Intoxicated

By Alicia Renee Kline

Intoxicated

A full length novel of over 100,000 words...

When everything she ever wanted turns out not to be enough...

Lauren Jefferies is on the verge of having it all. Hard work and determination have culminated in a promotion that promises to put her on track with her upwardly mobile boyfriend Eric. High school sweethearts and together for ten years, they are young enough to have their whole lives ahead of them, but old enough to have established themselves as forces to be reckoned with.

The news should be cause for celebration.

But taking the job means moving two hours away.

Instead of planning their reign as an up and coming power couple, they find their already tenuous relationship further damaged by their conflicting opinions. Eric doesn’t want her to leave. Lauren refuses to back down. In the end, she packs her things and heads up north to her new life, the abstract promise of figuring this all out later hanging between them.

Lauren settles into her new routine quite easily, thanks largely in part to her fast friendship with her roommate Blake. Blake’s companionship comes in a package deal with that of her older brother Matthew. One night over dinner, an innocent conversation leads to the discovery that the three of them have more in common than they’d ever imagined.

Ashamed of his role in the thread that ties them together, Matthew begins to withdraw. As Lauren devises a game plan to ease his torment, Eric inadvertently pushes them together with his selfish actions.

Lauren’s relationship with Eric continues to flounder. The distance is an issue, but Eric’s indifference does nothing to help. Every bright spot in their courtship is countered by darkness and bitterness. More often than not, Matthew is there to pick up the pieces that Eric leaves behind.

Prior to meeting Matthew, Lauren thought she knew what she wanted. Now that she’s just about to obtain everything on her list, she’s left to question if she ever really knew what that was.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Alicia Renee Kline
• Release date: Feb 25, 2013
• ISBN: 9781301085767

Alicia Renee Kline

Alicia Renee Kline has been writing for as long as she can remember. Her work has evolved from scrawling story ideas in spiral notebooks in loopy, middle school handwriting (complete with scribbles) to more professional looking fare via her laptop. She is eternally grateful for the "delete" key, so that no one can tell that she doesn't get everything right the first time.She resides in Northeastern Indiana with her husband, two daughters, two cats and two hamsters. When she isn't being an author, she works full time in the insurance industry.

Book preview

Prologue

So you are really going ahead with the roommate thing? Matthew’s voice crackled over the telephone.

Blake wasn’t sure if her brother’s words were garbled due to her faulty cell reception or if they were laced with emotion. She had, of course, announced with a flourish approximately six months ago that it had been the appropriate time in her life to purchase her own place. Up until then, they had been roommates themselves. But her wildly independent streak as well as a buyer’s market had persuaded her to take the leap into homeownership. That and the fact that Matthew was still best friends with her ex.

She just never expected to feel so alone.

Yes, I guess I am, she replied as she paced her floor.

And you’re sure about this? he pressed.

Blake sighed. No, not really. But posting a room for rent online and actually having someone sign a lease for it were two entirely different things. So what if someone was coming to look at the place tomorrow morning? If things didn’t feel right, she could always lie and say that she had been fielding a lot of calls and that, unfortunately, she had chosen someone else.

You’re not having money problems, are you? he continued.

No, she responded quickly. Now that had upset her a little bit.

Just be careful. Matthew warned.

Despite herself, Blake chuckled. If anyone should be giving that advice, it should be the other way around. Matthew’s indiscretions had been the whole reason that they themselves had been roommates. Although it had been a terrible, uncomfortable time in both their lives, it had been the beginning of their beautiful friendship. There was no one else that she trusted as wholly and completely as her brother. Their past had forced them to lean on each other in a way she never would have imagined when she was younger, and they had ended up on the other side as better people for it.

Matthew either chose to ignore the giggle or he found the irony in the situation. There was silence on the other end of the line until Blake whispered her response.

Always am.

Chapter One

Don’t worry, Lauren, Gracie said, he’ll come around.

I twirled my straw in my Coke and stared blankly as the ice cubes hit the sides of my glass. I hoped her words were true. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gracie rise from the booth. My gaze followed her as she stood. Apparently, the pep talk was over.

And for goodness sakes, enjoy your party.

Or not.

