Samsara (A Paranormal Romance) 3rd Edition

By Sara Collins

Summer James is well aware how temporary life can be, yet when she is reunited with a dark angel she discovers that true love can transcend death.

Following the loss of her parents and break-up of her brief marriage, Summer's friends persuade her to have a night out to celebrate her twenty first birthday. During the evening she accidentally stumbles into the arms of the enigmatic Boden Phelan unaware that this first meeting is in fact a long awaited reunion.

As the truth about Boden unfolds, Summer’s reality is shattered sending her past life on a collision course with her present one. Summer is forced to deal with a trail of consequences and paranormal beings before she can begin her long awaited happily ever after.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sara Collins
• Release date: Mar 30, 2011
• ISBN: 9781458109095

Sara Collins

Sara Collins is of Jamaican descent and grew up in Grand Cayman and studied law at the London School of Economics and worked as a lawyer for seventeen years before doing a Master of Studies in Creative Writing at Cambridge University, where she was the recipient of the 2015 Michael Holroyd Prize for Creative Writing. Twitter: @mrsjaneymac

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SAMSARA

By

S E Collins

SMASHWORDS EDITION

* * * * *

PUBLISHED BY

S E Collins at Smashwords

Samsara

Copyright 2012 by S E Collins

3rd Edition

All rights are reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return toSmashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

* * * *

Chapter 1: Carpathian

January

BODEN HELD THE accelerator pressed to the floor, pushing the car to its limit whilst he drove through the night, covering the nine hundred miles or so between Germany and Romania in less than ten hours. The interchanging scenery whizzed past us framing the endless dark road until a wave of nausea prevented me from gazing out of the window any longer. Instead, I dragged my coat over my head and curled up on the seat. I wanted to fall asleep but my mind persisted with firing questions and replaying terrifying flashbacks of the events that forced us to escape our reality in the first place. Boden also remained quiet, neither answering my thoughts nor distracting me with conversation. I guessed his silence indicated his preoccupation with his own mind, considering what might lie in wait for us at our looming destination, or perhaps he was deliberating a strategy for his battle. Whichever it was I chose not to interrupt him and kept quiet, lost in my own thoughts under my coat.

We arrived in the heart of the Carpathian countryside just as the sun began to wake up the sky. For as far as the eye could see, pale silver mountains towered above the sea of trees, knitted together without a trace of civilisation. An hour or so more passed until we pulled over to the side of the deserted road into a sheltered lay-by.

We’re here. Their camp is in the heart of the Carpathian Mountains over there. Boden jabbed his finger towards the centre of the mountain range.

I slid out of the car after him and stretched this way and that untangling my stiff body before I wrapped it up in my cosy coat for protection from the fresh unpolluted chill. I watched Boden from for a moment. He stood motionless at the rear of the car gazing out across the landscape. I meandered over to him, taking my time and kicking loose stones along the road. Towards the end of our drive, his posture became tense and a permanent scowl spoiled his beautiful face. I wasn’t entirely sure what mood I would find him in.

We have to travel the rest on foot. He announced at the sound of my approach.

A musical beep followed his words, at the command of the car key that Boden held in his hand. The simple sound seemed to signal the end of our escape. I stepped closer to him, wanting to reach out to him in search of comfort but he denied me with his scowl still firmly fixed in place. I backed off feeling the effects of an invisible wound while Boden scooped up the large rucksack lying on the floor between us and threw it over his shoulder. Before I could string a few words together to put a dent in the heavy atmosphere Boden picked me up too and positioned me on to his back with as much regard as he had the rucksack.

"I can walk." I murmured under my breath hurt by his cold unfamiliar behaviour.

Too slow, we need to hurry there’s a lot of ground to cover. His terse tone lacked its usual warmth.

Thoughts crossed my mind about whether I had grown to become an inconvenience to him; hindering him in his responsibilities. After all, this rescue campaign must be the real purpose for him to exist in a mad world where monsters and demons live alongside blissfully ignorant humans, instead of pandering to a pathetic terrified human girl by having to pretend to be normal to salvage her fragile sanity.

