That's Not a Feeling

By Dan Josefson

"Dan Josefson is a writer of astounding promise a . . . a bold, funny, mordant, and deeply intelligent debut." —David Foster Wallace, author of Infinite Jest

WINNER OF THE 2015 WHITING AWARD FOR FICTION
New York Times Editors’ Choice 

Benjamin arrives with his parents for a tour of Roaring Orchards, a therapeutic boarding school tucked away in upstate New York. Suddenly, his parents are gone and Benjamin learns that he is there to stay. Sixteen years old, a two-time failed suicide, Benjamin must navigate his way through a new world of morning meds, popped privileges, candor meetings and cartoon brunches—all run by adults who themselves have yet to really come of age.
 
The only person who comprehends the school's many rules and rituals is Aubrey, the founder and headmaster. Fragile, brilliant, and prone to rage, he is as likely to use his authority to reward students as to punish them. But when Aubrey falls ill, life at the school begins to unravel. Benjamin has no one to rely on but the other students, especially Tidbit, an intriguing but untrustworthy girl with a "self-afflicting personality." More and more, Benjamin thinks about running away from Roaring Orchards—but he feels an equal need to know just what it is he would be leaving behind.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
• Release date: Oct 2, 2012
• ISBN: 9781616951894

Reviews for That's Not a Feeling

[sar96-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed the adventures at The Roaring Orchards School for Troubled Teens. I feel like... That's Not a Feeling, I believe that That's Not a Feeling is a wild ride that leaves one pondering questions and issues brought up.

[e5j · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I had no idea there were so many different kinds of puppets. There is a whole paragraph listing them and I think it was very prevalent to the characters the way anything was prevalent to anything at all in this book. A lot of small details to leave or take, and I took them all happily. Everything didn't have to connect, it just was there. I liked that about this book especially since it does take place in a sort of step up from a psych ward but a loony bin nevertheless where I pictured everything very easily and in my teen years could have been there myself. Just like the other puppets.

[booklove2 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

We meet Benjamin smashing his feet into the cracked windshield of his parents Oldsmobile. And he isn't even put into the violent kids group at The Roaring Orchards School for Troubled Teens. Benjamin has been suicidal in the past, but it seems like any kid can be thrown into this jigsaw puzzle of a mansion, just as long as someone pays tuition. Benjamin is writing his story fifteen years after getting out of the school, when he visits the decaying and molding mansion, left abandoned. Aubrey started Roaring Orchards when he was fired from his other school: for not agreeing with disciplining children for bad behavior by kicking them out of the school. He thought that didn't teach them anything. So Aubrey started his own school in upstate New York, both for kids with mental illnesses and violent prone students. The kids can do anything and not get kicked out for it: violence that adults would be in prison for. The school has questionable, shady practices: one example is "ghosting", treating a student like they do not exist -- no talking to them, no looking at them. It seems to me like that would alienate a student already having a tough time. When Aubrey's health starts to fail, so does the school. The cover of the book does the best at describing the personality of the book: The humor is quiet yet desperately sad in tough situations, much like the comic book panel pictures that feature haunting and sad images on the cover. One example from the cover is Burn Victim, the silent witness, a teddy so well-loved that it is wrapped in white felt. Really, no other cover could have worked better. This book reminded me of Lauren Groff's 'Arcadia' for many reasons: mainly for involving communities that mean well but ultimately become abusive. Aubrey wants to help these kids, but sometimes too much is too much. Aubrey says to the faculty members: "I hear the way you laugh at these kids, the way you laugh and belittle them, make them the butts of your stories and jokes. ... You get nervous and you laugh; you get angry so you make fun and laugh. ... Yet see how sober the students are. They're so funny but so rarely laugh." (page 279) Many of the faculty are having similar problems as the students they should be role models for. Benjamin sees the way faculty treats students in a different way: "Seeing us as objects of fun let the faculty imagine we were somehow protected, I think, as comic figures are able to survive all kinds of harm." (page 116) I thought this was interesting, because it seemed the same way that Josefson was treating the book and the students within it, and seems like the moral of the story, the point of the book. Dan Josefson says in the after word that he worked for a while in a school. This is Josefson's first novel, and if it is any indication how long it took to get this published, there is a blurb from David Foster Wallace who passed away in 2008. In an interview in the back of the book, it is mentioned that this may be the last book David Foster Wallace gave a blurb for, or even the last book he may have read before his death. Which gets kind of eerie, considering the plot of 'That's Not A Feeling'. It's pretty dang sad and disappointing that none of the bigger publishers would pick this book up, but thankfully there are indie publishers like Soho who do. It kind of makes you wonder how many bookish gems are out there, not getting a chance to be discovered. I really don't want to miss books like this one. I liked this desperately funny, yet hauntingly sad book.