She latched on to my shoulder as she brushed past, partly in support of my situation, mostly in support of her own body weight. She teetered unsteadily on her platform boots and let out what could be best described as an intoxicated giggle. I watched as she made her way to the restroom toward the back of the restaurant, stifling a laugh of my own as she attempted to open the ladies’ room door by pushing rather than pulling.

Ah, yes, this was my party.

I glanced around at the large booth our group occupied. The familiar faces of coworkers surrounded me. There had been a good turnout; by my count, twenty people had at least stopped in to say goodbye. Ten of those twenty still remained, even now, two hours after the official meeting time.

Invariably when someone decided to leave the bank, another employee would take it upon themselves to organize a get-together, usually held at the Mexican restaurant a mile down the road from our branch. For some, it was a good excuse to gorge on chips, salsa and margaritas. For others, it was truly an opportunity to celebrate the guest of honor’s new job or retirement and to say farewell. Whatever the case that brought all these people here, to think they were gathered because of me was surreal.

Neither one of the usual scenarios pertained to me. At twenty-six, I wasn’t anywhere close to retirement, at least not without a winning lottery ticket in hand. And I wasn’t quitting. I had garnered a promotion.

I started at the bank right out of college. Armed with my shiny new accounting degree, I had landed a position at the local branch underwriting mortgage loans. My attention to detail – some would call it anal-retentiveness – got me noticed by our corporate office. After five years of employment there, I had been offered the job.

Director of Underwriting, Mortgage Lending.

The title alone had a nice ring to it. The thought of actually having a staff at my beck and call was enticing. The increase in salary was definitely attractive. The location, not so much. Corporate was about two hours north of here, and I would have to relocate. That was really the only thing that had given me pause.

Being considerate of the circumstances, my current boss had instructed me to take a couple days to think it over, pray about it, do whatever I needed to do. In my heart of hearts, I had known what my answer would be, but I was still relieved that I had a moment to mull things over. That night, I had made two phone calls.

My father had been ecstatic.

Eric, well, things had not gone so swimmingly with him.

Gracie staggered back to the table. She fell onto the seat of the booth, the cushion protesting with a squeak beneath her. This was apparently the funniest thing that had ever happened to her. Her convulsive laughter brought all other conversation at the table to a halt.

Maybe time for someone to go home? Mary from Consumer Loans suggested.

I’m on it. I set down my Coke and went to grab my purse. Come on, Gracie, let’s get you to bed.

Oh, Lauren, Stacy, the receptionist, protested, it’s not fair that you have to leave your own party early. One of us can drive her home.

But it’s tradition, Mary chimed in, Gracie always drinks too much, and Lauren is her designated driver.

Oh, no, Stacy snorted, did they include that in the job description for your replacement?

Gracie still had enough sobriety left in her to shoot both Mary and Stacy a dirty look. Shut up.

I stood to go and Gracie followed suit. She was pretty wobbly. She leaned against the wall as I said my goodbyes, thanking each person for coming and accepting their well wishes. As I made the rounds, my eyes welled up with tears.

This was really happening. Come Monday morning, the rest of the people at this table would go back to work like they always did. My desk would be sitting empty. No manila file folders stacked up on the desktop, their contents spilling over onto my keyboard.

Pushing the melodramatic to the far recesses of my brain, I took Gracie’s arm and escorted her out of the restaurant. Considering that she towered over me, especially in those shoes, this was no small feat.

The cool evening air greeted us as we spilled out onto the sidewalk. We continued across the parking lot to my awaiting car. I unlocked Gracie’s door first and helped her inside. As I rounded the car and unlocked my own door, I realized that it was as if we were on some sort of a strange date. I was being rather chivalrous.

I’m not tired, Lauren, Gracie whined as I assumed the driver’s seat. I don’t want to go to bed yet. I want to help you with your problems.

Oh, Gracie, I laughed, I might be beyond help at this point.

We drove in an easy silence back to her apartment. I pulled my car into the carport beside her sedan and shut off the ignition. She made no move to get out of my car. Upon closer inspection, I realized that her eyes were closed.

Gracie?

She jumped. I’m awake, I promise. You want to come up?

I checked my cell phone before answering. It was only nine. Sure, why not?