Without warning Boden’s warm hands lifted me off his back on to the ground in front of him. In light of his peculiar behaviour my heart pounded with fear for what he might be about to say or do.

Boden rested his hands on my shoulders and bowed his head down with his eyes burning into mine. "Summer, please stop those ridiculous thoughts! He squeezed me up against his chest. After everything we’ve been through do you still lack faith in my all consuming love for you? My violent craving for you drove me to the point where I couldn’t face this world without you. Do you really think I’d ever consider you an inconvenience? Please Summer, it is very insulting."

I’m sorry it’s just that. . . .

Listen to me. I am at odds for putting you in this position when I promised you a normal life and I’m worried what it might do to you, but I’ve brought you because I can’t bear to be separated from you again. Boden sighed. "However, I am indebted to the pack because without the Chief, I would never have found you again and I consider that an enormous debt to repay, which, alas forces me to do this. Please don’t ever doubt that you are the most precious and important thing to me. But right now I need to focus in order to get my mind ready for them. Boden tapped the side of his head and smiled. All their voices plus yours; it’s going to get crowded in here, and I do not want them knowing things about us that they shouldn’t."

The return of his warm smile relaxed his face and the reassuring words alleviated my silly doubts. I smiled back at him before he pressed his soft lips against mine, allowing them to linger for a moment or two. I didn’t want him to stop. I wanted to stay locked in the sweet tasting happiness they sold. Instead, Boden pulled away and stretched a mischievous grin across his face with his head cocked to one side.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I giggled.

Do you fancy a ride on a wolf? His eyes glinted. We’ll get there a lot quicker.

I wrinkled my nose with hesitant excitement. Erm, okay?

Boden stepped away from me and transformed into his enormous black wolf self. He lay down on the ground and waited for me to climb on. I gripped the thick fur around his neck and braced myself as I waited for him to rise up and move. Boden began with a slow canter to reassure me before he accelerated until we were flying at great speed across the carpet of open fields leading us through into the crowded woodlands.

Once we were inside the forest the trees compacted together squeezing out the beams of sunshine, yet Boden managed to swerve and dodge the obstacles with mystical ease in spite of his fast pace. When it became too much of a white-knuckle ride with the barrage of trees firing past us like bullets, I clung on to him with a tighter grip and succumbed to my urge to bury my head in his thick warm fur. The sensation of sinking into the softest duvet enveloped me whilst his fur somehow intensified his intoxicating smoky leather scent. The compulsion to nuzzle my head deeper overpowered me. I drowned in his addictive fragrance and hadn’t even noticed we’d arrived at the camp, until Boden ruffled his coat to awaken me.

The picturesque scenery surrounding the pack’s camp astounded me. Pea green grass littered with blood red peonies blanketed the ground. Dense forest framed the outskirts of the camp except for the far side where a sparkling stream ran along the foot of a snow-topped mountain. Notes of smoky wood wafted through the air around us, originating from the large fire pit that sat in the centre of the arresting camp and I counted several wooden lodges propped up on short stilts scattered in an unpredictable pattern across the site. It seemed to be a hidden unspoiled haven.

In my imagination I had expected to see numerous wolves wandering around, yet as we stood on the edge of the boundary taking in our new surroundings, the camp remained eerily still and empty. It wasn’t until the Chief, who had found us yesterday inside Boden’s remote Black Forest castle, strolled over to greet us that there was any sign of life. Boden clutched my hand on his approach.

Boden, Summer. Thank you for coming. The Chief struggled to sound both welcoming and hide the desperation that ricocheted through his deep gruff voice.

I glanced up to Boden whose expression froze with an added distant look in his eyes. The Chief was talking to him through his thoughts, probably showing him what had happened. I watched with concern when Boden’s forehead crumpled a little. He said nothing but he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. The Chief turned around and led the way towards the fire pit.

While we followed a few steps behind Boden leant down and whispered in my ear. The attack has been brutal . . . The Chief’s Son, Mihai, has been badly hurt. He is too injured to return to the fight just now. It didn’t escape my notice that Boden appeared to be fighting to contain a smug smile that seemed determined to stretch across his face.

