No Turning Back

By Kim Flowers

The punishment for a seventh-grade dropout runaway is probably pretty harsh, but Ash Barker doesn't care. She can’t waste time or emotions on anyone but her brother, Matt. They were placed in separate foster homes, so Ash runs away to find him. If she fails, she’s headed back to juvenile detention.

Everything is going right on schedule until two kids, Dayna and Kevin, barge into her hideout -- which just happens to be in their house. She ditches the pair fast, but can’t stop thinking about those bruised, skinny kids.

Dayna and Kevin live with abusive parents who force them to stay in their room most of the time. If they go to the authorities for help, they’ll be split up, too. Ash knows how that feels, and she goes back to help, taking the two with her. With any luck, they’ll all help each other along the way.

Meanwhile, as Matt waits for Ash, he can’t resist telling his foster brother and best friend, Jon-Allen, about the plans. They stash food, earn money, and keep watch for the night Ash appears at their bedroom window.

Ash is so happy to be reunited with Matt and to discover she’s falling in love with Dayna that, at first, she doesn’t worry about what they’ll do next. But life on the road begins to take its toll -- they have to resort to shoplifting and scavenging to survive. Ash feels a growing sense of guilt at the disaster she’s made of everyone’s lives. Can she somehow keep her newfound “family” together despite hunger and sickness? Or will she be able to find the strength to reach out for help?

• Language: English
• Publisher: JMS Books LLC
• Release date: Sep 25, 2012
• ISBN: 9781611523744

Book preview

Chapter 1: Running Away

Ash wondered what kind of punishment a seventh-grade dropout runaway would get.

She’d been on the run for two days, walking through woods and fields. Her feet and muscles ached; she told herself to stay strong and ignore the pain. She didn’t feel like a juvenile delinquent, but according to her probation officer she was. Oh well. She just wouldn’t get caught this time.

The morning was much warmer than the night had been, and she stuffed her jacket into her huge gym bag. After hours of scrambling over fallen logs and pushing through thick foliage, she reached the end of the trees she’d been walking through. Cornfields lined with tiny plants bordered both sides of a two-lane highway. Buildings and houses stood in the distance.

Ash looked at her watch. It was 3:30, so other kids would be out of school, and she needed to get a few more supplies. Her shoes squished in the damp dirt as she walked through a field toward the road.

Her heart beat faster as she approached the town. She hoped passing cars would think her blue bag was full of homework or something. She slunk into the first convenient store she saw to buy toothpaste and toilet paper, avoiding eye contact with the cashier. On the way outside she glanced at a newspaper stand and smiled at the huge print that read Clerksville Times. Right on schedule.

When she jogged across a busy intersection and turned down a side street, the rumble of traffic was replaced by the drone of lawnmowers. Somewhere an ice cream truck chimed. She lowered her head so her light-brown hair covered her face as little kids zoomed past on skateboards and bikes. Ash couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have one of their happy lives.

After an hour of walking through side streets and alleys, she decided to risk walking down a main road. She needed to ditch this town. A supermarket loomed ahead with a large group of trees behind it and Ash quickened her pace, knowing she’d found her way out.

As she walked down a row of cars in the parking lot, a beat-up, tan Ford Escort rolled up beside her. The engine sputtered.

Hey, do you need a lift?

Ash looked out of the corner of her eye. A man with sandy hair and wrinkled clothes drove the car. His hands rested loosely on the steering wheel and looked like they were smudged with grease or ink, especially his fingernails.

No, she said as her chest tightened. She walked faster, staring straight ahead.

Come on, get in. I’ll let you drive, he said.

I’m not even that old, Ash said. She clamped her mouth shut.

You’re tall for your age, huh? the man asked. I bet that means you’re more mature, too.

Ash rolled her eyes. She sauntered a few rows over to her right, ignoring the cars and people surrounding her, and headed to the store entrance. Going inside to get this man to leave her alone would probably be worth wasting a few minutes of time.

But then the car was in front of her, turning diagonally in the lane until the man stared her in the face with narrowed eyes. Ash froze.

It’ll be a lot easier for you if you just get in the car, he said. No one will believe you when I throw you in the back and say you’re my runaway daughter, Freckles.

A jolt of fear coursed through her for the first time. She squeezed between two vans and sprinted past the remaining rows of vehicles, gripping her bag with both hands. She circled the building and ran past dumpsters and through a smaller parking lot in back. The woods were just a few steps away.