The short nap had done Gracie wonders. That coupled with a fresh pot of coffee might actually transform her into a worthy confidant. With renewed energy, she exited the car. I followed behind her, realizing as I threw my purse over my shoulder that my cell phone remained in the center console. Briefly, I considered running back to get it, but decided not to. No one would be calling me at this hour. I had just spoken with my dad prior to the party, I was with my best friend right now and Eric was on some sort of random business trip in some location I was sure he had mentioned at some point during chewing me out.

Gracie kicked off her boots as soon as she made it through the threshold. She set her housekeys on the table beside the door with a loud clunk, then landed on the couch with a flourish. I continued on to the kitchen to make said coffee. Moving around the small space as if it was my own, I set to work opening cabinets and grabbing mugs.

As the coffee brewed, I leaned over the breakfast bar. From here, I could view the entire apartment. Gracie’s bedroom was at the end of the hall, right next to the bathroom. The place itself was bland, walls covered in typical renter’s off white. Even though the whole of the place was no more than five or six hundred square feet, it seemed cavernous in comparison with my studio apartment. What made it feel like home were the small finishing touches Gracie had managed to add with her meager bank teller’s wage.

One of those finishing touches, a throw pillow in the shape of a question mark, whizzed past my head.

Penny for your thoughts.

I poured the now finished coffee into the mugs and carried them over to the sofa, where I sat down next to her. She took the mug that I offered, closing her eyes as she tasted the first sip.

I sighed, not sure where to begin.

He’s probably just upset because I am leaving town.

For the majority of our relationship Eric and I had been, in one way or another, apart. We began dating when we were both sixteen. When it had been time to go to college, we had settled on different universities. This led to lots of long distance phone calls, internet chatting and romantic reunions during breaks. After graduation, instead of finally being in the same place at the same time, he had gotten scooped up by a life insurance carrier to be their sales rep. Even though he was stationed out of their Indianapolis office, the majority of the time he wasn’t anywhere nearby.

It had been a complete shock when he expressed his distaste at my promotion.

That’s bull and you know it. Gracie set down her coffee cup on the table in front of us. She tucked an errant strand of black hair behind her ear and stared at me. He feels threatened.

Threatened? Maybe, just maybe, he was.

Chapter Two

There were four missed calls and three voice mails on my cell when I returned to the car after midnight. I didn’t need to guess who they were from. I closed my eyes momentarily, attempting to give myself the strength to deal with him. Knowing resistance was futile, I pressed the speed dial button before listening to any of the messages.

You didn’t answer your phone, Eric said in lieu of a greeting.

I’m sorry.

The apology slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop it. More of a trained response, learned from ten years’ experience. Honestly, I wasn’t sorry.

Where are you? he asked, his voice softening.

Just leaving Gracie’s place. What hotel are you at?

It’s a small place. Relatively local. You might say the atmosphere leaves a little to be desired. Lots of moving boxes at the moment.

You’re at my place?

My anger melted away at the thought of him lounged on my couch, his feet propped on the coffee table. He rarely came to my place. Granted, it was tiny and not in the best neighborhood, but it was my home. He must have been overcome with guilt to make the trek from his downtown high rise.

Maybe.

I’ll be home in fifteen.

See you then.

I pressed the end key and tossed the phone over to the passenger seat. Traffic was light for a Friday night, and I made good time back to my complex. Sure enough, Eric’s BMW was parked in my guest spot. His car seemed to smirk at my very used Honda Accord.

The two certainly didn’t belong together.

Eric had been campaigning for quite some time for me to get something new. However, I liked not being a slave to a car payment as much as I enjoyed not being strapped for cash due to high rent. So that explained why I was here, driving what I did. Who cared about appearances? My bank account was the one laughing.

Humming, I smiled to myself as I bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I could hardly contain myself. Eric was here, in the flesh. I tried to remember the last time we had been in the same time zone. Two weeks?

My front door was unlocked. Eric’s six foot two inch frame was folded over the tiny loveseat like an adult sitting on a toddler’s chair. He was still dressed for work, his suit jacket slung over the back of the couch. He grabbed the remote and turned off my small television set as I entered.

Hey, I greeted.

He stood, and we met midway. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his embrace. What was left of my resolve melted into a puddle at his feet.

I missed you, I whispered.

