coming-of-age story of family, loss and love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mary Beth Lee
• Release date: Jun 8, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458004970

Mary Beth Lee

First Amendment lovin' Texan wife, mother, teacher, writer, low-carb living zumba backslider living life big life in a drought-stricken town. Mary Beth Lee is a student media adviser in North Texas where she lives with her husband and dog.

Book preview

Honor and

Lies

Elizabeth Lee Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2011 Elizabeth Lee

cover photo by Collin Harvey

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

To Mary Ella. It started with you.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Epilogue

CHAPTER 1

Look to’t, think on’t, I do not use to jest. Thursday is near; lay hand on heart advise; And you be mine, I’ll give you to my friend; And you be not, hang, beg starve, die in the streets, For, by my soul, I’ll ne’er acknowledge you.

Romeo and Juliet Act III SCENE V

The sun blasted down on the earth, scorching the saplings and causing the gardenias to droop once again. Not even the slightest breeze brushed the curtain aside as Savannah stood glancing out her window in hopes of finding something.

What didn’t necessarily matter, but boredom had eaten away the last hour of her free time, and she would find something to do.

If only the air didn’t seem to seep inside her lungs when she breathed.

Teardrops of perspiration burrowed their way between her shoulder blades now, and her pretty blonde hair curled of its own volition around her temples...an after effect of sweaty wetness.

One more glance out the window and Savannah knew she wouldn’t find her source of freedom outside. Even the birds were quiet today.

She walked to her desk, the new one her father brought back after his last trip to the town she’d been named after, and prayed she’d find some source of entertainment.

But it was certainly no help.

One French text wasn’t going to help her, and Savannah knew if she read another word of Shakespeare she’d just die.

Closing her eyes, she sighed deeply and plopped on her bed. How long could this infernal heat continue? If she hadn’t had that stupid argument with her mother, she could at least go down to the sitting room and be miserable with the rest of the family.

No, that wasn’t necessarily true. George was out with Daddy, and Samuel was probably out, too. And Momma had spent the last week preparing menus for the visitors.

Aunt Deedee and Uncle Joe were coming for a time.

Maybe she could just lie back on the pillow and relax. Maybe a dream would come to her again. Ever since Sissy had taken her to see Miss Ella, she’d been able to dream whatever she wanted. And so far, the dreams were so very lovely.

A princess dream would be nice right now. A princess dream where she starred as Lady Caroline, presiding over the ancient ice forest.

White-covered hills and quartz-covered trees surrounded all, and everyone wore pure white clothes made from the thickest pelts of the softest animals.

The sky shone clear topaz blue and the sun glinted off the ground as animals ran all around her feet and awaited her command. And somewhere off in the distance, someone stood waiting to talk to her.

And Caroline wanted to talk, desperately wanted to see who strode toward her, calling her name, as the cool breeze blew mists of downy snow onto her cheeks....

Anna.

Trying desperately to ignore the intruder, Savannah finally sighed and opened her eyes as the oppressive heat weighed around her body, once again pushing all thoughts of cool breezes and snow-covered hills to the netherworld.

Sissy. Savannah threw an elbow over her forehead, brushing the hair back. I was having the most wonderful dream.

Oh, a dream, huh? Sissy crossed to the window and looked down. I just bet you were havin’ a dream. I don’t suppose Mr. Jonathan Andrews found his way into that dream?

I should think not! Savannah couldn’t tame the blush that spread across her cheeks. She shouldn’t have told Sissy about Jonathan. Not that she ever kept anything from Sissy.

Actually, I was dreaming about a wonderful place where nothing but cool air blows, and snow and ice crystals cover everything, and I was Princess Caroline, ruler of the ice forest, and even the birds were my friends.

Dreams are for nighttime, Anna. Don’t go wastin’ your days with ‘em.

Savannah spread her arms across her bed. Dreams are for all the time, Sissy. When are you going to learn that? If you stop dreaming, life just kind of takes over, and Lord knows that would be disastrous.

Rolling her eyes, Sissy pulled at Savannah’s arm. Come on, Miss Dreamer. All your dreamin’s gonna make you want to kick yourself in a few minutes.

Allowing herself to be dragged out of the bed, Savannah stood with a last look at the pillow where a few minutes before she’d found such a fine escape.

Okay, Sissy, spit it out. What’s going to make me want to kick myself if I stay up here dreaming?

Savannah followed Sissy to the window and watched while she pointed down the road.

Your momma said company’s coming.

Savannah groaned and turned away. Yes, Sissy. Remember? Aunt Deedee and Uncle Joe are going to be here soon. Aunt Deedee is staying for a spell.

Now, why would I go and wake you from a dream for something you know all about? Sissy shook her head in disgust. Your momma said Samuel was bringin’ Jonathan over to visit. They'll be here soon, and you know Samuel. He’ll be marchin’ all around bossin’ everyone, and if you’re not down there waitin’, you won’t get to see Jonathan Andrews for anything at all.

