How Proust Can Change Your Life

By Alain De Botton

A bestselling author draws on the work of one of history’s most important writers to show us how to best live life in a book that’s "delightfully original.... A self-help book in the deepest sense of the term" (The New York Times).

Alain de Botton combines two unlikely genres—literary biography and self-help manual—in the hilarious and unexpectedly practical How Proust Can Change Your Life.

Who would have thought that Marcel Proust, one of the most important writers of our century, could provide us with such a rich source of insight into how best to live life? Proust understood that the essence and value of life was the sum of its everyday parts. As relevant today as they were at the turn of the century, Proust's life and work are transformed here into a no-nonsense guide to, among other things, enjoying your vacation, reviving a relationship, achieving original and unclichéd articulation, being a good host, recognizing love, and understanding why you should never sleep with someone on a first date. It took de Botton to find the inspirational in Proust's essays, letters and fiction and, perhaps even more surprising, to draw out a vivid and clarifying portrait of the master from between the lines of his work.

Here is Proust as we have never seen or read him before: witty, intelligent, pragmatic. He might well change your life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Release date: Jan 23, 2013
• ISBN: 9780307833495

Alain De Botton

Alain de Botton is the author of a number of books that try to throw light on the big challenges of our lives. His books have been sold in thirty-five countries and many have been international bestsellers, including How Proust Can Change Your Life, Essays in Love and The Art of Travel. He is the founder of two social enterprises, the first promoting architecture, Living Architecture, which gets top architects to build holiday homes for rental by everyone. The second enterprise is The School of Life.

Reviews for How Proust Can Change Your Life

[andycyca-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

A small, concise book on what to learn from Proust and his work. Digestible for us without formal philosophical training, yet deep enough to give a few answers and, in accordance with the last chapter, deep enough to show the reader just how many questions are out there for one to figure out.

[marse_4 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I loved "The Art of Travel", but de Botton's "How Proust Can Change Your Life" left me cold. I think, sometimes, knowing too much about the author can negatively affect one's reading of his work. I have read the Swann's Way section of ISOLT (will read the rest someday, when I have time to reread the beginning), so I do find Proust's writing wonderful, but this book didn't do anything for me or my reading of Proust.

[benjamin.lima · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Now I suppose I shall have to read this Proust fellow.

[benkline · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Picked this up at the library, partly because I've never read Proust and want to see more about him (who he was, etc.), and partly to decide if I ever *do* want to read him....

And well.... this book 1) makes it so I don't want to read him, and 2) makes it so I don't much care for anything about Proust or want to learn about him.

The other reason I picked this up was Botton himself. He seems like a reasonably intelligent person in the articles, interviews, speeches, and youtube videos I've seen of him..... but through this book, he comes off very much like the way he describes Proust. ....which is not good at all.

Flat out, the book does serve to do one thing for you -- to remind you not to live a life reminiscent of Proust's, but to read Proust (if you have the time, and don't care that he can write a sentence that is literally 14 lines long).

Sorry, I value my time far too much for this, for Botton's pompous outlook on things, for Proust's life, and definitely not to read the works of Proust; especially the seven volumes of 'In Search of Lost Time'. (Seems aptly named doesn't it?)

