When Soldiers Cried

By David Shea

By the summer of 1967, the nation’s Selective Service System was fueling the largest military build-up since World War II. Hundreds of thousands of young men, many too young to legally drink and vote, were inducted to wage an ill-fated war in Vietnam. Written as a narrative history, this story is a lasting tribute to those who answered the call and paid the ultimate sacrifice in the face of improbable odds.
Based on actual events, this book provides a unique, behind-the-scenes account of the draft and how the Vietnam War was actually conducted and fought. Although many of the scenes are shockingly vivid and the language is often raw, they have been included to describe the real conditions the young draftees had to endure. Woven throughout the pages of this book are the tragedies of loss and the instinctive drive to survive and rebuild.
Sadly, many of the men depicted in this book are among the over fifty-eight thousand fallen soldiers whose names are engraved on the hallowed, granite panels of the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C. Countless more were wounded or suffered from haunting, psychological problems, withdrawal, depression and suicide. In many ways, the sacrifices paid by their families were even greater.
To respect the privacy of the surviving families, many of the names in this book have been changed in order to protect their true identities.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brandylane Publishers
• Release date: Jun 7, 2011
• ISBN: 9781883911966

Book preview

WHEN SOLDIERS CRIED

A True Story about Vietnam

By David Shea

Published by Brandylane Publishers, Inc. at Smashwords

Copyright 2011 by David Bradley Shea.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Brandylane Publishers, Inc.

http://www.brandylanepublishers.com

* * * * *

This book is dedicated to the memory of

the late Colonel John S. Walker, III

and the late Master Sergeant Arlan L. Top Wheeler

* * * * *

It’s not the critic who counts. It’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled. Credit belongs to the man who was really in the arena, his face marred by dust, sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs to come short and short again. Because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. It is the man who actually strives to do the deeds, who knows the great enthusiasm and knows the great devotion, who spends himself on a worthy cause, who at best, knows in the end the triumph of great achievement. And who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and cruel souls who know neither victory or defeat.

—Theodore Roosevelt

* * * * *

CONTENTS

Chapter 1: On the Beach

Chapter 2: Summertime

Chapter 3: Induction

Chapter 4: Training

Chapter 5: Paradise or Lost?

Chapter 6: Facing Darkness

Chapter 7: Bronco

Chapter 8: Too Dark to See

Chapter 9: Return to Bronco

Chapter 10: Infusion

Chapter 11: Back to the Field

Chapter 12: LZ Bug

Chapter 13: By the Numbers

Chapter 14: Combat Clerk

Chapter 15: Sergeant Williams

Chapter 16: Captain Wagner

Chapter 17: Nerve Center

Chapter 18: Specialist, 4th Class

Chapter 19: On the Side Looking In

Chapter 20: PFC Donnelly

Chapter 21: Ledwell Pulls Out

Chapter 22: In Vino Veritas

Chapter 23: Changing Tide

Chapter 24: Vung Tau

Chapter 25: Andrews Flies High

Chapter 26: Reflections

Chapter 27: Going Home

Chapter 28: Spiders in the Wind

Postlude

About the Author

* * * * *

1

On the Beach

The moon ascended like a fluorescent balloon, spreading a silvery swath across the warm Atlantic Ocean–as if its iconic face were smiling down on admirers curled inside the blanket below. For they were at the center of the universe and the night was theirs alone. At least those were the words Kelly was whispering in the ear of the girl he held next to him.

Hummph! Just like a guy! said the girl, rising quickly, clutching her top close to her breasts. You men are all alike. You think with a few sweet words, you can get a girl into bed!

Geesh, just like a girl! he commented, after an awkward pause. You think all of us guys are the same. I was just hoping you were feeling the way I was. Who said anything about making love?

As she slid onto the sand, pulling up her jeans and re-snapping her bra, Kelly could see her graceful, tanned curves in the moonlight.

It was July 1967 in Ocean City, Maryland, a beach resort 130 miles southeast of Baltimore. Dimpled sand dunes stretched for miles northward from 101st Street to the Delaware line. A refuge from summertime tourists, the dunes offered a venue for summertime locals to build bonfires and party. While crackling flames danced with ocean breezes, couples cuddled on blankets in shadowed bowls.

