Dragon, Dragon: And Other Tales

By John Gardner

Four tales of fantasy from a twentieth-century literary master—selected as the 1975 New York Times Outstanding Book for Children

John Gardner’s first children’s book takes the traditional fairy tale and turns it on its head. In the title story, a meddlesome dragon meets his match. “The Tailor and the Giant” tells the story of a cowardly man who finally faces his fears. A villainous beast of burden attempts to rid himself of his master in “The Miller’s Mule.” And in “The Last Piece of Light,” a brave young chimney-sweep saves the world from darkness.

Filled with irreverent twists on the classic elements of princes and princesses, witches and wizards, and the magical realms that they inhabit, Dragon, Dragon is a collection of fun and fantastic tales to be cherished by readers of all ages.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Media
• Release date: Nov 2, 2010
• ISBN: 9781453203101

John Gardner

John Gardner (1933–1982) was born in Batavia, New York. His critically acclaimed books include the novels Grendel, The Sunlight Dialogues, and October Light, for which he received the National Book Critics Circle Award, as well as several works of nonfiction and criticism such as On Becoming a Novelist. He was also a professor of medieval literature and a pioneering creative writing teacher whose students included Raymond Carver and Charles Johnson.

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Dragon, Dragon and Other Tales

John Gardner

Illustrations by Michael Sporn

To Joel and Lucy

Contents

Dragon, Dragon

The Tailor and the Giant

The Miller’s Mule

The Last Piece of Light

DRAGON, DRAGON

There was once a king whose kingdom was plagued by a dragon. The king did not know which way to turn. The king’s knights were all cowards who hid under their beds whenever the dragon came in sight, so they were of no use to the king at all. And the king’s wizard could not help either because, being old, he had forgotten his magic spells. Nor could the wizard look up the spells that had slipped his mind, for he had unfortunately misplaced his wizard’s book many years before. The king was at his wit’s end.

Every time there was a full moon the dragon came out of his lair and ravaged the countryside. He frightened maidens and stopped up chimneys and broke store windows and set people’s clocks back and made dogs bark until no one could hear himself think.

He tipped over fences and robbed graves and put frogs in people’s drinking water and tore the last chapters out of novels and changed house numbers around so that people crawled into bed with their neighbors’ wives.

He stole spark plugs out of people’s cars and put firecrackers in people’s cigars and stole the clappers from all the church bells and sprung every bear trap for miles around so the bears could wander wherever they pleased.

And to top it all off, he changed around all the roads in the kingdom so that people could not get anywhere except by starting out in the wrong direction.

That, said the king in a fury, is enough! And he called a meeting of everyone in the kingdom.

Now it happened that there lived in the kingdom a wise old cobbler who had a wife and three sons. The cobbler and his family came to the king’s meeting and stood way in back by the door, for the cobbler had a feeling that since he was nobody important there had probably been some mistake, and no doubt the king had intended the meeting for everyone in the kingdom except his family and him.

Ladies and gentlemen, said the king when everyone was present, I’ve put up with that dragon as long as I can. He has got to be stopped.

All the people whispered amongst themselves, and the king smiled, pleased with the impression he had made.

But the wise cobbler said gloomily, It’s all very well to talk about it—but how are you going to do it?

And now all the people smiled and winked as if to say, Well, King, he’s got you there!

The king frowned.

It’s not that His Majesty hasn’t tried, the queen spoke up loyally.

Yes, said the king, "I’ve told my knights again and again that they ought to slay that dragon. But I can’t force them to go. I’m not a tyrant."

Why doesn’t the wizard say a magic spell? asked the cobbler.

He’s done the best he can, said the king.

The wizard blushed and everyone looked embarrassed. I used to do all sorts of spells and chants when I was younger, the wizard explained. "But I’ve lost my spell book, and I begin to fear I’m losing my memory too. For instance, I’ve been trying for days to recall one spell I used to do. I forget, just now, what the deuce it was for. It went something like—

Reviews for Dragon, Dragon

[Pinkd1mond · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

It should not be a preview

[elizajane_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I had this book as a child; the same paperback copy I have now, but I first read it from a hardcover copy from the school library. Gardner has a way with words and these are a humorous, tongue-in-cheek collection of original fairy tales. Each contains elemental tropes from the traditional fairy tales and one is even styled (very) loosely after an actual Grimm tale. But these are Gardiner's very own through and through with modern humour making them so gleefully successful. I was delighted with his writing in each story but certainly found the first two stories highly superior to the last two. Each story has two gorgeous illustrations reproduced in black and white; however, from memory I seem to recall that the hardcover had full colour illustrated panes. This book was awarded the NYT Outstanding Book for Children 1975.1. Dragon, Dragon - Absolutely hilarious! This tale follows the usual three brothers fairy tale. Here, each, starting with the eldest who is clever, then the middle who is strong, goes off to slay the dragon and fails, until the youngest who is nervous and slender but a good boy who listens to his elders. All the usual tropes in this type of tale are used, but Gardner turns it on its head by adding hilarious humour that had me grinning the whole time. (5/5)2. The Tailor and the Giant - Based on the Grimm tale, but really not following the plot at all. Very funny tale where the giant terrorizes the town the first Monday of every month and the tailor basically has agoraphobia and social anxiety but becomes the hero in the end. I love the writing style and the humour is tongue-in-cheek delightful. (5/5)3. The Miller's Mule - A mule is too old to work and the miller is going to shoot him, but the mule says he will make him rich if he spares his life. However, the mule is a wicked creature who tries to get the miller killed. This one is a bit of a let down after the first too. Not really that funny, at least it falls flat for me and, I know this sounds like a foolish thing to say about silly fairytales, but this story lacks logic making it hard to get into to the magical realism. It's readable, though. I'm enjoying this author's writing. (3/5)4. The Last Piece of Light - Quite an original fairytale with a bit of a modern feel to it at first but then we get a king and further in a prince, but settle into a Victorian feel when we meet the chimney sweep. In this story, the saviour is the Lady of the North Star who uses a female chimney sweep to become the hero and in a turn from the norm Chimorra ends up saving the Prince. A quaint feel good tale, but Gardner's humorous twist is that everyone is as dumb as a doornail. Chimorra is the only one with any bit of sense and that is even minimal as she forgets her magic words to save the world and even forgets she's forgotten! But we like Chimorra and don't feel any frustration with her as she goes through the usual fairytale tragedy upon tragedy until the happy, but, strange ending. (4/5)

[sturlington_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I have very fond memories of my father reading me these darkly funny fairy tales. "Dragon, dragon, how do you do? I've come from the king to murder you." Unfortunately, this book is out of print and impossible to find now.

[dranea_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I would have liked for there to be more stories in this short stories book. Although none of them had a typical "happy ending", they all were very entertaining. These stories can be read by or to younger readers although I do not think they will get as much out of them as a YA reader would. The short stories can be twisted to teach a story, or you can just read them for sheer entertainment. Although, I'm not sure how the last story, "The Last Piece of Light," teaches anything. That story I believe can have lessons taught from it, but I don't feel that was the major intention of the story. I am definitely going to be looking for more from John Champlin Gardner. I know it was only a VERY short book, but I enjoyed every page.