[booktsunami · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a very slim volume about a very thick book. In fact, the longest novel so far written apparently. I worked my way through "Remembrance of things Past" when I was about 40 and it took me several years. Was it worth it? Hmm....boasting rights I guess for having read it......being profoundly bored through Sodom and Gomorrah but then a flash of recognition...a connection with a character from one of the early parts..."Swan's Way"? It certainly left an impression on me ...as it has on most others, I guess, who have made the pilgrimage. And what has Alain Boton done here but tossed off a few thoughts about Proust which he (Boton) suggests can change our lives. Initially, I was not impressed. I thought it was superficial. Boton doesn't even mention the idea that Albertine's model in real life was the chauffeur Alfredo Agostinelli.....but as I got deeper into the book....i became much more engrossed and impressed. Boton has managed to tease out some of the real essence there. A dangerous move because he suggests the there are certain limitations to reading that Proust highlights: "what can it matter to you what Ruskin feels: feel it for yourself"........."Reading is on the threshold of the spiritual life; it can introduce us to it: it does not constitute it". So we have Boton ...with his own book ....trying to skirt around these sentiments. In fact he warns us aginst a range of symptoms identified in the over-reverent, over-reliant reader:1. That we mistake writers for oracles....Proust was asked for advice on all sorts of topics which he was totally unqualified to speak about: "Why would an ability to write "In Search of Lost time" in any way indicate an aptitude for advising recently dismissed white-collar workers on their career?"2. That we will be unable to write after reading a good book: Proust might have expressed many things well , but independent thought and the history of the novel had not come to a halt with him. His book did not have to be followed by silence"....and of course, it was not. 3. That we become artistic idolaters. .......combining a literal reverence for object depicted in art with a neglect of the spirit of the art. Becoming attached to a part of the countryside depicted by a great painter, and mistake this for an appreciation of the painter.4. That we will be tempted to invest in a copy of La Cuisine Retrouve......and think by eating the food described by Proust ...we have discovered the spirit in which the food was considered. (It's like point 3, above).5. That we will be tempted to visit Illiers-Combray. In fact the village of Illiers has cashed in on Proust by adding Combray to their name. Yes, Proust did stay there for a few years and clearly modelled Combray on this village. but ....same point as in 3, above....if you concentrate on Villiers-Combray....you lose Proust's manner of treating it. Combray could be any one of many villages. The beauty which Proust revealed there could be present, latent. in almost any town , if only we made the effort to consider it in a Proustian way". A genuine homage to Proust would be to look at OUR world through HIS eyes, not to look at HIS world through OUR eyes.." And what is this Proustian way?......"It's devoting attention to noticing the faint yet vital tremors" in people...in life..."with an ability to describe these far better than we would have been able .....to put a finger on perceptions that we recognise as our own , yet coud not have formatted on our own." Putting it more bluntly it's noticing the details.And it is to: "respond to the unexpected and hurtful behaviour of others ..with something more than a wipe of the glasses, to see it as a chance to expand our understanding".Proust contends the good writing cuts new channels: ..they begin to write well only on condition that they are original , that they create their own language."Boton can't help himself: he reflects the philosophical conundrum elaborated by Bertram Russell in his theory of descriptions: "the the morning star is the evening star" or , more apposite: "Scott is the author of Waverly" ..when he talks about using one word for the author of "In search of lost time" (Proust) and the author of "the Strong Virgins" (Prevost)......the public frequently confused the two writers but it seems to really be a sly reference to the theory of descriptions. (It doesn't quite work because, I guess, the one word he is referring to is "author". With impressionist painting Proust argues that in every successful work of art there is an ability to restore to our sight a distorted or neglected aspect of reality.Apparently Proust had many good friends ....friends who wrote powerful tributes to him after his death yet there was clearly an ability in Proust to see through friendships to the insincerity apparent in every friendship. "Though it had the power to make him both a better more loyal, more charming friend, AND a more honest, profound and unsentimental thinker". And on opening one's eyes...we should not deny the bread on the sideboard a place in our conception of beauty and we should restrain our expectations when introduced to great aristocrats.And Proust on love. He seems to think that the supreme feeling of love is when the loved one is just out of reach...unattainable. And once attained, the desire recedes or is eliminated. I'm not sure that Marcel was really the best person to write about love.Sure he had lots of intense feelings ...and most of Sodom and Gommorah is consumed with these feelings (mainly jealousy) but he never really sustained a loving relationship. Yet others seem to have been able to do this. Are they all wrong/misguided? Or is Marcel missing something from his experience. of life? I think the latter. Overall, quite a fascinating book and well worth re-reading. I give it 4.5 stars.

[jphamilton-1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Since this book was published back in 1997, I have sold many copies of this book in my bookstores, but now all these years later, it took a dear friend sending me a CARE package of Alain de Botton books to get me reading it. It is always hard for a book to live up to years of hype and praise. And while I appreciated reading suggestions, I always find myself physically cringing when I’m told I have to read something … my anti-authority streak runs very deep. As to the book itself, it’s a very curious mix of a self-help manual and literary biography. Proust’s fiction, essays, letters, and his life are incorporated, to yield advice on living, dating, being a good host, vacationing, even including advice to never sleep with someone on the first date. Yes, it is a little of everything—including much humor and reading between the lines—as de Botton mines Marcel Proust extensive writings to find his relevance to our modern times. I was amused, edified, educated, and entertained, but by the book’s end—while I appreciate the originality and effort, overall—I was not a good audience. After reading the book, I thought motivation and inspiration might visit me, but still Volume One of In Search of Lost Time sits unread on my overcrowded shelf of unread books. Between this book and another of his titles, The News: A User’s Manual, I was motivated to pick up a de Botton’s novel, The Course of Love, which I found to be a clever combination of a love story and a self-help manual. While that combination sounds like a bad joke, it worked, but I refuse to tell you that you have to read it. In the end, my motto remains, No book before its time.