[litfan_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a difficult review to write, because this is a difficult novel to describe. Set in Roaring Orchards, a residential group home for wayward teens, it’s narrated by 16-year-old Benjamin, who finds himself unexpectedly deposited at Roaring Orchards by his parents. Benjamin is clearly an unreliable narrator, as we get events not only from his perspective, but he also narrates from the perspective of the staff and other residents, during experiences for which he wasn’t actually present. So, we can’t be sure how much of his account is accurate, but somehow this didn’t affect the impact of the story for me. Roaring Orchards is an insular world, founded by Aubrey, who has developed his own system of working with the teens that he teaches to his staff, who for the most part follow without question. Both odd and charismatic, Aubrey is also ill, and as his health deteriorates, so does the structure at the school; staff, some of whom seem caught in perpetual adolescence themselves, find themselves in precarious situations with “their” kids that have both hilarious and heartbreaking outcomes. Written in a tone that is sometimes sardonic, sometimes forgiving, and sometimes hilarious (I laughed out loud on several occasions reading this), this is a book that is rich, funny, sad, deep, vulnerable, dark, silly, and unfailingly original. I don’t think I have ever read anything quite like it, and I enjoyed it immensely.

[samsattler · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Because so many first-novels are coming-of-age tales, it is no great surprise that Dan Josefson’s That’s Not a Feeling follows the pattern. No, the real surprise here is how good this book is for a first effort. Within the confines of a boarding school for troubled teens called Roaring Orchards, the author creates a unique little world that is as appalling as it is funny – and he makes it all seem very real. Although only those being completely honest with themselves would admit it, Roaring Orchards is a place for desperate parents to park children with whom they can no longer cope. Some of the teens are suicidal, some are borderline criminals, some are former addicts, and a few are simply incapable of coping with everyday life. Roaring Orchards represents the last chance their parents have to save them – and to reclaim a normal life for themselves. That Aubrey, the school’s headmaster, strictly limits contact between parents and children makes it that much easier for parents to rationalize the relief resulting from their children’s absence.Benjamin, who has already tried to kill himself twice, agreed to tour the boarding school with his parents only because it “calms them down.” By the time he realizes that his is a one-way ticket, Benjamin’s parents are long gone. He does not want to be there, and he lets everyone know about it. But until he can figure out the system, he is going to have to take it one precarious day at a time.Aubrey uses an inflexible set of rules – bordering on rituals - to keep his Roaring Orchards students in line. The students, ranging in age from 14 to 16, are divided into three groups, or “dorms,” with distinctive sets of privileges and obligations for each group. At the top of the hierarchy are “Normal Boys and Girls,” followed by “Alternative Boys and Girls,” and “New Girls and Boys.” “Normal Kids” have the run of the school and the headmaster grants them a status almost equal to that of his teachers. “New Kids,” the group with zero privileges and special work obligations, is where everyone begins his stay at Roaring Orchards – although for some it is a revolving door of a dorm they never seem to escape for long. Consequently, “Alternative Kids” are very much aware that they are always one slip-up away from returning to the “New Kids” dorm.This is not a happy place for anyone but Aubrey. Teachers are as unhappy as their students, the main difference being that teachers can escape (as they regularly do) by quitting the school, while students are limited to desperate prison break runs that never gain them freedom for long.Immensely observant and insightful, Benjamin is also quite the chronicler and That’s Not a Feeling is a wild ride – sometimes horrifying, sometimes hilarious, always unforgettable.