Museum Piece and Other Stories

By Linda Hull

A collection of short stories that will keep you laughing and the pages turning. These are nine humorous journeys through an imagination that is wild and wonderful. Dogs might talk, love connections might be made, jambalaya could be tasted... and there just may be a zombie somewhere.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Linda Hull
• Release date: Sep 2, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301199341

Linda Hull

Linda Hull grew up in Miami, Florida, spending much of her time playing with her imaginary friends. As an adult, she moved to Central Florida and graduated from Rollins College where she was inspired to write down her imaginary exploits with the hope of turning them into a lucrative career.

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Museum Piece and Other Stories

By Linda Hull

SMASHWORDS EDITION

*****

Published by Linda Hull at Smashwords

Museum Piece and Other Stories

Copyright © 2013 Linda Hull

Smashwords Edition License Notes

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Table of Contents

Foreword

Museum Piece

My Name is Luther

One of Those Days

Cats and Dogs

White Water

The Princess

The Prince

The Ice Cream Man

Lunch

Foreword

I didn't get to marry Mel Gibson. In hindsight, this is probably for the best, but as a young woman in the 1980’s, that was just one in a long series of crushing disappointments I had to deal with in my life. I didn't get to drink from coconut shells on the island with Gilligan, Mary Ann and the rest. I didn't get to hang out after school with the Brady kids. I never piloted the Enterprise with Captains Kirk or Picard. I never swam in the lagoon with Flipper. Benji was not my dog.

I blamed my parents. If they hadn't decided to move to Florida two years before I was born (just in time for front row seats to the Cuban missile crisis), I am sure my life would have turned out differently. I've heard all of the justifications: the railroads my father worked for were shutting down in Pennsylvania; my mother's parents lived in Florida, and the most ridiculous one of all: the weather is so much nicer here. Those pretty lame excuses for bringing a child into a flat, humid, sub-tropical wilderness that bears the nickname The Lightning Capital of the World, and where alligators roam the streets, two pound mangoes fall from trees without warning and roaches grow two inches long and can fly. As a native Floridian, I didn't even know until I was a teenager that normal roaches can't fly. I didn't know that normal grasshoppers don't grow to the size of parakeets or that when all of the leaves fall off of a tree it doesn't necessarily mean that it's dead.

I knew nothing about seasons. Spring, summer, winter, fall - in Miami we had wet and dry. From April to .mid-November Miami is a suffocating swamp at a steady 95 degrees with 85% humidity. It rains every day from 2:15 to 3:30, and then the sun comes out and creates a sauna as the rain rises back from the pavement in clouds of steam. Grass grows half an inch a day, mosquitoes swarm and mildew forms on everything that doesn't move including napping dogs and cats. When winter comes around November 15th, the temperature plunges to 70 degrees and all of the grass dies. The temperature stays at 70 until the