Bakersfield Bananas

By Hilbert Haar

Short story collection: 24 stories from the Caribbean and elsewhere.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hilbert Haar
• Release date: Jul 2, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476006475

Hilbert Haar

Hilbert Haar (1950) started working as a journalist in the Netherlands in 1969. He has worked for newspaper and magazine publishers and also worked as an independent writer with his own company V.o.f. De Stijl. He spent seven years in Greece on the island of Crete, and lived also briefly in Utah and California. He worked as the Editor-in-Chief at Today, a muckraking English-language newspaper published in Philipsburg, St. Maarten - Dutch West Indies, for ten-plus years, until the paper closed down after Hurricane Irma in 2017. He is currently traveling with his wife Myriam in Asia.He finished his first full-length thriller - The Ultimate God Conspiracy in 2018, and published a second thriller - Diary of a Psychopath (Dutch title: Dagboek van een Psychopaat) in 2021.Het luchthartige zelf-help boek Achttien Tips Voor een Gelukkig Leven verscheen eveneens in 2021.

Book preview

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Bakersfield Bananas

And 23 other stories from the Caribbean and elsewhere

By Hilbert Haar

Copyright 2012 Hilbert Haar

Cover background copyright John Gavin – Dreamstime.com

Smashwords Edition

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Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Foreword

I arrived in the Caribbean on the tiny island of St. Maarten in early 2006. It was raining cats and dogs that day and the place looked miserable. At the time of this writing almost six years have gone by and I am still here. My island - 37 square miles divided between Dutch and French St. Martin – turned out to be a most interesting place. It is full of stories many people elsewhere in the world will never hear. I come across these stories because I am the managing editor of Today, a local newspaper.

The collection in Bakersfield Bananas is my maiden journey into the world of electronic publishing. I have no coming soon titles to offer at this time/at the moment, but I have plenty of projects lined up.

One project deals with the battle for the preservation of Emilio Wilson Estate – the last pristine environmental and historical jewel on my island.

On October 10, 2010 St. Maarten became an autonomous country in the Kingdom of the Netherlands. My second project dives deep into the downfall of a minister who was forced to step down after having been in office for a bit over two months. I was instrumental to her downfall.

My third project deals with the 25 most spectacular murders the island experienced in the past six years.

Further down the road, I intend to brush off a manuscript I never published. Its working title is The God Conspiracy.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 - I From Earth

Chapter 2 - Lucifer

Chapter 3 - Mind Your Language

Chapter 4 - Fragile

Chapter 5 - Telepathy

Chapter 6 - Customer Service

Chapter 7 - Gambling

Chapter 8 - Hospitality

Chapter 9 - Some good News

Chapter 10 - Governmentium

Chapter 11 - Guns ‘N Doctors

Chapter 12 - Homosexualist

Chapter 13 - Saving Water

Chapter 14 - The Boys On The Bus

Chapter 15 - A Matter Of Choice

Chapter 16 - To Try Or Not To Try

Chapter 17 - Forbidden Books

Chapter 18 - What’s In A Name

Chapter 19 - Happy Numbers

Chapter 20 - Learning

Chapter 21 – Oh-La-La .....The French

Chapter 22 - Polygamy

Chapter 23 - Bakersfield Bananas

Chapter 24 - Cell

I From Earth

Sometime ago, a picture in the entertainment supplement of our competitor The Daily Herald attracted my attention. If I remember correctly, it showed members of a rap group together with our endearing Commissioner Louie Laveist. They were all wearing a red tee shirt with the text: I From Here.

Wonderful I thought, these guys stand up for our local population. But who is local? Commissioner Maria Buncamper-Molanus clarified the point once during an Island Council-meeting. Anybody with a Dutch passport, no matter where he or she is born, is considered local.

Maybe you think that I rushed to the store to get myself one of those grammatically gut-wrenching I From Here tee shirts after hearing this good piece of news. Imagine union leader Willy Haize’s facial expression when he sees me wearing one of those I thought, knowing that this convicted arsonist calls me that white Dutchman behind my back. Leopold James, the local indigenous islanders champ wouldn’t be too pleased either, though I