Hounded! A Reluctant Spiritual Journey

By Michael Smith

Have you ever been hounded, I mean really hounded over a long period of time? I have. But having said that, I have to admit it was a very different kind of on and off hounding, but hounding nonetheless, that has been going on for about twenty-five years. It started at a Good Friday church service when the lay presider asked the five hundred or so people in attendance, "Why did Jesus have to die?" In a few seconds, before I had time to start considering his question, he added, "That's the most important question you’ll ever think about," and then gave the congregation a few minutes to start their consideration before he resumed the service. As I sat in the pew thinking about the question, I had no idea how right the presider was about the question being the most important one I would ever consider or how it would hound me until I finally took the time to answer it.
My first thought was the question seemed very strange since all of my religion and theology teachers from grade school through college had consistently taught Jesus died as a sacrifice to atone for our sins and since the Resurrection is central to Christianity, Jesus needed to die so He could rise from the dead. I honestly believed it was an open and shut case and was quite puzzled by the fact the question was even raised when the answer was so obvious. My initial conclusion was the presider might need to go back to school. Foolish me!
After giving the question a bit more thought, I began to realize I considered the ‘sacrifice to atone for our sins’ explanation a bit inadequate in light of some of God’s statements like the one in Hosea 6:6 which Jesus quoted twice in Matthew’s gospel.
“I want mercy and not sacrifice. I want you to recognize me as God instead of bringing me burnt offerings.”
While I realized there was no comparison between Jesus’ death on a cross and the burnt offerings of the Old Testament, I had a difficult time justifying how the God who said He did not want sacrifices in Hosea, could at the same time demand His Son as a sacrifice to atone for our sins. After considering the question a bit more, it also seemed to me that Jesus’ death, if it were to atone for sins, would change nothing in us humans and we would continue sinning. I have always believed Jesus came into the world because things needed to change and He was sent to show mankind how to live in a new more fulfilling and rewarding way. I began to wonder if there was more to Jesus’ death on the cross than the atonement for sins reason alone, but I did not know with any certainty what it could be and I like to know the reason behind everything.
After nine months of research I found an answer which satisfied me but I decided to lock it away for fear of deserving the millstone treatment promised to those who lead others astray. I finally, as a means of dealing with my fear, decided to make it available, not as a fact, but as a starting point for further thought—this time it’s your turn to think about this important question.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michael Smith
• Release date: Nov 8, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465840936

Michael Smith

Michael Smith is an award-winning British journalist and author, having previously served in British military intelligence. He has written for the Daily Telegraph and the Sunday Times, and is the author of fifteen books on spies and special operations, including the No 1 bestseller Station X: The Codebreakers of Bletchley Park. He lives in Henley-on-Thames.

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Hounded!

A Reluctant Spiritual Journey

M. J. J. Smith

Copyright 2011 Michael J. Smith, Sr.

All rights reserved.

Published by Book and Software Publishing Corporation at Smashwords.

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Table of Contents

My Big Life Question

Added Focus

The Old Testament

The Three Synoptic Gospels

The Epistles, Acts of the Apostles and Book of Revelation

Conclusion—God’s Desired Response

Appendix

Acknowledgements

First and foremost my thanks go to my wife, Mary, for her encouragement and help reading and rereading the manuscript.

I would like to express my appreciation to Zondervan Corporation for allowing me to quote one of their Bibles in this work. All of the Bible quotes, except the one specifically identified with a different source, are subject to the following copyrights.

The Holy Bible, New International Version

International Bible Society

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society

Special thanks go to Dr. Robert L. Zell, Marquette University professor, for making the Old Testament both understandable and interesting; Perry J. Roets, S. J., also a Marquette University professor, for teaching me how to apply Scripture to my daily life; and the many other teachers and retreat masters who have shared their knowledge with me over the years. Some might find it hard to believe I was listening but I was, and I owe each of them a great deal for the information they shared with me.

Finally I would like to extend my thanks to the numerous other individuals who have shared their thoughts about God and His plan for salvation with me over many years. They helped me develop and crystallize many of the ideas presented in this work. I have benefited greatly from their willingness to share their knowledge and ideas.

Prologue

When I began this project, because I was intending to answer a single question, I anticipated it would require only a few hours to complete. In retrospect, that was a completely unrealistic estimate considering the question had been haunting me on and off for over twenty-five years.

As in many research projects, when I delved into the topic, I uncovered many more questions than answers. While the facts I learned, or in some cases rediscovered, about the reasons behind Jesus’ choice to die on a cross were interesting, the project grew because I was badly jolted by seeing myself, mostly in a very poor light, in many historic biblical characters and events. I never thought of myself as a bad or weak person but, as my research continued, I clearly saw my weakness, fear and failure to trust God, has resulted in my making some very bad short and long term choices. I also realized I needed to make a number of significant changes in my life. As a result, while the conclusion I reached about the question that started this search was important to me, the process of getting there was more than worth the nine-month effort itself. I learned more about myself in a short time than I had learned in my life up to that point. For that reason alone, I recommend this kind of exercise to all who are interested in learning about God and themselves.

