Budgie Smugglers (Urban Hunters #4)

By Gary Taaffe

BUDGIE SMUGGLERS (book 4)

Billy hunts street meat for his first ever dinner date, much to Amber’s dismay. A cranky council worker named Norm, wants them out of his park, but he also wants his park rid of feral cats. Billy makes a weapon for Amber with mixed results and the drunken burp of a hobo sends her crashing back into the life she just escaped. Billy has no clue what to do with an upset Amber but he does try. His bare bum needs to be kept in check so Amber comes up with a gift. And Larry, Curly and Moe make a meal of a dying man, saving his life and making him giggle. Norm is traumatised to find Billy and Amber gone.

“This book was just as laugh out loud funny as the first three books in the series. Billy slowly learning about girls and falling in love for the first time in his innocent way was just plain adorable. I can’t get enough of these characters and their adventures. It was AWESOME.” Jessica B, USA

“A friend recommended it to me. It was a very different book, but it was enjoyable and fun to read.” Deborah S, Canada

“There are some hilarious scenes and some really entertaining dialogue that move this story along at a great pace. The character of Billy is so endearing he stays with you long after the story is over. Looking forward to the next book in the series.” Jack S, Australia

URBAN HUNTERS is laugh–out–loud, gut–churning, heart–wrenching storytelling at its best. Unlike anything you’ve ever read, in typical Taaffe fashion. Hilarious as usual. Always surprising. Wonderful!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gary Taaffe
• Release date: Sep 23, 2012
• ISBN: 9780987176059

Gary Taaffe

Gary Taaffe is the No.1 Bestselling Amazon Author of 9 fiction and 2 non-fiction books, including the Urban Hunters series for Young Adults and his Stampede series, a no-nonsense guide to book marketing for authors.New York Book Review, W.D La Rue said, “I would read ANYTHING this man wrote.”Gary lives in Forster-Tuncurry, Australia, where he’s surrounded by waterways for fishing and bushland for hunting. He writes fulltime with new books coming out in quick succession.If you want to be the first to hear of his latest release, sign up to his newsletter, and if you want to find Gary socially, click one of the links below:Subscribe to my Readers Group newsletter to be the first to hear of new releases in the Urban Hunters series: http://eepurl.com/_E311Subscribe to my Marketing Strategies that Work! newsletter: http://eepurl.com/baqxn5Instagram: Gary_Taaffe https://instagram.com/gary_taaffe/Pinterest: Gary Taaffe https://www.pinterest.com/garytaaffe/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gary-Taaffe/212091488802148Twitter: @Urban_Hunters: http://twitter.com/urban_huntersPUBLISHERGary is a perfectionist who creates stunning books, both inside and out.He always has formatting jobs on the go for fiction authors but his latest claim to fame are his step-by-step publishing guides that are paving the way for clubs and committees around the world to gather large groups of people together to publish their stories, photos and works of art into highly sought after full colour books.Check out his Services page for more information.

Book preview

Titles available in the

URBAN HUNTERS

series

1. Four Small Stones

2. Tribal Scarring

3. Walkabout

4. Budgie Smugglers

Billy’s found a girl but what to do with her? A dinner date! Great idea, nothing like a freshly roasted rat over the coals on a starry night. Very romantic. Norm the council worker doesn’t think so though, he wants them out of his park! Until he sees what’s for breakfast. Yummo! And those loveable puppies: Larry, Curly and Moe, make a meal of a dying man, much to Amber’s relief. Life in the city, much more exciting than the bush.

This book was just as laugh out loud funny as the first three books in the series. Billy slowly learning about girls and falling in love for the first time in his innocent way was just plain adorable. I can’t get enough of these characters and their adventures. It was AWESOME. Jessica B, USA

There are some hilarious scenes and some really entertaining dialogue that move this story along at a great pace. The character of Billy is so endearing he stays with you long after the story is over. Looking forward to the next book in the series. Jack, Australia

URBAN HUNTERS is laugh–out–loud, gut–churning, heart–wrenching storytelling at its best. Unlike anything you’ve ever read, in typical Taaffe fashion. Hilarious as usual. Always surprising. Wonderful!