Mihai? I clarified. The story of Boden’s parents seemed like a dark fairytale at the time he told me but now the thought of Mihai here amongst us brought it to life with sudden terrifying reality.

"Yes. It is a terrible blow for them because he’s their best warrior, the alpha warrior wolf. They’ve had to retreat so that they can heal and recoup, but they fear there isn’t much time before the vampires find them here and if they do, in their present state, they’ll be unable to hold them off because of their numbers. A few of the younger wolves are patrolling the boundaries and keeping a look out." Boden continued in a low whisper.

I shuddered with fear, the word ‘Vampires’ triggered a flashback of Ben’s nefarious face. Boden released my hand and put his arm around my shoulders whilst the Chief led us up a ladder into one of the wooden lodges.

Inside the lodge, the walls were bare and sawdust lined the floor. A dim lantern flickered in the corner on a table and across to the other side a man lay naked on a makeshift bed of hay. His sculpted body appeared contorted, with blood and dirt staining his torn skin. We stood in the hut awkwardly observing the injured man who remained motionless, almost corpse like for several minutes before anyone spoke.

This is my son, Mihai. The Chief whispered directing a pensive glance towards Boden.

Mihai’s peaceful and almost angelic face contradicted the image of the villain I’d conjured up in my head when I’d listened to Boden’s recollection of his parents’ deaths and I found it difficult to marry this person to my villain. After several uncomfortable moments of silence, the Chief gestured for us to move outside again.

Mihai will heal soon, but not soon enough. There is very little time left. The vampires will be here soon. The pack is waiting for you to lead them to victory Boden. An air of ceremony hinted in the Chief’s words.

Boden nodded at him and turned towards me.

Summer, unfortunately there is no time to waste; the sun will set in a couple of hours. They need me now and I owe it to them to finish this, but I will be back in a couple days. I am leaving you in their protection. I wouldn’t leave you if I had any doubts. Boden’s promise sounded confident and yet his reluctance to leave me burned in his eyes.

I wanted to beg him to take me with him, but I knew he still hadn’t forgiven himself for leaving me on the night that Ben visited and it pained him to leave me again, so I kept quiet. I knew that it was something he had no choice in and the only way I could help him was not to make a fuss and let him fulfil his duty. Two days was nothing compared to the time he had waited for me. Boden leant down and placed a gentle kiss upon my forehead. I reached up and locked my arms around his neck, visualising in my mind how I wanted him to kiss me goodbye. He ignored it and pulled my arms down and held them in front of his chest.

"Save that for when I come back. I will be back soon. When I return, there will be time for that and so much more. Boden flashed his wicked smile. Go get something to eat and drink and keep warm okay? There are plenty of jumpers in the rucksack."

I nodded and gulped down the fear already starting to swell in my stomach. Boden planted a gallant kiss on the back of my hand before he walked away to transform into the gigantic wolf again. Anxious knots writhed around inside me and I knew it would be pointless to try to force any food down. Instead, I reached into the rucksack and pulled out the water bottle, taking baby sips while I watched him disappear from view.

In the distance, nine more wolves emerged; none as big as Boden and all with fur in different hues of grey that glittered in the glow from the late afternoon sun. They waited patiently for their new leader, watching him approach before he led them off through the trees.

* * * *

For the past five months, Boden and I had spent every possible waking moment together, except for a handful of rare yet insufferable occasions when we were forced apart for a few short hours. The thought of two whole days and nights without him made my heart ache and hunger for him almost instantly.

I needed to distract myself. I glanced around the wolves’ home and across to the far side. Two identical females caught my attention and I watched them play by the water’s edge for some time. I envied their apparently simplistic life unaffected by time or fear. For the wolves, vampires were the reason for their place on this earth and I assumed it must be as normal as waking up for vampires to figure in their everyday life. Yet for me, the knowledge that vampires existed in the shadows chilled me to the bone and I ignored the fact that a part of Boden belonged to those pernicious creatures too.