As you read, you will discover I wandered a bit. The reason is twofold.

First, I am Irish and, as such, subject to a trait endemic to all Irishmen. My thinking process follows a stream of consciousness pattern rather than some more logical order. While others go from A to B to C, I tend to go from A to D to a little bit of B and on to some more D and so forth and might never get to C at all. Additionally, as hard as I try to focus, I wandered around a lot because I have read the Bible cover to cover several times and when I read something it often reminded me of something similar I have seen in one of my previous passes through the Bible. Normally, I can control this trait but I found it particularly difficult to do when researching the Bible because several of its authors suffered from the same stream of consciousness malady I do and they cannot even blame their wandering around on being Irish.

This entire problem was compounded because many Bible stories are repeated with a slightly different twist in several books. The three Synoptic Gospels cover the same stories because Luke, who wrote his gospel primarily for the gentiles, and Matthew, who wrote his gospel with an emphasis that made it most interesting to the Jews, used Mark’s Gospel as their primary source for information for their text.

The second reason for my meandering about is Jesus often quoted Old Testament stories during His ministry. When I came to one of those places, I would wander off to the Old Testament to learn as much as I could about the reference Jesus was quoting. As I wandered, I brought you along with my comments.

While it may be difficult to believe once you have read the entire book, I did remove a good deal of the wandering in the first drafts and I ask your understanding and indulgence for the many remaining instances.

One final point before I begin. There were many other passages I could have included but I limited the number I used to keep the focus as sharp as possible. The other passages that caught my attention made the same points made in this work using different words or seemed appropriate for a different work altogether.

My Big Life Question

Have you ever been hounded, I mean really hounded over a long period of time? I have. But having said that, I have to admit it was a very different kind of on and off hounding, but hounding nonetheless, that has been going on for about twenty-five years. It started at a Good Friday church service when the lay presider asked the five hundred or so people in attendance, Why did Jesus have to die? In a few seconds, before I had time to start considering his question, he added, That's the most important question you’ll ever think about, and then gave the congregation a few minutes to start their consideration before he resumed the service. As I sat in the pew thinking about the question, I had no idea how right the presider was about the question being the most important one I would ever consider or how it would hound me until I finally took the time to answer it.

My first thought was the question seemed very strange since all of my religion and theology teachers from grade school through college had consistently taught Jesus died as a sacrifice to atone for our sins and since the Resurrection is central to Christianity, Jesus needed to die so He could rise from the dead. I honestly believed it was an open and shut case and was quite puzzled by the fact the question was even raised when the answer was so obvious. My initial conclusion was the presider might need to go back to school. Foolish me!

After giving the question a bit more thought, I began to realize I considered the ‘sacrifice to atone for our sins’ explanation a bit inadequate in light of some of God’s statements like the one in Hosea 6:6 which Jesus quoted twice in Matthew’s gospel.

I want mercy and not sacrifice. I want you to recognize me as God instead of bringing me burnt offerings.

While I realized there was no comparison between Jesus’ death on a cross and the burnt offerings of the Old Testament, I had a difficult time justifying how the God who said He did not want sacrifices in Hosea, could at the same time demand His Son as a sacrifice to atone for our sins. After considering the question a bit more, it also seemed to me that Jesus’ death, if it were to atone for sins, would change nothing in us humans and we would continue sinning. I have always believed Jesus came into the world because things needed to change and He was sent to show mankind how to live in a new more fulfilling and rewarding way. I began to wonder if there was more to Jesus’ death on the cross than the atonement for sins reason alone, but I did not know with any certainty what it could be and I like to know the reason behind everything.

A number of questions flashed through my mind. After teaching us who we are and how we are to live, why would Jesus elect to die on a cross? It certainly was not what I would have found necessary to do. What was the point? Like everyone else, I knew He loved me and, while I cannot speak for anyone else, He certainly did not need to die for me. He more than proved He loved me and everyone else by becoming a man, living among us and teaching us about our Father. He could have told me that everyone who believed in Him would rise from the dead and live with Him and His Father forever. He didn’t need to die to make His point. What was the reason for the pain?

When I was young, I was told crucifixion is one of the most horrible deaths a person can endure—the victim actually suffocates to death. Why that way? If it was to give me an example, I could have done without it because I sure did not want to suffer like that. I am definitely not into pain. Thankfully, the presider cut off any further time to consider the question by resuming the service.

At that point, even though I had strong personal doubts that Jesus’ death was to atone for our sins and He needed to die to make the Resurrection possible, I accepted those explanations because those who had taught them to me had much more education and knowledge about the topic than me. Furthermore,