He pressed his finger against my lips to silence me and led me to the couch. As we sunk to the cushion, he replaced his finger with his own lips. Once the hello kiss had been completed, he leaned back against the sofa, his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

I missed you too.

How long have you been here? I was hesitant to ask, but curiosity won out.

He drew in a deep breath prior to answering. A couple hours.

Damn. That meant that while I was pouring my heart out to Gracie about how insensitive he was, he was sitting in my empty apartment waiting for me. No wonder he had called so many times. I scolded myself, ashamed that I could be so irresponsible.

I’m sorry, I said again. This time I meant it. I had no idea that you would be home tonight.

My last meeting today got cancelled. I took an earlier flight. I wanted to surprise you when you got home from your party. I didn’t think you would be out so late.

Well, you accomplished a surprise.

I thought about crashing your party, but I figured that would be rude.

The truthfulness in that statement was questionable. I doubted the thought had crossed his mind.

You could have come. I’m sure everyone would have been happy to see you.

Another false sentiment. After the last couple days, Gracie would have been ready to gouge his eyes out.

I rested my head against him and closed my eyes. It had been a long, emotional day and everything was finally catching up with me. I swallowed a yawn, embarrassed.

Tired?

A little. I have to get up in the morning and go look at a room to rent.

He shifted his weight, causing me to sit up on my own accord. His eyes traveled across the expanse of my apartment, taking in the moving boxes that lined the walls. My place had never been worthy of a spread in a decorating magazine, but now it was uncomfortably void of any personality. With my furnished apartment, there was little preparation that needed to be done in order to move. In fact, everything that I didn’t immediately need had already been packed away. When I was ready to go, I really only needed to box up a dresser’s worth of clothing, my bathroom stuff and the few dishes that remained in the cabinet.

You don’t have to do this, he breathed.

Do what?

Leave. He took my hands in both of his.

I sighed. Eric, I kind of do. I’ve already accepted the job. They are interviewing people to replace me here. I can’t just turn around and tell them that I was kidding. That would be like suicide. I would never get another opportunity there again.

You don’t need that job. I told you that I would take care of you.

I don’t need taken care of.

He let out a sharp, sarcastic laugh. You are doing so well on your own. I mean, everyone strives to live in a dump and drive a fifteen year old car. Congratulations.

I jerked my hands away from him, scooting over as far as I could. The gesture only separated us by a couple inches. The look in his eyes had changed, grown cold somehow. I kept my gaze fixed on his, refusing to blink as I formulated a response. My lips parted once, twice, but nothing came out.

Eric took that as his cue to continue. Straight out of his book of tricks, he was using some patented technique to close his sale. I could give you everything you ever wanted. Every little wish you ever had could come true. And you walk away from me. For what? To prove some point?

That I don’t need to be in debt up to my eyeballs in order to be happy?

I am not.

Way to sound like a ten-year-old, Eric.

I stood up with a flourish, crossing the apartment in a matter of steps. My frustrated fingers raked through my cropped brunette hair as I paced in front of the window. Eric also rose to his feet, though he lingered by the couch, allowing me my space. I walked back and forth, concentrating on my feet, the threadbare carpet, anywhere but him. I knew I still had the floor. I needed to choose my next words wisely and make the most of it.

If you are so willing to give me everything that I want, then you will allow me to do this. For years I have stood by and let you make decisions for us. I never argued with your choices. You wanted to go away to school while I stayed here? Fine. You wanted to take a job that makes you travel ninety percent of the time? Fine. Are you sensing a pattern here?

I paused, letting my words absorb. He offered no rebuttal.

Why does every major decision you make involve leaving me?

Now I turned to face him, meeting his stare. Eric winced.

It’s not like that, Lauren.

It’s exactly like that. And the one time I ask you for something, the one time I make a decision for myself, you go off the deep end.

Lauren, he repeated, moving closer.

I thrust my palm out, effectively cutting him down. No. If you want to leave me so much, then do it. Get out.

He looked as though I had struck him. We stood for a moment, wordless, stonefaced. He broke the staring contest first, reaching down to grab his pinstriped jacket. He slung the garment over his shoulder, then spun on his heel.

For the first time in recent memory, he did what I instructed.

The door slammed behind him, punctuating his retreat.