[ghost_boy-691444 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

If you actually like Proust this is a good book to read or if you want to start reading him. Normally I don't read self-help books, I mostly hate them, but thought this was a good one. More of a biography, author study, literary criticism than a self-help book. This did get me in the mood to read the third volume of Proust sometime soon.

[antao-3 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

“To make [reading] into a discipline is to give too large a role to what is only an incitement. Reading is on the threshold of the spiritual life; it can introduce us to it: it does not constitute it.”Quote from one of Proust’s books, In “How Proust Can Change Your Life” by Alain de Botton“Even the finest books deserve to be thrown aside.”In “How Proust Can Change Your Life” by Alain de BottonI read Proust's masterpiece back in the 80s when I was attending the British Council. I still remember all too well one particular hilariously snippy Monty Python sketch (“the Summarize Proust Competition”). Back in the day, I too wanted to be able to rub elbows with the elite intellectuals who mocked Proust, so I picked up the first of three volumes (the weighty Moncrieff editions) and got started. The first few pages were tough going, but soon I became mesmerized, then I fell in love, and by the end of the summer I was tucking flowers into the plackets of my trousers and wearing bows in my shirts. Oh childhood! Swann's Way is the swiftest, plottiest volume in the monster, with “Un Amour de Swann” a little novel in itself, with a beginning, middle, end, and all that sort of thing. Originally drafted in a mere three volumes, the “Recherche” grew as Proust re-Proustified the later volumes while waiting for publication; many readers have wished that that long mini-book could be recovered. The pace picks up again in the last volume, which the author's death prevented him from reworking, so that a dinner party—one of the greatest scenes in all literature, by the way—takes only a few hundred pages to describe, what with the jolts of consciousness with which Proust bracketed it, while the first half of the volume is impossibly brilliant about the first World War without ever leaving Paris. It's best to have time for such idleness, best to be so besotted with the possibilities of literature that you love rather than loathe the lengthiness; which is to say that you need to encounter Proust at the right time of your life and possibly even the right place, so that Proust's times and places become yours. I’ve been avoiding re-reading Proust. More than 30 years later should I re-read him? My advice for those of you who haven’t read it yet. I hope that luck will be yours; without it, the task may prove impossible. If you find yourself fatally at a loss to know what and why you're reading his work, check out Samuel Beckett's slim monograph; for all its showy intellectuality—it's a youthful work—it's still the best compass for getting across that ocean. De Botton’s attempt is not the best way to go about it. I also recommend the Proust Screenplay by Harold Pinter, which accomplishes the amazing feat of boiling the whole thing down into a 90-minute screenplay without losing any of the flavour. When I felt lost at the beginning of my first reading of Pinter's work, revealed the whole structure to me and enabled me to carry on. Reading De Botton’s book, full of Proust’s excerpts, proves that I’m still finding reading Proust a strangely claustrophobic experience. I got the overwhelming impression of a man who observes, dissects and minutely describes life, but perhaps forgets to live it? As a reader, I feel the novel takes me over. There is no room for separate interpretation or thought. Proust leaves no margin for error. It's a bit like the difference between watching butterflies fluttering in a meadow and having them pinned and labelled, dead, on a board for inspection.When someone asks me why I read so much, and why “I don’t think for myself”, I always like to refer them to this quote by Proust:‘The mediocre usually imagine that to let ourselves be guided by the books we admire robs our faculty of judgment of part of its independence. “What can it matter to you what Ruskin feels: feel for yourself” […] There is no better way of coming to be aware of what one feels oneself than by trying to recreate in oneself what a master has left. In this profound effort it is our thought itself that we bring out into the light, together with this.’

[rmagahiz · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The author has been criticized for some of his philosophical and metaphysical work (both video and written), but I think this book is not one of the more high-profile targets.
I was interested in reading it after some years ago reading all of In Search of Lost Time. He draws quite a bit from Proust's letters and essays separate from his novels, which I think helped me to understand why certain themes were so prominent. For me, the best chapter was the one entitled "How to Open Your Eyes" which makes sense of the painstaking descriptions of scene, his fascination with artists and art critics such as Ruskin, and his attraction to portrayals of the most mundane but telling details to illuminate an aspect of character. He describes the main characters in In Search of Lost Time in broad strokes and does a pretty good job of explaining what led the author to put them through their trials and triumphs by connecting their stories to the esthetic and moral obsessions he had. You begin to understand what made Proust such a fussy eccentric to some extent by following the arguments he makes through to their conclusions. If friendship and honesty are fundamentally conflicting ideals, how does a person function in society?
I enjoyed reading this and thinking about those books of Proust I read. I am not certain whether this would be a really good introduction to Proust for someone coming to them for the first time, though, because he doesn't really address the extreme bulkiness of the series of books and say whether it was necessary or desirable. I actually don't recall whether he says anything about incidents in the last few books so it would be hard to know for certain whether he's actually read past Swann's Way and The Guermantes Way himself. But clearly it would have been a less inspiring title to have this be called "How the First Two Books of Proust's Can Change Your Life."

