The Four Wotsits of the Doodad

By Shaun Allan

Death, War, Pestilence and Famine - the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - have been hanging around for so long waiting to being about the end of the world, they've forgotten who they really are.

War is a Top Gear groupie, Fam (the Man) cheats at Monopoly against his sidekick Pestilencio and Death sighs a lot - something that's not too great for the local pigeon population but makes Cedric, their three-headed Jack Russell, very happy.

Death realises the world is going down the pan without them, and decides to make it a better place. After all, it should be THEM destroying it, not us!

Unfortunately, things don't quite go according to plan...

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shaun Allan
• Release date: Oct 26, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465766519

Shaun Allan

Shaun Allan is a Wattpad Star, featured author and Wattys winner. Having appeared on Sky TV to debate traditional vs electronic publishing against a major literary agent, he writes multiple genres, including young adult and childrens', but mainly delves into his Dark Half to produce psychological horror. He has worked with Universal, Goosebumps, Blumhouse and DC Comics and regularly holds writing workshops at local schools. Many of his personal experiences and memories are woven into the point of view and sense of humour of Sin, the main character in his best-selling novel of the same name, although he can’t, at this point, teleport.Shaun lives with his daughters and a manic dog called Ripley (believe it or not). He works full time, co-owns a barbers salon and writes in that breath between his heartbeats. Though his life might, at times, seem crazy, he is not.Honest.

Book preview

The Four Wotsits of the Doodad

By Shaun Allan

Copyright 2011 Shaun Allan

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Also by Shaun Allan

Sin

Zits’n’Bits

Tooth, the Whole Tooth and Nothing but the Tooth

Final Entry

The House on the Moor

Welcome the Night

Computers Don't Wear Pink Pyjamas

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The Four Wotsits of the Doodad

Hey, Big D! shouted Famine across the room.

Death looked up and scowled. Famine knew how much he hated being called 'The Big D'. His name was Death. It was a good name - strong and proud. 'The Big D' made him sound like a failed rap star who was working on his fourteenth comeback.

My name is... Death began, his voice a low rumble that made him sound like he had a subwoofer stuffed up his behind. Glasses vibrated when he spoke, a fact that War found increasingly irritating as he'd had to attach one of those ridiculous string affairs to his varifocals to help prevent them slipping off whenever Death said something.

Yeah, whatever, said Famine, or Fam the Man as he was usually called. Granted he was only known as Fam the Man by himself and Pestilencio, but it was enough. Pestilencio, or Pestilence to everyone other than the Man that was Fam, seemed to almost be Famine's shadow. He bought so deeply into Famine's strange world of 'hip' names and 'jive' talking, he even wore a baseball cap backwards and a gold bracelet so heavy his wrist ached if it was raised for more than a few minutes. He was the youngest of the four, and was easily led. It didn’t help that he was a little slower than his brothers and didn’t quite see the world in the same way. Famine, being the cool fly guy that he told everyone he was - even the milkman who called once a week for the bill to be settled and the old lady (Brenda) who lived down at number 7 - simply thought that everyone saw him as a dude, so saw no problem in Pestilence following him around like an adoring puppy.

War and Death had tried to, gently, peel Pestilence away from the influence of their slightly off-beat brother, but he was having none of it. Famine