I’ll never understand women, he remarked, now sitting cross-legged on the blanket. They never seem to know what they want. One minute they act all hot and bothered. And the next, they act like you’re a dirty old man.

Well the same goes for us! Guys just don’t seem to understand what it’s like to be a girl, she sighed. Besides, you haven’t even told me you love me. Sometimes I wonder if you even know my name.

For Christ’s sake, how can I tell you that? We’ve only known each other four days! stammered Kelly. And you know very well that I know your name. You’re Julie Nelson from Yorktown, Virginia. And you go to Old Dominion College in Norfolk.

She took several seconds to look out toward the glistening sea before turning her head toward him. Very good, she said, while nodding with pursed lips.

They met on the beach at 12th Street where Kelly was a lifeguard. Julie was visiting a friend who worked as a waitress at a local restaurant. It was her day off, so they decided to go to the beach. As they stepped onto the sand, she looked up to see Kelly for the first time. He was on his orange stand, looking out over the ocean. Her mouth fell open with a gasp.

Who is that hunk? she asked.

Oh, that’s Sean Kelly. He’s the guard on this beach, explained her friend. He comes in the restaurant sometimes, usually with a bunch of other guards. I’ve never seen him with a girl.

Wearing a dark, brief swimsuit, his tanned and slightly sculpted body made a striking contrast against the morning sky. He wasn’t very muscular, but he had broad shoulders and a sleek torso. A matte of sun-bleached hair flopped over the top of his faded visor. And he had nicely curved buns and great-looking legs, she thought. From the minute Julie saw him, she knew they’d be together.

It didn’t take long for Kelly to notice her passing close to his stand toward the water. Hidden behind dark sunglasses, he watched her every move. She was five feet five inches with a gracefully curved body accented by a pink, two-piece bathing suit. He studied her slender hips and shapely legs and the sun-streaked curls that swayed over her shoulders. While she didn’t have large breasts, they rounded out her top nicely. And when she dove under a wave, his eyes were only on her.

Moments later, she bobbed to the surface tilting her head. Stroking her hair aside and wiping her eyes, she glanced quickly back at him. After that, he only had to offer a friendly smile and say hello to get things started. Since meeting, they had been to dinner and dancing at The Paddock, a chic nightclub with bands that played beach music. On this night, they had been invited to a friend’s party in the dunes.

Hey, look, why don’t we go for a walk? he suggested nonchalantly. It’s too beautiful of a night not to enjoy it while we’re here.

After a long pause, Julie nodded with a hidden smile.

They headed for the water’s folds that lapped the glittering sand. With each step, he could feel her getting closer. By the time they reached the water’s edge, her arm was brushing his.

Let’s head down the beach, he suggested, pointing to the distant lights of the Carousel Hotel.

Okay, she replied with a slight nod. I like feeling the wet sand under my feet and between my toes.

Me, too, he agreed as he stepped to meet the oncoming surge. Especially when water rushes over and around them. It’s like the surf brings in a new tingle each time.

They kept the same stride in silence for several yards, when Julie began to slow their pace.

Have you ever noticed how no two footprints seem to be the same? she started with heels pressed into the sand. Each impression is different from all the others, no matter how hard you try to make them look identical.

Yeah, you’re right, he agreed after several steps. But when you turn to look back at where you’ve been, they’ve been washed away by the tide. So, the only steps that really matter are the ones we’re making right now.

Julie looked up with a broad smile and caught Kelly’s hand with hers, wondering if she dared to speak. Suddenly, her words seemed to come from nowhere.

And in front of us, there’s nothing but smooth sand, waiting for us to take together.

Kelly pretended to weave off-balance for a moment before tilting his face into the glow of the moon.

What? she queried, pulling him to a stop at the edge of the surf. Did I say something wrong?

No, no, you didn’t say anything wrong, insisted Kelly shaking his head. It’s just…

Please, tell me if I said something wrong!

Kelly studied her expressions while thinking of the right words to say.

Well, you know how, when you go to a museum and you see statues of princesses? How the classic lines of their faces look so perfect?

Yeah, I guess so, said Julie with puzzlement. But what does that mean?

Kelly inhaled deeply, telling himself they should continue walking without admitting what he was really feeling. But, the sight of Julie quickly overtook him.