After a while, the sky transformed into a sea of blush and the breeze chilled the temperature. I wandered over to the fire pit for warmth where the Chief sat with another elderly man.

Ah Summer. Come sit. This is Litovoi; he is an elder of the pack. The Chief said introducing the old man to me.

I smiled at the old man who returned my smile before he rose up and strolled over to one of the other wooden lodges. I sat down and warmed my hands above the fire. I glanced across to the Chief who seemed transfixed on the dancing flames with a strained worried expression.

How many have you lost?

Four. One experienced and three young warriors. The Chief sighed and maintained his glazed stare on the fire.

Boden said that werewolves are more powerful than vampires? I probed in the hope that this would all be over very soon. Unfortunately, my own words triggered images of Boden’s description of the pack ripping his father. I clutched my arms in defence of my own imagination.

That is true . . . usually. However, there are more of them than is natural. Mostly we come across one, two, or maybe three that are together, but there are at least twenty of them, maybe more. They sought us out. It is most unusual in these parts. We have kept the peace for many years, only removing those that are a threat to the villages or us. Vampires are becoming more civilised, especially during recent times. It doesn’t make sense for them to attack us like this when we have done nothing to provoke them. The Chief shook his head, clearly unable to comprehend what was happening.

An abrupt choir of distressing howling interrupted us. I jolted in reaction to the terrifying sound.

It’s a war cry. Boden is going to finish this. The Chief reassured. Please make yourself at home here, you are safe with us. The pack will keep them away from here. Please excuse me for a moment I have matters to attend to. If you need anything just ask.

I nodded and watched the Chief stride across the field towards the females who were sat huddled near the mountain spring. Alone with my thoughts again was not a good idea so I left the warmth of the fire in search for another distraction.

I paced around the clearing attempting to kill some time and energy until I could fall asleep and dissolve a few more hours. Nervous anxiety me spurred me on. I couldn’t shift the unshakeable feeling that my presence only added to their plight at a time when they were already stretched to their limits protecting their own kind, never mind having to worry about me just to keep Boden happy. As the depth of the dark night descended I tightened my circle to avoid venturing too near the sinister forest and wandered closer to the lodges. On my third circuit I found myself outside Mihai’s hut just as his scream roared out from within it.

Vino aici. Come here! His demanded in a painfully strained voice.

I looked around me for someone else to tend to him, but there was no one else anywhere near me. Although his tone of voice frightened me, well he frightened me, I couldn’t ignore him. He sounded so desperately in pain.

Who are you? Mihai demanded through gritted teeth as soon as I stepped inside his lodge.

There was no light inside the lodge and once the door closed behind me it was like walking into a black hole, but I could hear his heavy breaths and smell the sweat and dried blood on his skin. S-Summer. Er. . .Boden brought me with him. I hurried, hoping to escape as soon as possible.

Mihai let out another scream.

What’s the matter? What do you need? I cried in despair of hearing any living thing in such excruciating pain.

Water, pass me the water. He demanded. I hesitated to move while my eyes strained to see through dark shadows. There in the corner. He directed impatiently.

I fumbled around and found the jug, not before slamming my shin into something hard, but suppressed my feeble yelp. I then felt around for the cup and somehow managed to pour some water into it. I stumbled over towards the sound of Mihai’s laboured breaths and held the cup out for him to take, hoping that he had supernatural eyesight..

I can’t move my arms you stupid girl. You need to put it to my mouth. Mihai growled.

His commanding voice coupled with the hint of a Romanian accent made Mihai sound almost majestic, and a little rude. Shocked, I crouched on the floor next to him. I felt my way along the bed and slipped one of my arms under his head to lift it a little. I tried to judge where his mouth was and placed the cup in front of his lips, slowly tipping the water into his mouth.

While he sipped from the cup, he opened his eyes. I couldn’t avoid looking down into them; they were the most dazzling emerald green and glowed like cats eyes in a dark road. Mulţumesc . . . Thank you. He replied in a gruff voice that sounded similar to his father’s.