Then she heard the man curse and she was on the ground, her cheek skidding across pavement, caught by her left ankle. Her bag flew into the grass; she clawed at it desperately, but the man gripped her like a vise. With a grunt, Ash flipped onto her side and kicked him in the face with her other foot. The man jerked back, pulling off her shoe, as blood gushed from his nose. Ash lunged for her bag and darted into the trees. She could hear the man yelling, but he didn’t seem to be chasing her. She ran until his cursing faded, crunching painfully on rocks and sticks with every other step. When she’d gone far enough, she sat beneath an oak tree with shaking hands.

Calm down, she muttered, breathing heavily. She took out her only other pair of shoes and shoved the unmatched one in her bag. No matter how many times she told herself to expect to meet freaks on the run, it never prepared her for when one showed up.

But Ash couldn’t sit around forever; she had to get going. She edged around trees, ducked under branches, and shoved her way through bushes and weeds. Her face was sticky with sweat. The scent of flowers filled the air as she toiled in silence.

When the sun went down Ash still walked, using her wind-up flashlight to show the way. She looked at her road map; if she kept walking south, she shouldn’t reach another town for quite a while, and that was fine by her. Finally, as her steps turned into staggers and stumbles, she collapsed in a clearing. Wrapped in a blanket and using her bag for a pillow, she curled up on the ground to sleep.

* * * *

Ash woke up way too late—around 9 A.M.—and ate a granola bar. She put the empty wrapper back in her bag and took a few sips of water. She had to conserve supplies, but also knew not eating or drinking enough would be dangerous. Ash walked through fields all morning, and saw nothing else around except a few houses and trees in the distance. She felt like she was walking in the middle of nowhere, but knew there was a road in the distance because once in a while a car would drive from one end of the flat horizon to the other. She headed to the nearest group of trees for cover when she got close enough for passing cars to see her.

After a small lunch, she spent the next couple hours hiking through the woods. In mid-afternoon she reached a clearing, but hovered at the edge, unsure if she should go farther.

The clearing was actually a yard, and a two-story gray house with blue shutters stood in the middle. The paint was faded, and one window had a piece of cardboard duct-taped over it. A driveway coiled south, but Ash couldn’t see the road. She wondered if the place was abandoned. This would be a good spot to take a break, and there might be something useful inside.

After several minutes of hesitation, she walked across the overgrown yard and peeked into a dirty pane of glass. She could see a brown couch and an old TV. The next room was a kitchen with a table and two chairs. Ash walked to the back of the house and gasped; a rope ladder swung in the breeze, hanging from a second floor window.

Ash just had to climb that ladder. She could reach the bottom rungs without a problem, but couldn’t pull herself up because her bag was too heavy. Unwilling to abandon her supplies for a moment, she dragged a small log over from a woodpile beside the back door and used it as a stepping stool. As she climbed, the bag cut into her shoulder and made balance wobbly. She launched herself inside, falling to the hardwood floor with a thump.

Two dressers, a desk, and a toy box were stacked in front of a door to her right. Two beds stood ahead; one of them had an old stuffed animal on it. The heads of both beds rested against the east wall, across from the barricaded door. At the far end of the room was another window overlooking the south end of the house. There was also a bathroom. When Ash looked inside, she saw a chair shoved up against yet another door.

Something felt very wrong. Ash turned to go back out the way she’d come in, but then grit her teeth and dove under one of the beds.

The top of the rope ladder was scooting across the window sill.

Ash watched in indignation as a small boy dove into the room. A girl followed, stumbling because the entire rope ladder was now wrapped around her leg. The kids wore old clothes and carried school bags. The girl’s waist-length, tangled hair was dark brown; the boy’s was reddish-blond and shot out all over his head. They both had bruises on their arms.

Ash slid out from under the bed and strode towards them.

Get out, she demanded. This is my spot.

The kids froze. Who are you? the girl asked.

This is my hideout, I found it first, Ash said.

The boy giggled. We live here.

Oh. Ash felt her face grow hot. That made more sense than every runaway in Indiana migrating to the same creepy house.

I’m Kevin Webster, and this is my sister, Dayna, the boy said.

What are you doing here? Dayna asked, unraveling herself from the ladder.

Leaving, Ash said.

You can’t. Kevin spread his arms. They’ll be back any minute.