Well, when you turned your head just then, your face became radiant in the glow of the moon, he said after a slight hesitation. And, uh, it just caught me...

Julie lunged forward to turn his neck and kiss him deeply before easing away to answer. You know something, Mr. Lifeguard? she said with pursing lips. You can be a pretty romantic guy when you want to be. I’ve never had anyone talk like that to me before!

Kelly beamed at the recognition. With more confidence, he bent over to brush her lips with his.

Well, I guess I’ve got a good name for you, then, he said softy. You’re my princess.

Julie hugged his neck tightly and drew close to speak softly in his ear.

I hope this night never ends.

Kelly nodded in appreciation before they started to walk again.

Suddenly, without speaking, she stepped back and lifted off her top, tossing it on dry sand. Next, she slid out of her bra. Soon, her jeans and panties were strewn in the same manner. Captivated, Kelly watched as her naked body moved gracefully from the water’s edge toward deeper water. Suddenly, he felt a wave of passion wash over him like he had never felt before.

Man, you’re beautiful! he exclaimed in a near whisper.

Well, what are you waiting for? she teased while splashing in the surf. I’ve watched you rescue other people all day. Now come rescue me!

Kelly quickly slid out of his shorts and T-shirt, tossing them next to hers. He then marched through the water toward her. Under the moon’s glow, she could see his darkened body with wisps of white around his hips. Shivering in naked excitement, they embraced and then kissed passionately. He could feel the contour of her warm breasts as he pulled her toward him. The scent of her perfume made him eager to draw in deeply through his nose.

Where did you come from? he asked, after easing away to stroke the wet hair out of her face. I’ve never met anyone like you.

Blushing with radiance, Julie lifted her head to kiss his lips softly and then began nibbling on his neck and ears as Kelly began to trace the sides of her body with his fingertips. When he reached her hips, he paused momentarily before moving his hands behind her to gently explore her curves.

Feeling his caress, Julie titled her head with closed eyes to offer an approving humm.

Feel good? he asked quietly.

Uh, huh…I love having you touch me.

Aroused by her answer, Kelly drew his hands forward and lifted her to where she was able to wrap her legs around him. With her holding on, he started to playfully flex his knees, sometimes allowing the sea to wash over his head, causing Julie to chuckle with a girlish glee.

What are you doing, you fool? she teased with a laugh. What if I decide to hold your head down? You wouldn’t be able to get away.

Yeah, you’re probably right, he admitted as he started tilting sideways. Guess we’d just wash out to sea and I’d be lost in your arms forever.

Ooohhh. . . you are so cute! she said lovingly while hugging his neck. I just can’t get enough of you!

Smiling and feeling more confident, Kelly felt his desire swelling with every subtle movement of her body and word she spoke. In a strange way, he felt a sense of déjà vu–as if they had been together before in another place and time. Instinctively, he firmed his grip under her thighs and eased his hips forward.

Huhhhh! she gasped, raising her head with her eyes wide open.

What’s wrong? Are you all right? he asked somewhat nervously.

Julie lowered her eyes to look directly into his, shaking her head slightly without saying a word.

Sensing her uncertainty, Kelly pretended to be distracted by the restless current that swirled around his ankles by teetering slightly off balance. The next move was hers, he thought to himself. If she wants to go back to shore, he wouldn’t try to stop her.

Then, as if struck by lightening, he realized what the problem was–or so he thought.

Are…we safe? he asked nervously.

Several moments passed before she nodded her assurance.

He held his position, wondering what he should do next.

You have to understand–this is really special for me, she explained softly. I’ve never been like this before and I really like you.

Feeling the same awkwardness he didn’t want to admit, Kelly tried to play it cool, hoping she really knew more than he did.

It’s okay, he assured her. If you’re afraid, we don’t have to…

Shhhh…, she whispered with a widening smile. It’s just the two of us and the night is still young.

Feeling her legs spreading and hips moving toward him, Kelly inched forward, only this time with less pressure, often withdrawing slightly before stretching deeper. With each advance, he could feel more of her warmth until they were moving as one.

Bobbing together in chest high water with her chin against his shoulder, they were soon in rhythm with the gentle pulsations of the warm, caressing sea. Occasionally, he pressed deeper, making her feel weightless in a sea of ecstasy.