Chapter Three

Morning came way too early as far as I was concerned. I laid in bed for a couple minutes after the alarm on my cell sounded, snuggling against the comforter. Sunlight poured through the window, casting its warm glow over the apartment. Everything pointed to it being a wonderful day for a drive. A beautiful day to begin a new adventure.

Yawning, I threw back the bedspread and swung my feet to the floor. I padded past the boxes that held most of my kitchenware in my bare feet on my way to the coffeemaker. I still had about an hour to get ready before I needed to leave.

The appointment to look at my potential new home was thankfully not until one in the afternoon. That had been good thinking on my part. Of course, when I had answered the ad online, I had no way of knowing how the previous night would have ended up unfolding. I had been thinking more logically at that moment. Never a real early riser on the weekends, I didn’t expect myself to spring out of bed for a two hour drive to Fort Wayne, no matter how good a deal the rent seemed. Fortunately, my potential landlord hadn’t balked at my suggested time. In fact, she’d also seemed relieved.

As I drank my coffee, I studied the map I had printed out at work. I smoothed the creases out of the paper and committed as much as possible to memory. The route seemed easy enough, if rather boring. I really didn’t need direction until I reached my exit. Before today, Fort Wayne hadn’t been a destination spot; merely a pass-through on the way to Michigan.

True to form, I had done my due diligence prior to selecting an area of the city in which to look for rentals. I had mapped the location of my new office, looking in a radius of about ten miles either way. This would make for a reasonable commute. I had searched for information on demographics, school systems and property values. My research had led me to select the southwest side of the city. Of course, I checked into apartment complexes, finding several worthy contenders. If today didn’t go well, those would be my back-up plan.

I had been inexplicably drawn to an online posting seeking a female to rent a room. Normally I would have passed, preferring something of my own. However, it seemed like an opportunity to find a comrade in a new place. We didn’t have to end up best friends, but if we could tolerate each other it would be helpful to have someone local around until I gathered my bearings. I didn’t want to depend on maps or GPS for an extended period of time.

With a cup of coffee in me, I was motivated enough to hop in the shower. I let the water trickle over me until it ran cold, closing my eyes. Relaxed, I wrapped myself in my plush bathrobe and set to work picking out my clothes. For whatever reason, I wanted to take time with my appearance today. Probably something to do with the fact that I didn’t want to make a bad first impression.

I settled on my favorite pair of jeans and a tight, long sleeved black and white striped cotton shirt. A fairly classic look: stylish, but not trying too hard. Plus, it wouldn’t wrinkle too badly during the drive and end up looking like I had slept in it. I slipped on my worn black boots and set to work on hair and makeup.

As I blow-dried my short, choppy cut I smiled to myself. Eric hated my hair. I loved it. All throughout high school I had worn my hair past my shoulders, nearly to my waist. During college I had cut it all off on a whim. When he had first seen it, the disappointment in his eyes was apparent. Since then, it had always been various lengths of short, though it never again reached my shoulders.

Quite contrary to the usual stereotype of an accounting major, I was fascinated by hair and makeup. If I hadn’t have been on the fast track to graduating with honors, I might have considered beauty school instead of traditional college. Unfortunately, I had been too concerned with what other people thought to choose my own destiny. Smart people weren’t supposed to be creative, right?

So I lived vicariously through experimentation on myself with various beauty products. My arsenal of hair care items and makeup would rival that of a professional. Getting ready in the morning for me was a release. It was pretty fun.

Today, I settled for my favorite look: an understated smoky eye with pale lips. Framed by my dark tousled locks, I was a friendlier version of Goth. A little dark and mysterious, though not unapproachable. My short gray nails completed the look. Perfect.

Here goes nothing, I whispered to myself as I grabbed my map and purse and headed out the door.

Nervousness entered my stomach as I climbed into the Honda and started it up. I took a deep breath and clutched the steering wheel, trying to will it away. What if this didn’t work out? I shook my head, reminding myself of the back-up plan. No matter what happened, I would be okay.

My new job didn’t start for another two weeks. I had cashed in vacation time so that I could give myself ample opportunity to search for a new residence and tie up loose ends in Indy. Hopefully, I could get everything accomplished quickly and have some free time as well. I had no indication of when I would be able to sneak away and take time off again, so I wanted to enjoy the freedom while I could.

