Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    'Twas the Night Before Solstice (Southern Oregon Style)
    'Twas the Night Before Solstice (Southern Oregon Style)
    'Twas the Night Before Solstice (Southern Oregon Style)
    Ebook6 pages3 minutes

    'Twas the Night Before Solstice (Southern Oregon Style)

    By Celeste Drolle

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    A rollicking spoof on the old chestnut "A Visit From Saint Nicholas" (aka "Twas the Night Before Christmas") by Clement C Moore. Join a rural-dwelling marijuana farmer and his family as their speeded-up distributor arrives in a Jeep pulled by eight snarling pit bulls. Chuckle as the scrawny fellow tumbles down the stovepipe to do business while the ol' lady and the chilluns snore. (18+ please).

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherZacharias O'Bryan
    Release dateDec 9, 2011
    ISBN9781466074477
    'Twas the Night Before Solstice (Southern Oregon Style)
    Author

    Celeste Drolle

    Celeste Drolle sets aside precious little time for writing, and her critics complain that it shows. Celeste shrugs this off, aims her TV remote, and tunes in another telenovela.* * *Time for writing or not, she rarely lacks for stories -- a trait, she points out, that she shares with other habitual liars. "Can you imagine if Dick Nixon had written fiction?" smiles Celeste: "I promise to tell the Half Truth, the Twisted Truth, and nothing resembling the Truth."* * *Pressed about the unlikely likeness of her publicity photo, she mumbles something inaudible about the British Museum, face lifts, and "what's a girl to do?"* * *In pursuit of her promise to write longer fiction one day, must her ravenous appetite for C movies, hush puppies and libidinous living be curtailed? "I have often worried that advancing age might trim my sails," muses Ms. Drolle. "Lordy, how mistaken can a body can be?"

    Related to 'Twas the Night Before Solstice (Southern Oregon Style)

    Related ebooks

    Poetry For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Seven Poems

      May 1, 2023

      There was a boy even stranger than I waswho’d call me in the eveningto see if I’d come to Scouts. Something in mehesitated. Then one morning during eighth grade English we got hall passesand did it in a stall in the bathroomtaking turns over the john

      3 min read

    • Article

      The Eternal Adventure

      Jun 29, 2021

      The Eternal Adventure
      4 min read

    • Article

      Four Poems

      Jul 1, 2022

      The embers of a Thousand YearsUncovered by the HandThat fondled them when they were FireWill stir and understand——from Emily Dickinson’s “1383” Remember when we hurriedourselves into the evening’s sacral blaze: Our coal-covered bridal gownsdrenched i

      6 min read

    • Article

      Six Poems

      Jul 1, 2018

      When I said, to my mother, What was a goodthing about me as a child?, my mother’sface seemed to unfurl from the center,hibiscus in fast motion, the anthersand flounces springing out with joy. Oh you wereenchanting, she breathed. What do you mean—craz

      5 min read

    • Article

      Meditations On Ghosts

      Nov 1, 2022

      I believed, once, in Ouija boards, of standing in front of my own reflection mouthing Bloody _____, Bloody _____, Bloody _____ —& how still I hesitate because I know words transfigure tongues as easily as brain, transfigure to spells cast without my

      4 min read

    • Article

      Longer on Moon

      Sep 22, 2022

      Longer on Moon
      19 min read

    • Article

      Four Poems

      May 1, 2022

      —after Gerrit van Honthorst’s “Samson and Delilah,” c. 1621 They’ve made a monster of me, marring my namefor eternity. I’m not Delilah,but Laila. I loved him. Each night, in bed, after our bodies became one body, he would succumb to sleep, resting hi

      3 min read

    • Article

      Tracie Morris

      Mar 9, 2021

      1. There’s a sign near the waterfrontI think it’s advertising cheer:says 400 YEARS, VIRGINIA SPIRITS. A swig. A year ago last night, my dead crowd mean even ceremonyof Jamestown, at the schooner that brought those first here.They think: long tripdid

      2 min read

    • Article

      Meant To Soar

      Apr 25, 2019

      Meant To Soar
      6 min read

    • Article

      Six Poems

      Nov 1, 2023

      loved best. Words I have neversaid. New sentence, at 80. Of coursenot more than his children, and their children. That goeswithout saying—but I want to lay down eachelement of love’s house. First,the hole, under—apple cellar, potato cellar,cellar to

      5 min read

    • Article

      Three Poems

      May 1, 2020

      When my father calls my grandfather, he becomes a son.He calls me to become, again, a father. My son would have made me a father and my fathera grandfather. The expectation: this would continue, one long trail of names passed like a candle.I carry th

      3 min read

    • Article

      El Valle, 1991

      Dec 15, 2020

      El Valle, 1991
      4 min read

    • Article

      Dear Mr. Gottlieb

      Nov 1, 2019

      Dear Mr. Gottlieb
      8 min read

    • Article

      FOUR POEMS for Lucie Brock-Broido

      Jul 1, 2019

      Correspondence from Madam Rachel, Purveyor of Eternal Youth, to Mister Walter Potter, Anthropomorphic Dioramist, ca. 1880 Most Splendid Immortalist: Herewith you have a letter sent by my solicitor, writtenin my final leapt year, my sliver of pound ca

      3 min read

    • Article

      Unlearnable Lessons on My Father’s Deathbed

      Mar 21, 2017

      I was at my father’s side much of the time in his final weeks, a witness to both the gifts and miseries of being near death. Nurses came and went, patient, long-suffering. They sat beside him for hours at a time, dousing spongy lollipops in water and

      5 min read

    • Article

      The American Rodeo

      Sep 4, 2019

      The American Rodeo
      11 min read

    • Article

      100-WORD-STORY COMPETITION Winners

      Aug 16, 2022

      We’ve been delighted by the huge response to our 100-word-story competition. The entries have flooded in thick and fast during the past few months, but while we’ve enjoyed reading every story, only a few can come out on top! You, our readers, voted t

      5 min read

    • Article

      The Island (catullus 64)

      Mar 1, 2022

      Back then the evergreens tumbled downriverfrom the glaze-white runoff to the boot-stirred puddlesof amber young men who fulfilled our destiny,who clambered into ships, on horses, and in wagonspainting the newfound landscapes ours.Our calling was nobl

      9 min read

    • Article

      Three Poems

      Sep 1, 2023

      It’s Tuesday and my partner tells meI smell of vacation—so, salt, pine needles,perhaps cantaloupe—depending onthe Tuesday. As a child in the woods,I woke every morning to bad hair daysand mountain breath. Rain-water collectedin gullies of blue tarps

      4 min read

    • Article

      Spell

      Apr 25, 2018

      Spell
      4 min read

    • Article

      It Takes Two

      Jul 18, 2020

      It Takes Two
      2 min read

    • Article

      My Garden Is Infested With Die Cast Creatures

      Jul 4, 2023

      I tried everything to stop them from tearing the place up. Traps, food, female companions… but nothing worked. These die cast creatures continued to infest my garden, leaving their little plastic or metal droppings everywhere. It was getting to the p

      2 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for 'Twas the Night Before Solstice (Southern Oregon Style)

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      'Twas the Night Before Solstice (Southern Oregon Style) - Celeste Drolle

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1