[aliceanna-1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

Well, this book has changed my life in one way. I will never ever be tempted to pick up anything by Proust. A rich, whiny hypochondriac with no sense of reality -- not bloody likely. Holy merde.

[midwestms · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Delightful book on how this great writer's eccentric vision can apply to our own lives!

[pewterbreath · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I will never probably read Proust--because his works are so mammoth and all-engrossing, so this is the next best thing. I'm a huge fan of de Botton, and enjoy his consistently accessible erudition.

[dtn620 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Upon picking up this book I noticed the back cover was labeled Literature/Self-Help. I laughed. I couldn't imagine someone who reads self-help books picking up a book on Proust. At the same time I can't imagine a person who would read Proust or something about him to pick up a self-help book.

Now that I have read it I must say it wasn't what I expected. I expected it to be a book about how reading Proust would change my life or maybe how the experience of reading Proust would do so. Instead it is structured as I would expect a self-help book to be structured. I enjoyed many of the biographical bits on Proust's life and the excerpts from his writings and letters but it doesn't leave me chomping at the bit to pick up Swann's Way.

Maybe it was my error to read this book as a motivator to give Swann's Way another go this year (though the short bit at the end about Virginia Woolf did a little bit). Regardless of my misunderstanding/misconception of the purpose of this book it was still pretty solid and entertaining. Do I feel that Proust has changed my life through this book? No, I don't, but I do feel that it is possible that In Search of Lost Time can if I ever get around to starting it again.

[flydodofly · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Well done for de Botton once again. So much interesting information on Proust and ways how he (or anything else, for that matter) can make an impact for the better in our lives. And everything in such a small book! And de Botton's writing is always so relaxed and so clever. I wish I had read this before reading Swann's Way, though, not after. Would definitely recommend it in any case.

[jasonpettus · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

(Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com]. I am the original author of this review, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted illegally.)I recently had the chance to hear philosopher Alain de Botton talk on the "On Being" podcast, and found him to be really fascinating; much like the Existentialists of Mid-Century Modernism, he's a "spiritual atheist" who has dedicated his career towards the pursuit of meaningful ritual and ethical code-building but without the need of a supernatural higher power, even going so far as to start an "atheist church" called The School of Life out of a storefront retail space in the middle of London. And so that has prompted me to go back and read some of his older books; and what better to have come up free at first at the local library than his slim and funny 1997 volume How Proust Can Change Your Life, because this just happens to be one of the reading projects I've been contemplating taking on after finally finishing the CCLaP 100 essay series, is to finally take on the daunting seven-volume In Search of Lost Time from this famed digressor and recluse. Ah, but that's one of the first things you learn when reading de Botton's part-biography, part-life guide, is that Marcel Proust was not exactly a recluse at all, despite the famed stories about writing huge parts of his massive multi-part novel while laying in bed for sometimes 16 straight hours at a time (indeed, he was a well-known socializer and party-thrower during his own lifetime, and particularly known for leaving giant tips at high-end restaurants), nor according to de Botton should we be particularly daunted by Proust's giant novel, which has picked up a bad reputation precisely because of its digressive nature (after all, the entire thing starts with a thirty-page reminiscence of childhood sensations, all brought on by the narrator one day eating a type of cookie that he used to enjoy as a kid), but in reality a highly readable and enjoyable book for us sophisticated 21st-century audiences, much more used to this hopping around in time and space than the Early Modernist critics who first labeled this book as "difficult." A delightful little guide that spends most of its time highlighting the very human issues that Proust surprisingly championed (the joy of friendship, the mysteries of the mundane, the effort to revel in life no matter what your circumstances), this is also a fine introduction to the work of de Botton himself, and I have to say that I'm eagerly looking forward to making my way through the next book of his that has freed itself up at the library this week, 2011's Religion for Atheists.

[roblong_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Breezy, quite amusing stuff, a good read if you’ve read Proust or fancy a flavour of his world before dipping in to the full 3,500 page monster novel.