Despite his obvious disablement, his boldness scared me and Boden’s disdain for him lurked at the back of my mind. After I placed the cup on the floor, I attempted to leave.

Don’t go. Stay. Mihai called out before I could reach the door. There is a lamp to your left, twist the key at its base and it will glow. He coughed. I’m sorry I was rude. It’s just the pain, as I heal . . . it is agonising.

The lamp glowed as he said it would and I could see him forcing a smile while he fought the pain searing through his broken body. Mihai seemed to be making an effort to be friendlier. Curiosity flickered inside me.

The dim glow of the lamp also revealed his lack of insulation, which surprised me. I had a winter coat, jumper and two t-shirts on yet the cold still managed to slice through all my layers.

Is there something else you need? I offered taking pity on him.

Just someone to distract me from the pain. . . Mihai grinned with an audacious glint in his emerald eyes. So . . . Boden has a human girlfriend? How interesting. He is quite determined to continue the mongrel line isn’t he?

You don’t like him do you. I defended from across the room making clear my position.

No. No I don’t. Nevertheless, I understand why my father would request his help. It is intriguing that he chose to help us when he lived with a vampire all those years. Very interesting. While Mihai mused, his voice grew stronger and smoother with each word he spoke.

Mihai’s lack of gratitude upset me. He is a good person. He’s come all this way to help you.

Ah yes, you’re right so he has. I’m sorry . . . Enough about the mongrel, what about you? How does a beautiful young human girl get mixed up with Boden Phelan? Mihai probed in an excited and playful tone.

I blushed and was thankful for the dim light. To be honest he found me.

"Oh yes I remember now-Samsara. He was lucky." Mihai chuckled appraising me before coughing and spluttering as he twisted his body on to its side.

I stared at him in shock and dropped my arms. A moment ago, he couldn’t even lift his arm to take a drink of water. Yet now he lay on his side, supported by his arm.

Oh. Mihai responded glancing down at himself after reading my shocked expression. I am healing, we heal very fast. Didn’t Boden explain that to you? My spine has realigned itself now. See? Mihai waved his hand along his body. It no longer looked twisted or shredded but suddenly very . . .hot . . . very naked. I blushed again.

I’ve got the feeling back in my arms and legs. I told you all I needed was someone to distract me. Please sit down here next to me. You look uncomfortable and cold. I’m . . . hot-blooded. We project a lot of heat. Mihai winked and pulled a blanket across his middle.

I should have refused, turned around and left, but he intrigued me, so I didn’t. I argued with myself that it wouldn’t hurt to stay for a few more minutes. I moved hesitantly over to the bed and sat on the floor next to it, resting my back against the wall.

Don’t you have a wife or girlfriend to help you? I quizzed.

Mihai’s eyes seemed thoughtful. No. No wife, no mate.

Surely you have the pick of the pack, isn’t that how it works with this type of thing? I pressed further.

Sort of, but . . . There’s been no one since. . . Mihai paused for a moment. Not for a long time. He hurried. My father wants me to settle down, and produce an heir, the usual thing. But, there’s been nobody . . . for a long, long time. A quiet sadness echoed in his tone. . . . . What about you? I want to hear about you. Tell me about being you? It’s been many years since I’ve spent any time with a human girl. Mihai smiled.

Although he tried to hide it with flirtatious gestures, his loneliness burned from every pore and flamed my curiosity further. I’m quite boring really, especially compared to the life you lead. I replied, unable to think of anything that would interest an immortal werewolf.

I don’t believe that. You are Boden’s obsession. Your death sent him to us in search of an execution. He dismissed my self-depreciation with a chuckle.

I grimaced. I hated the thought of Boden in pain, and the possibility that if he hadn’t been so impenetrable, he would have died because of me.

Okay, well . . . don’t say I didn’t warn you. I teased and edged closer to Mihai to absorb some of the warmth he seemed to project.

Once I started talking, I couldn’t shut up. My initial embarrassment quickly dissolved and I relaxed into opening up to him about things I had not spoken to anyone about. Without realising it, I stumbled on to Ben, someone who I had been unable to speak about since the funerals three months ago. Pangs of guilt from my memories stabbed in my stomach. My life with Ben, before Boden, seemed like a parallel lifetime.