As expected, the weather was perfect for a drive. I cranked up the CD player and sang along as I cruised down the interstate. My singing left much to be desired, but it kept my mind in the present and off of what I was leaving behind.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t upset at the argument that had occurred between myself and Eric hours before. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. He played recklessly with my emotions and typically got what he wanted as a result. I was sick of it.

Gracie would be proud of me and how I had stood up to him. I made a note to give her a call tonight and recap the fight. Though it had been brief, and I was sure we would kiss and make up later, for now it was liberating. I still hadn’t heard a peep out of him since he left. He was probably licking his wounds. I vowed not to make the first contact. It would be his turn to come crawling back with an apology. I deserved that much, bare minimum.

Traffic was light and I made excellent time to my exit. I pulled off the interstate, glancing at the clock on the dashboard. Thirty minutes until my appointment. Per the directions on the printout, my destination was about ten minutes away. Just enough time to do a little exploring and still be punctual.

I had choices. Turning right at the light would take me to my new office and the downtown area. Left would lead to my potential rental home and who knew what else. I signaled left, deciding to get a feel for the neighborhood.

The usual fast food places and retail storefronts greeted me immediately past the interstate. Very typical and expected. A drugstore, a grocery store, two gas stations-one on each side of the road, surely for convenience. Nice. As a life-long city girl, this I appreciated.

I continued driving. Once I drove through the next light, the landscape quickly changed from retail to residential. Housing additions surrounded me. As I drove further, the houses on either side appeared to me to get even more spacious and impressive. I wondered what the house that I was going to view looked like. I realized I had no idea.

I had committed the remainder of the driving directions to heart. I quickly found the street that I was to turn on and continued in the path that the mapping program had spelled out. The addition that I turned into was marked by two large brick signs on either side of the entrance, proudly displaying the community name. I let out a sigh of relief as I realized that though the neighborhood was decidedly middle to upper-middle class, I doubted that anyone would look down their nose at my car and tell me I didn’t belong. No gates or security guards here. Just lot after lot of homes that practically screamed pride of ownership.

Once I pulled in, I slowed the car to a stop and consulted my map for the exact address. The home wasn’t on the main street that led into the addition, and I had to make a series of turns that I would have problems remembering later. I would probably get turned around and hopelessly lost on my way back out of here. I wasn’t used to living in the suburbs, that was for sure.

The home was nestled on a cul-de-sac lot toward the back of the addition. It, like all the others, was well-maintained on the outside and impeccably landscaped. It appeared from a quick onceover to be a one and a half story, probably with a loft on the second floor. The siding was a soft yellow, the trim a crisp white. I smiled just looking at it.

I parked the Honda in the driveway, wondering briefly if I would be allowed one of the spots in the two car garage. Nothing like getting ahead of myself. I grabbed my purse, my list of references and my confidence and exited the vehicle. I was about ten minutes early. Hopefully not a problem.

I strode up the winding sidewalk to the front porch, then rang the doorbell. I heard the happy melody of the chimes inside the home announce my presence. Seconds later, the deadbolt lock clicked open. The lock on the actual doorknob followed suit, and the front door opened.

Damn it, the blonde on the other side of the door whispered under her breath.

Excuse me? My voice came out hesitantly. I checked the house number on the front of the home one more time. Maybe I had knocked on the wrong door. I was here about renting the room listed on the internet. Have I made a mistake?

The blonde raised her gaze from the tile foyer to my face. Her expression was contorted in an uncomfortable position. It appeared she was possibly squinting. It was hard to tell.

No, no mistake, she said louder this time, more cheerfully, you must be Lauren.

I nodded.

I’m Blake. Nice to meet you.

She extended her hand and I shook it politely. Once my hand returned to my side, I waited expectantly for her to invite me in. Instead, Blake returned to scanning the floor.

Nice to meet you, too. My inflection made it sound more like a question than a statement.

I just lost my contact lens, she offered in explanation, right as I answered the door. It has to be around here somewhere.

Oh, I responded with relief, let me help you look for it.

We spent the next couple minutes crouched down, searching for the missing contact. Blake was inside the home; I remained on the porch, craning my neck and attempting to look just over the threshold. Triumphantly, Blake announced its discovery and scooped it into her hand.

I’m so sorry, she apologized. She rose to her feet and invited me