[soylentgreen23 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I have yet to read Proust, but after de Botton's love letter to the French writer I cannot wait to start. All I have to do is find a good, serviceable copy of his Recherches, and of course the hours to go with it.De Botton is a good writer in his own way, and knows how to present a good book. There are illustrations aplenty, a judicious use of white space, and short paragraphs on every page. De Botton gets out of the way wherever he can, showing Proust through the writer's own words, elaborating when necessary or when it might further interest the reader.All in all a balanced and useful little book, like a fresh madeleine that welcomes you into the day.

[esta1923 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

 This is my "Comfort Book." I often carry it to appointments to read while waiting. Somehow its excerpt from Proust, and comments by de Botton relax me!

[donna828 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Okay, so it's not a novel. It admits that right there in the subtitle. So if it's not a novel, what is it? I can't decide whether Botton has written a book of literary criticism or self-help. Maybe both...or neither. Rambling bits and pieces of Marcel Proust's philosophy are presented in nine "How to..." chapters. But why should anyone expect to learn how to change their life from a man who stayed in bed for 14 years writing a long-winded book?Personally, I read How Proust Can Change Your Life because I was interested in Proust, not because I want to change my life. I had hoped to find something in it that would make me want to read the seven volumes of In Search of Lost Time. Instead I found a lot of Proustian quotes from his voluminous book that were refuted by the way he lived his life. How ironic that the theme of Lost Time could be summed up as "how to stop wasting time and appreciate life" when one considers the huge amount of time spent by Proust in writing the book and the equally inordinate amount of time it would take to read it.Botton addresses this issue in the final chapter when he uses Proust's words against him: "...for all its qualities, his work must eventually also prove silly, maniacal, constraining, false and ridiculous to those who spend too long on it." Hmmmm... After reading Botton's book, the only change I'm planning is to read no more parodies of self-help books. However, I'm seriously contemplating reading Proust someday to form my own opinion of his work, so perhaps Botton's book does succeed in the end.

[dazzyj_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

The best introduction to Proust I can imagine and, yes, distils some useful advice from his vast corpus too. De Botton's lucid and slightly coy style works wonderfully when applied to Proust's labrynthine and elaborate writings.

[michaelm42071 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Alain de Botton’s How Proust Can Change Your Life (1997), is an only slightly tongue-in-cheek “self-help” book. de Botton uses not only In Search of Lost Time, but also Proust’s letters and journalism to come up with his advice, which he groups into “How to Love Life Today,” “How to Read for Yourself,” How to Take Your Time,” “How to Suffer Successfully,” “How to Express Your Emotions,” “How to Be a Good Friend,” “How to Open Your Eyes,” “How to Be Happy in Love,” “How to Put Books Down.” Some of these seem much more obvious topics than others; taking one’s time in assessing an emotion, for example, looks like Proust’s main strength, and there are many observations by the young narrator of In Search of Lost Time about how art helps us to see the world. As far as being successful in one’s emotional life and in love, de Botton does not reveal that he is aware that the ill success of Swann and the narrator in these regards is expressed in the novel as a general principle. People don’t learn from experience in Proust. All they learn is how they will react to an emotional situation like falling in love, and then they proceed to react that way again and again and again. Thus we watch both Swann and the narrator replaying their parallel scenes of love and jealousy. de Boton quotes a letter to Gide in which Proust says he can be of help to people in love, not from his own success, but in a general way; de Boton takes Proust seriously here and does not seem aware that the letter is in Proust’s puckish manner. But de Botton, aside from some grammatical gaffes, is an entertaining writer who can somehow get away with a book based on a wrong-headed idea.

[nickelini · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I'm sure this book had a point. However, overall it was too boring for me to care what that point was.

[rayski_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

A review of Marcel Proust’s masterpiece “In Search of Lost Time”. Botton tries to describe in 200 pages what Proust wrote in 2000 pages. More than a review of Proust’s novel, a look at the man.

[juliannekim · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

my ultimate favorite book that makes you think clearly and lead a more fulfilling life.

[fraxi_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

At last, a short book on Proust! Very helpful and insightful into the man and his work, but the quirky arrangement and presentation may jar. Certainly worth a read.

[kpodesta_2 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

One of his best books I think - funny, thought provoking, informative, short (!), while also giving a picture of what Proust was like both as a person and a writer. Uplifting stuff mostly too.

[amydross · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

almost as brilliant and inspiring as its source material (but much easier to read).

[hellbent_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Excellent how-to guide to appreciating one's own senses.