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    Sketches New and Old, Part 6.
    Sketches New and Old, Part 6.
    Sketches New and Old, Part 6.
    Ebook71 pages41 minutes

    Sketches New and Old, Part 6.

    By Mark Twain

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 26, 2013
    Sketches New and Old, Part 6.
    Author

    Mark Twain

    Frederick Anderson, Lin Salamo, and Bernard L. Stein are members of the Mark Twain Project of The Bancroft Library at the University of California, Berkeley.

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      Book preview

      Sketches New and Old, Part 6. - Mark Twain

      SKETCHES NEW AND OLD, Part 6

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Sketches New and Old, Part 6.

      by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net

      Title: Sketches New and Old, Part 6.

      Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

      Release Date: June 26, 2004 [EBook #5841]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SKETCHES NEW AND OLD, PART 6. ***

      Produced by David Widger

      SKETCHES NEW AND OLD

      by Mark Twain

      Part 6.

      CONTENTS:

      THE UNDERTAKER'S CHAT

      Now that corpse, said the undertaker, patting the folded hands of deceased approvingly, was a brick-every way you took him he was a brick. He was so real accommodating, and so modest-like and simple in his last moments. Friends wanted metallic burial-case—nothing else would do. I couldn't get it. There warn't going to be time—anybody could see that.

      "Corpse said never mind, shake him up some kind of a box he could stretch out in comfortable, he warn't particular 'bout the general style of it. Said he went more on room than style, anyway in a last final container.

      "Friends wanted a silver door-plate on the coffin, signifying who he was and wher' he was from. Now you know a fellow couldn't roust out such a gaily thing as that in a little country-town like this. What did corpse say?

      "Corpse said, whitewash his old canoe and dob his address and general destination onto it with a blacking-brush and a stencil-plate, 'long with a verse from some likely hymn or other, and pint him for the tomb, and mark him C. O. D., and just let him flicker. He warn't distressed any more than you be—on the contrary, just as ca,'m and collected as a hearse-horse; said he judged that wher' he was going to a body would find it considerable better to attract attention by a picturesque moral character than a natty burial-case with a swell door-plate on it.

      "Splendid man, he was. I'd druther do for a corpse like that 'n any I've tackled in seven year. There's some satisfaction in buryin' a man like that. You feel that what you're doing is appreciated. Lord bless you, so's he got planted before he sp'iled, he was perfectly satisfied; said his relations meant well, perfectly well, but all them preparations was bound to delay the thing more or less, and he didn't wish to be kept layin' around. You never see such a clear head as what he had—and so ca,'m and so cool. Jist a hunk of brains—that is what he was. Perfectly awful. It was a ripping distance from one end of that man's head to t'other. Often and over again he's had brain-fever a-raging in one place, and the rest of the pile didn't know anything about it—didn't affect it any more than an Injun Insurrection in Arizona

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