The Bonfire of the Insanities: A Memoir of Madness

By K. J Forte

Once beautiful and bright, Grace McQuail was sure that she had a great future as a writer in London and New York. That was until time slowly began to eat away at her every dream. Her husband and daughter treat her with contempt, her books were rejected by her publishers at every turn.

Depressed, isolated and sore, she had no friends and she drowned herself in pills, drink and Church.

Then a letter changed her life. She began to question her sanity. But was Grace really crazy or was Grace a victim of the twisted fantasties of her husband and a rogue doctor?

Whatever it was, Grace decided she would make a decision that would change her life forever.

• Language: English
• Publisher: K. J Forte
• Release date: Jun 4, 2012
• ISBN: 9781476041773

K. J Forte

K.J. Forte is British born of Caribbean parentage and read for her Masters Degree in Mass Communications at the University of Leicester, UK. She loves travel, reading, food, wine and discovering the cultures of other peoples. When not writing in her profession as a medical journalist, she enjoys family, travel and her cat Dame Pudding Muffin. She lives between Barbados and London.

Book preview

The Bonfire of Insanities

A Memoir of Madness

By: K. J. Forte

Published by K. J. Forte at Smashwords.com

Copyright © 2012 by K.J. Forte

First Edition

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination and/or are used fictiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. The author and publisher do not assume any responsibility for third party websites or their content. The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the internet or via any other means without the permission of the author is punishable by law. Please purchase only the authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.

From The Author:

For Pedro and Alex

To Ezra

Deutoronomy 28 v 20

²⁰ The LORD will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking him] ²¹ The LORD will plague you with diseases until he has destroyed you from the land you are entering to possess. ²² The LORD will strike you with wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, which will plague you until you perish. ²³ The sky over your head will be bronze, the ground beneath you iron. ²⁴ The LORD will turn the rain of your country into dust and powder; it will come down from the skies until you are destroyed.

Table of Contents

Chapter One: A Time to die

Chapter Two: Sectioned

Chapter Three: Assessment

Chapter Four: Mindless Banter

Chapter Five: Garden Therapy

Chapter Six: Going Home

Chapter Seven: I’m not me

Chapter Eight: Mum and Dad

Chapter Nine: Mad like me

Chapter Ten: The End

EPILOGUE: One Year Later

Chapter One

A Time to Die

I have decided to end it all.

Go ahead and judge me, I’ve been judged enough already and I don’t care anymore. Nothing works. It has been two years since I have been laid off, my husband left, my child resents me and thinks I am a loser and my therapist doesn’t understand a word I am saying.

I researched it on the internet and as scared as I am, I am really a coward and a hopeless romantic, nevertheless, I plan to die at my own hands. I have thought of the options – live on, roll with the punches and see where I end up or kill myself painlessly and enter the realm of the unknown. I researched the most painless way on the internet. Frankly, none of the ideas is painless – head in the oven with note, concoction of over-the-counter pills and vodka and note, slashed wrists and note, bleach and pesticide and note? Nope, not quite hacking it but I knew the day would come.

I spent my whole life in church, hoping for miracles. I slept with the Bible on my bed, always open. I found the book of Deuteronomy in the Bible really scary, all about fire and brimstone and blessings and curses but I tried to be obedient to get rid of this demonic depression.

Of course my Vicar could never know that I had contemplated suicide. Surely, he can’t know that I feel that way right now. He has already preached and belted out enough raging fire about how we must have faith and wait for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. He reduced me to ashes with his religious sputum. I felt faithless, condemned, I felt like I was not living up to God’s expectations.

My dead father made sure that I felt guilt every day. Then he "preached’ his sermon on why I should forgive him. I was relieved he was dead.

The Vicar did say something interesting though. He said that the Bible does not say anything specific on suicide but to take our own life is to murder ourselves. The UK law seems to take a similar view since attempting the same can get one charged or so I was told. So it’s all the way or no way, since I don’t plan to spend any time in the Scrubs. I am going to kill myself. Definitely.

There is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. There is a