5. Bullies

6. The Orphanage

7. Bowels of Hell

8. Final Straw

Urban Hunters Box Set (Books 1–8)

9. WANTED! New Dad

10, 11, 12. Coming soon!

For more information on these titles, click here to get started:

http://BunyaPublishing.com

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Book 4

BUDGIE SMUGGLERS

Gary Taaffe

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COPYRIGHT

All rights reserved; no part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher

Copyright © Gary Taaffe 2012

Published by Bunya Publishing

Cover artwork by Toby Quarmby Copyright © Gary Taaffe 2012

Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to customs and cultures, actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental

The moral right of the author has been asserted

ISBN: 978–0–9871760–5–9

Edition: v11.1.16smash

http://BunyaPublishing.com

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Cast of Characters

Whenever you come across a character for the first time in this book, they’ll be linked to the Cast of Characters at the end of this story. It's a great reminder of who’s who in the zoo. Plus, you’ll learn how to pronounce their name.

Table of Contents

Titles Available in the Urban Hunters series

Title Page

Copyright

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 — Dirty White Girl

Chapter 2 — Rump of Rat

Chapter 3 — Stormin’ Norman

Chapter 4 — Lamingtons

Chapter 5 — Furball

Chapter 6 — Something Small

Chapter 7 — Budgie Smugglers

Chapter 8 — Do Nothing

Chapter 9 — Sweet

Chapter 10 — Bloody Norm

Chapter 11 — LIFESAVER

Chapter 12 — Toast

Cast of Characters

Thank You!

About the Author

Urban Hunters Books

Bonus Feature

End of Book

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— CHAPTER ONE —

Dirty White Girl

Mummy look! It’s that girl.

Amber turned just in time to see a woman fumbling desperately to cover her daughter’s mouth, her husband and son bumping into them as they exited the restaurant. The little girl’s eyes stared wide over her mother’s hand at the dishevelled girl in pink pyjamas, her feet bare and muddy, her top stained in blood and her hand dangling three dead rats by their tails.

Amber stood stunned and silent, shocked at the reaction to her appearance and upset by the turn her life had taken, yet more excited than ever.

Billy stepped from the alley’s shadows looking from Amber to the family. A muscular Aboriginal boy with the skinned head of a kangaroo for a hat, his gruesome chest scars shining menacingly under the lights. Raising his own brace of rats for the family to admire with a big cheesy grin he said,

Good tucker, mate!

The woman shrieked and turned tail, dragging her daughter across the busy street by the wrist.

Billy watched on, totally dumbfounded. The little girl turned back for another look, her feet barely skimming the bitumen as a taxi screeched to a halt, its horn blaring.

I don’t think they like rats, Billy, Amber shrugged.

Don’t know why, they got plenty fat on them here.

What were you doing back there?

Setting a trap for a fat one. This way, he said, leading Amber down the street.

Another one?

"Yeah, one for my dad.

Where’s he?

"In the bush.

Is he coming here too?

Nah, but I wanna take one back for him.

When are you going back to the bush?

Don’t know. Sometime.

What’s it like living in the bush?

It’s quiet.

Yeah, it’s pretty noisy here. Where are we going?

Here.

Vinnies! Amber declared in surprise.

They got enough pants here to cover every bare bum in the country, Billy said with an imitation of Turbo that made him smile at the memory.

What about wet bums? Amber retorted as she dropped her rats and upturned a bag in delight.

Don’t matter, just gotta be a bum.

Well I got one of them and it needs a new pair of pants.

Billy dropped his rats and stopped to watch Amber rummage through the pile, holding clothes against her body and twisting her hips to see how they looked. He liked the way she picked things up gently with long, slender fingers. The way she