Oh, she knew Samuel all right, and Sissy was certainly right about him bossing everyone around.

Oh, Sissy, it makes me so mad when I think of how Samuel’s been acting all high and mighty lately. Why, I could still beat him in a race if I wanted, and it wasn’t so very long ago I was making him pay for all his silliness.

Brushing a hand through her hair, Savannah turned to pace the room.

I swear, this being a girl is nasty business. These dresses get in the way, and Lord knows I couldn’t win any races with all the mess I have to wear underneath. In this heat or not, it’s the way we dress that will kill women. Do you know I read in a paper that a woman up North is wearing pants? Momma would die, I swear she would, if I wore pantaloons like those in that paper I saw.

Savannah sat at her vanity and watched Sissy as she talked. No sense fixing her hair, it would just be a mess in a few minutes anyway. But she would brush it and put it up in her favorite green ribbon. The one Samuel said matched her eyes...their eyes. Sissy stood looking down on the road to the house. If Samuel was bringing Jonathan for a visit, she’d know soon enough.

Sissy?

Hm?

Do you think we’ll really go to war like the papers said?

Across the room, Sissy turned to look at her, and Savannah felt an odd uneasiness as their eyes met.

I don’t know, Anna. But from what I’ve heard and what I’ve seen, I’d say somethin’s gonna happen. Are you scared?

Savannah looked down, and when she returned her gaze, Sissy was looking out the window once again.

I don’t guess I am. Of course, she wasn’t. Because it wasn’t going to happen, and if it did, they’d take care of it in South Carolina, not here in Georgia. It wasn’t going to touch them. No, I guess I’m not scared. You know I agree, don’t you, Sissy? It was so important for her to know Sissy understood what she wanted, what she wished could be.

We said we weren’t talkin’ about this again, Anna. Last night, I told you, never again. That’s what Miss Ella said, and we agreed. Remember?

Savannah remembered. She’d never forget the way Miss Ella’s milky blue eyes had stabbed her own with their frigid gaze before she’d waved her bent and scarred finger and told her to hush her mouth.

But Miss Ella wasn’t here now. And Sissy was her best friend. She had to make sure she knew.

Okay, after right now, we won’t talk about it again. I promise. But you’ve got to tell me you know I agree with what that paper said. Tell me you know. Tell me, please.

Sissy’s eyes captured hers again, and the same uneasiness crept across Savannah’s shoulders.

Yes, Anna, I know you agree with those papers. I know you agree, and I know we will never talk about this again. Sissy turned away and faced the window as silence permeated the room before she cleared her throat. "Now, I think I see Jonathan and Samuel. Get ready, and when we go downstairs, I will call you Miss Savannah, and you will not tell your momma I don’t have to."

Savannah stood and walked to Sissy slowly, placing a hand on her shoulder when they finally stood face to face. Sissy, I’m sorry....

Holding up her hand, Sissy turned away while stopping Savannah’s words. None of that. We never talk about this again, and you never tell me you’re sorry for something neither of us asked for, but both of us were born to.

Turning to go out the door, Savannah muttered, If you call me Miss Savannah more than five times today, I swear I will scream and make a scene right there in front of everyone.

I just bet you would. A giggle escaped Sissy’s lips. That would sure impress Jonathan. It sure would.

A carnation tint covered Savannah’s cheeks at Sissy’s words. Well, I don’t care if it would or not. I swear I will. Savannah hugged Sissy and started out the door before realizing Sissy wasn’t right behind her.

Aren’t you coming?

Sissy shook her head. You go down and call for me just the way your momma does. That ought to ease her mind some. She’ll see you agree with her, and everything will be back to normal.

The last thing in the world Savannah wanted to do was call Sissy downstairs, but Sissy was rarely wrong. Momma had been in a tizzy about the way she acted lately. Maybe it would be for the best to let her win on the surface.

Okay, Sissy. I’ll do this today. But I’m not lying. Five times and that’s it.

With that she turned, brushed out her skirt, tightened her bow, and started down the stairs.

*****

Sissy watched as Savannah descended the stairs before turning back to the window to watch Samuel and Jonathan as they walked up the path to the house. How she envied them their carefree attitudes and laughing glances.

She turned and smoothed the bed free of wrinkles before taking the dust cloth from her pocket. It wouldn’t do for Mrs. Celinda to find her whiling away her time in Savannah’s bedroom. If anything, it would give her the ammunition she needed. Miss Ella knew what she was talking about.

Their last meeting rang clear in Sissy’s mind, and tremors passed through her body as she remembered.

It was fine and good for Savannah to say she agreed with what those Northern newspapers were writing. It was fine and good for her to say she was sorry. It was fine and good for her to do all that dreamin’. But Miss Ella was right when she said to leave all that dreamin’ business to the white folk. For as long as Sissy could remember, she’d been dreamin’ about one thing or another, and like Miss Ella said, all it brought her was a heart full of hurt. But those words of wisdom hadn’t brought on the tremors she’d been experiencing since the talk. No, Sissy’s fear came from a far more serious threat than the destruction of silly dreams.