Suddenly, Kelly felt her tightening around him–as if she would never let go. The sensation made him quiver in nervous excitement. He knew he could explode at any moment. Frantically, he curled his toes upward, struggling to maintain control while Julie drifted with wild anticipation. As if asking for lustful mercy, he moaned her name in desperation and pulled her closer. As he pressed deeper, Julie tilted her head, panting passionately. Kelly tried holding their position without moving but soon realized his swelling desire would soon explode.

Suddenly, with a jolting sigh of relief, he erupted, sending surging waves of passion through both of them. Feeling the intensity of his release, Julie jerked her head upward to breathe deeply, imagining their bodies melting into one. With every successive wave, she felt an intoxicating pleasure for what seemed like forever.

Daring not to move, the two lovers remained locked in a lingering embrace until she felt Kelly begin to slip away.

I love you, she whispered softly, as her feet found the shifting, wet sand.

Feeling contented, Kelly pressed his chin into her neck and nodded in acceptance.

The early morning sun found them inside the blanket with Kelly curled behind her with his right arm wrapped around her bare waist. He was the first to roll onto his stomach with his chin resting between his palms. He marveled at the arced ocean against the morning sky before turning to see Julie’s head resting on her arms, looking up with soft blue eyes and a warm smile.

Last night was so special, she started with a sigh. I’m sorry I acted a little dumb. It’s just…

Shush, it’s okay. I wouldn’t have changed last night for anything.

She rose cross-legged with the blanket’s corner pulled up to her breasts.

No, wait! she insisted. I’ve watched how you manage the crowd on your beach, how you run in the sand and move through the water. When you dance, your hair moves to the beat of the music. And when you smile, your green eyes seem to a have certain sparkle. You have a zest for living and I like that about you.

Ah, you’re just saying that, but thanks, he said leaning over to kiss her wetted lips.

Listen to me! she continued while straightening slightly. You’re really a great guy and you deserve all that life can offer.

* * * * *

2

Summertime

Summers in Ocean City were made for postcards. The sand was silky smooth and the Atlantic was always deep blue under a hazy sun. Following the beach was a wooden boardwalk stretching more than two miles and lined with shops, picturesque hotels and restaurants. Many hotels had wide porches with rocking chairs so guests could enjoy balmy ocean breezes and watch the throngs of people stroll by. Off the boardwalk, there were good restaurants, bars and clubs with reasonable prices, even on a lifeguard’s budget.

Why don’t we get some steamed crabs tonight? he suggested while driving back to town with Julie curled under his right arm. Phillip’s has an all-you-can-eat special tonight.

That would be great. What time?

Say, between 7:00 and 7:30?

Okay! she answered as she slipped out of the car. After pausing a moment, she came around to his window and leaned in for a kiss. See you later, hon!

I can’t wait! said Kelly with his eyes closed.

As he pulled away, Kelly began to say a silent prayer, Thank you, Lord. Thank you for bringing me this beautiful girl. Please let this dream last forever.

At 9:55 A.M., Kelly crossed the boardwalk onto the beach, ready for another day’s work. He had already changed into his swimsuit in the bathroom of a nearby hotel and picked up his lifebuoy stored under a fire escape. Stopping in front of his stand, he planted the buoy in the sand and surveyed the water. The sea was beginning to ripple under a warm, southerly breeze. It would be an easy day, he predicted. Scanning to either side, he could see other guards adjusting their gear or talking with friends. As he drew a deep breath with his face raised to greet the warm sun, he knew he was where he belonged.

By 11:00 A.M., all guards were on top of their stands assuming a commanding view of the shoreline and the distant horizon that curved to a cobalt sea. Meanwhile, throngs of beachgoers were beginning to converge onto the sand. Soon, the crowd would become a sea as well.

Once on his stand, Kelly opened his metal utility box to prepare for the day. A former ammunition box, it was now crammed with the essentials of lifeguarding. In addition to first aid items, there were tanning oils and lotion, lip balm and a portable radio. After finding his favorite radio station, he began to coat his chest and legs with suntan lotion.

By the time he reached his calves, the song My Girl by the Temptations came on the radio, bringing a wide smile to his face. It made him think of the tender moments he and Julie had shared only hours before, so much so that he began