Ash sighed and walked closer, ready to push the kids out of the way and tell them to mind their own business. But the girl, Dayna, stepped in front of the window and stared up at her. Ash stopped a few steps away. There was something about Dayna’s dark brown eyes that seemed both wise and melancholy. As Ash gazed into them she felt like she was falling and didn’t know why. She shook her head, breaking the trance. These kids obviously had it rough, but that wasn’t her problem.

Did you run away from home, or what? Dayna asked.

Of course she did, Kevin said. Your parents are bad, aren’t they?

No. Even that was too much. Ash’s chest constricted. If you live here, why do climb in and out through the window? Her face burned. She shouldn’t be asking questions.

We weren’t supposed to leave today, Dayna said, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed. But we’ve been stuck at home for a week; we didn’t want to stay here and clean everything again.

I don’t blame you, Ash said. Where did you go?

Dayna and Kevin looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

School, Dayna said, as if there were no other possible answer.

Ash smirked. These kids were even younger than she’d thought. I have to get out of here.

Wait, Dayna said. At least let me get you something to eat.

Dayna walked into the bathroom, and Ash could hear the chair that blocked the other door scraping across the floor.

Kevin sidled over to Ash. I have some cars and dinosaurs. Do you want to play a game?

She shook her head and looked at her watch.

He stepped closer. So…you ran away from home?

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and edged toward the rope ladder. Surely he wasn’t thinking of turning her in.

Do you think we could go with you? he asked.

Ash laughed; she hadn’t expected that question at all. No.

An engine rumbled outside and Kevin rushed to the south window. Oh, great. Mom and Dad are back. We got home before they did, though, so we shouldn’t be in trouble.

A door slammed downstairs, and a man started yelling.

Kevin ran to the bathroom. This isn’t good, he said. I have to go help Dayna.

Uh, okay, Ash said, backing up farther.

Why didn’t you do your chores? the man demanded.

Dayna screamed.

Ash reached the other end of the room. This was too much. She threw the rope ladder out the window.

Kevin hurried over and grabbed her arm. Wait, don’t leave. I’ll be right back.

I have to go, she said, peeling his fingers from her skin.

As Ash climbed down the rope ladder and ran away, she heard Kevin shouting curses behind her.

* * * *

Chapter 2: Promise

Six hours later, Ash shone the flashlight on her watch. She’d run about two hundred yards away and stopped, still in the woods. Even though her plans were way behind schedule, she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t help Dayna and Kevin. But she had to wait until their parents were asleep to go back.

Now the house stood dark and silent; the car in the driveway a warning. She crept to the back and sighed with relief at the sight of the rope ladder still hanging from the bedroom window. After a deep breath, she climbed up again.

Dayna and Kevin were sleeping in the same bed. In the moonlight, Ash could see Kevin had a black eye. Blood stained his nose and lip. Dayna lay curled up, facing the opposite direction. They were both too skinny.

Ash’s eyes stung and her throat felt raw. She pulled a wash cloth from her bag and tried to wipe the blood from Kevin’s face. He bounced up and Ash jumped.

You came back, he whispered.

His sister sat up slowly, looking at Ash with her mouth half-open.

What happened? Ash asked.

Kevin’s got some bruises, but I don’t think he has broken bones or anything, Dayna said. Her eyes looked haunted, but maybe it was just the shadows.

Dayna’s got cuts all over her back, Kevin said. And some of her back was bleeding, but I helped her clean it up. Our dad locked me in the bathroom and—

Dayna pushed him and glared, then got up and walked towards the north window as if every step caused pain. She pulled the rope ladder inside and Ash noticed a dark spot on the back of her shirt.

I think your back’s still bleeding. Can I look at it? Ash asked.

Dayna shrugged. I guess. But we can’t turn on the light in case Tom and Jean notice.

She means Mom and Dad, Kevin said.

Dayna sat on the edge of the bed. Kevin lay down, but kept his eyes open.

Ash wet her wash cloth in the bathroom, barely turning on the faucet. Then she sat beside Dayna and lifted the back of her shirt, revealing dark bruises and bloody scratches.

What did he hit you with?

Whatever he could grab.

Ash tried to keep her usual emotional distance, but it was impossible. She cried as she dabbed the cuts. Dayna cringed, but said nothing.

I should have stopped him, Ash said when she was finished.

Kevin cuddled his stuffed animal. No one can stop him.

We weren’t supposed to leave the house, and it was my idea to sneak out and go to school, Dayna said, eyes downcast.