You probably think I was really selfish. I cringed after I’d retold the tale of my friendship with Ben and our subsequent ill-fated marriage. I wished I had not been quite so open and honest.

Mihai smiled. I think the opposite; I think you prefer to believe you were selfish. Your intentions were pure. Could you say the same about his? You were vulnerable after the sudden loss of your parents in the car crash, and you were only seventeen. Ben was your best friend. He shouldn’t have pushed you. You can’t force a love that isn’t meant to be. Your destiny lays elsewhere.

But it caused a chain reaction of events that ended so badly. If I hadn’t been selfish and tricked Ben into coming back to me, then perhaps none of this would have happened. I disagreed.

Golden wisps of hair fell across Mihai’s face as he gently shook his head. You can’t change destiny Summer. Everything happens for a reason, although that reason may not reveal itself at first, your journey and the obstacles you must endure are predetermined. Mihai paused with thought for a moment. Now you have Boden, who is strongly linked with your destiny both in your former life and this one. It is fascinating. Samsara is extremely rare, especially to materialise with such a strong bond. I am interested to understand what recollection you have of him and your past life. How did you find each other?

* * * *

Chapter 2: Dark Angel

Five months earlier

IN THE MONTHS since my break-up with Ben, I purposely led a muted social life, choosing to avoid any situations that could lead us to cross paths and become involved in another heated confrontation and I certainly hadn’t given a fleeting thought about meeting anyone else either. Yet on a stifling hot Friday when customers eluded the store where I worked, it was whilst I watched the time drag on like an endless bad dream that I first saw my dark angel.

At the time I had been desperate to encourage the time to move a little quicker towards lunch by using the passersby as a distraction through concocting ridiculous lives for them to lead.

My eyes soon discovered a man with raven hair facing the shop and leaning against a lamppost across the street. All of a sudden, he seemed to be the most obvious person in the street, yet I had not noticed him until that moment. He hid his eyes under dark sunglasses and therefore I couldn’t be sure which direction his eyes fell, but mine were transfixed on him. His imposing appearance left the rest of the strangers occupying the street fading into a blur around him. I leaned closer into the window to absorb every detail of him and it was then that it occurred to me that he resembled a dark angel from classical paintings; too perfectly formed with a majestic confidence and brooding expression. I half expected a pair of wings to unfold from behind him.

Ow! I yelped startled by my nose bumping into the window pane, which brought me back to reality with a painful bump.

The blood surged to my cheeks. In an attempt to regain my composure, I turned my back to the window and rubbed my nose to soothe the immediate pain. I moved away from the window and walked around to the counter in as casual a manner as I could manage. However, I could not resist capturing one final gaze at him. I lifted my eyes up, slowly, attempting to be subtle, positioning them in his direction.

Damn it. I whispered to myself.

The lamppost stood lonely. He disappeared. I rushed back over to the window hoping to see which direction he may have headed but the Dark Angel had vanished. Without a trace.

Maybe he did sprout wings and fly off. I muttered in disappointment.

* * * *

Lauryn bounded into the shop just as lunchtime crawled into view. She had taken the morning off to go shopping for her first holiday with her boyfriend Gabriel.

Look, look what I bought, aren’t they gorgeous! She shrilled and bounced up and down holding up two new bikinis in her hands; One bright pink with white polka dots, and the other a barely there black ensemble.

Gorgeous. I smiled instantly infected by her permanent state of happiness.

Been busy? Lauryn enquired as she hid her shopping under the counter.

No. Not at all. . . I sighed and flashed a fleeting look that gave a hint of something more to tell.

What? What happened Summer, what are you itching to tell me? She replied playing along with me.

Well . . .

Go on go on, don’t keep me in suspense. Lauryn persisted with excitement.

Well, I got bored of sorting through the new stock, and . . .

Yes, yes?

"Well . . . I noticed this guy standing across the street, he was wearing sunglasses, so