She remembered the way she and Savannah had run with the wind across the dark grounds of the plantation before passing through the fence to Miss Ella’s cabin. The wind had stopped suddenly when they’d walked through the gate, and Savannah had giggled before asking if Miss Ella was a real, live witch like those in Macbeth who could see the future.

Sissy had shivered before answering even as a cold chill crawled up her back.

No, she ain’t, Anna, and you best not let her hear you talkin’ like that.

Twirling around in front of the door, Savannah wiggled her arms up and down while whispering in a wretched voice, Double, double, toil and trouble...

Before she could finish, Sissy shoved her. Stop it, Savannah. Miss Ella won’t have anything to do with either of us if you go in there makin’ fun. And if you don’t stop it, I’m not gonna’ knock on her door.

Instantly contrite, Savannah put her hands to her side and looked to the ground. Okay, Sissy. I’m sorry. Please knock. Please let me talk to her.

The knock had been needless. Whether because of the thin, cracked walls or some other, more inexplicable reason, Miss Ella’s door creaked open before Sissy could knock.

Both girls stood transfixed, gazing into a smoky, dark haze of shadows and inky blackness before a wizened voice wheezed across the room.

Come in, come in. I’ve been expecting you two for such a long time.

For the first time since starting on the expedition, Sissy had felt a moment of panic. Sissy looked at Savannah whose mouth was hanging open in a little oh of astonishment before she tiptoed forward, speaking at the same time.

Miss Ella. I’m Sissy, and this is Savannah. You’ve heard of her I’m sure. She’s Master William’s daughter. I don’t rightly know if you’ve heard of me or not, but...

Here, Savannah had interrupted, But Sissy is my dearest friend in the world, and I made her promise to bring me to you.

A cackle across the room preceded an answer. Whether a laugh or a cough, Sissy couldn’t swear to.

I know who you both are. Miss Ella paused a second and shuffled forward out of the shadows, surprising them with her ancient countenance. I imagine I know right more about you both than even you do.

The milky blue blindness had taken Miss Ella’s sight or soon would. That was apparent from the beginning. But it didn’t seem to stop her from seeing more of a person than a person wanted seen.

Her gray hair stuck out every which way, and its cracked ends reached to her hips. Her nose took up more of her face than any other feature and proved her mixed heritage beyond a doubt. The still dominant cheekbones held sagging brown skin to her face.

Sissy’d heard from others that Miss Ella’s father was an Indian chief, but until now, she’d doubted it. After seeing her in person, she doubted no more.

With the help of a gnarled walking stick, Miss Ella shuffled closer, and Sissy had to hold Savannah’s hand to keep her from running back past the fence and to the house.

She had held Savannah’s hand, even as her own was trembling. Even as her knees almost buckled, Sissy held Savannah in place because under the old woman’s intense gaze, Sissy saw some sort of connection. A connection she’d never had, but had always dreamed of.

When she reached them, Miss Ella reached out her hand and pushed the door open wider, and as she did, the connection faded away.

Well, come on in. I don’t imagine you two scampered all the way across the field to look at me and then run back to the house in a fit of nerves. If you had the courage to come and ask it, come in and find out what you want to know.

At her words, Savannah laughed, seemingly at ease now. But Sissy couldn’t laugh. An electricity sizzled in the atmosphere, and she could feel a strange unaccounted for lump between her stomach and her lungs. And for a second, she wondered if this was what the disciples felt when Jesus asked them to follow him.

Because Savannah walked through the door, Sissy followed.

Miss Ella made Savannah laugh, and even though Sissy joined in the sound, she didn’t join in the feeling. Every time Miss Ella’s eyes passed over her, she felt the jolt of knowing.

Knowing what, Sissy couldn’t explain. At least not then. But Miss Ella had known, and she’d been pleased that Sissy wasn’t laughing.

After Miss Ella told Savannah how to control her dreams anytime she wanted to, she stood and creaked to the door, opening it slowly before turning to them and saying goodbye. Sissy heard the unspoken message. She had more to say, just not in Savannah’s presence.

Later Sissy had ventured back to the cabin off the edge of the first field to hear what needed saying. Maybe it had needed saying forever, but no one had been around to say it.

Sissy, girl, do you know what you are?

The question had surprised her. Not because of the words themselves, but because of the difficulty of the answer.

Do you know what the word ‘slave’ means, Sissy?

Her head nodded almost on its own. She did know what it meant. She lived with Savannah and Master William and Miss Celinda because of being a slave.

You are owned, girl. Owned. Do you understand what that means?

Again, she’d nodded. She did understand. She was fourteen years old, and Savannah and Samuel had both spent lots of time teaching her all they learned in school. She wasn’t dumb. She lifted her chin in pride of that knowledge. Miss Ella must not realize how educated she was.

I don’t think you do....

Sissy opened her mouth to interrupt, and Miss Ella put up her