Did You Say You Were Dead?

By Neal Donohue

Arthur Timber is declared officially dead by Social Security. When he discovers that the government can't correct their mistake Arthur grows hopelessly depressed.. Unable to find consolation from friends or family he finally encounters a strange bartender who confesses that being dead isn't so bad, since he, too, is dead. This one act, four scene comedy is an enjoyable romp into the absurd which we all wish to avoid.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Neal Donohue
• Release date: Nov 18, 2012
• ISBN: 9781301981649

Neal Donohue

Neal is an Air Force veteran, and has traveled the world both for the military as well as in private life. He has taught English as a Second language in both Mexico and Korea, and worked in London, Spain and Ibiza. His educational background was grounded in Kansas and still holds dear the bright memories of the State who honors John Brown. Though versed in communication, English and world history, Neal's vast and notable experience encompass the panorama of human psychology; its detailed implications as well as cultural affects. Through travels and work he has met and known American icons as varied as Muhammed Ali, Buzz Aldrin, and Eldridge Cleaver. Presently residing in Montana, he teaches public speaking, and enjoys each and every day the Lord is willing to give him.

Book preview

DID YOU SAY YOU WERE DEAD?

A ONE ACT, Four Scene Comedy

By Neal Donohue

SYNOPSIS

Arthur Timber discovers Social Security has declared him deceased, and he can no longer receive benefits. His doctor refuses to correct the mistake because of requirements demanding information on other patients. So, Arthur remains legally deceased.

He attempts to explain this to his wife but she panics, believing he really is dying. Both visit her mother, an Albanian immigrant, who couldn’t care less. Frustrated Arthur leaves for the tavern where his best friend, Sid, tries to understand but to no avail. Exhausted by Arthur's confused and depressed explanation, Sid walks out. Left in total despair, alone in the tavern, Arthur strikes up a conversation with the bartender, a mysterious fellow who explains to Arthur how lucky he is, because he too is dead--and happy about it.

CHARACTERS

(In order of appearance)

SOCIAL SECURITY—Government clerical bureaucrat.

ARTHUR—Arthur Timber, a senior citizen, discovers Social Security has declared him dead, disqualifying him from receiving his Social Security income.

DOCTOR—Arthur’s personal doctor, who refuses to help, fearing exposing his other patients to the eyes of the government.

MARTHA—Arthur's wife, whose optimism and distraction pushes Arthur into further despair.

SID—Arthur's best friend whose attempt to console him ends with frustration.

BARTENDER—Gangster who solves Arthur's problem, but at the expense of terrifying him.

JOHNNY—Bartender's hit-man.

ACT 1 – Scene One

(Arthur Timber enters the Social Security Office and is greeted by government clerk)

SOCIAL SECURITY

Good morning, sir. How may I help you?

ARTHUR

Good morning. How are you? I'm looking for the Social Security's department. I have a problem.

SOCIAL SECURITY

Yes. That would be me, or my office. Please sit down. I'll be glad to help you.

ARTHUR

Yes.