Oh, you know it’s not your fault, Kevin said. "Nothing we do is ever good enough. If we get in trouble just for going to school, then Mom and Dad really must be crazy."

Dayna nodded.

Well, I know the only reason I met you is because I snuck into your house, but no one deserves to be treated this way, especially by their own parents, Ash said, her voice rising. She clapped a hand over her mouth in horror. After a tense silence to make sure Dayna and Kevin’s parents were still asleep, she whispered, I wanted to come back and tell you that…if you want to…you can come with me.

Kevin and Dayna looked at each other solemnly. It seemed to Ash they communicated without words.

We still don’t know your name, Kevin said.

Ash…short for Ashley.

You can sleep on the other bed, Dayna said. I don’t have a blanket for you, though.

You can use mine, Kevin said.

It’s all right, I have one. So, what happened when Kevin was locked in the bathroom?

Let’s just go to sleep, Dayna said, curling up and pulling the covers over her head. Tomorrow we’ll talk.

* * * *

Rain rapped the windows when Ash awoke. She looked around in confusion, and then remembered where she was. Kevin and Dayna were sitting on the other bed, rubbing their eyes and yawning.

I wonder if Mom and Dad went to work, Kevin said.

I doubt it. Dayna walked to the south window. Their car’s still here.

So what do we do? Ash asked.

Who knows? Kevin asked, flailing his arms and jumping out of bed. His hair looked like an explosion of red and gold fireworks. They might come up here. They might ignore us all day.

If they come upstairs you have to hide, Ash, Dayna said.

I won’t hide again. She stood over Dayna and Kevin. If either one of them tries anything, I’m older than you two are, and I’m bigger.

But our dad is still bigger than you, Kevin said. Besides, if he or mom sees you here we’ll all get in trouble.

Dayna nodded.

Ash sat down again in confusion. Dayna and Kevin seemed almost cheerful. Well, Kevin did anyway. Dayna just seemed resigned to their fate. Ash’s heart felt like it was burning as she thought, They’re used to this.

You might be bigger than we are but you can’t be that much older, Dayna said.

I’m thirteen, Ash said. How old are you, about ten?

Dayna glared at her. I’ll be twelve in July,

Oh. Ash’s face grew hot. A closer look revealed Dayna didn’t look ten after all; she was just short.

It’s okay. Dayna shrugged. Everyone always thinks I’m younger.

I’m eight! Kevin said, shoving eight fingers in Ash’s face.

Well, I’m still older, and I still think I should do something. Kevin, you have a black eye and your lip is swollen. Are you hurt anywhere else?

I don’t think so. Kevin twisted and turned his body. These other bruises are old.

What about you, Dayna? Can I see your back again now that there’s some light in here?

Dayna looked at Ash out of the corner of her eye, and then nodded. Ash grabbed a clean wash cloth. There was no soap in the bathroom, so she used her own bar. Afterwards, Dayna went into the bathroom to change clothes. Kevin changed in the middle of the bedroom. Ash averted her eyes, but when she heard Kevin’s stomach growl, she grabbed her bag.

You guys want some breakfast? she asked.

Dayna reentered the room with her mouth open and Kevin spun around with his shirt stuck over his head. Dayna yanked his shirt down and they walked to Ash with wide eyes.

You’ve got food in there? Dayna asked.

Well, yeah, I took a few things from the place I left, she said.

She pulled out a squashed box of doughnuts. Kevin exclaimed in delight and even Dayna’s eyes lit up. Ash’s face burned. She let them eat as much as they wanted. When they’d had enough, Kevin walked to the toy box and rummaged around, humming. Dayna sat on the floor beneath the rain-smeared north window.

Do you have any bags you can pack? Ash asked, pacing. They sure didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, and she wondered if they’d changed their minds.

Dayna pointed to the red duffle bag and green backpack she and her brother had been carrying the day before, still on the floor beside the tangled rope ladder. That’s all we’ve got.

Kevin emerged from the depths of the toy box, his mouth smeared with chocolate. He raced to his backpack and picked it up. Why don’t we just go now? he asked, green eyes glittering.

Be quiet, Dayna whispered. We can’t leave right now. Besides, I have an idea.

Ash stopped pacing.

Kevin and I have talked about running away before, but I’m still not sure if we should. Maybe we could go to someone for help at school.

Ash felt as if a weight had dropped into her stomach.